₦airaland Forum

Bifrost:
ezigbo idiot ki bu. How could you not know she was being sarcastic?

So, if she asks you to bring something for her and you ask where to put it, and she says "put it on my head" you will put it on her head?

Aug28th:
Lmao
Kuku kee me

QuinieR:
You were always looking at gbola

krissconnect:
Whats happening on aug 28?

robosky02:
You again? �

Masonkaycares:
2014 or 15. We went to farm in the school farm, our crew as adventurous as we were plucked Satan's beans as we called it and threw it at one our female class prefect that we hate as f!CK and it got on her skin and she scratched her skin to death. Soon it spread to the whole school even ss3. Back then we wer just in js3 oboy e sweet die.

Legendarytonyy:
You mean she died? That's sad ohh

Geedy:
In Olamide's voice "melo melo, melo melo mofe wi, melo melo, melo melo mofe so"

Mehn when I looked back at wht I've done as a child n look at d circumstances surrounding me today, I say to myself it's a pay back time.

I'm ds guy with innocent luk, but within me is an abode of d demon.

Shd I talk abt hw I'll shit in a nylon n throw it across to our neighbor's comp, r hw me n my geng will set people's farm ablaze, r hw we'll leave school during teaching period and went to people's farm to pluck oranges, pineapples, cashew even kolanut, I can't tell it all, I did sht as a child.

The one I can still vividly remember was wen I brought my partners in crime to our house. There used to be ds lime tree in front of our house owned by my landlord (ds man a retired teacher then, get craze for head).
We plucked a bucket-full of the lime, dug hole n play snookers with it. Dat was how d man (landlord) caught me d my guys in act, we hd to run n leave evrythin behind. We set out for anoda place, play until d evening, everyone went dere own separate places.
Knowing wht lies ahead of me at home, I hd to sneaked in. Few minutes later food was set, as a family we eat in group.
To cut to the chase, that was how ds man just showed up from no where, alas! I want to run but no other way outta the room.
He held my hand and drag me out of my parents gently. It's obvious my dad wasn't surprised he knows wht I'm capable of.

Here's the funny part:

As d man was dragging me I hd to hold unto a metal which was nailed to the door. He pulled me but he couldn't since he's old. My dad nw told me in my language (Idoma) "byo kankan" meaning hold it very tight, and at d same time told the man in Yoruba "Baba efa daadaa" meaning Baba pull him very well.

He kept repeating d same thing to me n d man vice versa.
As an elderly man he pulled me with all his energy until he wears out.

Then of course he thought of another way by biting my hand off the grip, that was how he finally got me. Out of the trouble I hv let him pass through, he beat the shit outta me. lol.

Legendarytonyy:
You mean she died? That's sad ohh

Aug28th:
My birthdate

Royalization:
As funny as it might sound but true. I inserted a six(6) inches nail directly into my dog's anus.

The dog stood close to me, and I couldn't resist inserting the nail when I saw the anus breathing

I still dunno how they manage to get hold of the dog to remove the nail but I received the beating of my life that day....

Puppy wherever you are, I just want to say, IDGAF, Your anus was breathing, it wasn't my fault. But damn! Children mentality sef

ZIINI:
I read a girl's comments now and you will clearly know that her craziness didn't start when she's already a grown up
It started right from her childhood
Anyways keep it up

Highesschief1:
Found a bag of fertilizer a neighbour kept and thought it was sugar so I tasted it and immediately had a nasty cut on my tongue that started bleeding, guess what I did?
I went out to the neigbourhood play ground and yelled out to the other kids that I found a hidden bag of sugar, they all rushed to the place and started scoping handful of the fertilizer into their mouths, a lot of the kids were hospitalized that day.
Thinking about the beating I received that day is making my body pain me now

Moneymagnet24:
How my female house maids and cousins kept fucking my lil dickk

HantaVirus:
So many crazy memories... Was it when my Aunt's friend asked me to finger her wet pussy? I was 11 or so then and boy I was super cute... Or was it when I didn't wanna follow my parents to the UK for holidays when I was 6 years old? I cried all through the flight cos I didn't want to leave my best friend in Nigeria...

Another one was on my 5th birthday and I was just pissed at everyone that day(for no reason), I destroyed my super beautiful cake

federal9:
I was a very loud boy at home, but quiet at school. I was known for making the hell of noise in the compound.

As I grew up, I adjusted and that made me a better person today if not I would be talking at anything that arises even if it isn't my business.

I was also known for fighting. There was a time in my school i hit my class captain on the head, she cried and the whole males in the class descended on me.

I never believed I could take them down. I defeated 17 boys in my class(i love watching snake in the monkey shadow) I mastered the the skills accurately and used the boys in my class as a practical.


The teacher came in and punished all the males except me. The same female class captain reported to the teacher and was crying that they wanted to kill me.

After that incident, I started sitting with her in the class. That was how I changed from being block headed boy to a serious pupil.

Out of 36 pupil, I made 30th position in class, but ever since i started sitting with her, my position changed, I started making 6th position.

KefeeBRIGHT91:
Growing up, i was very stubborn. I hope Pman isn't a Nairalander though...

...so he'll always gets sealed yoghurt for only himself and puts it in the fridge to cool off. I then resolved to using INJECTION to suck my share out of the can, then suck back water into the same orifice left by the needle .
P. S. - i was never caught

CalvinGaye:
I always captured ants,

Sometimes (black and yellow) or same color.

Then I forced them together to fight each other.

Then I'll keep watching them both for fun.

mkoabiola:
Wen i was young.. Less than 10 years..

Na so one aunty carry me go inside room..

I begin finger d aunty... Older than me Sha.

Na so d tin de sweet me.... My dick was small then.. So i don't use dick.

