Sixfeetbelle:


It's not the same thing, please. Some only sons don't have that clingy closeness with their family members while some do. We understand that they're the only hope for their family but as he now has his own little family, they should make boundaries and stick to it.

As my brother is now, I can't just pack my bags and arrive uninvited at his house. It's his house, yes, and if I come without telling him, he'll accept me, but I won't do it. Same to every member of our family, including my mother. That is a boundary and we respect it. Some families don't have that clear boundary and that's where issues start.

This is what I've been trying to explain to lefulefu. But I believe he's deliberately playing to the gallery. Many Nigerian parents and family members don't even know what boundaries means let alone respect it.

And that has been the Genesis of most crisis in marriages, cos many women and men wouldn't tolerate such.

Mobog:

God bless you for the wonderful comment sir... infact I love you!

I'm a female not male

XXXXTENTACION:
I don't know the type of family you come from but what i do know is as a family they should be this love, care and closeness that should exits between family members.


just because your brother is married does'nt mean that you should cut off totally from him. After all he is your brother whatever affects him will indirectly touch you. what's the point of being family if you guys can't look out for each other

So because you love your brother, you'd move into his house without telling him? Or show up at his house whenever you feel like it? Please, I don't love my brother like that. If the way you show love to your family is to suffocate them, please be my guest.

Our love starts where the boundary ends. We call him periodically to check up on him and his family. We put him in our prayers and wish him well. If we want, we can tell him we want to visit and he allows it. If he isn't financially buoyant to cover our expenses for the visit, he asks to reschedule and we do so. We respect his wishes cause he's a man now, not a boy that needs monitoring.

This post was about an only child...but, it's okay. This is NL!

lefulefu:
any woman who frowns at you when you have a good connection with your mom or parents is not a good woman

Not when your parents are toxic.

Sixfeetbelle:


So because you love your brother, you'd move into his house without telling him? Or show up at his house whenever you feel like it? Please, I don't love my brother like that. If the way you show love to your family is to suffocate them, please be my guest.

Our love starts where the boundary ends. We call him periodically to check up on him and his family. We put him in our prayers and wish him well. If we want, we can tell him we want to visit and he allows it. If he isn't financially buoyant to cover our expenses for the visit, he asks to reschedule and we do so. We respect his wishes cause he's a man now, not a boy that needs monitoring.

exactly what am thinking but sorry bro i did'nt get your points clearly but the way you arranged your points make it look as if once your brother gets married you should treat him like an outcast, excommunicate him and don't have anything to do with him.

Tracyp007:


No my guy is the only child I'm talking about my mum in law younger sister

na wao
anyway i guess a lot of folks in naija are just too damm idle and thats why they have all the time in the world to be poking into other ppl"s marriage

naijadrivablog:


Not when your parents are toxic.

wen if the parents are toxic they wont have a healthy relationship with their child in the first place.i guess a toxic mother all she would be doing is picking quarrels wit the son or trying to cause a rift in his marriage.if u unfortunate to have such a mom u just silently dissociate urself from her.but if its a healthy relationship i dont see why the wife would just start getting angry without any good reason

XXXXTENTACION:
exactly what am thinking but sorry bro i did'nt get your points clearly but the way you arranged your points make it look as if once your brother gets married you should treat him like an outcast, excommunicate him and don't have anything to do with him.

Okay, no. I get you now.

I will never support excommunication whether by his family or by the man himself. Family is what makes us. We should never neglect them

Sixfeetbelle:


Na you dey talk that one.

For a lady who knows she can't cope if the mother in law is too clingy, it's best she stays away from such a guy than to marry him and be causing problems for everyone.

I sha told myself a long time ago, if the mother-in-law to-be doesn't like me for her son, no amount of love will make me marry him. Cause men are fond of saying "It's you I love. Nobody will come between us", only to leave you and side with their mothers when the koko starts.

You just crack me Sha
No bi small "it's you l love" I de sweet girls well well

But on a serious note. The thoery is over exaggerated. Only few men do that and was brought up that way. When you have a man's mumu bottom. Forget those things except you as a lady has your own weaknesses. We saw that with Toto Dike.

