motherlode:
Teaching good precepts... Well, it all depends!

To all of you shouting Poverty mentality... I really do hope you understand that as parents, you are obliged to train your own child the best way you deem fit. The OP has done his own part for the sake of nurturing his child in the way and manner he deems fit... Do your own part for your children, it will all tell in the future.

Receiving the birthday gift isn't the problem here... I think the major problem here is the fact that the gift made the OP look like he couldn't have appreciated his own child more than someone else did.

The mind of that child at such infant age isn't well developed enough to understand the consequential damages that can happen. It's then up to the parent to show the child that parental love is much more valuable than the PS4 itself!

Most of them don't even have family not to talk of children

AFvckingAlpha:
The fvck

Niggarr!!


Disgusting!

This is what a poverty stricken mind can cause!

The oppression just start!!

Hustle o! So you nor go perform this rubbish wey just happen for here.

I got nothing else to say but hustle!!

How may hustle you don hustle wey make you fit buy Ferrari?
This terrible mindset like yours na im dey make boys dey steal abs do yahoo yahoo for benin.
There is one thing called common sense and contentment which many of you lack.

Go hustle steal so you can be like the Joneses.
Nonsense!

angelfallz:


In the OP's case he chose to return it. Nothing wrong with that.

not a wise choice. but that's his choice

edoairways:

Not all schools or churches celebrate birthdays. You can choose to celebrate if you so wish

it should be banned in all schools and churches not even an option.


Church is a place to worship the Lord not for party or Meriden.


And school is a place for impacting positive knowledge and values not a place to go partying around. A lot of things are being done wrong today, this is one of them.


And imagine some posters calling the op poor, poverty mentality and such people must be even wretched and dejected to think of such nonsense in what the op posted.


Poor people are usually quick to call others poor and mock them just as mad people are first to call someone mad.

For the op to afford to send his daughter to school that supposed rich kids attend means he's not doing bad, so why are some wretched people calling him poor and all that crazy names

080bjaked:


You can see the real poverty mentality in those shouting "hustle ooo", "poverty", "why return gifts" blah blah blah. They are missing the real point (which is expected as most of them either aren't living comfortably or are not parents). The the real point of this post is contentment. If you are glad your child is receiving these gift and on your child's birthday you decided to share lunch boxes or less valuable parks, do you know that' enough to steer greed and inferiority into your kid's mind? These children compare gifts and if you don't repay in similar pattern, the other children will make jest of your baby and that could lead to serious emotional issues for the child. Teach your child contentment because the truth is you will never have all you want.
For godliness and contentment is great gain.

I don't want to comment before.
do you know that you shot yourself in the leg with your comment, returning the gift will expose the child to inferiority complex and it will be a big blow to the child self esteem.
Do you know that returning the gift will isolate the child in the school, there is nothing bad in rejecting a gift, but common the op reasons for returning it is baseless because nobody will ever force the op to celebrate his child birthday in school talk more of reciprocating the same gift his child get as gift.
If the op is in competition with the parents in the school, them he is suffering from insecurities and inferiority complex, because nobody is competing with him

Olatunjibaby:
The most worrisome is this new trend of hiring all these live band to come and play happy birthday song to a celebrant in class.

Say what?

miketayo:


not a wise choice. but that's his choice

it's a wise choice, he sent a strong message to the mumu parents of his daughter's classmate that celebrated birthday for their little ward and deemed it feat to share playstation 4 to kids, it's a wrong move, useless move by money miss road parents.


Why not buy them kiddies tablet to learn at home if you must buy any expensive gift for such Or why didn't they send their kid to BIS if they are that rich, I am sure no parent of a child schooling at BIS or Atlantic Hall will complain.


The parents of that child are not sensible, they want to create a class they don't even reach.


For your info, I have a child now and I can afford to buy him whatever he needs on earth now, but I will never do that because some things we parents do are wrong.

Sebastine1994:
Please schools should stop celebrating birthdays in school, please, biko. I use God beg you.

I sent my child to school to learn and not to celebrate birthdays, I came back from work one day and saw this play station 4 in a carton, I asked them who own. they said my daughter classmates celebrated her birthday and shared these gift to them.

I quickly ask them to reparkage the gift and take it back to the school, before I return from work the next day.

MY REASON IS THIS: all fingers are not equal, when it is my daughter's birthday they would be expecting a gift of equal amount.

The parent may be rich and I am not, they give my child what I can't afford for her which is a recipe for greed. she should be contented with what I can afford,

These her young mind should be moulded early to adapt to reality.

These private schools are encouraging these evil act, it may affect the child tommorow.

please push to front page to expose the dangers of school birthday.

