₦airaland Forum

MadeMan01:
My brother it is hard.
That is my exact predicament. The simple truth is that Nigerian economy is so harsh that it has made people put a monetary value on everything even love.
My predicament is I met a lovely girl three years ago whilst working. She was in her final year then and just completed NYSC. I lost my job in first trimester of last year. But before my girl left for NYSC in November 2019, I was getting some unsavoury vibes from her. I asked her about it she didn't speak out. But as a guy, I suspected the stress of me being jobless played a role. Prior to this, the girl told me she wants to go abroad and for this reason i started moves.
Can you believe, this lady couldn't even wait for the outcome of the process despite knowing how far I'd gone with application and frequent teasing me about seeing her folks which I planned for December 2020. She messaged me in February 2020 to break it off for some guy in Abuja.
Fast forward to November 2020, abroad visa has clicked and the girl that should be enjoying it is nowhere around me. I really love her. My brain tells me to leave her, my heart says go back to her forgive her stupidity after all she planted the seed of abroad in my head. Also I have two bank job offers.
I am considering leaving her, going abroad and getting a foreign woman but a part of me holds her dear. I know Nigerian poverty caused her to make that decision. But my concern is whether she would have learnt her lesson and won't give up on me in Future joint project no matter how hard

She will leave if you go down again, you learnt nothing and that's a shame...

baby124:
If it’s so hard then, you are the problem. Whether physically, emotionally or mentally. They are running from you for a reason. Check yourself and change.

This is not true. Getting a good girl in Nigeria is more difficult than becoming a president.

He is not the problem, feminism movement is the problem.

If you see the way mothers are indoctrinating their daughters on how to deal with men, you will shed tears.

Nigerian girls do not want real men. They love simps who they can manipulate to their advantage.

cococandy:
I wish someone would advice this 22yr old girl to focus on herself rather than working on you and securing loans for you with hopes that your magnanimity will be what her future needs. In 10yrs time when you probably have something worthwhile going for yourself, she will become ‘too fat’ ‘too old’ ‘too opinionated’ etc for you.

Feminist spotted! If this one comes close to your girlfriend, the love story will end.

djon78:
Word!!!!
@ OP are you the right person to be with?
Do you have the right character and attitude?

Bcoz if you don't have the required resume
The right one will come and you will mess everything up

Moreover
To stay with a woman
You need patience
Especially if you want to get the best out of your union
You need patience

Patience? Because she is doing you a favour?
So the criteria to getting a good wife is your ability to tolerate her nonsense?

danvault:
She will leave if you go down again, you learnt nothing and that's a shame...

I did. I have moved on. Just need overcome the part of me that has a soft spot for her

obyrich:
People hardly change. What changes is condition. If you take her back and take her abroad, she will leave you if she had a better option or she you to collect all you laboured for. Learn from your past and what happened to other people. First fool jo be fool. Na second fool be real Ode. Shine your eyes bro.

My eyes don clear. Thank you. I no dey make same mistake two times

EdoFirstBorn:
Yes too hard because 99% are whôres
Materialistic, manipulative, pathological lairs

Most of them have lost what makes them women that's why when you are with them you quickly feel the need to exit that conversation or just have her leave.

They feel like men ... Yurk

They are a lost course.. that's why you have so many over aged unmarried women in Nigeria

I predict that in the coming years more and more of these over aged women will become nuns .

Show me where you got your statistics from. This sounds so violent but with words

BusinessCity:
If I hug you dia.


Life balance, na persin go stand well

OK oh.. All mallam and em own kettle.

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DaytonaAries:
Show me where you got your statistics from. This sounds so violent but with words

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You sound like you are high on something

danvault:
She will leave if you go down again, you learnt nothing and that's a shame...

You’re a fool you take this girl back. A whole axs clown.

Funkyswagzz:
My dear I didnt chicken out when I dated a girl with alot of trouble for 3yrs.. at the end of the day u realize u ain't happy with the relationship, no peace of mind. Pls I'm not gonna teach anyone how to behave. If u can't act matured enough am not gonna waist my time on ya. Just last month or so I told a girl I started dating I can't send her money for her to buy hair dryer cos I've gone over my limit transfer for the day. She was like am at the market pls send me money lemme buy a dryer. Because I didn't send her money she put an attitude towards me and declined my calls the next morning I called her. U think am ready to tolerate such attitude? Hell no

Why can’t this hoe buy her own hair dryer? Is
She your responsibility because she chose to open her legs? I don’t understand this mentality at all. Women need to buy their own shxt and stope depending on a man or in most cases several men.

MadeMan01:
I did. I have moved on. Just need overcome the part of me that has a soft spot for her

She gave herself to another man bro, body and soul, she gave up on you then cuz things were rough and she wasn't patient with you never forget that.
Maybe you just want to show her that you are now capable to give her the good life she so selfishly desires lol...

danvault:
She will leave if you go down again, you learnt nothing and that's a shame...

say it again, please!

planetx13:
Exactly, thank God you know everyone must move with his/her class.... So stop looking for a rich, decent, real man when you are a broke, ill-mannered biitch.....

