Trayceey:
that's your family and not mine

will you keep quiet?

Afromentalist:

Had he brought the 250 bread, she would have been complaining that he only bought bread to the mom.

The lady has already acknowledged that the guy is not visiting for the first time, and has been bringing gifts the other times. Moreover, the visit was not planned, he actually went to visit the girl, but on realising she is not there, he just decided to branch and say hi.

Are people so greedy that the only pertinent thing to look for in a visit is a gift?

at all , at all na bad pass.... nor be so??

BOSMANARIS:


And it is a must to always do at every single time you visit her.

Do you know of the guys financial strength?

Do you want him to go steal cos he want to get her something when he visits?

Oga even if na #250 bread. e nor mean

Sixfeetbelle:


No one will complain if he doesn't bring that one time in 20 times. But surely people will complain if he doesn't bring in his second visit.

I sha have seen from this thread that this thing is about upbringing, but it may transcend into nonchalance if not checked. A guy who gets a free pass for not bringing gifts when visiting his future in-laws may end up not bothering to bring a gift at their wedding anniversary or celebration.

Lol...you go dey wicked...if you will complain cus he didnt get your family gifts on second visit, you will also complain if he doesnt bring gifts once out of 20 times...but always remember, ur bf doesnt owe you gifts...any gift is out of freewill...no be force

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Seriously, very sad, you guy expect him to take things along with him anytime he comes visit.

He is trying to be family now, my in-laws visit my family and it's just normal, we all gist and laugh and dey leave ooo. There are family not gift producing machine

U sef, with all due respect wisdom is actually far from u,

Later u guys will start complaining that man is scarce to marry.

All I see is big amateur baby. This is something that concerns u, do u really care about him?

u did not act wise at all, from the beginning of your story to the end lacks wisdom!

If it is only one instance that u displayed lack of wisdom I will say OKAY,

but I can count upto five instances u clearly displayed a total lack of wisdom.

This is disturbing! Granted your fiance messed up in not bringing anything along.

Moderator please mind the way u push these kind of threads to front-page.

TransAtlanticEx:
They can delete it if they want to,we've already identified the entitled,hungry,downtrodden,leeching,poverty stricken women amongst us and their cohorts .
People weh dey complain of ordinary malt weh them give person,yet go dey form useless solidarity for NL.
Na this kind women go maltreat househelp ehn....

Haha

sapporo:






Bro its a "will" thing, no doctrine/culture stipulate you must bring gift. question of right or wrong doesnt play.
The most important thing a mother should be all about is ensure her daughter marries a gud man. gift is not the priority
I don't blame the mother and i won't blame the guy, the only person wrong here is the Op, instead of attacking her boyfriend she should have find a better way to give the guy heads up.

a call like; babe i notice you didnt come with any goodies to the house, i would love you to get something for mom o! no matter how small .. you can never tell these old people. laugh about it, a reasonable man wil get the message.

Lol so intelligent and straight to the point, the problem is most people don't use their God given brain to think, just imagine if she said this it will have been over, but no she went up to hanging up his phone, Any girl that hang up my phone I will never marry her, my ex try that nonsense with me, I just japa me that I be alpha.

TransAtlanticEx:
No it's not just a yoruba thing oo.
I am an Anambra man 100%,in 2004 after my sister's husband has come for introduction and all,my sister travelled for her studies.
My mom was always sending food to his house,almost everyday.I use to be the one going there to drop the food cos we lived like 2km apart so I know.
Sometimes my immediate older sister.
Then the guy was still struggling(not poor but still hustling),he didn't have a car,my mom gave him one of the cars in the house that wasn't really doing anything(toyota carina II ) just because he saw him untop okada in a commercial town they both do business in(you know how dangerous okada was seen in that era),he used till about 2005 when he bought his own car and returned ours which he had already scrapped(nobody complain!) because he used it for business.
My mother had plenty trucks because she was a trader,my sister's husband stopped paying transport for goods because he can always come home and take anyone he likes and just buy diesel and tip the driver rather than chartering a truck(All because of marriage ooo still at introductory level).
Na em one clown here dey say its igbo culture to always carry gift to their homes bla bla bla...
It's not igbo culture abeg,speak for your clan.
Do you know how stupid you will look to take provisions to go and visit a well to do family?Like you come and park and start offloading rice and tomato with milo
So disrespectful!!!
The only thing you can give these set of people is whiskey or champagne(to the father) or Cuban cohibars if he smokes and maybe clothe to the mom(hollandis) or cash gift.
Anything else is outright stupid and disrespectful for well-off families.

