Lashist:
l
Lol...i mean if he brings 19 times and didnt bring for once out of the 20times, everyone will complain

No one will complain if he doesn't bring that one time in 20 times. But surely people will complain if he doesn't bring in his second visit.

I sha have seen from this thread that this thing is about upbringing, but it may transcend into nonchalance if not checked. A guy who gets a free pass for not bringing gifts when visiting his future in-laws may end up not bothering to bring a gift at their wedding anniversary or celebration.

DrMeroThaEmperor:

The more you type, the more you get us angry.


If I were you, I will beg the mods to help delete this entire thread.


You didn't handle the situation well.

I'm sure your mum was only joking and you missed the humour.

I'm sure she'll be disappointed that you even confronted him the way you did.

why should I beg the mods to delete the thread. I don't know anyone of you from Adam. The comments are very helpful. It will never be well with anyone that insulted me and my mum. Especially my mother. They will never grow old

TransAtlanticEx:
Lol more examples of the independent women that cococandy and co have been preaching about that litter everywhere in Nigeria.
One was even telling me yesterday how U25 women with good careers are everywhere in Naija,that I should change my circle
She almost stab her fiance because the guy no buy her mama bread.
Can you believe this?
Imagine what will happen if you marry his one and somehow forget to drop food money in the morning...

Haha All of them are parasites regardless of their own money that's why a woman with money will never ever marry in Nigeria because of their selfishness, until they find the son of billgate

SweetCunt97:
Guy calm down na. Do what makes you happy. Simply catching cruise here oo. Lolzz.

no be mata of cruise sha. On a n0rmal, na little things like this dy strain relati0nships. N0thing m0re. In laws getting into relati0nships and so on. H0nestly, the mama no try and the babe ma mess up. Which gift the man want give the mama wey go last till eternity b4 the w0man want ruin the pikin relati0nship. Make we no dy do pass ourselves abeg and carry judgmental eyes fr0m people.

TransAtlanticEx:
Swears
I always tell people to avoid poor women as much as possible,it's for reason like this.
Personally I'd rather die single than have anything to do with this class of women.
Bread for that matter,Ha!

Hahah Lol

A Nigerian lazy ass woman with her sense of entitlements is like bread and butter... Spits! May I never see these type of low leeches. Amen.

OdenKelechi:


Na this kain people go marry and allow their mother dictate their relationship and eventually ruin it... Fuckkk

as in eh from there pastor house day in day out not knowing d issue is the mother

GayPontiff:




This post and iberibe.

Now I see why Africans are tot to live on trees like monkeys.
The young man truly deserves better.
His good behavior and other characteristics a mother would want for her daughter should be overlooked and replaced with his inability to bring stuff she will shit out next morning abi?
They ain't married yet o?
I was even expecting to see her say she sided her bf on d matter but now it has turned to serious beef.
Aunty will loose a good man and you are blaming being Africa for this irrational behaviour?
She should go and apologize to him, the boy owes her mom nothing! Not at least till marriage is sure.
He is manly to have even visited the woman.
Wherever he is may good fortunes locate him.

Lol African ladies and entitlement mentality

Trayceey:
why should I beg the mods to delete the thread. I don't know anyone of you from Adam. The comments are very helpful. It will never be well with anyone that insulted me and my mum. Especially my mother. They will never grow old

Shut the fuc k up you unmature leech... Lazy ass beach

Sixfeetbelle:


No one will complain if he doesn't bring that one time in 20 times. But surely people will complain if he doesn't bring in his second visit.

I sha have seen from this thread that this thing is about upbringing, but it may transcend into nonchalance if not checked. A guy who gets a free pass for not bringing gifts when visiting his future in-laws may end up not bothering to bring a gift at their wedding anniversary or celebration.

because the wedding anniversary gift if for the mother shey

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Hahha bread o for that matter, na them o let the guy run, na there type will come lodge for your house and continue they suck you up

Trayceey:
why should I beg the mods to delete the thread. I don't know anyone of you from Adam. The comments are very helpful. It will never be well with anyone that insulted me and my mum. Especially my mother. They will never grow old

ur mother is very stupid to bring up a daughter dat cant think for her self.

You made a big mistake bringing this issue to nairaland, a home of mad people, drunkards, nitwits, jobless, hopeless and frustrated people. People without home training who lack respect for the elderly. Don't make the same mistakes again. Their opinions don't count.

Magnoliaa:


Hahahaha. This cracked me up. Custodians that'll want to infuse individualistic norms in communal African setting tomorrow. A compromise might be possible oh, but there are bound to be clashes. If you're upholding culture that says you're marrying into a family and you must always honour them with gifts - will you accept the whole family interfering in your decisions to get pregnant, raise and name children, relocate faraway for your autonomy, have sex, spend money and the way assets you both have will be shared after the demise of either partner when the time comes?

I thought I was funny myself too.

