₦airaland Forum

DaudaTheSexyGuy:
You wife is in restaurant business and you are shocked that she has a boyfriend?

For your info men make up over 95% of the customers of a restaurant therefore she needs to be ready to offer some services in kind for them to be coming back

MeeztaFabulouz:
7 years of struggle to cater for and build a decent home, I have spoken so many times and to no avail. Since I was born up till this year, I hit a woman for the first time in my life. The reason is just because she did something stupid, I didn't want to get involved in any argument or fight, I just went to book a hotel room and had a quite time to myself that night till the next morning and on getting home she just attacked me saying I went to sleep with another woman.
I have given her the options so many times to go her way if she is not happy being with me but she won't go. As am writing this, I have not eaten her food since yesterday and I just got home only to see her serving me food and trying to make up but this is not the first time. I practically made her not go to the shop today and I was expecting to see that she went to the shop. When ever we talk, she listens and behave herself for a while but its like there is a spirit that comes into her and when it does, she forgets everything and only tries to bring trouble and more trouble.

Go back to your fathers house, she will not. Ok go and be with any other person that will tolerate your attitude she will not leave my house. All she does is money money money this and that. Even with her business, she does not use a dime for anything in the house aside her own stuffs.
Can you imagine she had a fight with me some time ago because I personally went to pay my kids school myself? All because I didn't give her the money to go and pay herself as I normally do?

Can you also imagine she had a fight with me one day all because I bought a jeans and slippers for myself without buying anything for her and the kids because I had bought some nice stuff for all of them including her like a week before then.

This is a woman that has never bought me even a boxers since marriage and has never gotten me anything gift for my birthday or anything but I just ignore all that and focus on making the family happy. Yet I am not happy in my home because I know what I go through especially this year that corona made things rough, I have passed through hell just to ensure my family is fine and we are not put to shame yet a matured thinking lady does not even care about anything.

Those saying I am a fool for thinking of suicide because of a woman, it is not because of the woman I am thinking of such, if you really know what depression can cause, knowing how hard you struggle to earn your money and spend it on someone who cares less for you, you will understand.

CAPSLOCKED:

MOST MARRIED PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS AND IT'S STARTING TO FEEL LIKE MARRIAGE HAS OUTLIVED ITS USEFULNESS.

I'VE FIGURED MANY PEOPLE (WOMEN ESPECIALLY) GET MARRIED BECAUSE OF THE "WEDDING". YES. FOR THEM IT'S THE WEDDING PARTY, FANCY DRESSES AND PICTURES, AND ATTENTION THAT MATTERS. WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT DAY IS HARDLY GIVEN A THOUGHT AS LONG AS THE WEDDING DAY IS REMARKABLE AND MASSIVE.
MANY MEN ENTER INTO MARRIAGE TO SATISFY THEIR FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIP PARTNERS. THERE'S HARDLY ANY FAMILY TODAY THAT CAN SAY THEY'RE 100% HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER. IT'S LIKE THE REGRET SETS IN 30 MINUTES AFTER THE WEDDINGS AND EVERYBODY WISHES THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS.

WHAT FOLLOWS ARE SILLY EXCUSES, THAT "NO MARRIAGE IS PERFECT". THE TRUTH IS THAT MOST MARRIAGES SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED, AND THE VERY FEW MARRIAGES THAT EXISTS WITHOUT REGRETS ARE THE PERFECT ONES THAT MOST LOSERS PRETEND DOESN'T EXIST.

Zzor:
I wonder why any woman will treat a good husband in this manner, may God help you but suicide isn't an option

ezechi24:
oga I beg shut up...u lack wisdom....something tells me u started your relationship with a very flamboyant lifestyle and that was what made ur wife leave her so called ex ...and mind u she didn't leave him because she loves u naaaa...she left him because she saw u had what it takes for her to be secured financially and she was still in love with her ex...if u check well she must have bleeped that her ex before u married her....now money don go down the feelings for that her ex must always come back...and it will be worse if she was the one that broke up with him...regrets and if I had know will be running through her head... and problem if the so-called ex come get money last last ...na she go dey chat the boy up sef....see an advice to my fellow niggas the right time to find a wife i s when u broke...but if no one free date u when u broke..if u eventually come hama bro go for a baby mamma ...leave these hoes cuz they are meant for farming the konji land....oga go find more money to give had cuz its certain that she only love and respect ur money not u....how am I even sure if the so-called ex never weep am... this one she dey off phone for night

prettysassygirl:
Suicide !!! Because of what abeg? The fire that would be waiting for you in hell is doing press-up. Keep entertaining evil thoughts.

