₦airaland Forum

Let me give u small advise

Your guy loves you but trying to test a not stable
Guy will always end in this kind situation , if u know u can afford why test him forget u might think he got money but wahala no dey finish for a man side girlfriend , family , shayo

My advise link him up to a work , job anything that will fetch cool cash for him and u will see how he will change to a man u want


I had a girl friend like u years ago the girl showed me pepper she will assist u but will use small bad words to hurt ur feelings I remember one time she told me I dey suffer that she see guys that sleep and make million

Alot of bad words but thank God oluwa hard my prayer and turn my condition , over two years now relationship and marriage no dey my agenda ,the little one I wan try last year they scam me I run kpatakpa


Stop using body language and indirect bad words to mock ur boyfriend

If u can stop that find him apologize and thank me later and remember to show him sure plug

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

If I will be plain to you, your guy is already seeing you as one who wouldn't be submissive to him when you guys get married and he was still expressing his displeasure and you went ahead and repeated what he is still trying to point out to you by cutting the call on him, to him it's insulting doing that.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

ur life is in God's hands not urs.

Define an evening newspaper, a self sufficient woman, I bet you can't handle such kind of women, insecure men like you abound everywhere but guess what women left that ship a long time ago, go and meet the ones you feed and send N200 airtime to.

To the poster, I hope you have read through the responses, that man can't handle your independence and he had to make you feel guilty to cover up for his insecurities, your own man will find you.

OGWILLS123:
A typical 9ja desparate evening news paper looking for a young nigga to enslave in the name of marriage or relaSiOnSip

Greed in particular and poverty in general are great diseases. See how almost all of them have crucified the said guy and termed him insecure simply because the OP claimed to be an "independent woman," as if once a woman has a personal ability to cater for basic needs, she has automatically become desirable, precious, and indispensable to all men.

Well, OP, you come across like a woman whose main leverage prior to the misunderstanding between the two of you occurred is her money rather than her independent-mindedness - an independent-minded woman (or man) isn't the same thing as an independent woman (whatever the nonsense mean). The ability to cater for own needs, as a woman or man, should be like the icing on the cake, not the cake itself like any woman who carries around the air of haughtiness in the name of being an independent woman and the poverty-stricken and greedy men and women who support the nonsense notion want everyone to accept.

The guy obviously considered you below his standard and didn't see you beyond a mere girlfriend of convenience. If peradventure he gives you another chance, ask him politely where he wants you to improve. In him, I see a man whose core standard of what a worthy companion/wife should be is based on the woman's strong values rather than mere superficial and material things she possesses.

This doesn't automatically mean that you're a bad person, and, of course, it doesn't mean that he's a saint because his shortcomings are quite obvious. Insecurity, however, isn't one of his shortcomings.

DaddyRochie1642:
Proud and non Submissive Women never ever go far in Relationship and Marriage.... I say this without Remorse

What so many women don't know.

The guys got complex issues. He's feeling intimidated because of the car you bought. Just let him be. Love is not by force.

Don't ever call him again since he's refused to reply your texts and try looking out for another guy who'll value and respect you.

bmdonthemix1:
i love to buy a new pone make i drop my acc. n for ur bf give him time u b u u need a u time also just like am doing my self

This is extremely annoying! You had to bring up your needs to an heartbroken lady all because she is financially okay? This is very disgusting!!!

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

Four years! You never graduate? Choi. So if it crashes that's four years of yiur time wasted on a morafaka

Una dey try o. Better free the Niggah and give yourself some self respect.

walepackage:
you are the only one seeing it from this angle.the story did not add up at all.maybe she makes the guy felt lesser and irrelevant in her talks to the guy on phone.forget about "I don't need his financial support to buy the car".there's more to it.

That's why we should not judge based one on just one side.

SweetCunt97:
Four years! You never graduate? Choi. So if it crashes that's four years of yiur time wasted on a morafaka

Una dey try o. Better free the Niggah and give yourself some self respect.