Na N120k u just returned o!

Me wey be papa dey dream of having one. Plz is it still available? me need it.

NaijaCr7:
Poverty mentality mixed with inferiority complex

It's a gift and am sure it would have been what the child (celebrant) wished for.. I am sure no inscription on the box reads you must Payback with similar gesture.

Why don't u stop breathing because you think u can't pay God what it worth.

You go your friend party he serve you rice and chicken shey that one mean say u no go invite am come yours cos na rice Nd fish u fit afford.

And for those Mofos saying PS4 is counter productive, you need to do more research. Gaming helps develop mental reasoning and decision making, the only bad side is addiction, and we all know addiction to any thing is likely dangerous.

Modified.
Let's assume the father of the celebrant gets to know about such act from the child's father, in the future when such child need his connection to get something am sure he might be skeptical offering a hand....when you can afford a school where your child can mix with the influential what you teach them is power of humility, sharing and contentment. You don't create enemies for them because of perceived competition

Very myopic point!
He can choose to train his child as he deems fit.
You can as well spoil your Child with accepting gifts beyond your reach simply because some of you do not know what it means to be a parent.

Some of you just type rubbish without looking at the issue holistically.
She is iñ school to get the best of education not in school to be influenced with wealth or gift that can turn her to a greedy person tomorrow.
She is in her formative years and needs every guidance now than ever.
I can see why meritocracy as died in this country because of crude mentality like yours

Tango123:


O yea. Live ur life and allow him live his.

O yea, when u become a father and begin to raise children, up to through university, we can have this conversation again. Until then, bye

You're very funny.
This is the internet.
If the Op feels he made the right decision and that's his choice and you also feel we should live our lives while he lives his, then why did he come to a public forum to tell us?
I don't even understand your point.
Like I said it's poverty mentality and inferiority complex combined that made the Op do what he did.
And you and the op seem to reason alike, so I'm not surprised.
If it was 1million naira that was given to his child, we won't be having this conversation.

peesleem:

I don't want to comment before.
do you know that you shot yourself in the leg with your comment, returning the gift will expose the child to inferiority complex and it will be a big blow to the child self esteem.
Do you know that returning the gift will isolate the child in the school, there is nothing bad in rejecting a gift, but common the op reasons for returning it is baseless because nobody will ever force the op to celebrate his child birthday in school talk more of reciprocating the same gift his child get as gift.
If the op is in competition with the parents in the school, them he is suffering from insecurities and inferiority complex, because nobody is competing with him

He needs to change school for that his daughter asap.


You have a point because other kids will start bullying her with this incident, he needs to change school for the child asap.


But the parents that celebrated the birthday were wrong, these are kids, why gift them ps4, not even kiddies tablet or something educative, a game console for such little kids, it is completely wrong

Best comment.

Drabeey:
I think you are been overprotective.


Bro, in same vein... Returning such gift may preach poverty sanity to your kid.

Please do this if you insist on returning the gift.

Tell your daughter why you can't buy that gift and why her peers parents can afford it.

Tell her why she doesn't need such gift.

Tell her why she should preach poverty sanity (as her father preaches through this act) to her friends.

Above all, tell her how to act when her friends banter her for such act you pulled.

I'm sorry if that sounds somehow, the decision to return that gift is too harsh on that kid, she never asked to be in your home and she didn't bargained to be born to a father who see technology that may foster learning as evil.

Most of the comments here are not good at all, although the op reason is not valid enough but returning the gift is not a bad idea. Those who have children will understand better how children behave and how they get carried away by little things. They are always trying to imitate their friends and their teachers will always be bias in this situation because they will favor the children of the elite than the others.

Let us remember that not everyone celebrate their birthdays and there are people who don't believe or accept birthdays celebration.

Aye man
Op u did wrong there that was a gift that should be accepted in good fate... It's not compulsory that u have to reciprocate the gesture... Please you people should stop being petty

franchasng:
it's a wise choice, he sent a strong message to the mumu parents of his daughter's classmate that celebrated birthday for their little ward and deemed it feat to share playstation 4 to kids, it's a wrong move, useless move by money miss road parents.


Why not buy them kiddies tablet to learn at home if you must buy any expensive gift for such Or why didn't they send their kid to BIS if they are that rich, I am sure no parent of a child schooling at BIS or Atlantic Hall will complain.


The parents of that child are not sensible, they want to create a class they don't even reach.


