₦airaland Forum

themaestro08:
Argue all you want, and say whatever you like, still doesn't negate my stance. As for you and your manipulative gf, I don commot my hand for una matter . Your confusion just begins.

Lol

themaestro08:
The condom, the contraceptive pill, as well as the implant. Further more you have the contraceptive ring and the injection variant. All are highly effective and safe to use. It boils down to which suit you best.

Keep in mind there are many contraception pharmaceutical companies out there and quality differs.

You said it's 91% effective. I asked you to name any contraceptive drug that's 91% effective you can't.

Stop issuing out advise when you can't back it up with proof.

Those things are tash. Taking a drug to kill a sperm cell in your womb is as dangerous as drinking a full cup of salt to cure stomach ache. Of course the salt solution will work at first, but when it becomes constant, the side effects will be distastrous, that's how the contraceptives is. It definitely will work but when it becomes a routine, your womb becomes weakened and unable to retain a pregnancy.

That's why some of them like "Azurette" will clearly tell you to take it once or twice in a month. Cos they won't be held responsible when you loose your womb due to overdose.

Thinee:
I understand your point also friend, but I see everything I want in a wife in her ,just that I'm not ready for marriage, and that's why I'm also trying to have sex with her cus I don't know what might happen tomorrow, she could break up with me and the next guy she meets she gives him her virginity immediately....and I don't want that

These are words of A selfish Man.

Nazgul:
Stop seeing negativity when there is none.

A girl will leave you for the following reasons.

1. If she notices that you're a chronic cheat/womanizer.

2. You're the type who yells at her and even beat her up whenever you're angry.

3. You lie a lot and you're cunning. Most of the things you told her about yourself, are all lies.

4. You're only interested in sex. You care less about her life, dreams, visions, goals...etc.

5. You don't behave or act like someone who has a goal to achieve. You're so comfortable with your current state and show very little effort in career advancement.

6. You are very bossy, controlling, demanding.

7. She doesn't feel comfortable sharing personal secrets about herself or family with you.

8. She doesn't enjoy your company.

9. You complain and nag over irrelevant issues.

If you're guilty of one or more of these, then change cos she'll definitely leave you for a guy with much better prospects, she she won't be the only one to do so. Other girls will leave you as well.

1. I'm not , she knows all my contacts I don't even lock my phone, I even showed her my convo with a girl that wanted a relationship with me , she was ready to do all....even when I told her I had a girlfriend she said shes okay with being my second girlfriend and I should be having sex with her, my girl saw everything

2. I only yell at her....Ive never beaten her, and after I yell at her ,once I'm calm I draw her closer and fell her the reason why I acted that way....and also apologize to her


3. I'm not the kinda guys that lie about themselves because of pussy ..she knows me more than I even know her self...


4.tho I'm interested in sex, but I care about everything.... I'm even putting her through what I'm doing so she could also make money for herself........even planning on opening a store for her cus where I am is a really busy student area so I've got lot of plans

5. Not at all

6.im not bossy, tho I love been in control of my girl

7. She is ...tho not everything

8.she does enjoy it ..and even get angry sometimes when I go out with my friends, she prefers us spending time together

9. I complain I know.....but I don't see any issue as irrelevant


So I don't see any reason why she's still acting this way

Olajydeey:
These are words of A selfish Man.

Una just de say selfish selfish......what if I'm doing all and waiting for her and she ends up jilting me

I literally do all for her , i provide the feeding , when big funds comes in , I give her outta it for her upkeep even when she's staying with me...we don't sleep without gen cus of heat , even when I'm alone I still sleep without gen ...but I try to make her comfortable as ever. ......

Thinee:
1. I'm not , she knows all my contacts I don't even lock my phone, I even showed her my convo with a girl that wanted a relationship with me , she was ready to do all....even when I told her I had a girlfriend she said shes okay with being my second girlfriend and I should be having sex with her, my girl saw everything

2. I only yell at her....Ive never beaten her, and after I yell at her ,once I'm calm I draw her closer and fell her the reason why I acted that way....and also apologize to her


3. I'm not the kinda guys that lie about themselves because of pussy ..she knows me more than I even know her self...


4.tho I'm interested in sex, but I care about everything.... I'm even putting her through what I'm doing so she could also make money for herself........even planning on opening a store for her cus where I am is a really busy student area so I've got lot of plans

5. Not at all

6.im not bossy, tho I love been in control of my girl

7. She is ...tho not everything

8.she does enjoy it ..and even get angry sometimes when I go out with my friends, she prefers us spending time together

9. I complain I know.....but I don't see any issue as irrelevant


So I don't see any reason why she's still acting this way

So what is it you're afraid of? Why not wait like she suggested and focus on your business, that should be more important to you than popping her Cherry.

