₦airaland Forum

Many of us are blaming this woman, we all forget that marriage don't operate in distance, how on earth will a man or woman leave their partners for that period of time. It can happen to man or woman what we are talking about is depression.
Ma, please find a comfortable time and place to tell your husband all that happened and how you had been covering this secret and pray for God's forgiveness before you tell your husband this. Thanks may God see you through amen.

Tell your husband and be done with it.

It will be unforgivable if he finds out from your sister or anyone else. Shiiite happens and you shouldn't be ashamed of the choices you made. Embrace it and face the consequences.
The way you describe your husband, he's a reasonable person and deceived you too. Perhaps he knew already but waiting for you to own up to your own mistake the way he did.

rafcrown:
You are just a criminal. Period.

You obviously do not know the meaning of the word "crime"

Justman01:
Many of us are blaming this woman, we all forget that marriage don't operate in distance, how on earth will a man or woman leave their partners for that period of time. It can happen to man or woman what we are talking about is depression.
Ma, please find a comfortable time and place to tell your husband all that happened and how you had been covering this secret and pray for God's forgiveness before you tell your husband this. Thanks may God see you through amen.

Don't mind these hypocrites

Men don suffer for this life, walahi.

To b frank this is pure selfishness, u are indeed ungrateful. U think is easy for ur sis to have claimed to hv that kid in your place? Since u hv already named that girl as hers,u should have left that kid here and take her biological kid. Afterall the kid has been with her here since.

alllivesmatter:
Your point and analysis is quite valid. However, let's ask ourselves this. Do you think the husband who was staying abroad did so for 11 years without sleeping with a woman? He probably was "wise" enough not to father a child...

The husband had two children with two different women while he was alone over there

Truth be told you went too far, inasmuch as i ain't in support of you opening your legs for another man while your husband is busy struggling how to bring you all over, i can say you could 've as well prevented the pregnancy if truly you don't want to get pregnant which i'm very sure you knows what to 've done while engaging in such reckless sex. Now to my advice...i suggest you just call your husband and opened up to him, your sister might not be the one to tell him in the end, but i can assure you no secret lives forever, sooner or later he will surely find out someday and it will be more harmful if he finds out himself. How far will you keep seeing your own blood child as your niece ?
How long will your blood child keep calling you aunty ?
How long will you keep taking blood pressure medicatios ?
'Ve you thought of the double hatred you would received when your husband or daughter finds out themselves ?
Just to mention but a few...

Jceeee:
Hello everybody ,
I came here to seek for advice because I’m in a big dilemma with my kid sister , I don’t want to bore you with long story I will make the long story short.
I got married in May 2000 I was pregnant with my first child , I had my first child in September that same year then another daughter in 2002 May , and in July 2002 my husband left for abroad ( I won’t mention the country ) .

I had to move out of the renting apartment and went back to my parents house with my 2 children while waiting for him to apply for our documents, it took him 2 years to settle and for 2 year he couldn’t send us money because he had no documents and job.

My parents were supportive until when my husband got his documents and started working , he started sending us money every month and was working hard for me and the kids to join him but things were not working well for us , they keep rejecting us but he didn’t get tired of us , but I started getting tired after 5 years of waiting, missing him badly , no intimacy and I was lonely and very depressed.

I start seeking attention outside and I met with a married man that I had a relationship with, I got pregnant in 2008 the man suggested abortion but I didn’t want to abort because I was scared to die because I remember a cousin that had a husband abroad , she got pregnant and went to abort , she died instantly so I didn’t want to end up like her .

I had planned with my sister and mum that I should leave our state to another state ( I won’t mention the name ) to go and have my baby then will come back after the baby is 3 months , I and my kid sister left and rented another house in a different state meanwhile we lied to my dad that I had traveled to this country to join my husband in abroad , things was well.

I had my baby another girl in 2009 and we kept the secret for 3 months from my dad and we had to lie to him , it was my kid sister that has given birth to this baby while we were away and my dad got angry at her and he has said a lot of harsh things to her, it was very painful but my sister supported me and didn’t let the secret come out , even to my husband he just knew the baby was my sister , because I was breastfeeding her , we didn’t want to go home yet so we had to stayed here for a year , when I weaned her and we started preparing to go back home, lying to my dad that things didn’t work out and I couldn’t join my husband anymore, we returned back home in 2010 and we had been keeping this secrets from my dad , husband and other people .