For your info, I have a child now and I can afford to buy him whatever he needs on earth now, but I will never do that because some things we parents do are wrong.

we don't know how young the child is, I am guessing old enough to play a console game. And console games helps develop your brains, makes you think faster and sharper, so its not a waste.
it might be an expensive school as well, there are parents who wants the best for their kids and sends them rich schools while they struggle to pay the fees (I know of some).
if you feel it will send a wrong message to your child, y not sit the child down and explain your life situation to him/her, let the child understand you cant afford it. No one is expecting other parents to bring PS5 or a car for each student, that is just inferiority complex talking. And if they are so what, are you living your life to please others at the detriment of your wallet ?

Dizzyrascal:
it's obvious you have not experienced such before. A teacher teaching in one of those affluent kind of school brought a similar experience to me not quite long ago. She even had the honesty of heart to intimate me about the inherent dangers of it.

In her school, it became an obvious competition for parents to outdo one another to the detriment of the parents that don't have equal means Even in the best private schools not all parents are of equal financial standing. All fingers are definitely not equal. Let me put it this way when it is the turn of the father who asked his daughter to return the gift to reciprocate and he cannot, the daughter will feel like a failure at school Psychologically, it is not good for both the father and daughter. He took an absolutely flawless decision if you ask me.

I do not surmise that there are no other ways of handling the situation but his methodology is not bad at all. Another method would have been to have a heart to heart talk with the daughter and explain the dangers of such practices to the school authorities. Might not necessarily change anything though.

Somebody says the real issue.

His reasons might not be the best but the real reason is the bolded, returning the gifts sends a strong message (not necessarily to those who gave the gift but) to his children and even the teachers.

Very dangerous practice in schools nowadays.

Let everybody train their children as the deem fit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z_9CwsQMUY

kayrukky:
@op,you are right about what you did. But it would have been better if it can be addressed with the school authority.
Similar things used happen in my children school, it was causing unnecessary competitions among the parents, the school authority have to limit the gifts to be shared in the school to cake and drinks to return to normalcy
It is not about poverty.

PS: FYI, I pay about 500k per term per child, it is not all about money as so many people are attributing the man’s behavior to poverty.

Good decision by the school

rawpadgin:
PS4 for everyone in the class?

That family must be freaking rich

My brother, I still shock like this I swear. For this Coro period so?

@op you're a sadist, you're one of the problem we are having in this country.
Just imagine this nonsense here.

This is wrong
Yeah
Not all hands are the same but you should some appreciation and put in the right motivation.. the fact that you can’t afford it now don’t mean you can’t later.. I think on a long run and good thought..that was the wrong move..always learn to put in the right motivation in anything especially children..now the kid might even start feeling inferior to her mate.. smh ��‍♂️

i think a simple visit to the school to explain the reasons behind rejecting the gift and such reasons explained to parents of whoever gave the gift would have done it.
You were wrong in telling the child to return such by herself.

Sebastine1994:
Please schools should stop celebrating birthdays in school, please, biko. I use God beg you.

I sent my child to school to learn and not to celebrate birthdays, I came back from work one day and saw this play station 4 in a carton, I asked them who own. they said my daughter classmates celebrated her birthday and shared these gift to them.

I quickly ask them to reparkage the gift and take it back to the school, before I return from work the next day.

MY REASON IS THIS: all fingers are not equal, when it is my daughter's birthday they would be expecting a gift of equal amount.

The parent may be rich and I am not, they give my child what I can't afford for her which is a recipe for greed. she should be contented with what I can afford,

These her young mind should be moulded early to adapt to reality.

These private schools are encouraging these evil act, it may affect the child tommorow.

please push to front page to expose the dangers of school birthday.

Even though your intentions are good, your action in my opinion will mess up your young child.

Is it a crime to give gifts? If no, it is certainly not a crime to be a recipient of a gift.

There is a very thin line between desire and envy. Your child needs to learn the difference.

Your actions is extreme, that which could give her inferiority complex.

What happened to talking to a child at his or her level. I teach my children when they ask for Ice cream, I tell them that I cant afford it always and it is not good for them too frequently. I tell them to pray for me to get money to buy Ice-cream, clothing, bicycle, school fees etc. When you ask my children to pray today, they will ask God to provide for Mummy and Daddy so that they will go to school and get all they want.

You can't protect your child by shielding the child from reality. You will be confusing them.

I'd rather you tell your child how very expensive the gift was and how hard she needs to study to afford it. Also tell her to appreciate the giver and then give her rules of playing it.

What you did isn't fair at all. Your daughter did't steal or beg for it. Your daughter will definitely not understand why you did that no matter how you explain. Next time, she may even hide the gift from you or reject it.

PS4 as a gift... We are bleeped!! Alien demons have taken over using stupid people

Op weldone. I totally support what you did . The School is suppose to be a place where children learn and and are taught good morals .