Ciao

Haaaa, she score own goal for ur net, u con use opportunity score 20

But in reality girls are just something, move with your type no, they want what their father could not afford all his life

abimic:
Good women for marriage are hard to find, most are selfish, boring, too materialistic and self centered. Don't be desperate about it, there are still many women out there, you just have to be on the look out while you go about your daily life. Mingle, socialize, go to gatherings, church, beach, hang out, dress cool, be attractive and neat, be conversational, be relaxed and not be desperate, you would end up having up to nothing less than ten girls numbers, then screening starts like who's entering university. Be friends with all of them to see truly, who fits in to be your ideal woman, remember no one is perfect.

hmmmmm....they are not materialistic and self centered, they only seek for comfort... you cant eat your cake and have it.

fairheart:
Shows you're knowledgeable. I think the problem is selfishness and lack of empathy. If we are groomed with being selfless and can project others in our shoes, life would be easy, and I think relationships would mostly work out. I know selflessness and empathy breeds other qualities essential for a man and a woman to stick together and love through all seasons. Unfortunately, the opposite is what humanity has become.
Thanks for sharing your thought.

You are welcome

BKsoul:
hmmmmm....they are not materialistic and self centered, they only seek for comfort... you cant eat your cake and have it.

Hi. Are you alcoholics?

dorin27:
Don't you think 99% is too high?

Hello there madam, you are beautiful. Madam may I have sexx with you so I can stop being gay from Janary 2021?

BKsoul:
Na so...

You are rude

Boxer007:
Hello there madam, you are beautiful. Madam may I have sexx with you so I can stop being gay from Janary 2021?

you are forgiven. Go and sin no more.

Merry Christmas

botrix:
I THINK IT IS HARD TO GET COS I JUST LOST MY SUPPOSED WIFE TO ANOTHER MAN BECOS OF MONEY AFTER 9YEARS OF SUFFERING

Now you are acting victim..... Even your own sisters cant even do half of what that lady has done in your life.....

BKsoul:
Now you are acting victim..... Even your own sisters cant even do half of what that lady has done in your life.....

I need a lady friend. Can I invite u to sleep over so we can enjoy togeda?

akinade28:
Really! See the irony of life.
And I'm surrounded with good ladies looking for good men to marry. Unfortunately, there are few good men there. Most just want sex

Where are the good ladies, how do i see one? I am serious with this question

dogmart:
I feel you should relax and take your time. You are bent to get worked up and desperate if you put a timer to it.

Truth is there are still lot of good ladies out there. You just need to be yourself and the right one will find you and vise versa.

Go out, mingle, make friends with ladies. Be calm. Don't go hunting in desperation. If you do you are bound to make wrong choices.

It doesn't always mean the lady in question is bad. Might just mean that you are not man enough to handle her, thus she isn't best for you.

And to the poster above me, where did u get your figures from?
There are good ladies and bad ladies, same way there are good guys and bad guys.

Op relax, and you will find what you seek.

Well said!

shedomains:
to you why would you want to control and adult says a lot about your ego,and what is wrong in she wanting to be independent as a human, netflix has destroy nothing but only enlighten them. look let me school you a little in case you want to bring in our mothers generation, our mothers were timid,hungry, limited in education and on inform but for the ladies of today i can beat my chest and tell you a lot are doing way better than most guys around and vastly inform,so they dont need your coins this is why i always tell guys to eradicate submission and bring in co operation if not you go tey for bus stop ,as menopause dey meet them women na so manopause go meet them men ,especially those team am a traditional man.oyo na una case shikena

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You just said Trash..

Oluromantic:
God bless your wisdom. You aren't married yet but you are on the right path thinking properly. Compatibility is very important and germane. I still wonder how some girls think they can reach the depth of a man's heart with lack of respect and submission. Honestly it baffles me, even nature is confused because that's not God's original plan. Well they say some men like it, that's why I don't argue it at all. I was once in such a relationship too, she was impatient intolerant and always want all my decision to be about her in the name of caring. I couldn't cope I had to opt out. I boldly told her to her face that we had to quit. She asked why, I said we're not compatible. She left with dramatic grudges which included calls, chats, utmost rudeness, abuses etc. I felt emotional trauma at first but today I'm thanking God for the decision. I have peace of mind.

Word!

Married and lonely?
Must be based in Abuja

Open for a discreet relationship, for companion, hangout and discreet fun.

If you looking for a DISCREET relationship with someone else that’s married then send a personal message.

Only interested in a woman that’s married.
I am married myself and only want to talk with someone in same position as me.

Keep in mind you will have to prove your identity to show you not fraudulent.

Age between 18 to 50
Send a DM or an email to Aus27000@gmail.com

Berryli:
well said and I respect your opinion more so you were able to express it without getting insulting which is what most people would do. I wish you and your lady the best then. just to mention, I ain't a bro!!! I'm a full blown lady�

Hi!!! We got married on thr 9th of March 2025

cococandy:
I wish someone would advice this 22yr old girl to focus on herself rather than working on you and securing loans for you with hopes that your magnanimity will be what her future needs. In 10yrs time when you probably have something worthwhile going for yourself, she will become ‘too fat’ ‘too old’ ‘too opinionated’ etc for you.

I spent hours looking for this message as you wrote this 5 years ago. Well, we finally got married on the 9th of March 2025. This year makes it 8yrs of being together and she hasn't regretted any bit of it. I'm out of the country and not doing badly and she'll be joining me this year.

Secondly, even in the next 20yrs, she's still be here with me. Guys, if you have a good girl, no matter what, never let her go irrespective of the distance.