Finally God has been great that I had to joined my husband in 2013 after 11 years of waiting , it was a wonderful time to be with him again , my kid sister got married in 2014 she had a daughter with her husband before marriage born in 2012, so the husband accepted her with my daughter that she pretend to be hers , she went to her husband house , leaving my kids with our parents , she only took the daughter she had with her husband and I used to send them money as usual until in 2015 my 2 daughters I had with my husband joined us abroad and my other daughter stayed behind , I had to convinced my husband that my sister baby should join us too which he was okay and grateful to my sister because she had been the one taking care of our children in my absent so we started applying for documents for the girl, but they kept rejecting it but we didn’t give up, at that same time my sister has also wanted her biological daughter to be included in but I was frank with her that we couldn’t add her daughter because the daughter that I had is known to be hers so if we had another daughter it would be wrong , so this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing to me , but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a best private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.

Luckily my daughter which to my husband is my niece has joined us this January 2020 , she knows me as her auntie and my sister her mummy , She is doing well my family is complete , I have also had 2 more children with my husband two cute boys but my sister has been threatening and blackmailing that she would tell my husband everything about my daughter , I had begged even our mum has been begging her not to spoil my marriage but she wouldn’t listen.

I’m scared she would tell my husband and my marriage will be over. I don’t sleep well and anytime when my husband get back from work , my heart beat faster thinking that he has found out about the secrets and I’m no longer in peace. he loves my niece ( daughter ) so much that he doesn’t treat her any different from our 4 children but I’m getting so scared , have been taking blood pressure medication because of my sister threatening me.

Please I know a lot of you would insult me because I deserve it but all I need is advice from you .

please if you could offer me some , I just don’t know what else to do

Jceeee:
Hello everybody ,
I came here to seek for advice because I’m in a big dilemma with my kid sister , I don’t want to bore you with long story I will make the long story short.
I got married in May 2000 I was pregnant with my first child , I had my first child in September that same year then another daughter in 2002 May , and in July 2002 my husband left for abroad ( I won’t mention the country ) .

I had to move out of the renting apartment and went back to my parents house with my 2 children while waiting for him to apply for our documents, it took him 2 years to settle and for 2 year he couldn’t send us money because he had no documents and job.

My parents were supportive until when my husband got his documents and started working , he started sending us money every month and was working hard for me and the kids to join him but things were not working well for us , they keep rejecting us but he didn’t get tired of us , but I started getting tired after 5 years of waiting, missing him badly , no intimacy and I was lonely and very depressed.

I start seeking attention outside and I met with a married man that I had a relationship with, I got pregnant in 2008 the man suggested abortion but I didn’t want to abort because I was scared to die because I remember a cousin that had a husband abroad , she got pregnant and went to abort , she died instantly so I didn’t want to end up like her .

I had planned with my sister and mum that I should leave our state to another state ( I won’t mention the name ) to go and have my baby then will come back after the baby is 3 months , I and my kid sister left and rented another house in a different state meanwhile we lied to my dad that I had traveled to this country to join my husband in abroad , things was well.

I had my baby another girl in 2009 and we kept the secret for 3 months from my dad and we had to lie to him , it was my kid sister that has given birth to this baby while we were away and my dad got angry at her and he has said a lot of harsh things to her, it was very painful but my sister supported me and didn’t let the secret come out , even to my husband he just knew the baby was my sister , because I was breastfeeding her , we didn’t want to go home yet so we had to stayed here for a year , when I weaned her and we started preparing to go back home, lying to my dad that things didn’t work out and I couldn’t join my husband anymore, we returned back home in 2010 and we had been keeping this secrets from my dad , husband and other people .

Finally God has been great that I had to joined my husband in 2013 after 11 years of waiting , it was a wonderful time to be with him again , my kid sister got married in 2014 she had a daughter with her husband before marriage born in 2012, so the husband accepted her with my daughter that she pretend to be hers , she went to her husband house , leaving my kids with our parents , she only took the daughter she had with her husband and I used to send them money as usual until in 2015 my 2 daughters I had with my husband joined us abroad and my other daughter stayed behind , I had to convinced my husband that my sister baby should join us too which he was okay and grateful to my sister because she had been the one taking care of our children in my absent so we started applying for documents for the girl, but they kept rejecting it but we didn’t give up, at that same time my sister has also wanted her biological daughter to be included in but I was frank with her that we couldn’t add her daughter because the daughter that I had is known to be hers so if we had another daughter it would be wrong , so this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing to me , but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a best private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.

