mosdii:
Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

bizme:
To
1.) Good one.
2.) I believe that effectively moderates how one should take your advice. You are not a practicing polygamist, you have not been one and you are unlikely to know for sure if polygamy is the solution to the point being raised.
3.) Actually, it's not a myth, it's very recent history and many with old parents or grandparents will readily corroborate the main gist of my submission. It has nothing to do with feminism. A man that feels the need to be defensive in the face of feminism and using polygamy to do that, is actually a weak man. A real man logically assesses his situation and evolves an intervention, not because of some feministic ideology but in spite of it as though it never existed in the first place.
4.) And no, it is fallacy and not fact. You are generally not allowed to elevate an opinion to the level of a fact.

Some of us don't mind waiting for you to try out polygamy as a solution to deprioritization of sex by women post-wedding; then we can see if your advice is the solution. :-) Right now, you are not qualified to enthrone a suggestion you haven't tested to the pedestal you are placing it on.


the guy is right,if one can afford it though...do you remember the saying,there is no fairness in love and war?

The law of diminishing marginal utility is in play here,you can't force it....

What you'll say is that of the selfishness in the side of the man not considering the children....

I'll urge you to provide a solution you deemed fit rather than refuting his stance completely

esthel:
I think you should contribute intelligently and logically. This post isn't for people like you. Mind you "All of them" includes your mother, sisters, aunties,female friends" etc so you need to watch your words.

Hotguy27:
Women still love sex after marriage but you must know that when the children are already there, you have to approach her for sex with utmost calculation. Unlike, when you were both dating and possibly no children, married women who have children are preoccupied with a lot of home chores that rarely allow them think about sex.

For such women to enjoy sex, please reduce the frequency of love making to 2 or 3 in a month. If you want her to continue to enjoy sex as if she just met you, then try once in a month and possibly during her ovulation but you have to be careful otherwise she would take in

Olunmercy56:
Some married women said most of their husbands are not romantic enough, some husbands concentrate more on work than their family. Etc

bizme:
I am aware this might not be the experience of every couple but the many couple I have interacted with, the story is pretty much the same: the wife losing interest in sex once she gets married to the man and especially once children start coming.

For certain couples it isn't as obvious as that, the wife simply approaches sex as a mechanical function that she needs to get over with and perhaps do something else.

Why do you think this is so? Can one say it's because once married the woman feels socially secured and doesn't need to put in any effort to win the man? Or does it have anything to do with changing biology?

zainabicy:
This is because after a while d man stops trying to make d woman orgasm. They take and take and take.

So after a while, we sef lose interest, children dey, work dey.

Bubblewitch:
Sometimes the men just come, do 2minutes romance and then sex... this makes sex uninteresting. I want Sex to involve exploring, the pre-intimacy matters a lot but some husband just kiss the breast small, then start fingering and then sex with the absence of a cuddle after the deed, begins to look like a routine and the woman suddenly gets tired of it.

Olunmercy56:


My dear, I'll go for romantic! Money will follow Most rich women are having sex with small boy or their domestic staffs. I don't want much riches, inasmuch we have a house and two cars of our own with some business, I'm okay

Kuns84:


Huh? Explain this please.

ogianyo:
Wow. This is the reason I joined nairaland many years ago. In the last few years the influx of very young persons into the forum led to a reduction in the quality of discussion. I ve enjoyed reading through the arguments. Non of you is wrong just as non of you can be absolutely right. Polygamy does not necessarily mean access to more sex. If it did most polygamists would not still need to keep mistresses when they can afford it. So I think trying to solve the problem by taking on more wives is not likely to work. The issue of a sexual balance between couples is a special blessing because nothing warns either of you as to how things will turn out in that dept after kids come. The lady that submitted that the rigours of running the home with children and probably holding down a job leads to physical exhaustion which takes its toll on libido is probably closer to the truth. Also it must be added that child birth takes a heavy toll on the physical condition of a woman's sexuality. It takes understanding and serious skills on the part of a husband to help a woman not feel very unsexy and with attendant toll on libido.

thinkmoney:

You many at times will observe that your urge for sex is not usually in it's highest after an hectic day. This is same reason why child rearing and house chores takes a toll on women's urge. STRESS IS WHY THEY APPEAR TO LOOSE INTEREST IN SEX

CalliDora1:

Na food?

On a more serious note though, I think what usually causes it is, the woman is most times overwhelmed with the wifely duties at the homefront. in the process she's expended therefore sex will be the last thing on her mind as the passion for it will have died from exaustion from doing chores. If you observed, it usually happens after the kids have started coming and the workload has increased.