Can you please give me the address of your family house, do you have a sister, na the type of your family men they hustle for now o

TransAtlanticEx:
No it's not just a yoruba thing oo.
I am an Anambra man 100%,in 2004 after my sister's husband has come for introduction and all,my sister travelled for her studies.
My mom was always sending food to his house,almost everyday.I use to be the one going there to drop the food cos we lived like 2km apart so I know.
Sometimes my immediate older sister.
Then the guy was still struggling(not poor but still hustling),he didn't have a car,my mom gave him one of the cars in the house that wasn't really doing anything(toyota carina II ) just because he saw him untop okada in a commercial town they both do business in(you know how dangerous okada was seen in that era),he used till about 2005 when he bought his own car and returned ours which he had already scrapped(nobody complain!) because he used it for business.
My mother had plenty trucks because she was a trader,my sister's husband stopped paying transport for goods because he can always come home and take anyone he likes and just buy diesel and tip the driver rather than chartering a truck(All because of marriage ooo still at introductory level).
Na em one clown here dey say its igbo culture to always carry gift to their homes bla bla bla...
It's not igbo culture abeg,speak for your clan.
Do you know how stupid you will look to take provisions to go and visit a well to do family?Like you come and park and start offloading rice and tomato with milo
So disrespectful!!!
The only thing you can give these set of people is whiskey or champagne(to the father) or Cuban cohibars if he smokes and maybe clothe to the mom(hollandis) or cash gift.
Anything else is outright stupid and disrespectful for well-off families.

Well done to your family better family and yes I can confirm this cus I am married to someone from Anambra. They are over wonderful Inlaw’s to the core, I don’t recall how many times I carry gift give anyone. Her brother just sent my mother foodstuff out of the blues for no reason.

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

You sound dumber than her mother...

Spits..

We are Africans so we're stupid.. Let keep being fooolish

We are Africans so at a certain age we put our hands in fire, so lets follow blindly

Spits again

Trayceey:
that's your family and not mine

Fsct you've exposed the poverty mentality in your family.. Weather you get money or not.. I doubt you have any money.. Its not a sin though


You're man needs to dodge you.. Your wahala is too much, i guess it stems from poverty, you don't have a mind of your own.. Youd harras the guy when you marry, by bringing your mums "loving" opinion over common sense you should have.. This is the sin.. The mam deserves better

oshorstan:


Oga even if na #250 bread. e nor mean

What if he's not having extra ₦250 for that purpose.

Something she's gonna eat and end up in toilet.

Where do we put human and physical bond and that we cherish monetary and gifts above them.

Money and gift will finish, na human go remain.

BusinessCity:



His action and I actions are reflections of his character and composure.

From the comments on this thread I now believed that most NL female esp Nigerian girls are broke, lazy and self entitled, they don't deserve a kobo.
Is very clear why most yahoo boys are booming.

Fiscus105:



For him to come to in-law house, not his own martenal house o ,empty handed not even when he is yet to marry their daughter Is enough to know one character, don't forget he also got angry instead of remorse when she told him how her mother felt, such fiance is animal in human skin.

If she ever marries him she will regret

For the first time in my life I will agree that Most Nigeria girls are lazy and are self entitled with nothing to offer in a healthy relationship or marriage.

iamL:


For the first time in my life I will agree that Most Nigeria girls are lazy and are self entitled with nothing to offer in a healthy relationship or marriage.

The only thing Nigeria ladies has to offer is pu.ssy. Aside that, so useless

spirul77:
even if he's the husband, he's not supposed to be coming to her In Law's house with "full hands" na, so person wey no get money no fit greet him in-law again?
If I were the guy I would just japa now because I'm not married yet you are expecting full hand what if I come marry you ni? That means na me go Dey pay your siblings school fees, your mumsy church levy and etc

laslas you turn NGO

BOSMANARIS:


You're the idiot here for not reading to understand the OP said that's not the first visit.
First visit, he brought gifts

Fool even at that .
Some idiots like you are here calling
her names even when he ate in her house yet you all see nothing wrong in not coming with gift , had he gone there and they offered him nothing how would you all see it .
No matter how broke you are at least you can still avoid the smallest of gift even if is groundnut is still something. Ode!

MejiLoyon:

Can I tell you something no one has told you before?



You are very stupid

Is really a shame that uptil now you don't know that you are foolish .
Wish you all practice what you say here .

BOSMANARIS:


You're the idiot here for not reading to understand the OP said that's not the first visit.
First visit, he brought gifts

Idiot I even thought you have sense seff.
She never mentioned whether he has visited before or not here.
Besides what is wrong in buying something for your in-law to be .
If he see something wrong in buying her something while coming and then sees nothing wrong in eating or drinking in her house "in-law" I guess you are the fool here .
What if he had come from a far distance and they offered him nothing how would he see it .
No matter the size of the gift it is still a gift .
Besides what is he going to her house to do when he knows his woman isn't around .
Head of SIMPS !