CallMeGrace:
Assumption kills..
Have you caught her having sexual intercourse with her suitors?
You are just bothered with what you saw..
Well, she might be flirting/cheating.. fine!
Why not call her attention on what you saw.
I believe before you married her, you guys communicate?
Call her, sit her ass down, talk to her, tell her this is what you saw, you are not comfortable with it, as a man, you should have a say in your home.. don't die of silence, what she say should be your next move, maybe you go tell her parents, or your pastor, or someone she do listens to.. Please consider your children..

litigator:
You have not told us the nature of your marital problems and why you are depressed.

Secondly, there is a disconnect between you and your wife. What is the source of your disconnect?

Lastly, you seem to suffer from Co-dependence syndrome. You seem to derive joy from your wife and your kids.

In as much as this is normal for a married man, cos after all, family is the reason for the hustle, the point is crystal clear that none can make you happy except yourself.

You need a change of environment. Just pack your bags and disappear for a week or month, if you can. Even if it's Badagry, Calabar or Benin Republic, please disappear.

Don't tell her anything. Just tell the kids you are travelling.

If she is still into you, she will be worried sick and she will get the message and you guys can sit and talk when you get back.

But if she has moved on, and is only in your life cos of the kids, you will know from her reaction.

This will enable you make an informed decision upon your return. Guess you will learn to move on with life too.

If you kill yourself today, she might not even shed a shred of tears before sucking the next available coc.k. I must be honest.

Just know for free that a woman can move on emotionally, but remain in the marriage cos of the kids.

For whatever it is worth, there is a disconnect in your marriage.

rafcrown:
Personally, I believe majority of women are not to be trusted. Married or single.

bluefilm:
Nonsense.

I hate it when men lose total control over women.

iamJ:
Women cheat alot nowadays


Good for men, for centuries una dey marry plenty wife and cheat around, having baby mama and all the rest


If married woman show me light, I will dive her with no pity, men deserve it

BlessedNuel:
Bro...I no go lie give you.

If I eventually get married...I will never checkmate my wife.

I don't care.....once I notice a slight change in her behaviour.....I will refrain from going raw with her... probably we will have to go for a snappy test once more before I continue..

Na just 4 kids wey I want and once I don get em..no shaking.... I will surely go for a DNA test with all of my kids....once positive...No wahala.

She can go ahead to do whatever she wants.... Personally,I was advised by my grandfather never to dey chook eye inside woman matter.

No matter what you do...you can never satisfy them....He told me that If I want to live long...I should bother less about women

angelfallz:
Ex-boyfriend that likes checking on her. shey ex-boyfriend no get him own family?
Please divorce your wife and move on so that you would live long.

Do not allow yourself to be taken for granted. Let her go and be with her ex-boyfriend and the man that likes to eat at her restaurant(she must be a good cook)

AFONJACOW:
The cause of your depression is poverty , you heard me right, .. People like Ned Nwoke despite their age nah fine girls dey rush them not the other way round... When you have enough balance in ur account, woman dare not play with ur emotions because she's just Inviting co-wife .... That's why we talk say, money comes first in a man life before marriage... Anyway u can still go ahead and kee urself, they will come to ur burial and chop free food... My own nah to wait here wish you RIP

Nigeriabiafra80:
If you think taking your life is the best try it and watch her
Bleep everything she sees on the street
Your kids will live to regret that decision of yours
Imagine people telling them your poor wretched dad committed suicide
The pain
The bitterness
They will end up hating you the more for making them pass through that shit
Killing your self won’t solve this
If you want try it and see
Your wife might be busy now arranging another Bleep while you want to kill your self
And I won’t even mind joining the knacking

i124k:
just tell er tu change d kind of people she chats with if u not ok with er chatting with er ex.... period....
no go kii yur self.. n mumu thing...


u neva even catch er dy fuvk another man u dy complain....
bro please calm down.... abeg
we gan wen still dy date.. we dy face challenges from girls....


only God know how dis marriage of a thing dy self....

God help us all ooo

Seyzcham91:
Although i'm not in your shoe and would never allow myself be in one cuz the way everyone handles relationship is quite different and varies from person to person

Firstly, no woman can be giving me that bullshit story of an Ex checking on her everytime and the other one coming to restaurant cuz company shits. me don't believe all these bullshit story cuz which kind play DOG DEY PLAY WITH LION as i don't TRUST VAGINA people. they are very heartless and insatiable nomatter how much you do for them and how you do it. WOMEN always like to go after better offers regardless even though the disguise of a better offer na scam na just for the man to Get inside her Pant but yet they are too fool to see that

My Advice! forget about the sucidal thought, no woman deserves it. you are blessed already man cuz you got kids. women generally are useless be it wife or girlfriend or whatever they may be. as i always tell my fellow guys. "never take any woman serious" getting too emotional makes a man too weak and redundant

Just keep playing along with your wife and act like you still don't know whats going on. even soon she might decide to leave the house and go with another stupid man fooling her promising her heaven and Earth, leave her, dont beg her, let her go, na her problem! just hold on your kids and be responsible for them cuz they are your blessings and reward from that marriage.

