SweetCunt97:
bossy how? She simply told him she's sufficient financially, how's that bossy?

You didn't comprehend well what she wrote.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

He's the regional coordinator of SMAN... So just move on..
U have dodged a bullet oo
Such a man will be envious of your achievements

thebosstrevor1:
Insecured Men can not handle independent women.

He is financially not buoyant so he already feeling threatened.

If you are planning of marrying him, dont do it, you will regret it, his insecurities will make you go mad and might end up making the marriage filled with fights.

You don't want to be with a man that will accuse you of cheating, that will monitor your movements and accuse you of everything bad all because you have more money than him.

If he doesn't pick his call, ex him, go find for your levels.

gud

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

reply this I will tell you.

is he an igbo guy ?

i will say he is not meant 4 u.

How can u date a guy for 4yrs yet he acts childish, let him go so that u can move on with ur life nd future.

You sounded like a responsible lady but sorry both of you are simps with inferiority complex especially him...yes you are a simp...we have simping ladies too...we shall talk about them In due time for you to know that people like us are not gender biars we only just deal with fact!

He is a simp for too insecure and blind to see the fact in what you said that you are not his responsibility while you too is a simp for going as far as creating useless thread on nairaland seeking for advice on what?

You did not offend him nah..or did you? Even if yes did you cheat on him ? Atleast that is the only thing that can make me not to forgive a lady plus dirtyness..

He refused to pick calls and meet you for the past 3weeeks just because of little issue that should not even be for a consideration? It is time to know ur worrth even if you are the ugliest lady in the world.

Stay in your Lane for now and see if he will come back to his senses and if he didn't pls move on.

Above all I hope you are not just cooking false story against him?[url][/url][ quote author=Habby222 post=97958122]Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.[/quote]

The same sets of men shouting SMAN are threatened by financially secured, independent women who has no urgent 2k needs. When the only thing they bring into a relationship is money and they're with someone that can cope without their money, they start feeling useless like the p in psychology. You guys should admit you need those urgent 2k girls in your lives to massage your egos.

Highter1:
sorry about that. Most guy will feel the same way he felt that you are not submissive or proud cos u are financially ok and can afford to buy some stuff by ursef. You ought to have apologize when he approached u for not supporting you financially about ur new ride. May be that is one of his way of testing ur submissive level.. My thought though.

She ought to have apologized?I don't quite get this, Sir
What exactly is she apologizing for?

Sixfeetbelle:


Since he considers her below his standards, why the fuq does she need to get him back into her life?!

Let him go and find a woman in his standards. Nonsense

I'd say let me wait until when you grow up and when any reasonable man takes a risk to manage you not just as a girlfriend of convenience but as a companion/wife before I'd answer you, but I doubt such time would come unless you change for good quickly - I sincerely wish you do. Well, the guy isn't the one who's worried about the survival of their relationship; she's, and it proves a salient point.

Meanwhile, the kinds of women who carry the air of haughtiness in the name of "independent woman" are the poor/wannabe rich and conceited women, and by their display on a thread like this in particular and the forum in general, a discerning person can always know them.

Now focus on becoming resourceful and an independent-minded woman rather than wishing to appropriate an "independent woman" to yourself later like some frustrated others before you.

LordKO:


I'd say let me wait until when you grow up and when any reasonable man takes a risk to manage you not just as a girlfriend of convenience but as a companion/wife before I'd answer you, but I doubt such time would come unless you change for good quickly - I sincerely wish you do. Well, the guy isn't the one who's worried about the survival of their relationship; she's, and it proves a salient point.

Meanwhile, the kinds of women who carry the air of haughtiness in the name of "independent woman" are the poor/wannabe rich and conceited women, and by their display on a thread like this in particular and the forum in general, a discerning person can always know them.

Now focus on becoming resourceful and an independent-minded woman rather than wishing to appropriate an "independent woman" to yourself later like some frustrated others before you.

You still made the same point I highlighted earlier.

Why does a guy need to manage a lady? Why take that risk when thousands of better women abound? If she isn't up to his standards, let him go find someone else. A woman doesn't need to change to accommodate a man. That's bending over backwards. Let everybody find the person that is for them.

I don't need to be resourceful to know a man who's clowning. If a man needs to 'manage' a haughty lady, don't you think it tells a lot about the kind of person he is?

esthel:
Define an evening newspaper, a self sufficient woman, I bet you can't handle such kind of women, insecure men like you abound everywhere but guess what women left that ship a long time ago, go and meet the ones you feed and send N200 airtime to.

To the poster, I hope you have read through the responses, that man can't handle your independence and he had to make you feel guilty to cover up for his insecurities, your own man will find you.

lol.....you're getting it wrong.

good men are just looking for women that will give them peace of mind.

infact we choose peace of mind over beauty sef.....just be average in the beauty department and you're good to go

peace of mind + she's is independent financially is even extra bonus.

men and even boys can sense if they will have peace of mind with you.
if they don't get that feeling from you they will go!....plain truth.

most women hide their dirty personality with "you can't handle my success and independence"


he s not insecure he knows what he wants (peace of mind), the same people preaching online about dumping his ads will do the opposite in real life.

besides the OP said they are both financially stable

OGWILLS123:
Another evening news paper spoted

You are an unrepentant alcoholic, my husband is on this platform, he would probably see this and shake head for a nuisance like you and your cohorts that have flooded nairaland. To think you just finished secondary school last year and you have guts to be calling women names when you haven't even found yourself. Oh you too want to join the women bashing club, how sweet it must be.