GayPontiff:




This post and iberibe.

Now I see why Africans are tot to live on trees like monkeys.
The young man truly deserves better.
His good behavior and other characteristics a mother would want for her daughter should be overlooked and replaced with his inability to bring stuff she will shit out next morning abi?
They ain't married yet o?
I was even expecting to see her say she sided her bf on d matter but now it has turned to serious beef.
Aunty will loose a good man and you are blaming being Africa for this irrational behaviour?
She should go and apologize to him, the boy owes her mom nothing! Not at least till marriage is sure.
He is manly to have even visited the woman.
Wherever he is may good fortunes locate him.

Even the white people you immite still go long with a gift , is either a flower or a wine or as little as cup of sweet or cake .
Stop immitating nonsense .
You are African and you can't erase it so is high time you start living as one .

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

I love you so so much .
You see all them yarning sh#t here are all from poor homes .
How on earth can somebody in his right sense see a gift as wrong.
Once visited my uncle , he is very rich so I was wondering what to buy for him and besides he doesn't accept visit or eat in people's house but I was very glad that he asked his wife to wash the apples I bought him and started eating them while I was there .
I study German language and I love their way of life .
Do you know that remaining your food after being served is very wrong but we see it here as nothing .
When you are served and you finished everything it gives it cook a different joy to want to do more but here is different.

ststyreal:

Mbanuuu, aunty Tracey you fail am for here... Since he has come before and with something too, you shouldn't have informed him that your mum is angry about him coming empty handed....
I think he is a nice and free guy who just want to acclamatize with your family.
Go and apologize to him and next time make sure you are around anytime he is coming to see your parents again.

Apology my foot !
If I may ask why did he go there exactly , even when she told him that she wouldn't be around .
He still went and the woman gladly gave him her drink he drank and felt comfortable with it if she had brought food he would have still eat .
Sometimes i feel so ashamed for people since they have no face let me be ashamed for them.

ceeceeuwa:

Even #250 bread, the Bobo no fit buy!
Their hate for women on this forum won't make them see reasons.

I don't think is hatred .
You know what I think , I think is lack of home training .
Even as a child during Christmas once we all come together as family we always visit my grandma's sisters house we always go with a gift like palm wine , kola , fowl etc , and then they will sever us food and also gift us while we are going back.
There is nothing wrong in gifting . This is Africa we should behave as one .
Could remember some year back we visited my cousin's husband's home town .We went with wine , birds @ fowls , bitter kola , kola and many other things .
Even though he is madly rich he was glad that we came with those gifts is not even as if he will eat any of them seff but he will show them off to his friends and then ask his cooks to prepare them for visitors .
You wouldn't belief what we went home with that day for just gifting him those things .

Exodora:

Fool even at that .
Some idiots like you are here calling
her names even when he ate in her house yet you all see nothing wrong in not coming with gift , had he gone there and they offered him nothing how would you all see it .
No matter how broke you are at least you can still avoid the smallest of gift even if is groundnut is still something. Ode!

I understand your plight and we know your type.
No need to reply this cos the write ups really revealed your kind of personality.

Make I run

stupidmod2:
chewing gum is allowed shey

A gift is a gift no matter the size .
Even the white people that we immita still go long with at least a flower .

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

I am really glad somebody is making sense finally .
Some people don't have face to be ashamed of , i should be shaming the sham for them.
I grown up don't even know simple etiquette .

Yeah the did not try, but the girl acted like a full grown adult with a new born baby sense

Yeah the fiance did not try, but the girl acted like a full grown adult with a new born baby sense

Mariangeles:


Iwu onye mpiawa azu? Don't be a sell out!

You're just disgracing yourself throughout this thread. E be like say your own Igbo different from the one practiced why the whole of Igboland because I no understand again.

Maybe my opinion is too late but ..sincerely we have to show responsibilities to who ever we are with and possibly extend it to their families if capable ....both men and women.

Firstly your boyfriend/ fiance must not always visit with gift unless the visit is like an August visit or a special one ...

Secondly, people have diff upbringing, he might not kno the importance of coming with gifts and whether or not it's disrespectful to do So...you can direct him stylishly in that manner and explain d role it plays in his appearance to his would be in-laws

Thirdly, some parent ain't greedy, they might just want to know how sincere and capable the fiance is ...it's believed if you go extra mile , you might be really into the child.

You messed up by telling your bf bluntly on what your mum said...it's a shame really.

Mend this if you can and want to...but for sure, there's already a grudge between both parties..You can repair it by doing d gift out on behalf of your fiancee pending when his own grudge subsides and takes over ..

But ability to give gifts opens doors and respect to every1 and we should learn to embrace it ..I will not be comfortable visiting empty handed sha...