₦airaland Forum

For the sake of your mental health, leave

Women are usually more angry than men. And since they cannot express it through physical fight due to their low energy level, they say anything that crosses their brains.

I advise you don't take those words to heart. I believe she never meant them, she only wanted to get at you.

To help you, show it to her when you are both in good mood and let her apologize sincerely.

lanreHeda:
I never said it will be your portion hence the word "if".

I'm just trying to show you that there are things we don't say to people especially our loved ones because we are angry.

I'm sure there are some things you would not like to hear from your loved ones.

The fact that we are angry at a moment in time does not mean we should say or do whatever we like.

Ok. But I want you to know that when someone is angry, you can't always really control the words that come out due to the flow of adrenaline. So, it's best to avoid any triggers that could lead to such.

I think you are right about the bolded.

abimbola74:
Aswear she didn’t mean those words Women and their mouth like tap water. She just want to hurt you with words and let you feel miserable. Show her this text and tell her you won’t delete that message that it reminds you who she really is and watch how she will cry uncontrollably. Bruh abeg no vex

Shokoloko:
1. She sent you a really disrespectful text.
2. In her text she says "Its over". When someone is done they will not bother to announce it. Apparently she isnt done.
3. She was upset when she did not get a reaction from you. I think she still likes you.
4. I am very concerned if the only thing your spouse has done in all the years of marriage is pumping out kids. She doesn't even keep the family well fed and the home clean? She leaves the kids to go their own way once she delivers them? You have to breastfeed your kids yourself?! Strange
5. Does she continuously refer to your disability? If yes, she pities you: no love. If no, it was a one time act of foolishness.
6. Please place your boundaries. She should leave if this is about pity and if it is not she should never refer to your disability again.
7. There are 5 love languages. If you do 150% of four and it is not your spouse's love language it means nothing...so check if the unimaginable things you did for her happiness actually resonate with her.
8. Do not abscond from your own home anymore.
9. Saving your spouse's life is not spectacular - it is expected. Five pints of my blood is in my spouse's body right now. Its not a big deal

Is there really anything as love language?

Are there really 5?

I sincerely think it was a brilliantly manufactured concept to sell books and "Relationship" seminars. I could be wrong though.

It seems the most beneficial key to keeping a relationship with any SANE /reasonable person is to not take them for granted AKA respect. Other things are supplementary.

Are you a stammerer?

Lagosinter1:
Go and sit down abeg.

People here are not different from people on the street.

Haba!

What's your own na? Can't you simply view and pass?

CalliDora1:
Ok. But I want you to know that when someone is angry, you can't always really control the words that come out due to the flow of adrenaline. So, it's best to avoid any triggers that could lead to such.

You know what I find funny about this whole Anger ish.
People like this only have power and hurtful words for their spouses. If soldiers piss them off ,they won't do anyhow o �. If their bosses in office pisses them off, they will seek redress In a reasonable way �.

But when it comes to their husbands and wives, they will use fists and hurtful words �

Forgiveness is one thing and forgetting is another

Don't let the devil destroy your home further.
I don't think she meant a bit of those words, she only probably did that to get your attention when she'd exhausted all she thinks she could to do so.
She will go on her knee to beg you or do more when you're back, kindly forgive her and don't keep malice or grudge it will bring you low and down the pedestal of honor.
As a man when issues arises in your home be firm in your decisions, but walking away from your home when there is no major crisis that endangers your life is a no, no!
A man is the gate keeper of the home and on no occasion should you leave your duty post for the devil to gain control.
In conclusion a man must be known for something, your wife probably know you as someone who trust God and will never go the traditional way, but you betrayed that trust and standard when you introduced or recommended a medium of healing that is a log way from what she knew you for,
that act simply registered you in her heart as someone who lives a double standard life. Next time stick out your neck on what you believe and let the world and those around you recognize you for that. A real child of God could have taken those with such challenge to a real minister of God for prayers, in that you betrayed her spiritual trust.

lanreHeda:
You know what I find funny about this whole Anger ish.
People like this only have power and hurtful words for their spouses. If soldiers piss them off ,they won't do anyhow o �. If their bosses in office pisses them off, they will seek redress In a reasonable way �.

