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Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomanceAdvise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma (3019 Views)

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Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Nobody: 6:25am On Dec 06, 2020
21cents:
Whatever my sister sows she reaps. Do I feel sorry for her? maybe, but I'm not too bothered.
I get that people are supposed to face the consequences of their actions, but if someone wants to help save them, it's fine. They should go ahead, if they think they can do it.

As someone who has interacted with rape victims and still has them as friends, those people go through a lot. Some become loosed after their experience and sleep with whatever they see, but some lock up. It just depends on how each person handles pain.

I get that 35 is a super high body account. Even 10. But men are marrying girls with higher body counts and they're not complaining. If it's something the guy can do, he should go ahead. If he can't, he should walk away. That's it.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Thesole(m): 6:28am On Dec 06, 2020
emitheo:
Alright guys, I never for once thought I would come across this in my life.

I met this girl through an online dating app. We chatted, and later exchanged numbers.

Later, we started talking on phone. We vibed along very well. She was a good conversationist and all.
Fast forward to 3 days later, we met in my apartment. We gisted and shared/opened up about the pasts.

Then the shocker revelation; Babe told me she was raped thrice or so.
After that, she became traumatized psychologically and couldn't help but started sleeping with guys. It was like, she lost her senses.

Now, guys unfortunately... Her body count is up to 35. She has since stopped and moved on from that lifestyle.

But I lost words. She is feeling unloved and unwanted now.
Guys, I like this girl so much but.... I am now even more confused.
Constructive advise needed. What do I do?

Everyone deserves to be loved nah.
women are like swimming pool, if you really like her then Don't bother about who swam before you.. just enjoy swimming.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by GodWrites: 7:09am On Dec 06, 2020
If you're not a therapist, you better run from this Jezebel that's about to use your brain..
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Nobody: 7:51am On Dec 06, 2020
Thattallgirl:
If you're ready to take on that burden of giving her that love she desires without judging her past then go ahead. It won't be easy though. She may feel tempted to go back but you just have to stand by her. Relationship is based on commitment. I don't think a lady would lie to you that her body counts is 35. Think about it

If she's worth the sacrifice, please stay with her. She still needs to heal.
She needs to heal on her own.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Nobody: 7:54am On Dec 06, 2020
KimberlyWest:
I tell you. Seeing all their comments, I'm seriously disappointed. This is the worst place for one to bring his or her relationship issues. Kids have taken over Nairaland. They don't know what relationship means, and they've never been in one. Except their "ota akara" secondary school relationship.
She needs to heal, tinder won't solve her problem. If she was serious about that, tinder is the last place for her to be. But then again true maybe OP can be the one to make her happy.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Nobody: 8:04am On Dec 06, 2020
pcguru1:
She needs to heal, tinder won't solve her problem. If she was serious about that, tinder is the last place for her to be. But then again true maybe OP can be the one to make her happy.
grin The OP didn't say tinder. There are other dating apps in Nigeria.

You're right. He might be one to make her happy. He already said he loves her. He should help her heal, if he thinks he can.

Again, I feel like she already started healing process because he mentioned that she told him she's moved on from that life.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by MISSCONGENIALITY(f): 8:21am On Dec 06, 2020
Are you confused because you love her and want to be with her or you are confused because you thought she was a virgin?
Now my advice to you is, if you love her and you are ready to keep a woman, you must not look at how many men she has slept with in the past. Look at how well she has changed or how good she has become. But if you are just looking for someone to add your your own body count, leave na you know how you want do am.
No be one is a saint. Even guys with 150 body counts still settle for one woman when they are struck by Cupid's arrow.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Twizzy30(m): 8:47am On Dec 06, 2020
pcguru1:
She needs to heal, tinder won't solve her problem. If she was serious about that, tinder is the last place for her to be. But then again true maybe OP can be the one to make her happy.
That girl was on tinder for hookup. You should hop on dating apps in Nigeria, they serve as hookup platforms. That girl is just tryin to play a fast one on op.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 8:54am On Dec 06, 2020
Vikkoh:
angry

Love her, pet her, marry her angry .
Weeks from now I pray you don't come back to tell us how you saw her sex-themed conversations with your next-door neighbor.
Okafor's Law of Smartness (P.41 2001) states that; ONCE SHE LOOSES CONTROL OF HER HORMONES AFTER AN ABUSE CAUSED BY A HEARTLESS PREEK MAN angry , THERE'D BE A POSSIBILITY THAT SHE IS A NYMPHO, hence, HARD TO SATISFY.


NAIRA MARLEY'S Law of Time bodly states; SHE IS NOT, I REPEAT NOT, YOUR GIRLFRIEND IT'S JUST YOUR TURN .


