Kaeboy:
I had to read the whole thread from page one. So funny and interesting

DaddyMorenike:
please, did you attend fgc Ogbomoso?

Wierdceo:


Hahahahaha. U sprayed them devil beans? Ahhhh is God that will hep me to punish u o.......... Lol . Did this happen in Edo or Delta?

Geedy:
In Olamide's voice "melo melo, melo melo mofe wi, melo melo, melo melo mofe so"

Mehn when I looked back at wht I've done as a child n look at d circumstances surrounding me today, I say to myself it's a pay back time.

I'm ds guy with innocent luk, but within me is an abode of d demon.

Shd I talk abt hw I'll shit in a nylon n throw it across to our neighbor's comp, r hw me n my geng will set people's farm ablaze, r hw we'll leave school during teaching period and went to people's farm to pluck oranges, pineapples, cashew even kolanut, I can't tell it all, I did sht as a child.

The one I can still vividly remember was wen I brought my partners in crime to our house. There used to be ds lime tree in front of our house owned by my landlord (ds man a retired teacher then, get craze for head).
We plucked a bucket-full of the lime, dug hole n play snookers with it. Dat was how d man (landlord) caught me d my guys in act, we hd to run n leave evrythin behind. We set out for anoda place, play until d evening, everyone went dere own separate places.
Knowing wht lies ahead of me at home, I hd to sneaked in. Few minutes later food was set, as a family we eat in group.
To cut to the chase, that was how ds man just showed up from no where, alas! I want to run but no other way outta the room.
He held my hand and drag me out of my parents gently. It's obvious my dad wasn't surprised he knows wht I'm capable of.

Here's the funny part:

As d man was dragging me I hd to hold unto a metal which was nailed to the door. He pulled me but he couldn't since he's old. My dad nw told me in my language (Idoma) "byo kankan" meaning hold it very tight, and at d same time told the man in Yoruba "Baba efa daadaa" meaning Baba pull him very well.

He kept repeating d same thing to me n d man vice versa.
As an elderly man he pulled me with all his energy until he wears out.

Then of course he thought of another way by biting my hand off the grip, that was how he finally got me. Out of the trouble I hv let him pass through, he beat the shit outta me. lol.

Wierdceo:
I Love this thread! !!!

Princessbettyj:
Lmao especially that guy that mentioned tan ta lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

pcguru1:
I once cut out newspaper letters to stick them to a paper and constructed a threatening letter out of it, saying we are always watching you to a neighbour. She was phillipines , she thought it was armed robbers and didnt sleep home for days. It was my junior brother that snitched me, when she was discussing it with my mother in the parlour and he overheard it. Funny thing is, i did it because of what I read in a book then "Agent Z". It was one of my crazy pranks. Or I will load the ceiling fans with shoes and object, so when they bring light and turn on the fan, everything will fall on the person. Good times.

Too old for pranks now

Zzor:
no wonder you are so wicked and uncouth,mtchewww

Odunayaw:
We were watching a Philippine movie then and one scene had one of the kids pack his loads to leave the house immediately his mum scolded him.

Barely 3 days later, it was live in my house. Mum had unjustly whacked my head (Mood swings and Women are 5&6). I was so pissed and immediately rushed to pick my bag (mumu me...na even school bag).

I started furiously packing clothes into the bag. Mama was perplexed. Behind me I heard "Where are you taking all this to" and I replied "I am leaving" while muttering under my breath how much she treats me badly.

Long story short, a blinding slap from the back cut short my mutterings. Heck, immediately I lost the strength to remain angry....many many tears.



Never copy movies

Bifrost:


ezigbo idiot ki bu. How could you not know she was being sarcastic?

So, if she asks you to bring something for her and you ask where to put it, and she says "put it on my head" you will put it on her head?

KefeeBRIGHT91:


Growing up, i was very stubborn. I hope Pman isn't a Nairalander though...

...so he'll always gets sealed yoghurt for only himself and puts it in the fridge to cool off. I then resolved to using INJECTION to suck my share out of the can, then suck back water into the same orifice left by the needle .
P. S. - i was never caught

JIMMY1393:


"my porn disc wey I hide inside Agatha Moses Achanchawa disc pack
I can't breath

infinito1990:
We do hear

During one of my days as a teen, my crew and I went fishing at a river. After much struggle, we couldn't catch any so we decided to go swimming. Me wey no sabi swim follow join dem. At first it was fun so we decided to play was it called "Otori"... It's a game where one person will be chasing the others, anyone caught will in turn chase the other.
Naso dis chase me enter where deep. My people I started drowning calling the guy that was chasing me to help me, unknowingly to me my was also struggling with his life. Omo na one of us come rescue me that day.... Marcus God will continue to bless you for me. My people I saw hell that day. After incident I promise myself never to step on a water above 3 foot again