But when it comes to their husbands and wives, they will use fists and hurtful words �

Lol.. yes nau.. it's those you're farmilliar with you can flex your muscles at. At least you know they won't you deal with you badly like the outsiders. .

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

I have read ur epistle and everything and i can probably still say ur wife either loves u or she’s over dependent on u so can’t let u go. It’s 1 of the 2. I wud need more Info on ur relationship to know if she actually loves u and that’s why she wants to stay and keep the marriage going.

On what she said I think she just has bad mouth like most ladies or said it in the heat of the moment. I think she cud be pardoned since Ure a forgiving person and that’s a good thing.

However my biggest fear isn’t her words bt her reason for staying after it all. Does she actually love u and is she just dependent on u?

2ndly u didn’t mentioned the great crime she keeps repeating that turns u off. Let’s know if it’s actually that serious to warrant ur staying away from home.

Finally if ur wife is wrong always correct her from time to time with proper explanations. Depending on how used she is to the bad behavior she will adjust with time, love, care and adequate correction. If she’s wise o!

[quote author=abimbola74 post=97932709]Aswear she didn’t mean those words . Women and their mouth like tap water. She just want to hurt you with words and let you feel miserable. Show her this text and tell her you won’t delete that message that it reminds you who she really is and watch how she will cry uncontrollably. Bruh abeg no vex [/quote
]But sir, I have come to realise that whatever anybody tells you in anger is exactly what that person has been breeding in mind against you.

jagorinho:
There is a general cliche we need to revise, " forgive and forget", people can forgive ( not going for retaliation) but people hardly forget, no matter how we want to twist it, those words by his wife are strong and can break a man's spirit,

let me tell you, her outburst was not instinctively done rather it was cumulative, you cant call your lover handicapped and tell me it was just because you were lost in the heat of the moment, the mere fact she still see her husband as an handicap means the thought has registered on her sub conscious mind for long.

I am not an advocate of broken home but from now on, Op should have a firm grip on his house, being romantic is cool but "see finish " is bad, do not do something you can't replicate everyday for a woman because women do not remember what you have done the previous day,
for you to be warning her severally over a particular thing shows your grip on her is non existent, get a good grip on her!!!

About the text I know it hurts, it is a big betrayal on her part but just see her as another mortal that is fallible, just be careful with some things with her especially extremely sensitive stuffs.

Correct

What is d disability?

Asour:
Is there really anything as love language?

Are there really 5?

I sincerely think it was a brilliantly manufactured concept to sell books and "Relationship" seminars. I could be wrong though.

It seems the most beneficial key to keeping a relationship with any SANE /reasonable person is to not take them for granted AKA respect. Other things are supplementary.

Great question. Its the love languages that let you know what your spouse will consider "been taken for granted". I didn't know these until I saw it play out in my marriage.
I love (acts of service) not really gifts or words of affirmation so my spouse couldn't understand why I was NOT tripping for the human hairs, and watches and shoes and Lexus he bought me - I really don't care much for them.
I found him rather kind and sexy when he was washing dishes in the kitchen with me or joining me in my little farm or in the gym (he hates the gym ).

And he always complained that I took him for granted and never gave him gifts. I did give him gifts but I later realized his love language is GIFT GIVING, so the bigger the gift, the more it meant to him.
So now whenever I want to give my spouse a birthday gift I start putting it together months in advance. I would not buy a phone of more than 60K for myself cause it means nothing to him but I know his love language is gifts so I gift him some crazy unreal phones (His eyes widen like a kid's when I hand him the latest edition).
Of course he still buys me lovely gifts but my thank you when he has done an act of service is both in words and in kind.

jagorinho:
To get a grip is easier at the initial stage, when familiarity and unnecessary truancies can be checked but in Op's case it is going to be difficult to restore order to that relationship, you can't just be too free with a lady for many years and decides to pull the plug suddenly and expect everything to fall into place like like that, No!!!