I can understand the love of culture and the fact that Africans no longer want to be patronized by Western values and norms. I hold some of 'our' traditions very dear, family traditions in particular. However, there is not one single culture. Even on this very thread Igbos disagree on the matter at hand. Therefore, as you said, there can only be a minimal consensus as to what 'our culture' is. And we should stop the paranoia that the West is imposing their culture on us, especially if we choose to practice Christianity instead of traditional African religions and if we are not even sure how Westerners live because our cultures are similar in many ways, e.g. the bringing of gifts. I found it funny that some people were saying that we should stop acting like Westerners not even knowing that they bring gifts too when they visit.

Instead we should promote our cultural goodies as best as we can, music, fashion, food, you name it. It is no longer Westernization but globalization. Westerners are also influenced by other cultures. I have a friend who asked us to help her plan her wedding and by doing so integrate some of our customs into it. This is a white couple. They visited a Nigerian wedding last year and were in awe of the way we celebrated it and the atmosphere surrounding it. I know plenty of people who have adopted Eastern religions such as Buddhism and there is basically no bigger city on this earth where you will not find Chinese food or Japanese sushi. Personally, I consider the influence of other cultures as enriching and not threatening. I pick what I want and ignore the rest. I can never be a slave to cultural norms that do not make sense to me.

Hathor5:
You should have never told your boyfriend what your mother said. BIG mistake!
Even if you mend the relationship with him, he will feel different about her from now on and I can't blame him.
Expecting people to always give you something every time they visit is pure greed or the result of poverty. I don't know which one it is in your case.

First Lady that speak the truth I'm glad

stupidmod2:
because the wedding anniversary gift if for the mother shey

The couple has the gift nah but in the case she's a widow nko? Who gets the gift on her birthday celebration?

stupidmod2:
ur mother is very stupid to bring up a daughter dat cant think for her self.

you have brought a big curse upon your life. Useless child raised by a LovePeddler

Minemrys:

n0t poverty i can assure you. Being poor isn't an excuse.

I didn't think it was an excuse. I was asking myself why someone would make a big deal of something as petty as this? The young man brought a gift on his first visit. Why does he have to bring a gift on every visit? What if he visits thrice a week like we visit the elders in my family because they need help with shopping, cooking and cleaning?

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Savage reply!

Hassanmaye:

First Lady that speak the truth I'm glad

But not the only lady here.

Afromentalist:

Please give me the contact of your ex fiance. He needs to be congratulated and warned against ever getting back in this toxic relationship where a stupid and non discerning Lady will disrespect him hang up on him because her mother was too greedy to appreciate common courtesy.

Nonsense and ingredients

lol imagine a good guy that's hard to find in present day Nigeria, and the guy has been visiting her o with things, only this time madam is complaining, that's why majority of Nigerian ladies live in toxic relationship because the guy can afford bread made beat her ass up everyday but she is contented since there is bread haha

stupidmod2:
ur mother is very stupid to bring up a daughter dat cant think for her self.

My mummy that will even cook christmas rice for any of my sisters husbands that comes visiting and leaves without dropping anything yet everyone in the house including my mum will be happy. Gosh this op and her mum disgusts alot... Spits!

Anyiiii:
you have brought a big curse upon your life. Useless child raised by a LovePeddler

why because u n a very stupid entitled old fool n her daughter thinks d world revolve around them

stupidmod2:
why because u n a very stupid entitled old fool n her daughter thinks d world revolve around them

It will never be well with you for insulting an elderly woman

Anyiiii:
you have brought a big curse upon your life. Useless child raised by a LovePeddler

Please what criteria did u use to know that stupidmod2 has brought course upon himself? Smh!

Op you could have covered for your BF by saying you asked him not to bother. It’s a bit embarrassing for your mum to be expecting something from a stranger. Instead she should.have chatted with him more to get to know him more. Your BF sounds like a decent guy.

Anyiiii:
You made a big mistake bringing this issue to nairaland, a home of mad people, drunkards, nitwits, jobless, hopeless and frustrated people. People without home training who lack respect for the elderly. Don't make the same mistakes again. Their opinions don't count.

it will never be well with anyone that insulted the op's mum. Disrespectful bastards. That is how they bring curses upon their lives

stupidmod2:
ur mother is very stupid to bring up a daughter dat cant think for her self.

Learn to think first before u talk.

fineboynl:
what drink did she gave the man that she tag only her drink? I bet you it's a bottle of malt or beer. that man might not even needed it but out of courtesy he accepted it. so the drink should na be something great that he offered him? the man would not have complained even if she didn't offer him anything.

@bolded

You and I both know that's a baseless assumption.

Anyiiii:
It will never be well with you for insulting an elderly woman

which useless elder, isnt buhari n d rest of the old fools elder what make u think d older one gets d wiser they become, hmmm plz tell me

extol1:

oga, that was not the first time he is visiting them

if that's the case, then ordinary 5k will be OK for the mother in law to be, those money is not up to money we spend with friends for beer parlour or for some babes