₦airaland Forum

Gamesmart:
When you finally divorce, you know no one will want you that is why you are panicking and trying to promote marriage because "he must not leave you".

Calm down! Nothing is wrong with being alone. Don't be so afraid.

God forbid. As a matter of fact, my marriage will last for ever in Jesus name (If Jesus tarries). We are complete in Christ who is the head of all principalities.

KossyKiss97:
Mr Divorcee. Its now obvious why you are ranting all over social media. Perhaps if you had devoted just a quota of the time you spend here to making your marriage work, your wife would not have left your miserable self.

Make sure you work your next marriage out, because marriage is not a bed of roses. To build a successful empire, business, and even marriage, you must put in effort.

Omo, you no be rose and no matter the effort you put, na rapid decline in looks (from an already low level) you go face. So you know your husband is gbenshing and will gbensh outside.

Just don't let your ego be high.

Give him and space and freedom to gbensh the oloshos outside wey carry serious package and he might think you are not that much of a bad deal to stay with as long as you keep the home steady.

Just beg him not to make your children have step-siblings with a woman that will give you wahala.

You have no option. The alternative na old age with love from your kids while you are alone.

Gamesmart:
Omo, you no be rose and no matter the effort you put, na rapid decline in looks (from an already low level) you go face. So you know your husband is gbenshing and will gbensh outside.

Just don't let your ego be high.

Give him and space and freedom to gbensh the oloshos outside wey carry serious package and he might think you are not that much of a bad deal to stay with as long as you keep the home steady.

Just beg him not to make your children have step-siblings with a woman that will give you wahala.

You have no option. The alternative na old age with love from your kids while you are alone.

To the glory of God, I am married to one of the very few responsible and godly men around this side of heaven. So nothing to worry about at all.

When your spouse has the fear of God, then you are on your way to blissful matrimony.

KossyKiss97:
Eyah!!! The story of your life is what you just told us. Now we know why your marriage CRASHED!!!

Anyway, like I mentioned earlier, these habits that destroyed your previous marriage, ensure you dont take them into your new one. That's if at all you have plans to, because I am too convinced with these attitudes and habits of yours, you can ever have a successful marriage.
Not in your life! Marriage for you will continue to be a MONUMENTAL FAILURE!

Aunty, you marriage is doomed from the beginning.

I know it! You know it! You are just full of self-deceit and you are living on thin hopes.

You know it is inevitable the man go dey smash outside, you have to accept it. There is nothing you can do about it.

Not accepting it is the beginning of the end, and you will just end up bitter and alone, darling.

Gamesmart:
Aunty, you marriage is doomed from the beginning.

I know it! You know it! You are just full of self-deceit and you are living on thin hopes.

You know it is inevitable the man go dey smash outside, you have to accept it. There is nothing you can do about it.

Not accepting it is the beginning of the end, and you will just end up bitter and alone, darling.

On the contrary, my marriage is sealed and tight proof by the blood of Jesus. Our lives are hid with God in Christ Jesus. It will last for a verrry long time till Jesus comes, in bliss, sweetness and absolute success.

Every tongue that rises up against me is condemned in Jesus name. AMEN

emkz:
I regretted mine, not necessarily for what she did but for my inability to follow my instincts about her which could have prevented the calamity. We were not married but things had been done towards that like introduction and trad before kasala burst. I was happy kasala burst before we went farther.

For anyone who wants to get married, by all means do so...but marry for the right reasons. You first need to understand yourself and your own limitations. If your aim is to have children, perhaps a contractual arrangement suffices. Unfortunately, many marriages today are not different from service contracts: I will provide shelter, food and security while you provide pussy when I want it and how I want it, and you must not provide it to someone else. Or I am marrying you because society expects and would respect me to be married as it shows I am responsible.

The Dutch Prime Minister is single.

Or I'd marry you only because I love you. These are wrong reasons to be married. For a potential spouse, look at compatibility, companionship, communication, character and charisma. Exude these qualities yourself and you shall find it in your potential partner. Love will fade, the butterflies in your stomach shall die, your partner shall irritate you, what then would hold your marriage?

The stories of wayward men and women are told everyday on this forum. Don't let them deter you. There are very good men and women from very good homes who are responsible to be wifed or husbanded. I know this because all my sisters have been married for years and no one has come to report that they have issues with them.

Don't go looking for a wife. Develop yourself and have the values of someone husbandable, creation will link you to your spouse.

