₦airaland Forum

phorget:
Were you there when he was shouting?
Are you just passing a judgement base on what the op wrote up there?

were you there when he was not shouting?

So you would rather imagine what did not happen, simply because you don't believe the only evidence you have in front of you and it doesn't sound like what you want to hear?

Are you passing judgement on the testimony that the man has never given? Or you would rather logically use the one at hand to draw your conclusion?

If this is what happened and you did not add or remove anything then that your guy get chili for head.



I know we guys do shakara but that him own na over do

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

I hardly believe a sided story especially one from your specie...
If your story is true,
Even as a repiller and a strong member of SMAN, I SAY
Free him!
He is not worth it.

Don't waste your time.

Mind you, he'll come back after two to three months saying trash and giving excuses. NEVER FALL FOR IT!

1. I'm pretty sure I used equitably not equally. If I did not, I meant equitably.

2. Different couples will chart their own division of responsibilities.

3. Not all people can or want to give birth naturally.

4. Responsibilities like cooking do not (in my opinion, should not) have to be solely borne by 1 partner.

Your experience or expectations of roles are valid but that does not mean that is the only or even the most common experience.


Cheers.

Shokoloko:
If everything is equal, how do you partner with the woman's morning sickness, vaginal tear during childbirth, 9 month pregnancy, cooking three means daily all year round, night vigils with the child that has a fever. How many men agree to partner that, and even if they want to, how do they partner the first three.

Yes its a partnership, but it is not equal. The roles are defined

Well, Shokoloko says she was being sarcastic with the get a lower-paying job comment.

That notwithstanding, I have seen some comments like that on NL and elsewhere by men and women. Completely crazy.

Chii59:
"She should look for a lower paying job". Can you imagine the konkonbility? God forbid this kind of advice. God forbid.

Hambivert:
Have you ever heard of
..."We muuve"¿

That bobo has sparogatively muuved on! You should do the same too

singing
Muuve on muuve on don't be tired!
My saviour understands
It shall be well
Oh my sister...
Muuve on muuve on don't be tired!
My saviour understands
It shall be well

werey somebody

Oluromantic:
What I see is incompatibility. I say so because what he did was wrong and your reaction also was mean. See lemme tell you one secret. When your partner does some extremely annoying things, it always wise not to obey your instinct of revenge because at long last, people won't see his wrong but blame you for your extreme reaction. That's the formula most men use to avoid physical abuse of their women.

You shouldn't have cut the call on him. And from the story, you seem to have had him in mind over his lack of support in previous times which was what pushed you to react that way, because if that wasn't the case, your conscience would strike you to call back and apologize for hanging up on him...that's the normal thing when in love.

Besides, waiting a whole week to call him back, truth be told, you seem to be emotionally stable than him and you're using it as strength against him. He seem more emotional, that's why he wanted to year you say something affectionate about taking his little offer of support for the car. If you had joked about it and gave him a tender feeling that you'll take his offer, that would have puffed up his masculinity and he'll feel honored. You need to study his psychic to know what response will soothe him.

You both need to open up to each other more. That issue of asking him for money because you have been the one supporting him was probably presented as a sudden rise of intelligence which he's not been used to from you. You shouldn't have presented it like "I can't afford it, I need your help". It would have been better if you had presented it like "I can afford it but I want ur support so I can remember you and brag of you" Not like a revenge strategy now but like I want your influence and aura in my things. That will not only make you wify but will also make him feel you believe in him. Wish I could advice you privately

God bless this poster in particular..From observation you have a very special talent. Wow wow wow

Firstly u need to confirm if he is OK, fine and Alive. If he is alive and fine, not in a hospital, or somewhere he can't readily answer ur text and call i.e prison.
Just tear his page out of ur life. Move on. Cause if u love him and wat u wrote is true. He doesn't deserve u. U have to know ur worth a d demand it from some peeps.

I pray u get the strength to move on if he didn't have issues.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

Hmmmm......I will be blunt with you, and it will help you and a lot of other so called financially independent single ladies and even married ladies who wish to enjoy a beautiful relationship or marriage with their spouse.



Before you judge or assume anything about a man, first remember, a man is a man and can never be a woman. A man responds first to his natural traits as a man before societal conformations.