Two days ago you were here crying of how frustrated you are and don't know where to begin your life. You think because you are on a faceless forum you now have a right to misbehave. I bet you cant even land any woman.

yahjac:


lol.....you're getting it wrong.

good men are just looking for women that will give them peace of mind.

infact we choose peace of mind over beauty sef.....just be average in the beauty department and you're good to go

peace of mind + she's is independent financially is even extra bonus.

men and even boys can sense if they will have peace of mind with you.
if they don't get that feeling from you they will go!....plain truth.

most women hide their dirty personality with "you can't handle my success and independence"


he s not insecure he knows what he wants (peace of mind), the same people preaching online about dumping his ads will do the opposite in real life.

besides the OP said they are both financially stable

He knows what he wants but he can't lend her money when she asks him even though he's financially stable?
He knows what he wants yet he's angry she bought a car without his money? Why? Did he want to buy the car for her or what?
He knows what he want yet he's been with a lady for 4 years without making plans to marry her?
He knows what he wants yet somehow he hasn't taken this long 4 years to conclude if she'll give him peace of mind or not?


Yeah, I can definitely see how 'he knows what he wants'

Insecure modafvcker and his loyal compatriots.

Maybe DSS don carry am
Or EFCC
Or SWAT or SARS
Check their offices
Report to the nearest police station or put a 'Missing Picture' on Twitter. He will be found.

Babe abeg pardon my blunt nature the truth is that the guy don port follow another t*t* wey sweet pass your own.

Maybe your character dey smell am!!

Sorry dear but just as him don port go another guy go soon port enter your p***y too.

Life goes on.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

i dont mind dating you sha....

You need someone better... Someone grown. Simple

Take heart because your bf is now a member of SMAN

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

He's a kid with self esteem issues.. Move on with your life

you're in love with someone that doesn't have feelings for you. what you ladies don't know is that, someone can love and still don't have feelings for you



there is different between loving someone and having feelings/affection for them. if you're getting to the age of marriage is better you continue in reconciliation and giving other suitors greenlight


don't let one over pampered grown babies waste your time

Oluromantic:
What I see is incompatibility. I say so because what he did was wrong and your reaction also was mean. See lemme tell you one secret. When your partner does some extremely annoying things, it always wise not to obey your instinct of revenge because at long last, people won't see his wrong but blame you for your extreme reaction. That's the formula most men use to avoid physical abuse of their women.

You shouldn't have cut the call on him. And from the story, you seem to have had him in mind over his lack of support in previous times which was what pushed you to react that way, because if that wasn't the case, your conscience would strike you to call back and apologize for hanging up on him...that's the normal thing when in love.

Besides, waiting a whole week to call him back, truth be told, you seem to be emotionally stable than him and you're using it as strength against him. He seem more emotional, that's why he wanted to year you say something affectionate about taking his little offer of support for the car. If you had joked about it and gave him a tender feeling that you'll take his offer, that would have puffed up his masculinity and he'll feel honored. You need to study his psychic to know what response will soothe him.

You both need to open up to each other more. That issue of asking him for money because you have been the one supporting him was probably presented as a sudden rise of intelligence which he's not been used to from you. You shouldn't have presented it like "I can't afford it, I need your help". It would have been better if you had presented it like "I can afford it but I want ur support so I can remember you and brag of you" Not like a revenge strategy now but like I want your influence and aura in my things. That will not only make you wify but will also make him feel you believe in him. Wish I could advice you privately

U should b a marriage/relationship counselor...

i like your ID, come do one for me in same format

BadRadio:
Your boyfriend is now a SMAN member.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

It pains me each time I see hard working ladies not finding the right man for themselves. You are the one in love here ......move on if he continues to behave like a kid ...so many men out tbeir are looking for women like u , who are industrious self reliant. He wants you to be the begging type ...

Sis, you're in a loveless relationship.

If that dude loves you, he'd have helped you at least process the clearing of the car or followed up with you in the entire process, no be until he add money to buy the car.

It's his loss. Meanwhile, don't get carried away being independent that you'll end up marrying a man who is looking for how to eat his cake and have it, na you go dey foot all the bill for that marriage and it isn't palatable.

I've seen it happen to someone dear to me and it almost happened to me as well.

Shine your eyes, use sense do miss independent.

Aunty, the contract has ended...
Park well

Upgrade pls, he is a liability.
He has a very low self esteem and hates you for the fact that you can afford the luxury he can only dream of.

Delete his number and the 4yrs relationship.

Maybe you asked him of urgent 2k and the guy belongs to SMAN you didn't know. That's the reason.

When next you want to go into relationship, make sure the guy dosent belong to SMAN.

Maybe the dude is in trouble





Please look for him

mark this space that guy done go marry for village.

thebosstrevor1:
Insecured Men can not handle independent women.

He is financially not buoyant so he already feeling threatened.

If you are planning of marrying him, dont do it, you will regret it, his insecurities will make you go mad and might end up making the marriage filled with fights.

You don't want to be with a man that will accuse you of cheating, that will monitor your movements and accuse you of everything bad all because you have more money than him.

If he doesn't pick his call, ex him, go find for your levels.

No worry, that Toto wey you dey find from NAIRALAND babes, you go soon get am