Luckily my daughter which to my husband is my niece has joined us this January 2020 , she knows me as her auntie and my sister her mummy , She is doing well my family is complete , I have also had 2 more children with my husband two cute boys but my sister has been threatening and blackmailing that she would tell my husband everything about my daughter , I had begged even our mum has been begging her not to spoil my marriage but she wouldn’t listen.

I’m scared she would tell my husband and my marriage will be over. I don’t sleep well and anytime when my husband get back from work , my heart beat faster thinking that he has found out about the secrets and I’m no longer in peace. he loves my niece ( daughter ) so much that he doesn’t treat her any different from our 4 children but I’m getting so scared , have been taking blood pressure medication because of my sister threatening me.

Please I know a lot of you would insult me because I deserve it but all I need is advice from you .

please if you could offer me some , I just don’t know what else to do

You will be shocked with the advice I'm going to give you. You'll need a strong heart to follow it.

The strong heart can only come from the spirit of God. When you accept the gift of God's love and become repentant of your old life, not just because of what you did, but because you're born of a woman like everyone on this forum and elsewhere. Without you accepting that love of God in the gift of Jesus for humanity, your life and that of every human being will be miserable.

Now, coming back to your story, you'll discover that while this step I mentioned above is being carried out the heavens will be working things for you.

The spirit of God will tell you when to sit your husband down and explain everything to him. First, you'll note that the fear of loosing your marriage will no longer terrorize you. Even if the option of being deported back to Nigeria is staring you in the face, you won't be scared. Life doesn't end with living with a man, you can live alone and have peace with God.

Prepare for the worst and thereafter open up to your husband, and leave him to decide. As a matter of fact, you should be ready to leave that marriage because you disappointed the man. Meanwhile, don't be surprised to discover that your husband may also have a story to confess to you. Tell him that he has a choice between retaining you or ending the marriage. Be ready to accept anything. When you give your life to Jesus, nothing bothers you any longer.

What's the essence of life of perpetual fear? You're excited that you're living in the abroad abi, like ignorant Nigerians will say?

Tell the truth and be alive. You're currently in the grave. Shame the devil with the truth and come alive.

Jceeee:
Thanks yes I have a job and I’m already a citizen of this country. Honestly incase he left me , I would be better off because in this country we have lots of opportunities especially if you are a single parent but I don’t want to end up single mother here , I love my husband so much that I want us to still be married and living happily

I do understand your plight it is one of those costly mistake one makes in life it has happened, it has happened, what you really need to do is this wake your husband up in the middle of the night, if he asked what for, put him in suspense for that night and think of something else to tell him, do this occasionally for like three weeks before you burst the bubble, with this you have kind of trouble shoot his reaction, do expect the worst which is likely a divorce but also be prepared to face the consequences, for your daughter s sake, because not all secrets follows us to the grave

better tell him before ur sister's does
hmmm
this story sef weak me
anyway he might not be a saint, him too fit done sleep with another woman when u weren't the

If truly you shielded this from your husband and your father and deceptively pretended that your blood is your sisters daughter for complete 11 years, that means you, your mum and your sister can kill a human being, roast or fry it and at the same time eat it, without blinking an eye. Tufia ….



The day your daughter will know the truth, you will hate your life.

When you are planning your evil act you should know blackmailing will come some day, so you have to prepare for it. As for me you are a very wicked and selfish woman. If i wear you i will Carry your sister child to join you. So you are telling your sister that blood is thicker than water

Some women though, God will surely punish them, las las your sister will tell your husband about the secret and your marriage will crash and you deserve it. You could even be one of those ladies who brag feminism on Nairaland but at the end of the day, you are a piece of shit.

My advice for you is open up and tell ur husband the truth, cos you can't keep hiding it forever, if he finds out himself it will be deadly for you. women are evil, ur sister will continue to punish you with that secret.

Madam nothing is new under the sun and there is nothing that is hid that won't be exposed eventually.