Every man have ego....even that little boy of 5 years...go and observe how he carries himself among girls of his age. It is not arrogance or insecurity or whatsoever the society paints it, it is being masculine and exhibiting natural traits of a male.


Men love it when their ego is massaged, especially by their female partner....it tickles their brain and makes them adore her more. Any lady that enjoys shattering the ego of her man in any way will definitely be having a rough, dangerous relationship with her man.


How did you shattered his male ego you maybe wondering

You have a boyfriend, a possible fiance who may have been considering and observing you codedly for marriage, and then boom you decided you needed a new car.....you didn't allow him play a major role in the buying of that car......to at least massage his male ego......you played a loner....a super woman that have all she needs at her beck and call......


You maybe wondering how you went wrong Let me explain to you again.......every man, I mean majority of men desire to spend and cater for their partner's every damn need....that's the desire and wish of every Nigerian man....but due to the harsh economy of Nigeria, this wish, this desire, this dream hardly comes to pass for most Nigerian guys.......having this in mind, you ought to have allowed him play a key role in the buying of that car unless he declined.

Playing a key role not just financially.....because he may not have enough to contribute to the buying of the car at that moment, but there is a way you could have carried him along and made him feel like he contributed in the purchase of the car to make him feel manly and in charge and to also make yourself appear submissive to him.....no matter what feminists say or what western culture say....Nigerian men are Nigerian men no matter their status or calibre....we all cherish and desire to spend our life with a respectful and submissive lady....it makes us feel so big and important lol.


You should have asked him if he had a friend in the US that he could talk to to help you purchase a car.....doing this will make him feel so important in your life.....if he then says no he doesn't have......ask him what he suggests....he may suggest buying the car in Nigeria.....you then politely and lovingly explain to him that honey or baby or sweetheart it will be more expensive here.....do you want us to dash people our money just like that.....that its better you guys buy from abroad.......this will lead to some beautiful lovers' conversation that may end up in a passionate kissing and cuddling and stuffs like that and then you have gotten his ego massaged and have also gotten his express permission to buy the car through your contact in the US. This way, he will feel his girlfriend is submissive and respectful to him. He may even be bragging about it among his friends.


Unfortunately most financially buoyant ladies cannot do what I explained above because to them it means stooping too low for a man.......and that is the major reason why many of them ends up single for life......divorced and jumping around.......and emotionally starved to the profit of trouser sagging jigolos and rich playboys like


But then, his reaction to this whole issue was really extreme and reeks of insecurity and overbloated ego too........another thing is, who knows if he is alright.....if he is even alive oh cos things de happen for Naija daily........so find out if he's okay. If he is okay and refuses to apologize so you guys can mend things and move on, then you need to move on too but learn one or two things from this

I strongly think he is tired of the relationship, might have even found someone else, some guys will rather die than marry a woman that is financially buoyant more than them.

Hmmmm. U have a good write-up. While some might find ur argument compelling and on point. Many like me find it disturbing, that even in a situation like this U chose to thread a very thin line on the middle, not take sides and call a spade a spade.

Emotional peeps don't need to be told things. They get disturbed by not being able to do things dey shud. Nothing beats communication in a relationship.
Another sensible broke MAN in that situation could have given no financial support but still be able to overwhelm her with emotional support in which "if to say" won't be needed. And still get the old car as bonus. cause the lady would have been made to understand his real position.

Roll out ur long term goals and what u are doing presently to achieve them. This invariably let's her know u could have helped financially if not for some project's at hand. He might even be able to channel some of her money for a joint venture.

Sha, what's my own inside.

Oluromantic:
What I see is incompatibility. I say so because what he did was wrong and your reaction also was mean. See lemme tell you one secret. When your partner does some extremely annoying things, it always wise not to obey your instinct of revenge because at long last, people won't see his wrong but blame you for your extreme reaction. That's the formula most men use to avoid physical abuse of their women.

You shouldn't have cut the call on him. And from the story, you seem to have had him in mind over his lack of support in previous times which was what pushed you to react that way, because if that wasn't the case, your conscience would strike you to call back and apologize for hanging up on him...that's the normal thing when in love.