In closing, my question to you is:

Why exactly do you want to get married? Are you truly convinced of the answer you give yourself?

perfect

BigDawsNet:
My people dint regret

So I won't too

Tho I'm about settling with a white lady

I'm sure she has sisters bro
I'm game
Lol

tonididdy:
My gf is originally 80% boring.
I always have to push to start a conversation or a joke.
At this point, I am almost run out on efforts.



... Me I can't marry oh.

Mine was like that.
But, She wan kill me with gist nowadays.

SHE'S READING THIS.

you need to Teach, endure with, compromise.

EVERYONE should have passion. workout, gym, history, artistry, craft, stories, public speaking, etc.

Mention any aircraft (military or civilian), I've a friend that can tell you details about it.

Make her to build hers. then she can always relate instances with that.

Depends if her other qualities will encourage all these.

Girls can be sweet.

Meet the right ones.

Gamesmart:
This is a stupid analogy.

There is no option not to be alive or not to be a Nigerian from the start.

There is an option not to marry from the start.

"Stupid analogy", only to a stupid minded one.

braine:
This is the best advice I've ever read on this topic.

More wisdom to you sir.

God bless you!

Berankis:
"Stupid analogy", only to a stupid minded one.

Foolish people don't know how to utilise analogies.

.

Gamesmart:
Madam, stop panicking, face reality and stop telling lies.

Marriage na failed arrangement.

Don't go into it because you are terrified of not being wanted and ending up alone as you grow old.

On the contrary, my marriage is sealed and tight proof by the blood of Jesus. Our lives are hid with God in Christ Jesus. It will last for a verrry long time till Jesus comes, in bliss, sweetness and absolute success.

Every tongue that rises up against me is condemned in Jesus name. AMEN

KossyKiss97:
On the contrary, my marriage is sealed and tight proof by the blood of Jesus. Our lives are hid with God in Christ Jesus. It will last for a verrry long time till Jesus comes, in bliss, sweetness and absolute success.

Every tongue that rises up against me is condemned in Jesus name. AMEN

Dey foool yourself!

Na only you don profess Jesus name before?

Sex between you two has definitely declined or is almost none existent. He don see you finish, he is not attracted to the same eba everyday anymore. He wants fried rice and tuwo shikafa for a change for God sake.

Fresh ones at that.

Why will any sane man with prospects want to be sexing a woman in her late 30s that he has been gbenshing for almost a decade and bodi don go, when he can have some early 20s girl with UCL bodi that will wear some tight fitting outfit and look delicious?

Give the poor guy your approval jor. He deserves it if you really love him and care about his happiness.

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE! Give your man back his happiness.

Gamesmart:
Dey foool yourself!

Na only you don profess Jesus name before?

Sex between you two has definitely declined or is almost none existent. He don see you finish, he is not attracted to the same eba everyday anymore. He wants fried rice and tuwo shikafa for a change for God sake.

Fresh ones at that.

Why will any sane man with prospects want to be sexing a woman in her late 30s that he has been gbenshing for almost a decade and bodi don go, when he can have some early 20s girl with UCL bodi that will wear some tight fitting outfit and look delicious?

Give the poor guy your approval jor. He deserves it if you really love him and care about his happiness.

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE! Give your man back his happiness.

The wicked runs when no man pursueth him

KossyKiss97:
The wicked runs when no man pursueth him

That is religious jargon.

In business, they call it: Flight for quality!

Gamesmart:
That is religious jargon.

In business, they call it: Flight for quality!

Keep running. No peace for the wicked

Gamesmart:
That is religious jargon.

In business, they call it: Flight for quality!

I am using this opportunity to invite you for Shiloh 2020. Its going to be an awesome experience in God's presence. Please visit any Winners chapel at 7pm tomorrow, or you can connect online.

God bless you as you come

emkz:
I regretted mine, not necessarily for what she did but for my inability to follow my instincts about her which could have prevented the calamity. We were not married but things had been done towards that like introduction and trad before kasala burst. I was happy kasala burst before we went farther.

For anyone who wants to get married, by all means do so...but marry for the right reasons. You first need to understand yourself and your own limitations. If your aim is to have children, perhaps a contractual arrangement suffices. Unfortunately, many marriages today are not different from service contracts: I will provide shelter, food and security while you provide pussy when I want it and how I want it, and you must not provide it to someone else. Or I am marrying you because society expects and would respect me to be married as it shows I am responsible.

The Dutch Prime Minister is single.

Or I'd marry you only because I love you. These are wrong reasons to be married. For a potential spouse, look at compatibility, companionship, communication, character and charisma. Exude these qualities yourself and you shall find it in your potential partner. Love will fade, the butterflies in your stomach shall die, your partner shall irritate you, what then would hold your marriage?