Nazgul:
So what is it you're afraid of? Why not wait like she suggested and focus on your business, that should be more important to you than popping her Cherry.

I'm scared of been jilted on.... I'm scared of disappointment, you know nigeria girls , their matter nor good!!.... That's what if making me scared....if she come leave me nko?

Thinee:
Una just de say selfish selfish......what if I'm doing all and waiting for her and she ends up jilting me

I literally do all for her , i provide the feeding , when big funds comes in , I give her outta it for her upkeep even when she's staying with me...we don't sleep without gen cus of heat , even when I'm alone I still sleep with gen ...but I try to make her comfortable as ever. ......

What is paining u exactly is that,you might regret it,
If after shes left u without having sex with her.
If you don't have sex with this lady,would u die?
Theres always a First time for Everything

Maybe you should let her Go back to her home town,
Then let her be visiting once in a while & you could continue satisfying your human pleasure with other ladies

Thinee:
I'm scared of been jilted on.... I'm scared of disappointment, you know nigeria girls , their matter nor good!!.... That's what if making me scared....if she come leave me nko?

Stop sounding like a child. Have you put yourself in her shoes, what if she gives you have virginity and you leave her what then? Cos from the way you're sounding here, you're the one who's most likely to abscond once you get what you want not she. That's why she's having mixed feelings towards sleeping with you cos she's even more scared than you are.

Work towards growing your relationship with her, go and see her parents, let them at least know you even if you aren't ready financially, let them know that you're serious with their daughter. Not crying everyday for her panties.

Thinee:
Met this girl early November 2019 , we were both serving corp members, we actually flowed along, talking late into the night and so on. After the festive period 2019 December we came back to our PPA and we started dating, I found out she was a virgin. I was asurprised cus I never expected a graduate to still keep her virginity till nysc, we kept on dating tho , along the line I passed out of service and went back home (p.s I reside in lagos and shes from ilorin). The distance was giving me a lot of issues so we broke up around April 2020

I've been here before . I mean the break up part. I've been there and I can relate to this story no be small .

Thinee:
Met this girl early November 2019 , we were both serving corp members, we actually flowed along, talking late into the night and so on. After the festive period 2019 December we came back to our PPA and we started dating, I found out she was a virgin. I was asurprised cus I never expected a graduate to still keep her virginity till nysc, we kept on dating tho , along the line I passed out of service and went back home (p.s I reside in lagos and shes from ilorin). The distance was giving me a lot of issues so we broke up around April 2020

Fast forward to October last year, I came back to delta state( that's where I served ) and she was almost done with her service, so things took off from there , I begged her back and we started dating once more, even tho she had a new guy she was dating ( based in ilorin also)she said she never stopped loving me and I also discovered she was still a virgin after that long period of time I left her.

We talked about everything and she said she was willing to leave the guy , and also allow me take her virginity, she went back home after her service that October, with the plan of coming back November so we could build a future together. She was also ready to give me her virginity cus we talked allot about sex even while she was away ( she was ready right from the first time we broke up ) but me going back home after my service change a lot of things.

She came back from ilorin December and we started living together, she does a lot of things , all house chores and cook also , I also assist her , especially in cooking because I also love cooking and like preparing my dishes.

We kept on postponing the time we were gon have sex, like I wanted it to be her decision , never wanted to force her. One month passed she wasn't still ready, Only for her to tell me that there's something attached to her virginity, that anyone that disvirgin her would be the person to marry her , that I have to go see her parents first before I can take her virginity. That really got me pissed off cus she knows I'm very sexually active and got a high libido, but I'm this kinda guy that sticks to one person, as far as I am getting all my needs from her......what pissed me off was the fact that she came over from ilorin to delta state knowing we weren't going to have sex and she never told me all that on phone ( probably I would have had a rethink about her coming back)

I'm 24 and shes 22 , the issue now is that tho I'm okay and I have a online job I'm doing that fetches me money atleast for upkeep and also to spare cus I live in a comfortable self con apartment with every thing I need in it..., But Ive not yet gather enough money to be able to get married, cus I don't want to bring a child into this world to suffer , so I made up my mind to be very comfortable with atleast 10 to 15million in my account before I can be able to get married so I can give my children what they need.