You're lucky to have seen the handwriting on the wall, thank your GOD.
Now, I mean NOW,

RUN! RUN!! RUNNNNN!! away from HER!!
NO say I no tell you.
There are a million of fishes in the Sea. You deserve better.
Cheers.
Thanks bro for your input.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by XXXXTENTACION: 8:59am On Dec 06, 2020
KimberlyWest:
I tell you. Seeing all their comments, I'm seriously disappointed. This is the worst place for one to bring his or her relationship issues. Kids have taken over Nairaland. They don't know what relationship means, and they've never been in one. Except their "ota akara" secondary school relationship.
Even the mods are not helping matters at all. They just allow these guys to be doing rubbish.

to me coming to nairaland to seek for advice from guys like this is just like asking a virgin to teach you how to fu€k undecided
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by MedicH: 8:59am On Dec 06, 2020
Vikkoh:
angry

Love her, pet her, marry her angry .
Weeks from now I pray you don't come back to tell us how you saw her sex-themed conversations with your next-door neighbor.
Okafor's Law of Smartness (P.41 2001) states that; ONCE SHE LOOSES CONTROL OF HER HORMONES AFTER AN ABUSE CAUSED BY A HEARTLESS PREEK MAN angry , THERE'D BE A POSSIBILITY THAT SHE IS A NYMPHO, hence, HARD TO SATISFY.

NAIRA MARLEY'S Law of Time bodly states; SHE IS NOT, I REPEAT NOT, YOUR GIRLFRIEND IT'S JUST YOUR TURN .


You're lucky to have seen the handwriting on the wall, thank your GOD.
Now, I mean NOW,

RUN! RUN!! RUNNNNN!! away from HER!!
NO say I no tell you.
There are a million of fishes in the Sea. You deserve better.
Cheers.
You forgot gospel of the future chapter 1 vs 1-2

Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:07am On Dec 06, 2020
XXXXTENTACION:
Bunch of bad advisers just full this forum as swear. undecided


nobody is a saint. Just learn to love people for who they are.


no woman is perfect if you are waiting for a perfect woman you go wait tire.

i
Na wa
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:12am On Dec 06, 2020
MISSCONGENIALITY:
Are you confused because you love her and want to be with her or you are confused because you thought she was a virgin?
Now my advice to you is, if you love her and you are ready to keep a woman, you must not look at how many men she has slept with in the past. Look at how well she has changed or how good she has become. But if you are just looking for someone to add your your own body count, leave na you know how you want do am.
No be one is a saint. Even guys with 150 body counts still settle for one woman when they are struck by Cupid's arrow.
I'm confused because I want to be with her...
Alright. I will have to find out if she has really changed or how good she has become then.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Jessepaid(m): 9:14am On Dec 06, 2020
Sorry for this insensitive comment

But who gets raped thrice?

Bro it's just a sob story..

Don't commit to her
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:14am On Dec 06, 2020
pcguru1:
She needs to heal on her own.
Can someone heal on their own without external help?
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by MISSCONGENIALITY(f): 9:15am On Dec 06, 2020
emitheo:
I'm confused because I want to be with her...
Alright. I will have to find out if she has really changed or how good she has become then.
If she's really changed them you should help her stay changed. Everyone one out there have a past and not all are willing to share it. It's better to marry someone with many body counts who has changed than marry a virgin will will turn into a distributor right under your roof.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:15am On Dec 06, 2020
Jessepaid:
Sorry for this insensitive comment

But who gets raped thrice?

Bro it's just a sob story..

Don't commit to her
No offence taken
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:16am On Dec 06, 2020
pcguru1:
She needs to heal, tinder won't solve her problem. If she was serious about that, tinder is the last place for her to be. But then again true maybe OP can be the one to make her happy.
She was only on the dating app to look for relationship.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:16am On Dec 06, 2020
GodWrites:
If you're not a therapist, you better run from this Jezebel that's about to use your brain..
Geez...
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:17am On Dec 06, 2020
Thesole:
women are like swimming pool, if you really like her then Don't bother about who swam before you.. just enjoy swimming.
Lol... This one ehnnn
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:22am On Dec 06, 2020
Silentgroper:
d hook up babe wants to play a fast one on u.
This doesn't feels like a fast one... huh
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:23am On Dec 06, 2020
pcguru1:
if you are not equipped to deal with her issue, you will be unnecessarily emotionally attached and burdened by her issues. best to cut off now, as there is no emotional investment. She needs therapy not a relationship
Ohh... I think I may not really be equipped then. undecided
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Nobody: 9:24am On Dec 06, 2020
emitheo:
Can someone heal on their own without external help?
Qualified external help which you are not, however if you are decent person, you can help her, just be careful, don't rush into dating her, she could be playing mind games or she could be sincere. We are not saints we all have our demons and pasts. Even I talking with you, just that as a man, we are very comfy with keeping demons and skeletons locked but I'm not an hypocrite so I won't judge for body count as long as she is a sincere person, I've seen people with less body count cheat easily or behave badly. All na about what she wants in life and if she is truly trying to working to move on. Just don't be blinded is all ill say after all there are so much ladies without trauma you can be dating if she is not sincere. I'm a pessimist so I see everyone in a bad light until proven otherwise. Happy Sunday.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:24am On Dec 06, 2020
anthonyuncle:
are u encouraging us to cajole u into loving a LovePeddler?

if u love her, go ahead then.

i need to go another round immediately
Lol...easy there
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:25am On Dec 06, 2020
kunkelhanspeter:
This body count of a thing is it
One guy having sęx with you 35 different times
Or
Lady who have slept 35 time with different guys?
Slept with 35 different men
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by emitheo(op): 9:26am On Dec 06, 2020
21cents:
The redpill taught us men to never save any damaged girl no matter what. do no save her. I repeat, do not attempt to save a damaged girl.

if she ain't a virgin, she's a used pusscy already.