You. for all the years you have been dating I am sure your trophy cabinet is packed full or you jump from guy to guy once it exceeds your minds primed time? Then you must have gone through a lot of men.

Xilsbridalhouse:
This is extremely annoying! You had to bring up your needs to an heartbroken lady all because she is financially okay? This is very disgusting!!!

i need a new phone will b glad if u wow me

Ishilove:
That's why we should not judge based one on just one side.

yes, you are not far from the truth.

iLegendd:
Case closed.

Yes, boss. She doesn't really understand what it takes to keep a man.

That lady is definitely not young anymore and so, she uses her experience in the dating game to always get something from the guy.

It's not always nice to be good to Nigerian women because some of them don't value it.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

Habiba leave that guy and come lemme treat you right

KingMack:
Habiba leave that guy and come lemme treat you right

Stop acting like a wussy.

habsydiamond:
A man will always be a man... Though ur guy beep up too but there is something about we men, that responsibility of being head is important to us.... If u do things without ur guy's consultation, how do u think he will feel like. Relationship without good communication will crash... U must send messages and receive in a relationship.... Carry urselves along with everything. The way I see It. Ur guy don dey pile am up taytay before he come japa no come dey pick ur call or wants to see u.. Try finding him, he will come back. U two need serious talk once he's back

read the OP post again, this time slowly, he was aware of her getting the car from thought to purchase to arrival, so where did she go wrong there?
Some of us guys are just too insecure to be with some nice independent babes guun

Tloc:
You. for all the years you have been dating I am sure your trophy cabinet is packed full or you jump from guy to guy once it exceeds your minds primed time? Then you must have gone through a lot of men.

Lolzzzz, na u sabi

RealEzee:
read the OP post again, this time slowly, he was aware of her getting the car from thought to purchase to arrival, so where did she go wrong there?
Some of us guys are just too insecure to be with some nice independent babes guun

Lowkey men love dependent women... Makes them feel in charge.

esthel:
Define an evening newspaper, a self sufficient woman, I bet you can't handle such kind of women, insecure men like you abound everywhere but guess what women left that ship a long time ago, go and meet the ones you feed and send N200 airtime to.

To the poster, I hope you have read through the responses, that man can't handle your independence and he had to make you feel guilty to cover up for his insecurities, your own man will find you.

Another evening news paper spoted

RealEzee:
read the OP post again, this time slowly, he was aware of her getting the car from thought to purchase to arrival, so where did she go wrong there?
Some of us guys are just too insecure to be with some nice independent babes guun

u too read my post slowly..... Did I mentioned that the guy did good.... If u want to solve this issue, the best thing is to hear from both sides. If not one will make wrong judgment. I have not seen any post where people blame the op for a disagreement with their spouses. Am not against independent ladies oo.. I would even love to have one. When u have a lady that always demand at a point u will even get tired. maybe it's ones wife or fiancee even girlfriend.

sorry about that. Most guy will feel the same way he felt that you are not submissive or proud cos u are financially ok and can afford to buy some stuff by ursef. You ought to have apologize when he approached u for not supporting you financially about ur new ride. May be that is one of his way of testing ur submissive level.. My thought though.

CalliDora1:
The guys got complex issues. He's feeling intimidated because of the car you bought. Just let him be. Love is not by force.

Don't ever call him again since he's refused to reply your texts and try looking out for another guy who'll value and respect you.

How can u be one sided!

didn't u see where she wrote 'and i cut the call on him? in the middle of heated argument that could have been settled that minute!

she is still the one making effort to reach him, obviously because she has realized her error!

missbehave247:
How can u be one sided!

didn't u see where she wrote 'and i cut the call on him? in the middle of heated argument that could have been settled that minute!

she is still the one making effort to reach him, obviously because she has realized her error!

.so what if she ended the call first.? She's realized her mistake and is been calling back but the guy is proving hard. Is he God?