Now she has been staying with me up to two months now without sex ,cus I don't want to cheat on her and she's not even ready to offer the sex . I'm getting frustrated everyday with her attitude and I'm also planning of sending her back to ilorin so we can just be dating distantly till we are ready to get married and I can be free to be with any one I want to over here , cus I've got a lot of girls over here ready to be with me but I pushed all of them away cus of her , now she's no ready to give me the one thing lacking in our relationship

I don't believe in relationship without sex, cus if I'm keeping her here to get married and she ends up jilting me I'll be the one at loss....and I don't want that ...
I don't know what to do and I really want to know if sending her back to ilorin is the best option so we can date distantly, cus I really don't think if I can cope with lack of sex and I can't be with someone else cus she stays at my place

Please I need your matured advice with no insults please

P.S she's a very good girl and from a good family, and I'm also a good guy from a good family and I also wouldn't like to loss her , but my libido is telling on me

I don't and will never understand men's problem.

You want virgins as wives yet you can't be in a relationship with a virgin and not want to sex her. Is this not what they call entitlement mentality?

Imagine the stuff coming out of your mouth. You'd already plan to keep her by the side so you can be enjoying sex from other ladies and yet, I know you'd expect her to keep the virginity for you. You are a very selfish individual and I hate that this lady hasn't realised it by now. The real reason you came back to her in Delta is cause 'she's a virgin', nothing else, which explains why you're disappointed she's not giving you the honor of being the first guy. You have no plans to marry her, not now and not in the near future so don't try to deceive us with the 'I want to be comfortable' bullshit.

After all these grammar, I'm certain as I know my name that you will not marry her. So, seriously, what is she still doing with you? Break up with her right this minute and leave her be. You're only there to ruin her life.

Thinee:
I understand your point also friend, but I see everything I want in a wife in her ,just that I'm not ready for marriage, and that's why I'm also trying to have sex with her cus I don't know what might happen tomorrow, she could break up with me and the next guy she meets she gives him her virginity immediately....and I don't want that

This is entitlement mentality, guy. Her virginity is not yours. If she gives it to you, lucky you, otherwise, park one side.

Op send her away before the next market day..
My own of 4 yrs still dey pain me till today.

Op you are a very wicked somebody. U just want to use her and dump, it will never be will wit you and your generation.

Thinee:
Met this girl early November 2019 , we were both serving corp members, we actually flowed along, talking late into the night and so on. After the festive period 2019 December we came back to our PPA and we started dating, I found out she was a virgin. I was asurprised cus I never expected a graduate to still keep her virginity till nysc, we kept on dating tho , along the line I passed out of service and went back home (p.s I reside in lagos and shes from ilorin). The distance was giving me a lot of issues so we broke up around April 2020
Fast forward to October last year, I came back to delta state( that's where I served ) and she was almost done with her service, so things took off from there , I begged her back and we started dating once more, even tho she had a new guy she was dating ( based in ilorin also)she said she never stopped loving me and I also discovered she was still a virgin after that long period of time I left her.
We talked about everything and she said she was willing to leave the guy , and also allow me take her virginity, she went back home after her service that October, with the plan of coming back November so we could build a future together. She was also ready to give me her virginity cus we talked allot about sex even while she was away ( she was ready right from the first time we broke up ) but me going back home after my service change a lot of things .
She came back from ilorin December and we started living together, she does a lot of things , all house chores and cook also , I also assist her , especially in cooking because I also love cooking and like preparing my dishes.
We kept on postponing the time we were gon have sex, like I wanted it to be her decision , never wanted to force her. One month passed she wasn't still ready, Only for her to tell me that there's something attached to her virginity, that anyone that disvirgin her would be the person to marry her , that I have to go see her parents first before I can take her virginity. That really got me pissed off cus she knows I'm very sexually active and got a high libido, but I'm this kinda guy that sticks to one person, as far as I am getting all my needs from her......what pissed me off was the fact that she came over from ilorin to delta state knowing we weren't going to have sex and she never told me all that on phone ( probably I would have had a rethink about her coming back)
I'm 24 and shes 22 , the issue now is that tho I'm okay and I have a online job I'm doing that fetches me money atleast for upkeep and also to spare cus I live in a comfortable self con apartment with every thing I need in it..., But Ive not yet gather enough money to be able to get married, cus I don't want to bring a child into this world to suffer , so I made up my mind to be very comfortable with atleast 10 to 15million in my account before I can be able to get married so I can give my children what they need.
Now she has been staying with me up to two months now without sex ,cus I don't want to cheat on her and she's not even ready to offer the sex . I'm getting frustrated everyday with her attitude and I'm also planning of sending her back to ilorin so we can just be dating distantly till we are ready to get married and I can be free to be with any one I want to over here , cus I've got a lot of girls over here ready to be with me but I pushed all of them away cus of her , now she's no ready to give me the one thing lacking in our relationship
I don't believe in relationship without sex, cus if I'm keeping her here to get married and she ends up jilting me I'll be the one at loss....and I don't want that ...
I don't know what to do and I really want to know if sending her back to ilorin is the best option so we can date distantly, cus I really don't think if I can cope with lack of sex and I can't be with someone else cus she stays at my place
Please I need your matured advice with no insults please

