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Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by zainabicy: 12:04pm On Jan 11
This is because after a while d man stops trying to make d woman orgasm. They take and take and take.

So after a while, we sef lose interest, children dey, work dey.

34 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by ArcFresky(m): 12:14pm On Jan 11
CalliDora1:



Lol. Waaaat?? grin because of sex?
Be careful what you wish for though.
grin
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Nobody: 1:03pm On Jan 11
bizme:
To
1.) Good one.
2.) I believe that effectively moderates how one should take your advice. You are not a practicing polygamist, you have not been one and you are unlikely to know for sure if polygamy is the solution to the point being raised.
3.) Actually, it's not a myth, it's very recent history and many with old parents or grandparents will readily corroborate the main gist of my submission. It has nothing to do with feminism. A man that feels the need to be defensive in the face of feminism and using polygamy to do that, is actually a weak man. A real man logically assesses his situation and evolves an intervention, not because of some feministic ideology but in spite of it as though it never existed in the first place.
4.) And no, it is fallacy and not fact. You are generally not allowed to elevate an opinion to the level of a fact.

Some of us don't mind waiting for you to try out polygamy as a solution to deprioritization of sex by women post-wedding; then we can see if your advice is the solution. :-) Right now, you are not qualified to enthrone a suggestion you haven't tested to the pedestal you are placing it on.




2.) You do not have to be a practising anything to study the concept and see whether it works. Both my grandfather's were practising polygamists. We spent practically all our holidays in their homes in Nigeria. I saw first hand how polygamy worked. That is why I'm an ardent supporter.
3.) Perhaps you did not comprehend my point. I never said polygamy meams a man is strong, or that it is an answer to feminism. I said that feminists; both male and female; dislike polygamy because it's a leveller. It takes away the female monopoly on marital sex. In order to take away the inclination of a man to be polygamous, the narrative was spread that the only advantage of 'uncivilzed' polygamy lay in the need to have many children to work on farms; or that it was only engaged in by barbaric, lecherous men. In reality, agriculture or lust were never the only, or even the main, objectives behind polygamy. The rest of your remonstration I cannot make head or tail of.
4.) Once more, you may choose to believe or not. You are the one seeking help. When you've finished trying to convince your wife to give you more sex, you will remember what I said. That will be my final victory. Either you will toe my path and become polygamous, have sex with other women (which is like polygamy, but in a craven way), buy a sex doll and hide it from your wife, or hide from your wife and pleasure yourself. It's your choice.

But one thing I'm sure of is that you ain't getting more from her while she's the only one.

And yes I'm qualified. I grew up in two polygamous homes. The kind of true respect that my two grandfathers had from their wives up until the day they died, no man can hope to even come near today. One of the women is still alive today and she talks about him misty eyed, to this day.

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Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Liposure: 1:58pm On Jan 11
A number of married women have low libido which can be very frustrating for a sexually active husband. Ever wondered why most men cheat on their wives. Husbands are tired of constant rejection in bed and can't wait to seek help outside

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by crackhaus: 4:33pm On Jan 11
mariahAngel:

This has crackhaus written all over it!
I didn't know you knew me so well cheesy

6 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by ceeceeuwa: 5:25pm On Jan 11
bizme:
Thanks for the reprimand. I'm honestly tired of people like that whose only contribution is to attack people they don't know. I am beginning to think that there several adolescents on NL.

They are so many here that you begin to think something is really wrong with the society at large! They can't contribute anything meaningful but insults! One need to develop a 'tough skin' to visit Nairaland these days. Seun needs to do something about the recent surge of insolent attitude here!

24 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by mariahAngel: 5:48pm On Jan 11
crackhaus:

I didn't know you knew me so well cheesy


At least you didn't deny it...

On a faceless forum like this, one's words are their identity, and so I tend to recognize old nairalanders in new accounts by their words and approach.

Your outrageous audacity made it easy too!

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by crackhaus: 6:37pm On Jan 11
mariahAngel:

At least you didn't deny it...

On a faceless forum like this, one's words are their identity, and so I tend to recognize old nairalanders in new accounts by their words and approach.

Your outrageous audacity made it easy too!
I'm sure you're feeling super smart right now, so I won't rain on your parade... cheesy

But if you missed me and have been wondering why I'm not so active, you could have just asked instead of seeing me in random comments.