I jus thought it was normal tin.. But wen grew older i wanted to resume d fingering..

Aunty change am for me ooo..
Now married with 5 kids



I de plan to lash d 1st daughter sef....

purples25:
My aunt that wasn't much older than me convinced me to run away with her, and we did. Packed clothes and left the house.

We went far, found an uncompleted building where one worker was so nice to us and even bought us food. It was like an adventure, but we were scared stiff.

When evening came, we realized that our story book adventures were not like real life and started going home. My aunt said i knew stories and i could make up one to save us and if i could open my eyes for long i would start crying and i did.

When we got home the whole neighborhood came out. Everyone was looking for us. They even called the police. I told a big crowd a story that shocked them. Gosh, i was so scared, i did the biggest fraud of my life, invented on the spot.

I was crying profusely and told the crowd we were abducted by some guys at the back of our house. They led us away quietly and later blindfolded us. We were taken to a place that i can't remember cuz of the blindfold. When caged i managed to get one of their guns and point it to them and with the threat we escaped. I found a bush and threw the gun there.

This story was taken high and low, we were taken to the police to file a report. I was taken to the inspector, other high levels of police. I repeated my story without one glitch. My aunt was even like, i didn't give her a hero role in the whole story. I was believed so much, that i was allowed to take a search party into the bush to look for the gun i threw away. The inspector even showed me a gun to weigh. I don't think i was more than eleven or twelve.

People started calling me gun girl. I was ashamed cuz i was sure few knew i had lied. I felt guilt in myself.

It was one day in grandmas car, she asked me, and i told her the truth. This was years after.

She just looked at me and said "You can kill someone o."

Fidelismaria:



^{switching off people's generator and running away.}

angelfallz:
Lol, pls name the girl let me be sure we are on the same page.

Etimnaic:
I was renowned for being a terror as a child.
One Sunday in church, I sneaked out with some of my friends from children church to the pastor's garden where they had fresh pepper ripe and bright red, cos we learnt about the garden of Eden and how fruits were in abundance during Sunday school. I don't know why I didn't know that was pepper, I plucked it and had a bite, Omor my taste buds were volcanized.
I had to be a good friend and told my friends that pastor's garden has fruits we saw from the teaching almanac, that I ate it that it's sweet. That's how my loyal fellow terrorists, plucked the forbidden fruit and l suggested we should eat it at the same time. That's how the adult church heard weepings and screams and rushed out to meet us in the garden.
The fasting mumsi subjected me to on that account eh.
God don forgive me plenty.

Skinkerjnr:
i remember dry humping one babe like dat, my immediate elder bro caught me, i had to promise him my meat for that week before baba tell me poppsy.. �
i also fought with my childhood friend, i beat d guy sote he said i should wait for him let him go nd wear his SEVEN LUCKY KIDS SHOE(a movie in d early 90's)

OMOJOHN001:
Anytime and Anyway I remember this I still cry to God for forgiveness, It all happen when I was 11years old, A neighbour of mine by name Jumoke was 13 years old then, She asked me to lick her Pusszy and I did, I used about hours before stopping, few days later She came and tell me to fucck her, and with my small prick I still do it, but I don't even know the meaning of all what I am doing then Sha, Can't forget it at all. my God forgive me I pray.

ZIINI:
Her stupid moniker starts with Z and ends with r

ComradeShegs:
I was just five, so when school closes, I normally trekked to my mom's shop which wasn't that far from where I school. There was this evening my mom told me she'll be traveling so I assumed it was the next day, so apparently, I had the intention of going home alone after school closes the next day.
Guys, at age 5, I inadvertently went home alone. Took a commercial bus and went home. My house was like 7km from school. Getting home, I met the door locked, so I decided to stay with a friend, we attended same school. I had mad fun that day because it wasn't routine as usual, we played this game at the back of cabin biscuits; can't remember the name, ate their local food(Gwete) Plateau peeps wunna go relate ...
Was catching my cruise when I saw my mom that afternoon with swollen eyes heading towards my direction, the poor woman had obviously cried hell after looking for me for hours. She went to my school and when she ran out of options, she was told to go home, probably I was there already. Home was the last place she had thought I'll be because she never imagined I could go home alone at such tender age.

Legitdimple:
I remember as a child who was so innocent back then,I decided to steal pap from my younger sister's flask who was just a toddler.

Ol boy... As I set mouth to drink the pap,the kind burn wey the pap burn my mouth ehn! Is better imagined... It didn't stop there oh! Because of the shock I mistakenly poured more of it on my hand and I had to keep hiding my hand away from mum's prying eyes(omo that woman na detective) Las,las she catch me sha I still come lie say na baby food I dey make as per sharp barrack pikin if not she for kill me...

Till date I still have that scare as a reminder and did I steal again? Never oh!

Eberex:
Mine was when i was in primary school i think. I probably needed some money to either rent bicycle or whatever i can't remember. Anyway i went to my parent's room and went straight to his small drawer where he keeps money. There is a singke key on the top so i used it on the lock so and opened it, then took out N5. I closed the drawer back and locked it. While trying to lock it back, the key broke inside the keyhole. Kai i haf died!

All through the day i wasn't myself. It got to a point i get scared whenever i heared the sound of a car outside our house. I even wished dad will not come back from work.

Finally papa got back from work. I went out to greet him, and then followed him into his room. He followed his routine and proceeded to open the drawer. He tried to open it but it wasnt opening (he didnt know the key had broken at the keyhole), but he kept trying. Eventually i said in a very scary low voice. "papa, its me...i broke the key".......he was like which key. And then i pointed at the drawer he was tryng to open.

That night i received 6 strokes of the cane even after confessing.

Miraj22:
Anus breathing Hahahahahahaahahahahahahaa there's nothing I won't read here. LMAO!