The stories of wayward men and women are told everyday on this forum. Don't let them deter you. There are very good men and women from very good homes who are responsible to be wifed or husbanded. I know this because all my sisters have been married for years and no one has come to report that they have issues with them.

Don't go looking for a wife. Develop yourself and have the values of someone husbandable, creation will link you to your spouse.

In closing, my question to you is:

Why exactly do you want to get married? Are you truly convinced of the answer you give yourself?

I doff my hat for you.

Well said.

Missssii:
1. Marry a good hearted person.
2. Be a good husband. Don’t do to her what you wouldn’t want her to do to you.
3. Have some savings that can sufficiently take care of a family. Financial issues can ruin the best of people.
4. Do not have children for at least, the first year of marriage. Use that time to understand your partner and form a bond.
5. Do not have relatives or friends live with you for the first year of marriage. Visits shouldn’t be more than 3 days. Nosy family and friends are the number one cause of issues in young marriages.
6. Let God lead in all you do. As the head of the home, it is important you have a direct bond with God because even the Bible says the husband is the head of the home and the blessings flow from the husband to the wife. That’s why he opens his head in prayers while she covers her own. If the head is weak, the body is open to all sorts of attacks.
7. Do not start things you cannot finish. If you’re the type that doesn’t believe in cooking or cleaning, let her know during courtship so you both can plan your responsibilities. You cannot be Tony Umez in courtship then turn into Pete Edochie during marriage. It is a sure way to kill whatever love may exist between the two of you.
8. Avoid unnecessary interference from family, friends and most especially, religious people. Do what works for you both no matter how unconventional it may seem to others.
9. Be patient and honest but do not enable misbehavior in any form. In a calm and firm manner, let your partner know what they did to offend you and sort out all issues to avoid any form of lingering resentment.
10. Enjoy yourselves. Go on dates, knack in the sitting room, kitchen etc. You both are now one before God and should explore your bodies and minds to the fullest.

That’s all I know.

Wise sayings....

foreveryoung1515:
Marry your friend. that's what I didn't do and I do regret it over and over again.

I salute you for being honest and pray your marriage turns back well.

Yaks02:
I'm sure she has sisters bro
I'm game
Lol

What kind of game?

Ps5?


I would hav help connect her sis to you... But she won't like the idea of long-distance

Ghostmode2two:
There is no perfect marriage and you shouldn't be scared of going into marriage. Just put it in your heart that nobody is perfect and anything can happen so you won't be disappointed and heart broken should the worst scenario happen. I have been married for over 17 years now, just this year my wife exhibited something tilting towards cheating, I called and told her that I didn't say she should not have sex outside but she should not do it under my roof, that if she finds a man she love more than me and she is ready to marry such a man, she should tell me and I will divorce her so she can marry whoever she want. Later she called me, saying she have a confession to make, I told her I am not interested in her confession because I am not God. If she has done something bad that warrants confession, she should confess to her God as she seems a Christian. Till date she is afraid of me, she told me she explained everything to someone outside and the person told her that I have very strong policies. I also told her that I don't trust her anymore also told her that whenever I get her caught in any funny situation as regards cheating, I will not be surprise at all!

You are indeed a strong and disciplined man.

onlinestaff2020:
Hello Nairalanders,

This post is actually coming at the right time. Marriage has really been a pain in the ass for me.

My madam has been giving me headache for more than 13 years and even up till now.

Can you believe that because of my work and cost of transport which I spend close to N1500, I have decided to stay at my working place for sometime and go back home during the weekends.

Last week when I was around, my wife has been brooding and she told me nothing is the matter with her after I tried to prompt her.

Fast forward to today, after some days, she called me and started calling me names that I have not changed that I have a wife and daughter outside. This is totally unfounded.

Me that have not slept and have been sleeping in the ICT room on bare floor, just because of transport matter, is being accused wrongly.

I felt seriously bad.

Marriage is indeed a scam.

It's better to remain single, have a child/children from a baby mamma and move on freely without a baggage called a wife.

A woman is a man's worst nightmare.

They can kill joy.

No insults Sir.

From what you just wrote, I can deduce that your wife is not the problem, you actually are.

Why did you get married when you are not financially capable/ready?

You caused whatever you are going through; please leave the innocent woman out of it.

funny ppsts

fireprince14:
I think the reason why marriage is so messed up nowadays is because of our reasons for doing it. Marriage at its core is a partnership not a fairy tale or a constant booty call. You both come together to combine resources to build something bigger than either of you. If you love each other, no wahala but love is not a requirement. Like any other partnership though, you must be friends or at least tolerate one another well enough. You set the rules for your marriage based on what you can both deal with not what society dictates.