Do you intend to carry this secret to your grave? Knowingly denying your daugther of her true heritage? And when you eventually face you maker what would be your excuse or defence.

It is very hard but if i were you i will confess to my husband and beg for his forgiveness. He may forgive you, he may not, but then you would have set yourself free by telling the truth and you would have made peace with your creator.

If you think no one knows this secret but your sister and mum, you would be lying to yourself. And someday the secret will be revealed.You can take that to the bank

Think about this and do the right thing by your daughter, your husband and for your own peace of mind.

Hhansome:
Hello ma'am. You are just an evil woman hiding under some fake moniker just to attract some fake sympathy on this forum. Unfortunately i'm going to say it the exact way without fear... How on earth does a mother deny her child? Not actually the man but a mother who carried her child of nine months. Save me the crap, you want to save your marriage! Did you not consider it before opening your stupid legs? Anyways i dont waste my advice on evil people... Check on next comments abeg.

Blood of Zachariah women women women!!!!!!!

72Morale:
I pray everyday not to meet a creature like you till I leave this earth.

If you are a man reading this.

May almighty God guide and protect you from marrying an inpatient woman who will be wayward and unfaithful enough to sleep around, getting pregnant for various men and deceiving you by making you raise a child that isn't yours unknowingly.

May you never marry a woman who will be busy thinking about sex and diiick while you are busy suffering hard on how to take care of her and make her and your kids happy.

Amin

nwanyi idi wicked

Open up and let him know. If you don't your sister will keep blackmailing you. And again him too has also cheated on you. Though that of a man is forgivable but in African it's allowed and man is a polygamous animal. Tell him and ask for his forgiveness but don't take as a right.

Jceeee:
Hello everybody ,
I came here to seek for advice because I’m in a big dilemma with my kid sister , I don’t want to bore you with long story I will make the long story short.
I got married in May 2000 I was pregnant with my first child , I had my first child in September that same year then another daughter in 2002 May , and in July 2002 my husband left for abroad ( I won’t mention the country ) .

I had to move out of the renting apartment and went back to my parents house with my 2 children while waiting for him to apply for our documents, it took him 2 years to settle and for 2 year he couldn’t send us money because he had no documents and job.

My parents were supportive until when my husband got his documents and started working , he started sending us money every month and was working hard for me and the kids to join him but things were not working well for us , they keep rejecting us but he didn’t get tired of us , but I started getting tired after 5 years of waiting, missing him badly , no intimacy and I was lonely and very depressed.

I start seeking attention outside and I met with a married man that I had a relationship with, I got pregnant in 2008 the man suggested abortion but I didn’t want to abort because I was scared to die because I remember a cousin that had a husband abroad , she got pregnant and went to abort , she died instantly so I didn’t want to end up like her .

I had planned with my sister and mum that I should leave our state to another state ( I won’t mention the name ) to go and have my baby then will come back after the baby is 3 months , I and my kid sister left and rented another house in a different state meanwhile we lied to my dad that I had traveled to this country to join my husband in abroad , things was well.

I had my baby another girl in 2009 and we kept the secret for 3 months from my dad and we had to lie to him , it was my kid sister that has given birth to this baby while we were away and my dad got angry at her and he has said a lot of harsh things to her, it was very painful but my sister supported me and didn’t let the secret come out , even to my husband he just knew the baby was my sister , because I was breastfeeding her , we didn’t want to go home yet so we had to stayed here for a year , when I weaned her and we started preparing to go back home, lying to my dad that things didn’t work out and I couldn’t join my husband anymore, we returned back home in 2010 and we had been keeping this secrets from my dad , husband and other people .

Finally God has been great that I had to joined my husband in 2013 after 11 years of waiting , it was a wonderful time to be with him again , my kid sister got married in 2014 she had a daughter with her husband before marriage born in 2012, so the husband accepted her with my daughter that she pretend to be hers , she went to her husband house , leaving my kids with our parents , she only took the daughter she had with her husband and I used to send them money as usual until in 2015 my 2 daughters I had with my husband joined us abroad and my other daughter stayed behind , I had to convinced my husband that my sister baby should join us too which he was okay and grateful to my sister because she had been the one taking care of our children in my absent so we started applying for documents for the girl, but they kept rejecting it but we didn’t give up, at that same time my sister has also wanted her biological daughter to be included in but I was frank with her that we couldn’t add her daughter because the daughter that I had is known to be hers so if we had another daughter it would be wrong , so this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing to me , but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a best private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.