Flee mothafvker, Fleeeee!
So, this means what is damaged should be left damaged?
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by ProphetM0hammad: 9:30am On Dec 06, 2020
emitheo:
Alright guys, I never for once thought I would come across this in my life.

I met this girl through an online dating app. We chatted, and later exchanged numbers.

Later, we started talking on phone. We vibed along very well. She was a good conversationist and all.
Fast forward to 3 days later, we met in my apartment. We gisted and shared/opened up about the pasts.

Then the shocker revelation; Babe told me she was raped thrice or so.
After that, she became traumatized psychologically and couldn't help but started sleeping with guys. It was like, she lost her senses.

Now, guys unfortunately... Her body count is up to 35. She has since stopped and moved on from that lifestyle.

But I lost words. She is feeling unloved and unwanted now.
Guys, I like this girl so much but.... I am now even more confused.
Constructive advise needed. What do I do?

Everyone deserves to be loved nah.
You are her savior, since you are here now, she will stop sleeping around.
Love her
Spend on her
Be committed to her.
Spend less time with your work and always stay with her.
I can sense that she's your Soulmate.
But most importantly, send her to Germany for her Master Degree. Then you two can get married and live happily ever after. It happens all the time.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by Nobody: 9:30am On Dec 06, 2020
emitheo:
Ohh... I think I may not really be equipped then. undecided
Just be friends , advise and be there for her, naturally she will draw towards you however you're more likely to be played if she is not sincere which is why I said don't rush to date.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by anochuko01(m): 9:47am On Dec 06, 2020
You can show her Love without dating and sexualizing it. Most importantly, Na only God fit reason this kind matter. So my concern is if you have the emotional and spiritual strength to fight this her battle with her
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by halogate: 10:08am On Dec 06, 2020
Jessepaid:
Sorry for this insensitive comment

But who gets raped thrice?

Bro it's just a sob story..

Don't commit to her
.. honestly, I tempted to agree with u.
..iv read such stories/formats like this many times.
..who tells their whole life story to a stranger after just 3days??...if not to whip up sympathy??
..the OP better wise up.,
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by ennyj01(m): 10:12am On Dec 06, 2020
To be sincere OP, girls like that hardly change.
Once you meet a lady in a dating site, 8 out of 10 were there initially for hookup and even those that came to sell goods are also there for hookup, they just use the goods as a cover up (reason I said so is because I have been in the hookup game for long, just stopped before Corona issue). Even those that say on their profile "NO HOOK UP", it is a lie. They just need a better offer before they show you their real self. They just display the no hookup tag in case someone they know comes in contact with their profile.


I have been in a situation like yours before, in fact twice. The first lady was raped and the second one was not raped.


When they tell you they have changed, most times it is a lie and you will suffer if you love with your heart at the beginning.


During my own time, my ex found it hard keeping attention on only me. She was always sharing attention with other guys she have had something to do with in the past (most ladies here saying you should give her second chance are just biased).


When we have a little argument, she runs to those guys to share the argument with.


Imagine a lady telling you she loves you and she is following one of her Bleep mate in the past to be discussing penis and telling him that penis will make her mad right now (reason I believe the Okafor's theory). Most girls on this thread will wanna lie, but trust me Okafor's law will work in 7 out of10 girls you meet.


Imagine a lady you are dating entertaining visits from Tinder, going on late night date with people she met on tinder. It will get to a stage of you tell her to leave the dating app, she will change it for you by telling you that you met her there and now you want her to leave it. And trust me, if there is something girls are good at, it is shifting the blames. I won't ask you not to date her, but I beg you to make a proper findings before doing anything.


It will take the grace of God to heal a damaged girl and if you are not lucky, she will pull you into her web and leave you.


She said she has changed right?!
Let me give you one task, when next you guys meet, ask for her phone and check her inbox in the dating app you met her (you will definitely get the shocker of your life).


You can also go to her whatsApp and search some key words and look for the recent ones, don't be surprised if she is already entertaining rubbish or might have done rubbish now that you guys are talking.
Re: Advise Needed: I'm In A Dilemma by gbowoade85142: 10:14am On Dec 06, 2020
:are u encouraging us to cajole u into loving a LovePeddler?if u love her, go ahead then.i need to go another round immediatelyLol...easy there
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