The trick is finding someone whose broken pieces fit your own. We dread fucking one pussy as if sex is food or "keeping my man" as if sex is currency.

To the OP, I won't tell you to ignore the naysayers here because they all have a point despite being misogynistic blokes. Read the positive and negative comments and then focus on the person you're with. Observe carefully and objectively every part of her. The good and the bad. Women can be absolutely crazy but they can also be incredibly divine. You'll find both ends of the spectrum in one woman and your readiness for marriage depends on how you can handle both sides of her. Once you're sure you can deal with all her aspects, it's time for your own examination. Do you want marriage for sex, a status symbol, a daycare institution or a housekeeper arrangement? Are you being honest about your bad sides too? Can you marry yourself if you have to?

Once you have resolved all this, then hold on to your realisations in the years to come when she gains weight in the wrong places or when you lose your job. When you're tired of the sex or when the silences get longer. These are the things that will keep your partnership going.

Above all, don't ever forget to pray all the time.

Good luck.

Lovely points.

lekki1444:
as a seasoned veteran the truth of the matter is that many african women will make marriage a nightmare because they dont have other passions in ther life. if a woman does not have a passion do not marry her because she will be waiting on you all the time to bring joy into her life and you are not capable of that.. and if she has no passion she will spend her time with vanity such as wasting money on clothes nails and hair. Look for a woman who has a strong passion be it Yoga, reading novels, exercising, coding, sewing, painting, making arts and crafts etc etc. women like this will leave you with enough space to breath and you will enjoy each others company as you both indulge in your own seperate passions. THE MAN MUST HAVE A PASSION TOO. because truth be told LIVING ALONE CAN GET OLD AND BORING ESPECIALLY AS YOU START GETTING TO 50. YOU DONT WANT TO BE THE 50 YEAR OLD GUY IN THE CLUB LOOKING FOR TEENAGERS WHILE ALL THE YOUNG BOYS ARE LAUGING AT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK

Also part of both of your passion should involve some kind of spirituality and some kind of body improvement regime like exercise

Well said.

emkz:
Look at your moniker and ask yourself if you are qualified to discuss matters of love. For your information, read my submission I made on another thread some months ago:



And please, don't tell me to pay attention to God. I find that insulting. If you are truly a Christian, you'd understand that every Christian's relationship with God is personal. My relationship with God is between me and Him and you must never mention it in your discussion because it is not your business.

Wow, this is deep.

tonididdy:
My gf is originally 80% boring.
I always have to push to start a conversation or a joke.
At this point, I am almost run out on efforts.



... Me I can't marry oh.

She's not boring, she doesn't find you interesting.

It's a red flag, let her go.

showafrica:
Marriage is like every other business, just make sure you are the boss all the way. The aim of business is to make profit and the aim of marriage is to make legal babies. Which ever one, make sure you are the boss. During dating, sack anyone who is likely to challenge your captainship and marry the best subordinate. Na men dey bring wahala to themselves not screening the lady before marriage.

I salute you for this perspective.

Martinez39s:
I sent you links to my two meme threads and GLYCOLYSISS'S red-pill thread but a moderator deleted the post. There is a deliberate attempt to hide the red pill about female nature from you. Please check the threads. Forget about marriage and swallow the red pill.

Modified

Apologies for the modification.

Gamesmart:
I know the difference between something that works and something that does not work.

Anything that people do not allow to work falls under the category of "something that does not work".

Anything that mostly fail and is below success expectation rates falls under the category of "something that does not work".

E.g. NEPA is supposed to give us 24 hours light 365 days a year but is only giving us 6 hours of light a day (even if it gives 5% of Nigerians 24 hours a day) means NEPA does not work, it is a failed arrangement.

Marriage does not work, it is a failed arrangement. Even if you can find some "blissful" marriage.

Let me support you here by using the concept of MAJORITY.

Nigerians voted for Buhari as President, so did Americans Trump.

- Did ALL Nigerians vote for Buhari? NO.

- Did ALL Americans vote for Trump? NO.

But it can be concluded that NIGERIANS and AMERICANS voted for both men respectively; why? Simply because the majority did.

Now let's apply the above concept.

- Do ALL marriages fail? NO.

- What proportion fails? About 60% or even more, which is the majority.

So, conclusively, the institution called MARRIAGE has turned a failure. You can however go into it if you so desire.