P.S she's a very good girl and from a good family, and I'm also a good guy from a good family and I also wouldn't like to loss her , but my libido is telling on me

There are quite a number of good girls living in Ilorin. Have worked there before. Ilorin is a good place.

Nazgul:
[s][/s]You said it's 91% effective. I asked you to name any contraceptive drug that's 91% effective you can't.

Stop issuing out advise when you can't back it up with proof.

Those things are tash. Taking a drug to kill a sperm cell in your womb is as dangerous as drinking a full cup of salt to cure stomach ache. Of course the salt solution will work at first, but when it becomes constant, the side effects will be distastrous, that's how the contraceptives is. It definitely will work but when it becomes a routine, your womb becomes weakened and unable to retain a pregnancy.

That's why some of them like "Azurette" will clearly tell you to take it once or twice in a month. Cos they won't be held responsible when you loose your womb due to overdose [s][/s].

After pill and plan-b one step are highly effective. You are literally a fool(no apology) for saying things you know nothing about. Educate your ignorant ass, save your energy and never in your dumb life quote me to say rubbish .

Olajydeey:
What is paining u exactly is that,you might regret it,
If after shes left u without having sex with her.
If you don't have sex with this lady,would u die?
Theres always a First time for Everything

Maybe you should let her Go back to her home town,
Then let her be visiting once in a while & you could continue satisfying your human pleasure with other ladies

I won't deny this , I'm scared of that also ...but on the other hand I won't die if she doesn't agree, but she letting me know we were gon be doing that and she came to say something else is what is pissing me off...for the fact that she is staying in my house and I'm taking care of her is also something not everyone can do .....so if after all this she tend stop leave me what will I do

Nazgul:
Stop sounding like a child. Have you put yourself in her shoes, what if she gives you have virginity and you leave her what then? Cos from the way you're sounding here, you're the one who's most likely to abscond once you get what you want not she. That's why she's having mixed feelings towards sleeping with you cos she's even more scared than you are.

Work towards growing your relationship with her, go and see her parents, let them at least know you even if you aren't ready financially, let them know that you're serious with their daughter. Not crying everyday for her panties.

This is what I'll do then , thanks

Op send her away before the next market day..
My own of 4 yrs still dey pain me till today.

Sixfeetbelle:
I don't and will never understand men's problem.

You want virgins as wives yet you can't be in a relationship with a virgin and not want to sex her. Is this not what they call entitlement mentality?

Imagine the stuff coming out of your mouth. You'd already plan to keep her by the side so you can be enjoying sex from other ladies and yet, I know you'd expect her to keep the virginity for you. You are a very selfish individual and I hate that this lady hasn't realised it by now. The real reason you came back to her in Delta is cause 'she's a virgin', nothing else, which explains why you're disappointed she's not giving you the honor of being the first guy. You have no plans to marry her, not now and not in the near future so don't try to deceive us with the 'I want to be comfortable' bullshit.