Am the only son and my mum want to be controlling my life but I never gave her a chance. I have made it clear to her that she should stay off my private life but she keep poking nose

Zzor:
Nothing childish here,what I see sitting down as a lady, you can't see it on top of the highest mountain as a man

I pray your son wouldn't grow clinched to you.

It's usually easier to lash people on issues, that we don't concern us..

Zzor:
I will advise all ladies to do away with men who are too clingy to their mum, all those mummy's boy type, your home will be run by someone else and not you.

seem you a bad person yaself.

lefulefu:
wen if the parents are toxic they wont have a healthy relationship with their child in the first place.i guess a toxic mother all she would be doing is picking quarrels wit the son or trying to cause a rift in his marriage.if u unfortunate to have such a mom u just silently dissociate urself from her.but if its a healthy relationship i dont see why the wife would just start getting angry without any good reason

You are right. I like the fact that you said @bolded

Sixfeetbelle:


Okay, no. I get you now.

I will never support excommunication whether by his family or by the man himself. Family is what makes us. We should never neglect them

yeah bro what's the point of being family if you can't care for each other. But in as much as they would be love and care between family members they should also be respect and this is where the points you raised come into place.

Olayinka777:
Oga no be childish talk. She sabi wetin she dey yarn.

and I sabi wetin I dey talk

Uzomacharles:


and I sabi wetin I dey talk

I hear u

Most Ladies and their level of reasoning, hmm!

Tufiakwa.
African men and their misconceptions about their mother.
Your mother is your fathers wise .
Your own wife should be your Top priority.
That doesn’t mean you won’t take care of your mother.
How we feel we owe our parents that part of our life is disappointing.
Why will they even interfere at all in my marriage �
My Mother that likes to maintain her lane.she can only Advise you. But not pressure you to succumb to her own advocate.
Mummy’s boys are time bomb joor .

Olisehinnocent:
Am the only son and my mum want to be controlling my life but I never gave her a chance. I have made it clear to her that she should stay off my private life but she keep poking nose

Olisehinnocent:
Am the only son and my mum want to be controlling my life but I never gave her a chance. I have made it clear to her that she should stay off my private life but she keep poking nose

Kobicove:


Is that what you think?

You will become a mother soon.I hope u will practice wat u preach when it comes to ur children

Zzor:
I will advise all ladies to do away with men who are too clingy to their mum, all those mummy's boy type, your home will be run by someone else and not you.

The problem with u is that u have short or close range thinking.Wat if when u get married and have only one child will you come here to post this rubbish if people runaway from ur only child cos of his/her predicament?

Ritapearlydove:


Go girl!

And ur first son and daughter will never get married.Amenn

zimdante:


You are wise and experienced

When ur children grow and marry may they permanently abandon you.Amenn

[quote author=modsAREuselesss post=96796485]show the ladies you are advicing your husband first na[/quote
U dey mind d bitch.

Olayinka777:

Hmmm hmmm I am sorry for u!
By the time his mom dictate to him on the type of style he should use for u etc your eye go clear.

One day u will become a mum.Hope u will practice wat u preach.Also remember,once u point a finger at someone,remember that 3 fingers are pointing back at u.As u descriminate against others,so shall people descriminate against u.

jaxxy:

What does a lady see?

Menstrual blood.

Olisehinnocent:
Am the only son and my mum want to be controlling my life but I never gave her a chance. I have made it clear to her that she should stay off my private life but she keep poking nose

I can relate bro

Verysmart101:

One day u will become a mum.Hope u will practice wat u preach.Also remember,once u point a finger at someone,remember that 3 fingers are pointing back at u.As u descriminate against others,so shall people descriminate against u.

I am a man

CalliDora1:
Yes. Why not?

I really don't care how close he is to the mum. with time, he'll outgrow all that mummy's boy and get closer to me. So??

Am even afraid of marrying someone who is the eldest in her family . I am scared

Zzor:
Nothing childish here,what I see sitting down as a lady, you can't see it on top of the highest mountain as a man

Another talk that sounds childish

Verysmart101:

When ur children grow and marry may they permanently abandon you.Amenn

You should rather pray for wisdom, may God give you a better understanding , Amen.