DimplesLikeWow:
Likewise, my post was directed towards serious couples with the united goal of marriage.

Parents don't encourage their children to live together before marriage. In the Nigerian context alone with the dominant religions of Christianity and Islam, your assertion is false. Cohabitation contradicts the most fundamental doctrines of the Christian faith, thus, I know for sure that practicing Christians are against it. Similarly, in Islam, trial marriage, which is basically what it is, is not permissible. Islam doesn't allow any type of living in or living together before marriage.

keep deceiving yourself....look around you and see the number of singles living together... Christian faith indeed apostle Paul

Godoverevery:

So what do you mean by saying you are different

Tell me when and where I said the bolded.

Anyone who claims to know all by way of science, or religion or otherwise is always wrong . It
May work in several cases but not in all cases .

Cohabitating with your partner is essential if you wish to “ know more “about your partner ( apart from studying them and observing them or talking with people who know them) but again that is not the absolute guarantee to a “better” marriage or non marriage .

Nevertheless it does help to gain Knowledge whether good or bad and “ so therefore “ understanding in the transition to married life or not.

brain54:

wanted to quote that person and reply with your exact answer but didn't want to sound like I was defending you...or trolling you so I ignored.

They will soon call you a **** too

dorin27:
They will soon call you a **** too

like I care what people call me.

Godoverevery:

please can you explain what you think my thread is all about?? because honestly I don't know if my English is that bad to understand.
Do you know there are people who get married without even staying 24hrs under the same roof before.. some religion don't permit it..you spending weekend with him isn't enough..and I don't think is sensible to live with man during dating and courtship the lady most likely will have several abortion....Why do most couple have issues first few months of marriage
cohabiting after engagement is mainly for adjustment to each other life style and way of doing things and understanding the challenges, demand before things start proper my dear.

So indirectly you're telling me I said "yes" to the proposal of a man I don't know If I can live with? And who said living with him while dating would lead to abortions? Tbh cohabiting after engagement is what would likely lead to unplanned pregnancy and maybe abortions sef.


Let's agree to disagree cause debating with someone who has their mind already set on their belief is fruitless.

Samakus:
Cohabiting with my woman before marriage is a MUST!! I don't care what anybody else thinks about it.

I know that I won't know all about her before marriage but I will know much. And she, the same about me.
She must not be the snoring type biko. I value my 4hrs of sleep at night

For you to say you must cohabit with her after engagement means you're saying you don't know enough about that woman before you proposed to her. What, in the first place, was the essence of you dating her? Child's play?

Godoverevery:
check the thread well....my point is intending couples not bf and gf.
once the marriage is set I feel is necessary you live together "6month or 1yr" before you marry each other....is like warm excecise before a football match despite all the training you must excecise few minutes before the main match...you just don't jump on the pitch

To archive what exactly.. I tot the essence is to see if u could accept her flaws and decide if u intend staying or leaving ?
Since u know there's no significant change that can occur as u both have decided to get married whether bad or good why cohabitating for months spending more.

Whether u cohabitate for years.. Guy, with every woman, problem they!

Sixfeetbelle:


For you to say you must cohabit with her after engagement means you're saying you don't know enough about that woman before you proposed to her. What, in the first place, was the essence of you dating her? Child's play?

You cant know a woman enough. Not even in marriage but one must try to know a little. Dating a lady doesn't give you enough time to 'know' her. Having been engaged, staying together makes you guys to understand your flaws better and better manage it.

My point and belief!

JERRY1925:


To archive what exactly.. I tot the essence is to see if u could accept her flaws and decide if u intend staying or leaving ?
Since u know there's no significant change that can occur as u both have decided to get married whether bad or good why cohabitating for months spending more.

Whether u cohabitate for years.. Guy, with every woman, problem they!

If you're afraid of spending more, don't even think of marrying her. The real spending is after marriage

Godoverevery:
I think it should mandatory for intending couples to live together for 6month to 1 year....I will be sharing my own personal experience.
my fiancee have been staying with me for the past 7month we are getting married next year and our parents knows we are staying together.
I must confess is a lot staying with a woman.... Growing up anytime my mum and dad have misunderstanding and she start complaining about things we the children always support my mum but my dad always tell us we will understand things better when we get married...he was always at receiving end of things.
Now i realised what he meant then.
I have learnt a lot within this few months which I will like to share.
1: women will frustrate you but you must be really patience because is just there nature.
2: Money is the only thing that makes them happy...no matter how good you are on bed or how faithful 70% of her happiness is based on money
3: If you don't have money she will disrespect you no that for sure.
4: women are naturally stingy if she is spending her money on grocery or anything in the house she expecting you to pay her back double.
5: she will try to impose her way of doing things on you/try to control you.
6: women are manipulative if you are not careful she will try to drag you to herself and family alone
7: the only powerful weapon women they think they can use to punish you is sex.
8: women expects alot from there man... buying them car,house infact she expects everything to revolve around her.
9: To be honest this sharing of bills thing can't work just save yourself the stress... just no you are carrying 90% of the bills....if she use her money to cook to her she is doing you a favour.
Let me stop here....what I wrote are just my personal experience and what I have heard from married guys.
To be honest no man is complete without a woman infact they are the salt of this world.