Let her move on and never look back. Why beg a man that doesn't even contribute to your life in any ways. I blame some girls for making it look like men are indispensable.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

My dear you better let go now that you can. If a/your guy can stay 3 weeks without hearing from you or settling the issue on ground, trust me he’s not the one.

silento:
Let me give u small advise

Your guy loves you but trying to test a not stable
Guy will always end in this kind situation , if u know u can afford why test him forget u might think he got money but wahala no dey finish for a man side girlfriend , family , shayo

My advise link him up to a work , job anything that will fetch cool cash for him and u will see how he will change to a man u want


I had a girl friend like u years ago the girl showed me pepper she will assist u but will use small bad words to hurt ur feelings I remember one time she told me I dey suffer that she see guys that sleep and make million

Alot of bad words but thank God oluwa hard my prayer and turn my condition , over two years now relationship and marriage no dey my agenda ,the little one I wan try last year they scam me I run kpatakpa


Stop using body language and indirect bad words to mock ur boyfriend

If u can stop that find him apologize and thank me later and remember to show him sure plug

And if he leaves her after job linking to marry another lady, sorry will be your only advise then abi? Haven't you seen this scenario play out a lot, so why are you advising her to invest in a guy that is insecure?

Crunchyg2:
If I will be plain to you, your guy is already seeing you as one who wouldn't be submissive to him when you guys get married and he was still expressing his displeasure and you went ahead and repeated what he is still trying to point out to you by cutting the call on him, to him it's insulting doing that.

He's insecure and he should go deal with his problems. Which kain nonsense submissiveness is he looking for?

LordKO:
Greed in particular and poverty in general are great diseases. See how almost all of them have crucified the said guy and termed him insecure simply because the OP claimed to be an "independent woman," as if once a woman has a personal ability to cater for basic needs, she has automatically become desirable, precious, and indispensable to all men.

Well, OP, you come across like a woman whose main leverage prior to the misunderstanding between the two of you occurred is her money rather than her independent-mindedness - an independent-minded woman (or man) isn't the same thing as an independent woman (whatever the nonsense mean). The ability to cater for own needs, as a woman or man, should be like the icing on the cake, not the cake itself like any woman who carries around the air of haughtiness in the name of being an independent woman and the poverty-stricken and greedy men and women who support the nonsense notion want everyone to accept.

The guy obviously considered you below his standard and didn't see you beyond a mere girlfriend of convenience. If peradventure he gives you another chance, ask him politely where he wants you to improve. In him, I see a man whose core standard of what a worthy companion/wife should be is based on the woman's strong values rather than mere superficial and material things she possesses.

This doesn't automatically mean that you're a bad person, and, of course, it doesn't mean that he's a saint because his shortcomings are quite obvious. Insecurity, however, isn't one of his shortcomings.

Since he considers her below his standards, why the fuq does she need to get him back into her life?!

Let him go and find a woman in his standards. Nonsense

Collegelove:
He is not comfortable with your attitude. You sounded a little bit bossy and it's a big turn off on us.

bossy how? She simply told him she's sufficient financially, how's that bossy?

silento:
Let me give u small advise

Your guy loves you but trying to test a not stable
Guy will always end in this kind situation , if u know u can afford why test him forget u might think he got money but wahala no dey finish for a man side girlfriend , family , shayo

My advise link him up to a work , job anything that will fetch cool cash for him and u will see how he will change to a man u want


I had a girl friend like u years ago the girl showed me pepper she will assist u but will use small bad words to hurt ur feelings I remember one time she told me I dey suffer that she see guys that sleep and make million

Alot of bad words but thank God oluwa hard my prayer and turn my condition , over two years now relationship and marriage no dey my agenda ,the little one I wan try last year they scam me I run kpatakpa


Stop using body language and indirect bad words to mock ur boyfriend

If u can stop that find him apologize and thank me later and remember to show him sure plug

It's obvious many lack comprehensive ability. The OP said they both OK and here you are asking her to show him sure plug. Woman insult u untop say she help you never give u sense abi? She simply replied the man like a boss and he took offence.

If you know you can't handle an independent lady, then don't bother to date one.