Ekugbeh:
hy girlie

toby2:

your own runs business na from small

OKame:
My father was a disciplinary to the core. I was punished (flogged) for every rule I broke, if not immediately, then when 'my cup became full'. On this fateful day I forget to put off our electric burner and I left for school. Luckily for me there were many power cuts that day so the house did not burn down but the pot of beans I left on the burner got burnt and was pure black.When my dad returned home he perceived the burning smell and asked if I did put off the burner. Guess what, I lied.
The cut the story short, my dad made me eat the burnt beans, allowed me to sleep for two hours, then woke me up..He stripped me naked and told me to lie on the table. He would flog me about 15 strokes and allow me to cry 'rest' for about 10minutes, then I'll climb the table and repeat the whole process again.
I received about 100strokes that day and the scares are still visible on my back till today.
When my mum returned home and saw me, she bursted into tears and a serious quarrel ensued between her and my dad..

Princessbettyj:


For so long I've been waiting o! Waiting on your body and money o Shebi nah song ,we wan sing

Princessbettyj:



For so long I've been waiting o!
Waiting on your body and money o
Shebi nah song ,we wan sing

Royalization:
As funny as it might sound but true. I inserted a six(6) inches nail directly into my dog's anus.

The dog stood close to me, and I couldn't resist inserting the nail when I saw the anus breathing

I still dunno how they manage to get hold of the dog to remove the nail but I received the beating of my life that day....

Puppy wherever you are, I just want to say, IDGAF, Your anus was breathing, it wasn't my fault. But damn! Children mentality sef

Ekugbeh:
lol, how u

KidDarkness:

Come take up the money o!
Pretty baby and me honey o!
Me love you for a very long time!

Obonguyo11:
We had this pit in our compound we put spoilt food and food that remain na.. So that pit attracted flies and flies attracts lizards.. I hate the sights of lizards, they make me lose appetite
So this day I was in the market with my mum
I saw catapult na... Satan was like you could use this catapult to kill those lizards.. and mumu me was like"yeah, that's a great idea.. me that have not use catapult before. I used my last 2h and but it na.. as I reach house I went straight to the pit for sight seeing unto robin hood things na�.. I sighted this unlucky one na.. I set the stuff to shoot.. omo na so I take dislocate my thumb
I shot my own thumb�
My own 2h dislocate my thumb.. my hand was vibrating for like 3mins straight
That week was the worst week of my life
My mummy press my hand like this ehnn
People with igbo mumcies can relate sha��

Anny505:


Here is another crazy shit I did back then, didn't want to share it but I got to.

There was once I and my elder brother fought and he really beat the carp out of me. Being the inquisitive type, I knew were my dad hid his service pistol then ( a Beretta I think). Since our parents weren't around and we had unrestricted access to their room, I went in pull the gun out and went to end it all with my big bro.

Thank God I couldn't pull the trigger because it was fully loaded. My big bro begged me and cried, he promised never to lay his hands on me ever again but I was determined to end it all.

Guess what, my dad only laughed over it when he found out about it.

Princessbettyj:


Very well

NihiIist:
Around 1999. My papa was going out, he gave me money to buy petrol. I lived in a street that was so lit. Lots of girls , game houses, carnivals etc plus it was dominated by youths which made it so fun and engaging. As I was going to buy the petrol I got enticed by a game house. Devil took control over my life and I entered like a zombie. My plan was to just watch a few PS1 games but before I knew it I was already grabbing a pad and playing. (Loser pay) only Konami legends will understand. Na petrol money I dey use o, I played till money remain like 30% before I came back to my senses.Then I bought fuel with the leftover , went home and filled the keg with water. When my papa come, he pour the petrol inside but gen no gree start , e dey knock. (Remember those tiny tiger gen na). Next day he called mechanic na there kasala burst. The beating I received ehn no be matter of belt, koboko or cane o. As in the man dey fight me like say we dey WWE ring. He was so desperate to kill me that day.

Bruno531:
watching pornography movie on our video cassette. mehn NEPA took light, I had to open the video machine. de video cassette no gree comot cum see as break the cassette into pieces

Burna440:
My childhood was fun and I wished I never grew up, there is no crazy or bad play that I did not indulge in..

The one I will never forget;
We had local fowls back then, which they can just stop to lay an egg anywhere, one day Me and my cousin came across one trying to lay, so we were curious to know how it will do it, while watching it the fowl started grunting to push it out, my cousin noticed and shouted kai, the fowl stop, after few minutes the fowl tried again we still shouted and it stopped, we continued like that for like an hour till the fowl could not bare it and just decided to lay it at all cost, when it was grunting and we were shouting it didn’t stop until we noticed d egg was coming out, my cousin bent to pick a stone, on noticing the fowl decided to run at us, Na so e pursue my cousin the guy run enter road machine hit d guy, till today he can’t walk well, he is called fowl leg till today