If the man can make arrangements for a house help ( not necessarily a live-in help) to assist with the chores, the woman will be more relaxed to reason sex as it's only a relaxed mind that can get a woman in the mood .

mariahAngel:

This has crackhaus written all over it!

bizme:
I am aware this might not be the experience of every couple but the many couple I have interacted with, the story is pretty much the same: the wife losing interest in sex once she gets married to the man and especially once children start coming.

For certain couples it isn't as obvious as that, the wife simply approaches sex as a mechanical function that she needs to get over with and perhaps do something else.

Why do you think this is so? Can one say it's because once married the woman feels socially secured and doesn't need to put in any effort to win the man? Or does it have anything to do with changing biology?

answer: women get angry becuz u dont not how to spell.

babes it is *looose* .. not *lose*

please try an use spell checks when u create tread. biko

CalliDora1:

Na food?

On a more serious note though, I think what usually causes it is, the woman is most times overwhelmed with the wifely duties at the homefront. in the process she's expended therefore sex will be the last thing on her mind as the passion for it will have died from exaustion from doing chores. If you observed, it usually happens after the kids have started coming and the workload has increased.

If the man can make arrangements for a house help ( not necessarily a live-in help) to assist with the chores, the woman will be more relaxed to reason sex as it's only a relaxed mind that can get a woman in the mood .

Kingosytex:


I think you meant cheats.

We share same belief, I detest cheats with passion, I have absolutely no second chance to give them.

POTUT:
Frankly, I like your submissions. Truly pragmatic and drawn from observable facts.

My only reservation on polygamy is that it conflicts with my Christian teachings. Other than that, the dynamics you stated are simply true.

Last year I visited my Godmother's family during her funeral. We all spent some time talking about her life and the days of polygamy and all sorts of old stories to celebrate her generation. Her eldest son recounted how his father's wives used to seek his attention because there was competition. He said his father had a pair of distinct wrappers for each wife. His way of communicating which wife would spend the night with him was by tying any wrapper of his choice around his waist in the evening. The wife with the matching wrapper and indeed all other wives would get the message.

Boxer007:




babes it is *looose* .. not *lose*
please try an use spell checks when u create tread. biko

mariahAngel:


Don't mind him.

Polygamy will lead you to an early grave because of sex. No go do pass yourself o!

RisenPhoenix1:


With polygamy, there would be rivalry. Each woman would double up on her efforts to keep more of their mutual husband's attention. There will also always be a nagging feeling that another wife is getting more sex than her, and this will trigger the wife to try to get even more from the husband (keeping a greater share of the market so to speak). Finally, a woman always finds a man infinitely more attractive when he is not readily available to her beck and call; and it also triggers their possessiveness when other available females find him attractive. All these complexities will work in his favour.

A woman in a female herd does not think the same way as a woman with exclusive attention to a man. Polygamy is a woman leveller and destroys all their transactional techniques; that is why women hate it. It is like the difference between a customer's options in a monopoly and in a free market; the man being the customer in this case.

Ilekokonit:
Most black women lose interest in sex after 2 kids.

It could be because some were circumcised and so do not have the most sensitive part of their Instruments intact anymore. Their clitoris may have been chopped off. The clitoris is meant to be like a mini penis that gets engorged with blood when aroused and it has a cap like the penis and so just like a man whose penile cap has been chopped off may never reach orgasm, likewise a woman whose entire clitoris has been hacked off may never achieve orgasm ans so sex to such damaged women is like a chore as they don't enjoy it and only engage in it to trap a man for marriage and kids.

Also, one of the major causes why black women lose interest in sex after 2 kids is because after each child birth, black women damage the lining of their vaginas by steaming it with boiling water when they sit on potties filled with boiling water, herbs and Dettol all in the name of healing the insides of their reproductive tract. This has the effect of cooking the insides of their vagina to a point where they no longer have much feeling in their vagina as the sensitive nerves in their vagina has been damaged beyond repair and because they can not feel anything in their vagina (barring a horse dick), they shy away from sex which they no longer enjoy because they have with their own hands damaged their own vagina.

This is before factoring in that after 2 kids, their vaginas has been stretched / widened and at times torn by a difficult child birth and so with them now boiling their vaginas by sitting of a potty filled with boiling water, the result is that their vaginas are no longer fit for purpose as they can no longer feel their husbands dick and they then start using sex as a weapon by denying the man sex and so the man has no choice and decides to satisfy his natural urges outside with a woman who gives him sexual healing and also treats him better than his wife who by now is only interested in the kids and loves neglecting her husbands need.