Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

seanwilliam:
retreat! Officer retreat !

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

TheOnlyUyai:


That wasn't his first visit, Acidosis.

zealousayo:


Didn't you see where the Op said the guy did not come empty handed on his first visit?

Regex:


It was not the first time he visited. He has visited before.

bukatyne:


It was not the first visit.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Gkemz:
Your entitlement mentality is wrong. Inasmuch it's expected of him to buy a present for your mum while visiting but it should not be made mandatory. I believe he has been giving you all the while and because he failed to give your mum a present in his visit, you want to ruin this relationship. I'm sure this is his first visit to your mum and will continue to visit her afterwards. Don't judge a book by its first cover page.

Noblewealth:
I had similar experience last 2years although before I left, I visited the nearest store to get the mother some stuff but before then the mother had listed what I must be doing on a regular basis for her, she said I must make sure I support her for ongoing edu programm, atleast give her money for upkeep everyweek, make her new hair and also change her wadrope..

naso I japa, the woman was just mentioning responsibilities like say I dey work for world bank.. Till now the girl never marry.. African mother's will their entitlement mentality.. your mum made the wrong decision and she doesn't want you to marry early by the time you clock 35 she won't even collect toiletries.. person wey no do now, go do much later..

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Hathor5:


Like I said, they will appreciate it though not expect or demand it.

The Preservation of Culture Committee will disagree.

Hahahaha. This cracked me up. Custodians that'll want to infuse individualistic norms in communal African setting tomorrow. A compromise might be possible oh, but there are bound to be clashes. If you're upholding culture that says you're marrying into a family and you must always honour them with gifts - will you accept the whole family interfering in your decisions to get pregnant, raise and name children, relocate faraway for your autonomy, have sex, spend money and the way assets you both have will be shared after the demise of either partner when the time comes?

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

colestephan86:

You are a fool.
Even if he is not going to marry the babe , how much is a bottle of non alcoholic wine.
You are seeing an elderly Person for the first time. What did he go there to discuss with the woman.

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

SURElee:
Things should be handled with maturity.
Whatever your mum doesn't get from your man today, she can get more in future and with love from him.
Since your mum showed displeasure, I expected you to buy something and present it on his behalf and later tell him about it rather than call to confront him.

Now, what if this young had paid so much bills for the month and was flat broke? As a fiancée, has he been communicaPeaceting about his finance with you. My dear, wisdom is profitable to direct, the marriage never start and gifts want to ruin it?

Handle things with wisdom dear.

Peace!

Torontoraptors:


Hey dear. Your mom did nothing wrong. She is not hungry, neither does that show sign of poverty. Ignore all these high school kids behind phone keypads batching you left, right and center. Many of them are ill trained wannabes. A Responsible young man coming to meet your parents should have at least brought a bottle of non alcoholic wine with him. Over here, you won’t dare visit the family of the girl you intend to date without at least a bottle of wine. You will be disgraced. Whites know to respectfully disgrace you. Does that mean the family is poor or can not afford the wine? NO. It is called. Courtesy. Can you attend a business dinner at your boss’s house without at least a bottle of wine? NO.
Would you visit your village traditional ruler without a bottle of liquor? NO
So why would any sensible young man visit his future inlaws empty handed? It is a sign of gross irresponsibility.
You tend to wonder why moral is fast going into extinction in Nigeria. Reason is not far fetched. Ill raised kids everywhere from poorly raised parents Watching too many movies. Disrespectful wannabes. You can not give what you do not have. Poorly trained parents can not pass morals down to their wards.

My 2 cents for you
1. Keep your private life off social media. Not everything you bring to the public
2. Stay away from that young man. He is a bad omen. If he thinks your family is hungry and poor, did he train you till this time? Did he pay your school fees to now? Did he feed you till now?

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,