After all these grammar, I'm certain as I know my name that you will not marry her. So, seriously, what is she still doing with you? Break up with her right this minute and leave her be. You're only there to ruin her life.

I swear I didn't force her to come back, she decided to come back herself , cus we are in a relationship, it was her decision, I only asked her to decide herself....and she made it as if we were gon be having self when she came back......like if she even told me she won't , I would have rethink asking her to come back, so Its her fault not mine.......
I didn't hide anything from her , I told her what I wanted and all ...she accepted so why al this again?

themaestro08:
After pill and plan-b one step are highly effective. You are literally a fool(no apology) for saying things you know nothing about. Educate your ignorant ass, save your energy and never in your dumb life quote me to say rubbish .

Please go back to school, I don't have the strength to start schooling a stark illiterate. Also learn to read and understand properly before dumping your frustration on me.

I never said pills weren't effective I said taking them excessively can lead to harmful side effects. I even gave you a particular drug which is clearly written that you mustn't take it more than twice in a month. Meaning regardless of how many times the girl has sex in the month the chemical components of the drug she took once or twice, can sustain her and eliminate the sperm cells deposited in her vagina.

Sometimes fear can make some girls ignore the warning and take more than the required dosage, thereby exposing their womb to possible damage.

Some worm medicines are like that, the instruction written clearly is that you take it every 6months, that's the required dosage, taking more than what is written will definitely lead to complications.

Next time learn to read. It won't cost you anything.

adedotun69229:
Op send her away before the next market day..
My own of 4 yrs still dey pain me till today.

Can you brief us how yours happened please so that those here will understand what I'm saying also please?

Thinee:
This is what I'll do then , thanks

You're welcome. Good luck.

asdfjklhaha:
Op you are a very wicked somebody. U just want to use her and dump, it will never be will wit you and your generation.

It will be well with me and my generation , do you think its easy ...we are all humans for crying out loud!!!.....I didn't do her wrong and she caused all that is happening, cus if she let me know from start her stand ....I would have had a rethink if I wanted that or not ......so stop abusing or cursing , I'm sure you can't do without sex also

A girl that held her virginity till NYSC

Guy forget, your prick no go near that Kpekus till you go see her mama and papa

JOACHINpedro:
A girl that held her virginity till NYSC

Guy forget, your prick no go near that Kpekus till you go see her mama and papa

But she wanted to give me that a long time ago, I'm the one that rejected cus I felt she was under duress, cus that day we had issues so she woke me up at night and wanted me to do it.....I declined cus she wasn't her self....

Thinee:
But she wanted to give me that a long time ago, I'm the one that rejected cus I felt she was under duress, cus that day we had issues so she woke me up at night and wanted me to do it.....I declined cus she wasn't her self....

Long time ago when Reno never say anything about virginity.
Guy, all the virgins I know now dy package themselves for marriage. It's now their selling point. Your fellow guys don dy wife them with the speed of light.
I don't blame her though.


But try dy manage the romance she dy give na, or rather you can try Semen retention to put your libido in check