Besides, waiting a whole week to call him back, truth be told, you seem to be emotionally stable than him and you're using it as strength against him. He seem more emotional, that's why he wanted to year you say something affectionate about taking his little offer of support for the car. If you had joked about it and gave him a tender feeling that you'll take his offer, that would have puffed up his masculinity and he'll feel honored. You need to study his psychic to know what response will soothe him.

You both need to open up to each other more. That issue of asking him for money because you have been the one supporting him was probably presented as a sudden rise of intelligence which he's not been used to from you. You shouldn't have presented it like "I can't afford it, I need your help". It would have been better if you had presented it like "I can afford it but I want ur support so I can remember you and brag of you" Not like a revenge strategy now but like I want your influence and aura in my things. That will not only make you wify but will also make him feel you believe in him. Wish I could advice you privately

My dear, flee from all appearances of evil. He is out to drain you. Pls don't ignore the signs.

Put 2+2 together (Gold +Digger).

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

Leave him...he doesn't deserve you.

Your boyfriend is poor with communication & I doubt if his heart is in the relationship. If he has issues with you, he ought to raise it & not rant & ignore your calls. From your explanation, you're going to have serious issues with him if you eventually got married to him. You may also need to review how you relate with him if he is willing to continue with the relationship. You did not state how long you have been dating though. Talk things over if he is humble enough to respond to your calls. But then, he has demonstrated immaturity the way he handled the issue & has defined your personality beyond your expectations. Just watch it & don't push if he is not ready to talk. No need to force a relationship.

Just keep calling him consecutively for some days if he doesn't show up. Omoh I dey for you.

Juliearth:
I don't think we should rule this too quickly as a case of incompatibility. They have been good before this meltdown. I think op just needs to apply wisdom when dealing with him in the future.

Op, as an extra tip yet again, when this drama is over and he is in a good mood, try and find out his stance on working class wives. I hate to sound judgemental, but I won't be surprised if he asks you to quit your job once you marry him.

You're both mature and wise!!

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

let the asshole go! he gat issues. i don't want to go into details on why he did what he did

will you be my girl pleeeeease?

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

somebody who is now Sman spoke person

I see but you need to know that many men thought their rich girlfriends won't make a great house wife, he even said that to you so if you truly love him go to him and apologies also tell him you love him and you want him back on your kneels oo 'cause that gentle man love you it just that he has been testing you and you're about to fail the test like seriously. Also stop telling him you only need his moral support, tell him you need him more than that and that you're going to make a good wife please forget about being rich, remember he's also rich you just need to be more loyal simple.

Dear OP, please don’t let me see you with that guy again, if I do, then I will take it up with both of you personally. Such an insecured guy. We the executives of the Yoruba Demons Association (YODA) and the Sweet Boys Association (SBA) are very disappointed in this your ex-boyfriend.

But where were you dey sef when I dey look for wifey?

that guy is a jealous guy he feel that since you're independent you can never me submissive to him. remember we men some me always believe that only dependent woman could be submissive in a relationship neither marriage. becous when you need soap you run for him, you need cream you run for him, you want make hair you run for him etc. that's is when he would believed you can't be without him. thank God he has shows you clear indication of what is going to happen when you married him. my candid advice here is that just cancel what's call love in your mine and let him be. even if he come to beg you just keep in your mine that this would continue to linger because he jealous of you. remember I start with jealous and end with jealous.

BRATISLAVA:
were you there when he was not shouting?

So you would rather imagine what did not happen, simply because you don't believe the only evidence you have in front of you and it doesn't sound like what you want to hear?

Are you passing judgement on the testimony that the man has never given? Or you would rather logically use the one at hand to draw your conclusion?

You will make a very bad judge should you be one. You can't be a judge in your own case and since the op has decided to become a judge in her own case then my hands are off.
I only asked to hear from the other person whom the op had crucified in absentia so how come you are here tackling my judgement.
Have you ever heard of anybody who takes blame even when he/she is at fault? It is in human nature bro and I guess you haven't experienced much in life.
Me as a man why should I be mad at my wife or fiancee progress and achievements? Don't you know how women behaves? Even with the long statements the op made what stops her from just saying "my dear it's ok, I know you'll do more for me someday".
Until you hear from all the parties involved please learn never to pass a judgement. Even in a lawsuit the judge will still hear from the accused so why are you making it look all difficult?