19 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by POTUT(m): 6:39pm On Jan 11
Frankly, I like your submissions. Truly pragmatic and drawn from observable facts.

My only reservation on polygamy is that it conflicts with my Christian teachings. Other than that, the dynamics you stated are simply true.

Last year I visited my Godmother's family during her funeral. We all spent some time talking about her life and the days of polygamy and all sorts of old stories to celebrate her generation. Her eldest son recounted how his father's wives used to seek his attention because there was competition. He said his father had a pair of distinct wrappers for each wife. His way of communicating which wife would spend the night with him was by tying any wrapper of his choice around his waist in the evening. The wife with the matching wrapper and indeed all other wives would get the message.

Polygamy indeed destroys the monopoly...but in the present economy, especially in Africa, only a few men dare it. So we have to find and make compromises.

RisenPhoenix1:


2.) You do not have to be a practising anything to study the concept and see whether it works. Both my grandfather's were practising polygamists. We spent practically all our holidays in their homes in Nigeria. I saw first hand how polygamy worked. That is why I'm an ardent supporter.
3.) Perhaps you did not comprehend my point. I never said polygamy meams a man is strong, or that it is an answer to feminism. I said that feminists; both male and female; dislike polygamy because it's a leveller. It takes away the female monopoly on marital sex. In order to take away the inclination of a man to be polygamous, the narrative was spread that the only advantage of 'uncivilzed' polygamy lay in the need to have many children to work on farms; or that it was only engaged in by barbaric, lecherous men. In reality, agriculture or lust were never the only, or even the main, objectives behind polygamy. The rest of your remonstration I cannot make head or tail of.
4.) Once more, you may choose to believe or not. You are the one seeking help. When you've finished trying to convince your wife to give you more sex, you will remember what I said. That will be my final victory. Either you will toe my path and become polygamous, have sex with other women (which is like polygamy, but in a craven way), buy a sex doll and hide it from your wife, or hide from your wife and pleasure yourself. It's your choice.

But one thing I'm sure of is that you ain't getting more from her while she's the only one.

And yes I'm qualified. I grew up in two polygamous homes. The kind of true respect that my two grandfathers had from their wives up until the day they died, no man can hope to even come near today. One of the women is still alive today and she talks about him misty eyed, to this day.

57 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by cococandy(f): 6:46pm On Jan 11
All talk and stories.

When most men get a woman who loves to have sex and do it often, they don’t know what to do with her. Insecurities come flooding.

If it weren’t so, slut-shaming women wouldn’t be a thing.

42 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by mariahAngel: 7:08pm On Jan 11
crackhaus:

I'm sure you're feeling super smart right now, so I won't rain on your parade... cheesy

But if you missed me and have been wondering why I'm not so active, you could have just asked instead of seeing me in random comments.

That audacity! undecided

You know what? Now that you've been found out, you can go back to your underlining and italicizing ways, since the urge must've been so hard for you to resist yeah?

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by mariahAngel: 7:11pm On Jan 11
POTUT:
Frankly, I like your submissions. Truly pragmatic and drawn from observable facts.

My only reservation on polygamy is that it conflicts with my Christian teachings. Other than that, the dynamics you stated are simply true.

Last year I visited my Godmother's family during her funeral. We all spent some time talking about her life and the days of polygamy and all sorts of old stories to celebrate her generation. Her eldest son recounted how his father's wives used to seek his attention because there was competition. He said his father had a pair of distinct wrappers for each wife. His way of communicating which wife would spend the night with him was by tying any wrapper of his choice around his waist in the evening. The wife with the matching wrapper and indeed all other wives would get the message.

Polygamy indeed destroys the monopoly...but in the present economy, especially in Africa, only a few men dare it. So we have to find and make compromises.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha grin

Wahala tie wrapper! grin

10 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Nobody: 7:12pm On Jan 11
POTUT:
Frankly, I like your submissions. Truly pragmatic and drawn from observable facts.

My only reservation on polygamy is that it conflicts with my Christian teachings. Other than that, the dynamics you stated are simply true.

Last year I visited my Godmother's family during her funeral. We all spent some time talking about her life and the days of polygamy and all sorts of old stories to celebrate her generation. Her eldest son recounted how his father's wives used to seek his attention because there was competition. He said his father had a pair of distinct wrappers for each wife. His way of communicating which wife would spend the night with him was by tying any wrapper of his choice around his waist in the evening. The wife with the matching wrapper and indeed all other wives would get the message.