Thinee:
Met this girl early November 2019 , we were both serving corp members, we actually flowed along, talking late into the night and so on. After the festive period 2019 December we came back to our PPA and we started dating, I found out she was a virgin. I was asurprised cus I never expected a graduate to still keep her virginity till nysc, we kept on dating tho , along the line I passed out of service and went back home (p.s I reside in lagos and shes from ilorin). The distance was giving me a lot of issues so we broke up around April 2020
Fast forward to October last year, I came back to delta state( that's where I served ) and she was almost done with her service, so things took off from there , I begged her back and we started dating once more, even tho she had a new guy she was dating ( based in ilorin also)she said she never stopped loving me and I also discovered she was still a virgin after that long period of time I left her.
We talked about everything and she said she was willing to leave the guy , and also allow me take her virginity, she went back home after her service that October, with the plan of coming back November so we could build a future together. She was also ready to give me her virginity cus we talked allot about sex even while she was away ( she was ready right from the first time we broke up ) but me going back home after my service change a lot of things .
She came back from ilorin December and we started living together, she does a lot of things , all house chores and cook also , I also assist her , especially in cooking because I also love cooking and like preparing my dishes.
We kept on postponing the time we were gon have sex, like I wanted it to be her decision , never wanted to force her. One month passed she wasn't still ready, Only for her to tell me that there's something attached to her virginity, that anyone that disvirgin her would be the person to marry her , that I have to go see her parents first before I can take her virginity. That really got me pissed off cus she knows I'm very sexually active and got a high libido, but I'm this kinda guy that sticks to one person, as far as I am getting all my needs from her......what pissed me off was the fact that she came over from ilorin to delta state knowing we weren't going to have sex and she never told me all that on phone ( probably I would have had a rethink about her coming back)
I'm 24 and shes 22 , the issue now is that tho I'm okay and I have a online job I'm doing that fetches me money atleast for upkeep and also to spare cus I live in a comfortable self con apartment with every thing I need in it..., But Ive not yet gather enough money to be able to get married, cus I don't want to bring a child into this world to suffer , so I made up my mind to be very comfortable with atleast 10 to 15million in my account before I can be able to get married so I can give my children what they need.
Now she has been staying with me up to two months now without sex ,cus I don't want to cheat on her and she's not even ready to offer the sex . I'm getting frustrated everyday with her attitude and I'm also planning of sending her back to ilorin so we can just be dating distantly till we are ready to get married and I can be free to be with any one I want to over here , cus I've got a lot of girls over here ready to be with me but I pushed all of them away cus of her , now she's no ready to give me the one thing lacking in our relationship
I don't believe in relationship without sex, cus if I'm keeping her here to get married and she ends up jilting me I'll be the one at loss....and I don't want that ...
I don't know what to do and I really want to know if sending her back to ilorin is the best option so we can date distantly, cus I really don't think if I can cope with lack of sex and I can't be with someone else cus she stays at my place
Please I need your matured advice with no insults please

P.S she's a very good girl and from a good family, and I'm also a good guy from a good family and I also wouldn't like to loss her , but my libido is telling on me

please let leave advise someone. Which online job are you into? Help a brother

Thinee:
So what you are saying is that I should just try to Bleep her then as we can't get married ..so I don't loss on both side ??

What do u mean "lose on both sides"??

Is sex an achievement?
Will u die if u don't have sex with her?
If you have sex with her and failed to marry her and she curse you... don't be surprised if ur life never balance again

All I see here is selfishness

I can bet my left hairy ball that after this OP have his way btw her legs.... he'll forget about future blah blah blah bullshit he's talking about

This OP said he's never been with a virgin....I guess he's just craving for the fantasy of taking the virginity of a girl , nothing special about that

Thinee:
Una just de say selfish selfish......what if I'm doing all and waiting for her and she ends up jilting me

I literally do all for her , i provide the feeding , when big funds comes in , I give her outta it for her upkeep even when she's staying with me...we don't sleep without gen cus of heat , even when I'm alone I still sleep without gen ...but I try to make her comfortable as ever. ......

Did she force u to do all these??

Last time I checked, she can take care of herself since she's still serving... at least allawee go dey enter

All u want is the coochie


Ask urself this question "will she be happy to see what's coming out of ur mouth right now"


If u rape her....14yrs imprisonment, shattered dreams just for just 5mins pleasure, by that time ur eyes go clear

All I see is a selfish individual

Thinee:
If while having sex she gets pregnant, then good luck and goodness also , but I'm not even talking of condoms, I dated a girl for 2years + while growing up, I don't think we used condoms more than 5 times in a period of 2 years , she has a very high libido more than me, she never got pregnant until at the end of our relationship and she decided to terminate it herself even tho I wanted her to keep it.......I told her twas her decision and I was ready for whatever she thought was right

What I'm saying is that we could have sex without her getting pregnant, I'm almost perfect at withdrawing and I despise condoms that's why I don't have random sex just one person is enough for me..

You ain't thinking to her own end , what if she ends up with someone else after I've waited for her or she ends up sleeping with someone else ?? Or leaving me what will I do, knowing I didn't have sex with her and she left for another person

Guy. Your problem are two things:

1) LUST - wanna be the first to smash the pussy.


2) GREED - you don't want another rod to cum inside the pussy till you've had enough of your own share...right?

My brother. That's an evil thought you have there. Repent.

Thinee:
I'm not sick my friend, maybe when you are in my shoes you will understand what I'm talking about

Imagine that lady na your sister, which advice you go give your sister in a scenerio like this? Now carry that advice give this your girl now in all sincerity...
Let her go please with her virginity, i beg you with all that is dear to you...