₦airaland Forum

Giantfarmer:
and some women are verbally abusive which causes men emotional trauma... infact some of this women are quick to shout foul

Zzor:
For the man to have done that, you must be a bad wife and him taking the children along means he's a good and responsible man who loves his family, I hate women who treats Good men badly.

InvertedHammer:
/
Emotional or psychological trauma from verbal abuses (women's forte) have no physical evidence. No scratches nor blood to show to the public. Women are angels. Men suffer domestic violence too but won't be quick to run to the social media for fear of mockery.

/

debbydams:
yes.thanks

PedroEastman:
Let me tell you my life story, last year I was on my 6 months IT in Warri refinery where my Dad is a staff, my mom died when I was 6 and I have 3 younger siblings (step brother and sisters but you won’t notice because of the love we have for each other) . But unfortunately there mom and my Dad had to part ways because she couldn’t leave her business in port harcourt to base in Warri when my Dad was transferred there. So since my younger ones were still tender my Dad remarried a Warri woman but before the marriage she was nice and supportive but the moment she was married she started acting up and misbehaving. My Dad gave her a check of 1million in my presence to open a business close to the house and stock it very well but instead she opened a beer parlor after assuring my Dad she will open a provision shop and stock it like a mini supermarket. Fast forward to 4 years and she was still into the beer business and she closes late like 10pm after leaving home in the morning by 8 after my Dad leaves with me for IT by 7am but my Dad closes by 12 just to come hope and cook for my siblings because according to my step mom she was too busy with her business to cook. I kept wondering why my Dad is patiently cooking and not complaining about her considering the fact that he is hot tempered .


I never knew my Dad has a plan already coincidentally his retirement and my end of IT was in same month.

After I completed my IT my Dad retired but kept mute and she didn’t know he had retired and he even cooks and drive to her beer parlor to give her where she will be sitting and laughing with different men.

I had already finished my IT and my Dad retired too but we keep dressing every morning and and going out as usual as if we were going to our place of work then I never knew my Dad’s plan until he drove me somewhere in NNPC club where we got drinking, I drink a lot but my dad thought I was innocent to to him he is the first person to give me alcohol , mind you i was 23 years then. And drinking our beer he made one last call and all I heard was wait for me outside Refinery gate and he drove there lo and behold a very big truck that can be used to carry relieve material for displaced people. He drove ahead while the truck driver drove behind. We went straight to my siblings school and picked them up then we headed home where we packed everything and drove immediately to ph ( Eleme ). It was around 11pm she started calling and when we were already in our house but my Dad ordered my not to pick and he didn’t pick too .

For The 1million my Dad gave her to start the business she never for 1 days cook from it , even when my dad traveled and the money he dropped was exhausted she made us drink garri even when I had made millions and when my Dad asked why we had to sip garri as food her response was it’s a man’s responsibility to take care of the family not hers.



My reason for writing this long episode is just to let the OP know that a man can not just run with his children if you have not done anything to made feel you’re no more worthy.


I know my writing is not arranged but I just wanted to make a point[color=#990000][/color]

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

GboyegaD:
I will advice you like a family member. Contact the British High Commission to let them know he never sought your consent. Once you can justify the consent letter he submitted was falsified, his records are shattered and he might be deported. You can find a way to get his number and have that discussion with him before doing that to bring him back to his senses

Have you contacted his HR to be sure he resigned? They should be able to give you that information as his next of kin of he has you listed.

Lastly, to the clowns saying she must have been a bad wife, you don't have enough information to judge any of the parties in this marriage. That said, I know situations where the bad ones are the ones trying to run away with the kids.

Openbusiness:
He DOESN'T need any consent letter from his wife. All he had to do, which he has already done, is to prove fatherhood. If it is a baby, or little child, they will accept authentic recognized Government birth certificates, naming ceremony pictures etc. If it is a grown child, they might require DNA test too. Once they verify etc, and the man satisfies other requirements like funding to take care of himself and the children, accomodation in the UK etc, his VISA and approval for his children to travel with him is a done deal.

The man obviously met all the requirements. But some wailers are crying here and wailing like someone stole the air they are breathing because a father took his OWN biological children to the UK. Not uncle, not guardian, not surrogate, not godfather BUT the biological father himself. I want to believe that most if not all the men talking nonsense about it are obviously not fathers themselves most likely and so don't know what it means to be a father.

As if he needs anybody's permission to take his children wherever whenever. God bless him wherever he is. I don't know what transpired between him and his wife, that's another subject and topic and I can't judge matter I know nothing about, and even in this case pointing fingers and blame is not the solution.

The solution is diplomacy and peace. If the woman is still interested in her marriage and coexisting with THEIR children, of which she is the mother that gave birth to the children for her husband, who is the principal rightful "owner" of those children, then she should humble herself, find a way to reach out to her husband, apologize, sue for peace and accept to work out whatever issues they have (obviously there are issues), then submit to his authority as the head of their marriage and Captain of their relationSHIP.