For a fresh relationship, your Aura as man is a good indicator on the type of grip you will have on a relationship, you can be so close to a lady and yet be far, you must be unpredictable and when a lady knows that any discontent from her part would always lead to unpredictable repercussions from you, she will try as much as possible to reduce her inadequacies.

By the way, going physical on a woman is an attribute of a weakling but unfortunately for some men, their fist is the first line of attack when faced with problems women bring.

So it's too late for a relationship that has lasted for say 5years and above? No hope for such men again?

Lol,.I don't think anyone understands op.

there are words/statements that makes one Blunt and the butterfly fly out the window and jam trailer.

My ex once said in a street I was highly respected that she dsnt trust me when it comes to double dating(Lol) that she can only vouch for her self.people who knew me got angry and were even swearing and vouching for me she kept on. right there and then she turned stranger to me.

she later appologized but the butterfly don waka that day. I tried everything possible to feel the same again with her for almost 1yr it didn't work till I found a very minor fault from her and let go.

Guy,.give it time and dnt think too much about it. Let her her know she hurt you. then allow her walk the healing. (dnt make mistake like me concealing it,.let her know probably heart to heart talk.). when you do the healing process will come natural.

then stand up..this one your wife will do any how and you will be giving her eye..oga if woman shit test you and you don't correct it immediately e don turn culture. if not when she does it again and you get angry she will believe ua the one causing problems bcs to her that is the normal way it's being done.

Bro, she has only told you her true mind.


Kneel and thank your star for exposing such woman

CalliDora1:
No doubt. I'm not disputing the fact that verbal abuse is wrong. But then again the same Bible says we should forgive our brethren 77 times 7 times. Isn't it? Let him forgive her. That's what ive been stating all along.

He has forgiven na. If he didnt forgive, he wouldnt av made peace with her.. I only stated the fact that he can never forget those words.. Lol!

Forgiveness and forgetting are two different things. Words are note easily forgotten

Shokoloko:
Great question. Its the love languages that let you know what your spouse will consider "been taken for granted". I didn't know these until I saw it play out in my marriage.
I love (acts of service) not really gifts or words of affirmation so my spouse couldn't understand why I was NOT tripping for the human hairs, and watches and shoes and Lexus he bought me - I really don't care much for them.
I found him rather kind and sexy when he was washing dishes in the kitchen with me or joining me in my little farm.

And he always complained that I took him for granted and never gave him gifts. I did give him gifts but I later realized his love language is GIFT GIVING, so the bigger the gift, the more it meant to him.
So now whenever I want to give my spouse a birthday gift I start putting it together months in advance. I would not buy a phone of more than 60K for myself cause it means nothing to him but I know his love language is gifts so I gift him some crazy unreal phones (His eyes widen like a kid's when I hand him the latest edition).
Of course he still buys me lovely gifts but my thank you when he has done an act of service is both in words and in kind.

Thanks.

You're clearly more experienced. I don't have any though.

I always want to be able to buy all I want and consider it tiring to outsource my happiness to anybody else — who could annoy me soon.

Marriage seems like a necessary but tiring trade-off [Losing one's personal conveniences for the thrill and feels of companionship].
The constant need to please another who may or may not reciprocate.

God help us.

OP just find a place in your heart to forgive her, the fact is any woman that is done with her Man will not even tell him, the next thing na orisisi behavior u go dey see wey go fear you self.