I Pray you get back up financially and better than before. females generally are loving when is beneficial. They associate only for the benefits, when its no longer beneficials they seek another Host to suck blood from cuz they are like Mosquito

9jaDoomCountry:
PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU INSTRUCT AT LEAST A FRIEND OR A MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY TO SNAP YOUR HANGING BODY AND COME AND SHARE IT HERE SO WE CAN GIVE YOU A GOOD NUMBER OF RIP. MEANWHILE RIP IN ADVANCE IN CASE I MISS IT WHEN THE BODY WILL BE SHARED.

ststyreal:
Op, this should have been taken to the family section. Listen my brother, you and your wife will be fine. It is a phase that must surely pass. Call your wife and reason with her. You know her more than we do. Please, don't listen to those telling you Alpha this or redpill that... Even amongst siblings, there is misunderstand. Marriage faces alot of temptations and trials because the devil knows that once the family is shattered, the children's life is in disarray. You are the head of your home, call your wife to order and make your mind known to her.
Marriage is a serious and time taken business, hence the need for patient and tolerant...
Don't ever think of any side chick because you will just end up destroying your home.
I read of a married couple committing adultery and one died in the process.
Pray seriously to God, call your wife and talk to her like a friend. Ask her, her wish and desire for the marriage and you can take it up from there.

Never contemplate sucide!

As for the quoters and bashers, remember I am only advicing the op. Only him I will respond to, hence, nobody should bother quoting me because I will not respond.
Give your own advice just as I have given mine... Peace

Plut01:
.


Some men will never learn!
You don't need a woman to be happy in life. If you feel lonely, that means you need a companion. And that companionship you can always find in children and you don't need a wife for that because baby Mama would give you that.


Many of Nigerian ladies are time bomb. I so much believe those that claimed loyalty among them are the ones that a yet to be caught!


.

PraiseDLord:
Well said!
God bless you greatly.
This is the simple solution.
He that hath an � ear, let him hear!

Hassanmaye:
Your last statement is so sarcastic you mean the woman can cook well Abi

Hassanmaye:
So wisdom in your writing but alas our boys will still be following anything in skirt

MeeztaFabulouz:
It is really terrible to feel suicidal all because of marriage. I use use to see different news of how people commit suicide because of relationships and I always felt it was so stupid to think of suicide just because of a fail relationship.

Now I have seen it all clear that depression is really very bad especially when you feel so depressed in a marriage you work so hard and do everything to protect and make your family happy. Its very painful when you know honestly inside your heart that you don't cheat on your wife, provide everything she wants for herself and the kids even when business is quite rough.

She has no conscience and no regard for our union and our home. I am a guy that don't think about looking at wife's phone or suspecting her for anything but then after our first child she changed completely and as of today I don't know were I stand anymore because of my kids. I opened a business for her just so that she won't be like a house wife but she has completely taken the business more important than the family and wake up 4am to start cooking and close 8pm at night. Stressing herself so much but always complaining business is not moving and she is not making any money.

I sponsor everything in the home though am not complaining because that's what a man should do, but she does not have regard for anything or appreciate anything I do. Can you imagine I give her money for feeding weekly even though she is running a food business, she buys few food stuffs in the house which can stay almost two weeks without us eating them because we basically feed from food she cooks in her restaurant. I decided not to bother myself and just give her money to always ensure her business is moving and at least food will not be a problem for us.

One faithful day, I decided to check her phone because I observed a certain strange behavior about her and how she likes to off her phone at night or sometimes when I am around. I saw different chats with some two guys she claimed one was her ex boyfriend that just likes to check on her once in a while, and the other guy was someone I remember like coming to eat in her restaurant but she said they went to school together and he is working with a construction company doing a building project close to her restaurant. She also claimed that when they were in school he was asking her out even till they fished school but she preferred her ex boyfriend to him and when she had issues with her ex that was when I came into her life.

If the story she told me is true or not, I wasn't really bothered anymore because I know its normal for a woman you met at 26 years to have met other guys before you and obviously still has guys that don't respect people's marriage and still do anything to sleep with a married woman. But my paid now is because I feel so respected by many of the things she does and when I think of divorce, I only feel for my kids who will now have to grow up with another man or having to visit their mum and see her with another man.