Polygamy indeed destroys the monopoly...but in the present economy, especially in Africa, only a few men dare it. So we have to find and make compromises.


Thank you. I love well thought out responses like this, instead of knee jerk reactions. To date, I have never seen a reasoned argument against polygamy. They all bring the same old, Hollywood/Nollywood induced clichés about 'true love' and 'real men' etc. And I have nothing against those who avoid polygamy because of their principle or belief system. It is those who start making so called 'logical' arguments straight out of Telemundo that I can't stand.

40 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Nobody: 8:04pm On Jan 11
mariahAngel:


That audacity! undecided

You know what? Now that you've been found out, you can go back to your underlining and italicizing ways, since the urge must've been so hard for you to resist yeah?

Wait, you think I'm crackhaus?

*Facepalm*.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by crackhaus: 8:56pm On Jan 11
mariahAngel:


That audacity! undecided

You know what? Now that you've been found out, you can go back to your underlining and italicizing ways, since the urge must've been so hard for you to resist yeah?
You most definitely missed me. grin

But trust me, I ain't him.

I would never have conversations with some of the ladies on NL he has had conversations with, that should be enough to clue you in. cheesy

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by crackhaus: 8:57pm On Jan 11
RisenPhoenix1:


Wait, you think I'm crackhaus?

*Facepalm*.
LOL grin

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 9:01pm On Jan 11
crackhaus:

You most definitely missed me. grin

But trust me, I ain't him.

I would never have conversations with some of the ladies on NL he has had conversations with, that should be enough to clue you in. cheesy

Happy new year crackhaus, you have been scarce.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 9:04pm On Jan 11
@OP:

Plenty reasons jare.

A win situation for the husband is polygamy or open adultery;

A win situation for the wife is a husband who adores her and provides a lot of help;

A win situation for both is a wife respecting a husband who adores her and provides a lot of help. smiley

20 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by angelfallz(m): 9:23pm On Jan 11
what do you mean by the husband providing a lot of help?

bukatyne:
@OP:

Plenty reasons jare.

A win situation for the husband is polygamy or open adultery;

A win situation for the wife is a husband who adores her and provides a lot of help;

A win situation for both is a wife respecting a husband who adores her and provides a lot of help. smiley
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 9:25pm On Jan 11
angelfallz:
what do you mean by the husband providing a lot of help?


Domestic help.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by crackhaus: 9:29pm On Jan 11
bukatyne:


Happy new year crackhaus, you have been scarce.
HNY to you too Buka... cool

Trust you've been well
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by angelfallz(m): 9:29pm On Jan 11
Lol, you people always want men to help with chores.

bukatyne:


Domestic help.
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by mariahAngel: 9:30pm On Jan 11
crackhaus:

You most definitely missed me. grin

Definitely. I mean, who wouldn't miss your constant degrading of women? Such a delight to read undecided

But trust me, I ain't him.

I would never have conversations with some of the ladies on NL he has had conversations with, that should be enough to clue you in. cheesy

For your mind.... undecided

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 9:32pm On Jan 11
crackhaus:

HNY to you too Buka... cool

Trust you've been well

I have, thanks and at your end?
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 9:34pm On Jan 11
angelfallz:
Lol, you people always want men to help with chores.


There are only 24hrs in a day with a lot of things to do.

While a wife is in charge of housekeeping, all hands must be on deck to do the chores.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by angelfallz(m): 9:37pm On Jan 11
Not for me. helping with house chores would be at my own discretion or a chore i choose to do myself

bukatyne:


There are only 24hrs in a day with a lot of things to do.

While a wife is in charge of housekeeping, all hands must be on deck to do the chores.

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 9:41pm On Jan 11
angelfallz:
Not for me. helping with house chores would be at my own discretion or a chore i choose to do myself


Goodluck.

I put best case scenario for all parties.

They can be outsourced with you paying if you are alapa ma sise aka alapa stainless or have 50 shoulder pads in your coat.

8 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by angelfallz(m): 9:54pm On Jan 11
Please name the particular house chores that can outsourced.

bukatyne:


Goodluck.

I put best case scenario for all parties.