Nigeria is becoming a very superficial society .This is why so many couples are ready to go the extra mile of taking loan from people so that they can keep up with other mothers in school and also not to let their children down , especially when they are looking up to them to give out goodies just like thier peers.
This should stop , It is becoming like a competition in schools among parent in recent tims . Just imagine a parents who is still owing schools fees for two terms and appealing to the school for thier understanding & consideration was able to have money to throw a school party for their son with expensive gift pack. Is that not a misplaced priority ?

For those of you abusing the op that she has poverty mentality and all that .. I think you parent in recent times have misplaced priorities . What happens to celebrating your children's birthdays with cake and drinks ? And get a wonderful and expensive gift for your child at home? All these gift pack is nothing but a big show off .This is the reason why our society is messed up with our children growing up think that money must be made at all cost to keep up with the jones and their peers that have the good things of life .

There are so many parents that grown up Babies. This is the reason why our youth are pressured to do stuff illegally ( like fraud and drugs ) so that they can measure up to thier peers and society .

This is where it all start from. Some of our children are every where in the world engaging in all kind of illegal activities so as to keep up with our sick societal expectations. Madam weldone .

AFvckingAlpha:
The fvck
Niggarr!!
Disgusting!
This is what a poverty stricken mind can cause!
The oppression just start!!
Hustle o! So you nor go perform this rubbish wey just happen for here.
I got nothing else to say but hustle!!

Does your moniker mean that your brain is fcvked

anonimi:
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3473612_image_jpeg_jpeg6f95b5e7a24ad4fc0808d6698fd37362

Rubbish! Nobody is expecting anything from you. Stop denying your children their childhood funs

adanny01:



Even though your intentions are good, your action in my opinion will mess up your young child.

Is it a crime to give gifts? If no, it is certainly not a crime to be a recipient of a gift.

There is a very thin line between desire and envy. Your child needs to learn the difference.

Your actions is extreme, that which could give her inferiority complex.

What happened to talking to a child at his or her level. I teach my children when they ask for Ice cream, I tell them that I cant afford it always and it is not good for them too frequently. I tell them to pray for me to get money to buy Ice-cream, clothing, bicycle, school fees etc. When you ask my children to pray today, they will ask God to provide for Mummy and Daddy so that they will go to school and get all they want.

You can't protect your child by shielding the child from reality. You will be confusing them.

I'd rather you tell your child how very expensive the gift was and how hard she needs to study to afford it. Also tell her to appreciate the giver and then give her rules of playing it.

What you did isn't fair at all. Your daughter did't steal or beg for it. Your daughter will definitely not understand why you did that no matter how you explain. Next time, she may even hide the gift from you or reject it.

God bless you jare.

NaijaCr7:
Poverty mentality mixed with inferiority complex

It's a gift and am sure it would have been what the child (celebrant) wished for.. I am sure no inscription on the box reads you must Payback with similar gesture.

Why don't u stop breathing because you think u can't pay God what it worth.

You go your friend party he serve you rice and chicken shey that one mean say u no go invite am come yours cos na rice Nd fish u fit afford.

And for those Mofos saying PS4 is counter productive, you need to do more research. Gaming helps develop mental reasoning and decision making, the only bad side is addiction, and we all know addiction to any thing is likely dangerous.

Modified.
Let's assume the father of the celebrant gets to know about such act from the child's father, in the future when such child need his connection to get something am sure he might be skeptical offering a hand....when you can afford a school where your child can mix with the influential what you teach them is power of humility, sharing and contentment. You don't create enemies for them because of perceived competition

Fantastic

AFvckingAlpha:
The fvck



This is what a poverty stricken mind can cause!

I don't think the OP is broke , i bet it's not a public school but that reaction is very bad

it could damage OP's daughter's confidence forever

RESPECT !!!!!

NaijaCr7:
Poverty mentality mixed with inferiority complex

It's a gift and am sure it would have been what the child (celebrant) wished for.. I am sure no inscription on the box reads you must Payback with similar gesture.

Why don't u stop breathing because you think u can't pay God what it worth.

You go your friend party he serve you rice and chicken shey that one mean say u no go invite am come yours cos na rice Nd fish u fit afford.

And for those Mofos saying PS4 is counter productive, you need to do more research. Gaming helps develop mental reasoning and decision making, the only bad side is addiction, and we all know addiction to any thing is likely dangerous.

Modified.
Let's assume the father of the celebrant gets to know about such act from the child's father, in the future when such child need his connection to get something am sure he might be skeptical offering a hand....when you can afford a school where your child can mix with the influential what you teach them is power of humility, sharing and contentment. You don't create enemies for them because of perceived competition