Recently I have become so depressed that I have been thinking of suicide so that my kids will know their dad is no more rather than knowing that their dad is still alive but can only be with either daddy or mummy and not as a complete family. My depression is getting worse especially when I think about all I have done for her and the kids just to always make them happy but in return, she doest appreciate or even have any regard anymore for what is called "FAMILY"

Over 7 years now and at this point I really feel suicidal. Please I really need help because I make this big mistake.

MeeztaFabulouz:
7 years of struggle to cater for and build a decent home, I have spoken so many times and to no avail. Since I was born up till this year, I hit a woman for the first time in my life. The reason is just because she did something stupid, I didn't want to get involved in any argument or fight, I just went to book a hotel room and had a quite time to myself that night till the next morning and on getting home she just attacked me saying I went to sleep with another woman.
I have given her the options so many times to go her way if she is not happy being with me but she won't go. As am writing this, I have not eaten her food since yesterday and I just got home only to see her serving me food and trying to make up but this is not the first time. I practically made her not go to the shop today and I was expecting to see that she went to the shop. When ever we talk, she listens and behave herself for a while but its like there is a spirit that comes into her and when it does, she forgets everything and only tries to bring trouble and more trouble.

Go back to your fathers house, she will not. Ok go and be with any other person that will tolerate your attitude she will not leave my house. All she does is money money money this and that. Even with her business, she does not use a dime for anything in the house aside her own stuffs.
Can you imagine she had a fight with me some time ago because I personally went to pay my kids school myself? All because I didn't give her the money to go and pay herself as I normally do?

Can you also imagine she had a fight with me one day all because I bought a jeans and slippers for myself without buying anything for her and the kids because I had bought some nice stuff for all of them including her like a week before then.

This is a woman that has never bought me even a boxers since marriage and has never gotten me anything gift for my birthday or anything but I just ignore all that and focus on making the family happy. Yet I am not happy in my home because I know what I go through especially this year that corona made things rough, I have passed through hell just to ensure my family is fine and we are not put to shame yet a matured thinking lady does not even care about anything.

Those saying I am a fool for thinking of suicide because of a woman, it is not because of the woman I am thinking of such, if you really know what depression can cause, knowing how hard you struggle to earn your money and spend it on someone who cares less for you, you will understand.

MeeztaFabulouz:
It is really terrible to feel suicidal all because of marriage. I use use to see different news of how people commit suicide because of relationships and I always felt it was so stupid to think of suicide just because of a fail relationship.

Now I have seen it all clear that depression is really very bad especially when you feel so depressed in a marriage you work so hard and do everything to protect and make your family happy. Its very painful when you know honestly inside your heart that you don't cheat on your wife, provide everything she wants for herself and the kids even when business is quite rough.

She has no conscience and no regard for our union and our home. I am a guy that don't think about looking at wife's phone or suspecting her for anything but then after our first child she changed completely and as of today I don't know were I stand anymore because of my kids. I opened a business for her just so that she won't be like a house wife but she has completely taken the business more important than the family and wake up 4am to start cooking and close 8pm at night. Stressing herself so much but always complaining business is not moving and she is not making any money.

I sponsor everything in the home though am not complaining because that's what a man should do, but she does not have regard for anything or appreciate anything I do. Can you imagine I give her money for feeding weekly even though she is running a food business, she buys few food stuffs in the house which can stay almost two weeks without us eating them because we basically feed from food she cooks in her restaurant. I decided not to bother myself and just give her money to always ensure her business is moving and at least food will not be a problem for us.

One faithful day, I decided to check her phone because I observed a certain strange behavior about her and how she likes to off her phone at night or sometimes when I am around. I saw different chats with some two guys she claimed one was her ex boyfriend that just likes to check on her once in a while, and the other guy was someone I remember like coming to eat in her restaurant but she said they went to school together and he is working with a construction company doing a building project close to her restaurant. She also claimed that when they were in school he was asking her out even till they fished school but she preferred her ex boyfriend to him and when she had issues with her ex that was when I came into her life.

If the story she told me is true or not, I wasn't really bothered anymore because I know its normal for a woman you met at 26 years to have met other guys before you and obviously still has guys that don't respect people's marriage and still do anything to sleep with a married woman. But my paid now is because I feel so respected by many of the things she does and when I think of divorce, I only feel for my kids who will now have to grow up with another man or having to visit their mum and see her with another man.

Recently I have become so depressed that I have been thinking of suicide so that my kids will know their dad is no more rather than knowing that their dad is still alive but can only be with either daddy or mummy and not as a complete family. My depression is getting worse especially when I think about all I have done for her and the kids just to always make them happy but in return, she doest appreciate or even have any regard anymore for what is called "FAMILY"

Over 7 years now and at this point I really feel suicidal. Please I really need help because I make this big mistake.