Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

gaius01:


Sir with all due respect, marrying such lady is not a problem if only She can come to Nigeria to marry and stay, but you going up there that implies you will be short to some right as a man. This lady is OK financial and educationally and marrying her you can't control anything about her. Beside she woñt have the moral an average Nigeria girls .

gaius01:


Sir with all due respect, marrying such lady is not a problem if only She can come to Nigeria to marry and stay, but you going up there that implies you will be short to some right as a man. This lady is OK financial and educationally and marrying her you can't control anything about her. Beside she woñt have the moral an average Nigeria girls .

Bernice4ozodo:
if this was done to you or your sister how would you feel....

Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

karnap:
they don't have Nigerian morals of been a remousful wife, ask the man who introduced her to you if he married from abroad or he married here before they traveled to abroad,such girls get angry over everything and they will always feels like controlling everything,they love to call police and you know what is that means,I'm not discouraging you but,marry a Nigerian girl and go abroad instead of married Nigerian Americans who born and brought up there with all those sense of fragile attitude towards marriage,they always believed things go in their favour in court.

MT:


Look at the BIGGER picture. If you love her, you are about to give your generation unborn eternal opportunities. Forget about what people are saying that if you have to marry her, then she needs to come to Nigeria. Ask yourself, come to Nigeria to do what ? Leaving a world of opportunities for a world of misery.

Your education should prepare you to easily adapt to people of different cultures. It is beautiful to learn cultures of other people. Don't dwell on the NEGATIVES, dwell on the POSITIVES instead. Most people advising you here wont think twice to grab this opportunity. Your cousin and his wife have helped you, it is up to you now. My 2cents.

Rgade:
I have no experience with Nigerian ladies born in the US,so I will wait for the experienced ones to come in and share their ideas with us.
However I'm sure that due to the good nature of the economy over there and overall better quality of reasoning possessed by girls there over the ones here;
She won't be bothering you with urgent 2k requests every second.
Also she won't have birthdays that occur several times in a year.

InvertedHammer:
/
So in this day and age, you are expecting someone else to pick a wife for you. Marriage is not friendship. The sad part is marrying her and moving to US only to realize that you could have done better. The resentment alone will break the marriage.
/

muzeze77:
she is 27 and still single then she has no one to marry her in america , and it’s always for a reason. And your cousin said she is a good what did you expect? Were you expecting her to say she is bad

Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

Trumptweet:


This got me thinking. Thank you.

Lexusgs430:



Ofori vs Barbara..... Read their story......

yemi1504:


Abi o, tell him! The marriage is not even important or the koko but the better and life changing opportunities he will give himself and his unborn children. My 2 cents.

Bernice4ozodo:
some pples mind are backward and wicked

stanliwise:
Now you like the average Nigeria girl

LaEvilIMiss:


My response since I have been married for 8 years to an American-born Nigerian from Wisconsin

1: Family friends can give you an idea about the upbringing afforded your potential partner growing up but that is as far as it goes, It can be influential in character-building but it does not tell you exactly who that person really is when no one is watching. If you can and if you have friends who know her at a different level, then ask their opinion - usually from a fellow girl and not another guy (guys use their heart but girls are cold and will tell you the bitter truth even if they are just jealous)

2: "She is a good girl from a good family" is your cousin a guy or girl? how long has she/he known her and under what conditions? did they live together, go to school together or are in the same fraternity or workplace. Such information is useful but you need to have specific example of (for instance) if they have been through a personal crisis and how they managed it, how they deal with other people's feelings etc

3: "I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently. " that is actually a good move but always note this one fact of social-conditioning, nearly everyone will show you their best foot on social media. until you have had a chance to start dating and getting to know each other, there is no telling whether she is NICE APPARENTLY or she is just putting up her nice side. also understand that you must have your STANDARDS and a threshold of what you will accept from another fellow human-being. The true character of a human being is demonstrated in a moment of weakness or an opportunity to show humility. This is because Strength and Pride are only mastered by humble people.

4: She is 27. aaaaargh! while "Age is just a number" by American Standards, she is getting married pretty LATE.. but that is not exactly a bad thing seeing that you are Nigerian and people get married at 40-50-60 and as long as their is love in the marriage, the rest is just hater-gossip. The reason why I am bringing this up is that there are several Socioeconomic factors working against/for you the older you get in America as a female. There are some job roles that become hard to get or be considered for (actor, business executive, marketer etc) and there are sum that you will fit into perfectly (Nursing, Caregiver, Restaurant-owner etc) A masters is a good achievement for both of you at that age bracket which means you can also get higher-up the career-ladder faster if your performance matches your credentials.

In summary, Pray for wisdom and get to know her better (physically) and don't make any commitments you will regret later - also understand how the American System works in favor for or against Successful Black Women.

Good luck

pansophist:
1. Make sure she chooses you. Arranged marriage works well when the lady in particular finds the man attractive and naturally wants to be with him. Men generally can be with a woman that they do not love, especially if she is a good person, I can not say the same for women. So I repeat, make sure that she chooses you and truly want to be with you. By choosing you, I do not necessarily mean meeting you herself and not through arrangement (that is just a vehicle to meet each other), but that she finds you attractive, adorable, and respectable.

2. Do not go have a relationship with her because of the prospect of green card. You NEED to find her as a good partner genuinely. and the prospect of living in the US will just be an addition, to make your marital life prosperous.

3. Be conscious of the power dynamic in your relationship. Traditionally, it is the woman that integrates into the lifestyle of a man, not otherwise. She is the one adopting your surname, moving to you, being impregnated by you, and submitting (not to be understood as tyranny/subordination) to you. Make sure you have something going for yourself, and green-card is not something that will be that attractive, or at least have self-respect to not make it influence such a lifelong decision. Moving to live with her in the US, getting your papers through her, being economically handicapped while she simultaneously assume the role of the torch bearer is not a recipe for a good start. Only truly good women will take that role and not look down on you. You know her better, so don't take this as an express advice.

4. Most importantly, make sure she is not settling for, but chooses you out of all her options. A question I would ask myself would be why she can not find a man in the US, a country with a population of about x2 of Nigeria. Why go through the stress of long distance relationship with you and considering marriage when she haven't even met you? It is important you know that in every deregulated relationship (meaning a lady freely making romantic decisions without social/cultural pressure), it is the woman that chooses the man, not otherwise. You may argue that you asked her out firstly, but her acceptance is mere confirmation of having choosing you out of all her suitors. Your words/toasting skills didn't do the job, but the kind of man you have made yourself to be.

Tell her to consider the prospect of visiting you in Nigeria, and explore the possibility of living in Nigeria and lead your family life there, then in the nearest future, you may both move abroad when you are convinced about the kind of woman she is. Don't just uproot your life and move to her to the US, leaving you vulnerable and dependent on her, in a feminized society. personally I would never do that. After all, Nigeria is her country as well. I am advising you as someone that lives abroad, and have seen how lots of relationship crashed because of not having proper planning and jumping to marry anyone because of the chance to move abroad.

Be honest with yourself. If you want to marry her genuinely, pay attention to the above advice. But if you want to marry her to move abroad, I can guarantee you that she probably will be that smart to see your intention and rain hell on you, and it would be better you just remain in Nigeria and live your life peacefully, than be at the mercy of an estranged wife in a foreign, feminized society. Good luck.

bukatyne:

Imagine

bukatyne:

Imagine