But about the SMS she sent to you, Oga forgive & forget it, i can bet she doesn't really mean it, she's just not happy becos u ain't around and that's the only way she feel she can come at you , My wife has once told me that i am not contributing positively to her life before; u know what that means when women say such thing (person wey i dey feed 24/7, buy her gifts, cloth her, set her up with my hard earned money and many more + plus correct knacking self ) but if she don vex finish immediately she will forget all those things and start saying all sorts of things that i can't even imagine.... i used to bother my self over such things before but when i realized that i'm only giving my self high BP baba i just dey ignore all those things she would say, at worse i wear my cloth find better Bar go drink beer with better pepper soup (i will not allow any woman to come and finish me ) but at end of it all she will come beg me and asked for forgiveness, i forgive her and i beg her too, we enter the bed room we knack everything ends there and we are happy together again , finish, that is how we have been managing our selves for the past 8 years and trust me i enjoy every day we ve been together .... just forgive her and let happiness reign in ur family for the sake of the children...i am not an advocate of divorce since violence is not happening

Shokoloko:
Great question. Its the love languages that let you know what your spouse will consider "been taken for granted". I didn't know these until I saw it play out in my marriage.
I love (acts of service) not really gifts or words of affirmation so my spouse couldn't understand why I was NOT tripping for the human hairs, and watches and shoes and Lexus he bought me - I really don't care much for them.
I found him rather kind and sexy when he was washing dishes in the kitchen with me or joining me in my little farm or in the gym (he hates the gym ).

And he always complained that I took him for granted and never gave him gifts. I did give him gifts but I later realized his love language is GIFT GIVING, so the bigger the gift, the more it meant to him.
So now whenever I want to give my spouse a birthday gift I start putting it together months in advance. I would not buy a phone of more than 60K for myself cause it means nothing to him but I know his love language is gifts so I gift him some crazy unreal phones (His eyes widen like a kid's when I hand him the latest edition).
Of course he still buys me lovely gifts but my thank you when he has done an act of service is both in words and in kind.

Lol,.heard of this b4....so tried

Women shaaaa have bad mouth !
Sometimes marriage is like that .

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

P&N

Keep up the silence and lose your marriage. You seem to enjoy punishing her with silence, not knowing you are punishing yourself more. If you're tired of it, leave. If you don't forgive her, you will not be forgiven. If you keep her text, your words are being kept against you somewhere, too. It's your children that will face the results of whatever decision you make, so do what is right to do, not what people online say, not what your heart says, but what is right and you know is right to do.

Try not to bring your marital problems online for small boys to rubbish your wife and insult you both. They don't mean well for you.

ghettochild4u:
This happens when we fail to see this signs during courtship
When women are at the due age..they pretend so they can get married

Likewise men.

We need to hear the two sides of this story.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

since it has been settled... I will advice u to let bygone be bygone.... U know women now sometimes their mouth na like basket that vomits anything that comes it way. All the even that happened is what they will refer to when there is misunderstanding. Please forgive and forget for peace in ur home. Good home brings healthy relationship.

True love only exists in Christ.
Forgive her and tell her how you felt let down by her text.

SolidGains:
So it's too late for a relationship that has lasted for say 5years and above? No hope for such men again?

hmmn!!
it is like you want to put hook in my throat lol, for men in such category, all they can do is mitigate, they can only reduce it but they can't eliminate it.

@Op be a real niggar , think if she's contributed a major part of your success & she's got good future potentials, then be a real gee... Smoke 2 Jumbo sized Mali kush erase those voices from your head... Cos it's good that you always follow who know road
But IF, she's a liability and has Nothing to contribute then chase her away but if you've got kids... Think of extra cost involved to take care of kids
If this is the only thing she did... I suggest you ABANDON THIS THREAD & Pray it gets deleted, purge yourself of that thoughts and be a happy real niggar
Cos sometimes shit happens in the life of a real gee, Nothing anyone says defines you.... everyone is disadvantaged somewhere, you can't eat your cake & have it... As I see you sound intelligent... U no fit pack all awards.. #Oluwa_Burna but #[b]We_Mov[/b]e

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.