NorthernSerene:
I see but you need to know that many men thought their rich girlfriends won't make a great house wife, he even said that to you so if you truly love him go to him and apologies also tell him you love him and you want him back on your kneels oo 'cause that gentle man love you it just that he has been testing you and you're about to fail the test like seriously. Also stop telling him you only need his moral support, tell him you need him more than that and that you're going to make a good wife please forget about being rich, remember he's also rich you just need to be more loyal simple.

But why are men that stupid? Why will you just assume that because a lady is rich, she won't be a good wife, why the insecurities? If a lady is asking you guys for money, you will still be the one to complain, I'm so tired of you men

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

Pls baby, send me your number. You need a better person. Thank God for making you escape this current guy inadvertently, lucky lady you are.
I need a sweet lady like you jare. Let's start!

Lets hear from the Guy first

Even if he comes back the guy is not right for you. Just use this opportunity to move on . It may look like childs play now but marriage brings out the worst in people and one of you will end up stabbing the other if you make the mistake of marrying that guy

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

ModestGal:
But why are men that stupid? Why will you just assume that because a lady is rich, she won't be a good wife, why the insecurities? If a lady is asking you guys for money, you will still be the one to complain, I'm so tired of you men

Ha don't get tired we can't do without each other, remember money isn't everything and one thing women fail to do this days is that lack of respect and consideration be more submisive and see relationship working like magic and that is exactly that lady is lacking.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

You deserve better than that! Move on with your life. Even if he comes back, don't take him back. Na person wey no dey give small money go come Contribute to car?

phorget:
You will make a very bad judge should you be one. You can't be a judge in your own case and since the op has decided to become a judge in her own case then my hands are off.
I only asked to hear from the other person whom the op had crucified in absentia so how come you are here tackling my judgement.
Have you ever heard of anybody who takes blame even when he/she is at fault? It is in human nature bro and I guess you haven't experienced much in life.
Me as a man why should I be mad at my wife or fiancee progress and achievements? Don't you know how women behaves? Even with the long statements the op made what stops her from just saying "my dear it's ok, I know you'll do more for me someday".
Until you hear from all the parties involved please learn never to pass a judgement. Even in a lawsuit the judge will still hear from the accused so why are you making it look all difficult?

1. Work with evidence. Any judge will work with evidence and not his imagination. You are the kind of judge who conjures situations to suit his fancy and judges amiss (sorry if that sounds harsh).

2. You expect her to fall over for the guy with your, "my dear it's ok, I know you'll do more for me someday".

Must she say what you want her to say before she is right? Was he right to shout at her abusively on the phone, and she must take it because she's in a relationship? That's verbal abuse and it is not something to pamper. Everyone has their tempers, nobody was born to be at the receiving end of another persons own.

She must not accept verbal abuse unless she wants to. And clearly, she doesn't want to.

3. Because you will not be angry doesn't mean he will not be angry. He has exhibited manipulative behaviors and all you can come up with is that she didn't soothe his ego. That you are understanding doesn't mean this man is. Many evil people exist.

Whene'er a relationship goes wrong it is always the woman's fault, going by majority of comments here. As a good judge you claim to be, with testimony she's given, you will still work with it -- not in absentia persons.

You've passed judgement without knowing the truth, too. Forget his side, because he could lie to exonerate himself.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

i think the Bobo is highly insecure, he has probably sourced advice just like you are doing now from a not so competent source, result being the sudden apology and brash behavior. I don't think his happy you could handle buying a car without his help especially financial help......

God wetin Nigerian men want, shey na because of beggy beggy women na im make them form the stingy men association, now look here is a woman who is ready to care for herself asking for simple love, and Bobo is unavailable.......


My advice If he's the type that listens to you, once you get the chance to meet him, you have to assure with petting that you are all in for him even when you are capable of doing somethings for yourself without him, let him know you love him and not even financial status can change you... It's left to Bobo to accept a golden woman like you or you MUUVE there decent men ready to accept your independent nature... Me inclusive, don't worry I'm not shooting my shot, not ready for anything called Roma...

Give him space,enough space. U love him much much thats you are so concern,if he want u back sure he will come back. Relationship of 4years no be beans. And again u gave him that motive and mindset that any time u have ish u will be the one to come begin,this time around allow him to be

Give it more trials to make up with him and if he doesn't want It I suggest you move on