Luckily my daughter which to my husband is my niece has joined us this January 2020 , she knows me as her auntie and my sister her mummy , She is doing well my family is complete , I have also had 2 more children with my husband two cute boys but my sister has been threatening and blackmailing that she would tell my husband everything about my daughter , I had begged even our mum has been begging her not to spoil my marriage but she wouldn’t listen.

I’m scared she would tell my husband and my marriage will be over. I don’t sleep well and anytime when my husband get back from work , my heart beat faster thinking that he has found out about the secrets and I’m no longer in peace. he loves my niece ( daughter ) so much that he doesn’t treat her any different from our 4 children but I’m getting so scared , have been taking blood pressure medication because of my sister threatening me.

Please I know a lot of you would insult me because I deserve it but all I need is advice from you .

please if you could offer me some , I just don’t know what else to do

Your sister is bent on destroying your marriage

I think it's time for you to tell your husband before she does honestly he won't be mad at you because he too should understand that it's not easy staying that long

To me, I feel its best you tell your husband and wait for the worst than him getting to know from your own sister

Don't be surprise your husband will not over react as a matter of fact, he will welcome that child and that will put a stop to your BP drugs

Just open up to him pls, summon the courage

And if he accepts you and the child, just keep your sister at a distance

madridguy:
My head dey swell up as you call me Mr Lawyer wish i be lawyer.

Aha madam you are .......don't even know what to call you .are you that heartless as to do this to a man you claim you love ?what you did was very very wrong your mum,sis n yourself no offense meant are the devil themselves.truth is when you tell your husband he's not going to forgive you don't be deceived .just prepare to leave that marriage n that your child I doubt if she we ever forgive you too.I pray God forgives you n softin ur Hubby's mind to give u lighter punishment.this is hard breaking.but still let him know so you be free from ur sister's blackmail.

There is nothing forever.

Honesty wins out, if not in the short run, but in the long run.

madridguy:
Time registered: February 22, 2020

Nairaland is now a place where the admin hire writers to write different lies just to drag traffic

I can tell you confidently that I know real stories that have been posted here on this forum. Believe it or not

AND WE WOULD ALSO EXPOSE YOU ON NAIRA LAND SINCE YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL PRIVATELY WITH PERSONAL ISSUES IN YOUR HOME

The huge mistake has been done and cannot be corrected, either way both you and your husband had children outside your marriage. You still have to tell your husband there's no way around it, and also prep your sister to bring her daughter to your country after secondary education. You can start making plans towards that.
All can be worked around since you are a citizen already just plan towards your sister daughter university education in your current country

Hhansome:
Hello ma'am. You are just an evil woman hiding under some fake moniker just to attract some fake sympathy on this forum. Unfortunately i'm going to say it the exact way without fear... How on earth does a mother deny her child? Not actually the man but a mother who carried her child of nine months. Save me the crap, you want to save your marriage! Did you not consider it before opening your stupid legs? Anyways i dont waste my advice on evil people... Check on next comments abeg.

This is not about the opening of stupid legs because, body no be firewood, 11 years or so! Even fathers and sisters are doing parole these days.
It's about why getting pregnant? It's about why keeping the pregnancy? It's about why not selling the idea of the "second" baby from her sister to her husband and let the husband decide if he's okay with bringing "two" kids from his wife's sister abroad?
To me, @ Jceeee, you're selfish for not selling the idea to your husband and let him decide.

The earlier u tell the truth, d better 4 u. Cos surely d truth must come out. Its better ur husband hears it 4rm u than 4rm someone else.

frozen70:
Your sister is bent on destroying your marriage

I think it's time for you to tell your husband before she does honestly he won't be mad at you because he too should understand that it's not easy staying that long

To me, I feel its best you tell your husband and wait for the worst than him getting to know from your own sister

Don't be surprise your husband will not over react as a matter of fact , he will welcome that child and that will put a stop to your BP drugs

Just open up to him pls, summon the courage

And if he accepts you and the child, just keep your sister at a distance

He will definitely react, he must.

madridguy:
Time registered: February 22, 2020

Nairaland is now a place where the admin hire writers to write different lies just to drag traffic

Really...