They can be outsourced with you paying if you are alapa ma sise aka alapa stainless or have 50 shoulder pads in your coat.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Ilekokonit: 10:23pm On Jan 11
Most black women lose interest in sex after 2 kids.

It could be because some were circumcised and so do not have the most sensitive part of their Instruments intact anymore. Their clitoris may have been chopped off. The clitoris is meant to be like a mini penis that gets engorged with blood when aroused and it has a cap like the penis and so just like a man whose penile cap has been chopped off may never reach orgasm, likewise a woman whose entire clitoris has been hacked off may never achieve orgasm ans so sex to such damaged women is like a chore as they don't enjoy it and only engage in it to trap a man for marriage and kids.

Also, one of the major causes why black women lose interest in sex after 2 kids is because after each child birth, black women damage the lining of their vaginas by steaming it with boiling water when they sit on potties filled with boiling water, herbs and Dettol all in the name of healing the insides of their reproductive tract. This has the effect of cooking the insides of their vagina to a point where they no longer have much feeling in their vagina as the sensitive nerves in their vagina has been damaged beyond repair and because they can not feel anything in their vagina (barring a horse dick), they shy away from sex which they no longer enjoy because they have with their own hands damaged their own vagina.

This is before factoring in that after 2 kids, their vaginas has been stretched / widened and at times torn by a difficult child birth and so with them now boiling their vaginas by sitting of a potty filled with boiling water, the result is that their vaginas are no longer fit for purpose as they can no longer feel their husbands dick and they then start using sex as a weapon by denying the man sex and so the man has no choice and decides to satisfy his natural urges outside with a woman who gives him sexual healing and also treats him better than his wife who by now is only interested in the kids and loves neglecting her husbands needs.

33 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hathor5(f): 10:39pm On Jan 11
Not so much after marriage as after pregnancy/child birth. The woman sacrifices her body to bring a child into this world. During pregnancy, even if there are no complications, the body is not fully hers. After delivery she needs to recover. Her hormones are out of balance, there are injuries down there. She is also breast feeding. Imagine someone sucking on your nipples several times a day. She also needs to carry the baby around, cuddle it, put up with the babies saliva and vomit. Every day, for months. Then another child is born and the two of them are all over her all day long. In the evening the husband wants to claim her body too. It's not easy.

Many women love sex too. Don't be deceived by people on this forum who want to tell you that women are all in it for the money. Our clitoris is much more sensitive than the penis. We can have multiple orgasms. We are capable of enjoying sex and a man's strong arms and shoulders can take us to heaven but nursing a baby and having toddlers all over us takes a toll.

If you want to be polygamous, find women who agree to it and go for it but if you do it to manipulate your wives and have them compete over you, know that you are creating a toxic family.

While it's good to help with chores, shopping and what not, having someone (family, nannies, daycare) free us from the little terrorists is a great relief.

101 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by nahzyla: 11:08pm On Jan 11
Hathor5:
Not so much after marriage as after pregnancy/child birth. The woman sacrifices her body to bring a child into this world. During pregnancy, even if there are no complications, the body is not fully hers. After delivery she needs to recover. Her hormones are out of balance, there are injuries down there. She is also breast feeding. Imagine someone sucking on your nipples several times a day. She also needs to carry the baby around, cuddle it, put up with the babies saliva and vomit. Every day, for months. Then another child is born and the two of them are all over her all day long. In the evening the husband wants to claim her body too. It's not easy.

Many women love sex too. Don't be deceived by people on this forum who want to tell you that women are all in it for the money. Our clitoris is much more sensitive than the penis. We can have multiple orgasms. We are capable of enjoying sex and a man's strong arms and shoulders can take us to heaven but nursing a baby and having toddlers all over us takes a toll.

If you want to be polygamous, find women who agree to it and go for it but if you do it to manipulate your wives and have them compete over you, know that you are creating a toxic family.

While it's good to help with chores, shopping and what not, having someone (family, nannies, daycare) free us from the little terrorists is a great relief.

You have the most sensible submission on this thread.
You and zainabicy


@bolded part, unfortunately they don't care about creating toxicity and harmful environment for their kids. Many men reason so selfishly.

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hathor5(f): 11:12pm On Jan 11
nahzyla:


You have the most sensible submission on this thread.
You and zai.nabicy


@bolded part, unfortunately they don't care about creating toxicity and harmful environment for their kids. Many men reason so selfishly.

Thanks.

1 Like

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