Then she can go and join them in the UK too and leave Nigeria for those wailing on this thread forming Bruce Lee and bounty hunter and ICE agents because a father LEGALLY relocated with his children abroad. OP if you like, let them mislead you and help you DESTROY whatever is left of your marriage.

I think all these people pushing you to create more problems for yourself, they have new husband and new marriage they kept inside their pocket to give you, fah? You better check them, most of them are mannerless ungraceful misandristic females that can't even keep a boyfriend, not to mention a husband or marriage.

Don't let them help you destroy your marriage oh, cuz they want all ladies to be single, bitter, frustrated, empty and lonely like them. So helping you destroy your marriage is just another day in paradise for these low-budget misandristic females here. They call themselves evening newspapers, that's an accomplishment they are so Proud of and won't mind if you join their club. Be wise. Make peace with your husband so you can go and join your family in the UK

NkemChukwudi:
Marriage that is already scattered? What is it with you people and marriage sef? How many Nigerian marriages are truly functional in the UK sef?
Toxic relationships don’t usually change.

emeejinsm:
stop being a pussy doing this will only make matters worse

Openbusiness:
How is it already "scattered"? Did the OP say she wants divorce? Did the man try to divorce her? What they have is a matter of misunderstandings and disagreements. They are just having a power tussle as to who is in charge of their relationship. She is still interested in the marriage, and of course the man is still interested too, but obviously very angry with her right now. She is still his wife and he is still her husband. They can sort out this matter between themselves with wisdom and maturity in play. What's your definition of "toxic" marriage? There's is no marriage without ups and downs, there is no marriage without disagreement or conflicts from time to time or maybe even ocassional confrontations and physical or verbal attack. It is normal, it happens. Marriage is not always 24/7 Romance and Love. This is the real world, not a Disney Cinderella story. But judging from her write-up, she still loves her husband and they can still fix their marriage. This case is not beyond repair. She should reach to him and make peace and go and join her husband over there, or if they decide they want to come back here, that's up to them. 3rd party people can't just be sitting in one corner amd pushing people to destroy their marriages just like that. If your car gets broken down on the highway, do you just throw it away just like that, or you try to fix it?

Openbusiness:
You have no business with my likes, so why are you mentioning my comment on this thread, when I never even quoted you before? Your self-confusion is legendary. Do I look like a man that wants anything to do with your likes of ultrasensitive bitter super-nagging low-IQ confused triggered females? Definitely not me! I only relate with and appreciate decent, graceful, well-mannered, refined, classy, humble wise women with maturity who respect, honor and are loyal to their husbands and use their wisdom and good character to build their home and marriage, and not tear it apart like tissue paper. You're obviously not in that category of women, so what's my concern with you? And I'm not responsible for your heartbreaks so don't wail at me abeg.
(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ That's the way out of my mentions.

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

Useless woman!!! Some men would even leave without the children if the woman is too evil, but for him to even leave with the kids shows you're not just an ordinary wh*re

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

katyamizotta:
I wish you had turned the story around. Pretend to be a man whose wife abducted the kids and went to the UK. You would have received more help and information from people here.
Most of the members of this forum do not think much of women, including women.

Oluchia:
Waohh! Just waoh! @the comments. I was just thinking, if this same story was put up by a man whose wife absconded with his children without his consent, I can bet that the comments will be very different.

katyamizotta:
I wish you had turned the story around. Pretend to be a man whose wife abducted the kids and went to the UK. You would have received more help and information from people here.
Most of the members of this forum do not think much of women, including women.

Openbusiness:
He's a great guy, and can be very objective and neutral. We don't have issues, even though we don't always agree on certain political views, social or societal issues, we agree to disagree, we argue to learn and improve. Mynd44 is the best moderator on Nairaland. I have examined all of them. He stands heads and shoulders above the rest! And he is the most hardworking mod too. 4am he don dey push topics go front page. He is a correct somebody.

Perfectsouth:
This man just used my masterplan..
I need to device other means to go about mine without her even having a say at all.

CHoccolaTE:
Not only will the man get help from left, right and center, insults would have flooded on the thread about how women are evil and wicked and useless. Nobody will accuse the husband of being a bad person or say he deserves to have his kids taken away.

I keep saying it that men have innate, default hatred for women but women choose to lie to themselves about it.

Oluchia:
Honestly it's so sad.. This is one reason I usually don't like commenting on this forum. So many people with zero regard and human empathy especially for women.

InvertedHammer:
/
Emotional or psychological trauma from verbal abuses (women's forte) have no physical evidence. No scratches nor blood to show to the public. Women are angels. Men suffer domestic violence too but won't be quick to run to the social media for fear of mockery.

/

Karlovich:
This reminded me Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case, she was literally threatening him to call the police and see if he'll be believed. It's only on this platform that women are Angels and saints.

CHoccolaTE:
It's the males,

Nigerian men don't wish their females well.