So my advise to any man who is planning to marry make sure you live together with her for at least 6 month so you can know the person you're marrying to know if you can handle the pressure and her characters...
Note : As a man if you lack Patience and not able to over look things don't bother marrying ooo.

If you are also staying with you fiancée feel free to add to the list of the things you have learnt.

Guy, you are spot on, 100%. Every single point you listed, from 1-9, played outbbetween

Sawzer:
I've never been in a relationship before but tbh, Nairaland has really made me scared of marriage. Not like I ever fancied it before but..... Chai! And the way nairaland portrays women ehen....

Back to Op, I think you're somehow right with the little I've seen.

What do I know anyway?

if only u bn in a relationship u wud have known

Godoverevery:

so you prefer they cohabit during the bf and gf rather when things are serious....first all before you engage a lady you 80% sure u want to marry so breaking up an engagement must be for a tangible reasons.
Only a lady with bad characters/have secrets will be scared of this....the reason am supporting this is for a man to know what he is getting into.
There are something can only know about each other when you live under same roof eg the type of food she like to eat might not go well with you so during this time you start adapting just to mention a few.

If you must cohabit then, let it be on record there will be no sex what so ever.

I'm tired of seeing ladies cry and regret already

Ugmama:



If you must cohabit then, let it be on record there will be no sex what so ever.

I'm tired of seeing ladies cry and regret already

That the problems we are facing....u ladies make it seems sex is a the thing like ladies don't demand or ask for it ....sex is two people actions hope you know

Godoverevery:
That the problems we are facing....u ladies make it seems sex is a the thing like ladies don't demand or ask for it ....sex is two people actions hope you know

I'm no lady bro.

I just made my point irrespective of gender.

I feel the same way too but trust me, humans do not have sufficient sense to sustain it without gross abuse and as usual, the other gender would be at the receiving end because of their reasoning capacity. Plus, it will break down social order. I still feel, however, that, whoever can sustain it should go ahead. I think Joseph "cohabited" with Mary and still ended up with her. The way we conduct our marriages these days is what is causing failed marriages as the foundation is faulty!

dorin27:
All women/ ladies are not like your babe. You get?

Yup. But 90% of Nigerian women are like his babe!

Interesting

Not necessary

Baba shut up.... If u pray to God and tell God to choose a real wife for you,, baba God go give u instead of you testrunning anoda pesin daughter in the hope of marrying her..... Anything can happen baba...

Just tell God all these things above and there is no need to be fornicating all in the hope of marriage...

STOP FORNICATING!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS A RISK!!!!!!

dorin27:
All women/ ladies are not like your babe. You get?

now that's my babe

Snitch24:


Lmao seriously
Wsh part of the universe do u come come from

Guy..am from Nigeria.

QuintessentialW:


Yup. But 90% of Nigerian women are like his babe!

Are you are telling me indirectly that you have been with 90% of Nigerian women?.

Ezi1993:
It's not mandatory that intending couple should live together... because they aren't married yet..because if they do,, they'll be committing fornication.

Keep quiet �

Weneda:


Keep quiet �

Ok sir!

Ezi1993:

Guy..am from Nigeria.

Bro forget about religion except you're a true man of God na the only thing wey fit make u no taste the food on top fire
I hope u understand

Snitch24:


Bro forget about religion except you're a true man of God na the only thing wey fit make u no taste the food on top fire
I hope u understand

pls am a lady,,,not a guy.

Ezi1993:

pls am a lady,,,not a guy.

I'm sure u don't want to get married to a stranger
Anyways I checked ur profile
U look good
Are u single ?

dorin27:
All women/ ladies are not like your babe. You get?

Shut up there! We are all the same. We are stingy!

arrant rubbish

Babara1994:

Shut up there! We are all the same. We are stingy!

You couldn't make your point without asking me to shut up? Anyway, I forgive you. Btw... If you are stingy, I am not. Get sense

Babara1994:
Shut up there! We are all the same. We are stingy!

you no even be babe...