₦airaland Forum

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

Mindlog:
"We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40"...Still imagining the Pastors doing the counselling, counselling a married couple or 2 people co-habiting? If it were professional therapists no issue with co-habitation but Pastors?

DrFunmisticGlow:
you are obviously not ready to settle down and be a breadwinner and provider. Stay single abeg.

nedekid:
Bros, what more do you need to know this lady is not a keeper?
Not contributing voluntarily shows she is not committed to the proposed union (you earn same salary). She will use you and walka, simple. It's just a matter of time.
On the lighter side, how do you date someone for 2 years and you aren't intimate? Forget whatever anyone tells you
she is getting it one way or the other.

SpicyMimi:
Women, why are some of you like this? How do you keep your money and watch your man suffer? How do you even bear it? Unless of course you are sure he is cheating on you, there is no reason to keep your money and spend his! What exactly do you want to do with your money? Buy worthless things to show off? You should have a joint money with your spouse if you both love each other, invest together, spend wisely together, do everything together or what is the essence of being ONE? This message goes out to wives especially! Stop being a liability, either you spend 50-50 or you have a joint account. Stop being SELFISH!!!!


By the way, only good, godly men deserves a wife that will hand over her salary to him, not some nasty men who don’t love, respect and stay faithful & loyal to their wives.

OrdinaryNigeria:
2 of u, abandon ship.

This marriage is not do or die.

Women too get mouth, if u check all she wrote, 70% are lies or highly embellished.

Jus go separate ways.

Am married to a woman like this too, I don't know how to escape

Kondomatic:
One thing I find very annoying is somebody telling me how to spend my own money that's right inside my pocket.

Boss, you fall hand.

You see that place you buy bottled water for twice the price? Nah slap you deserve.


There was a time I was in Lagos for a seminar, I hanged out with babe and I noticed something about her. She used to come in the evening and leave in the morning[that's actually how I prefer my woman, like the moon. Show up in the evening and disappear in the morning] because of her work but this time she was free.


She likes to show off with my money.


We go here to eat, she will be like TIP this guy.

We go another place, TIP that guy.


The girl is nice TIP her, the gate man is kind TIP him, I was just laughing inside while TIPPING them here and there like a TIMPER.



When it was time for her to go, I brought the amount I usually give her for tfare, counted it so she know it was complete and then removed all the tips.


That was the last time that nonsense happened.

Kondomatic:
One thing I find very annoying is somebody telling me how to spend my own money that's right inside my pocket.

Boss, you fall hand.

You see that place you buy bottled water for twice the price? Nah slap you deserve.


There was a time I was in Lagos for a seminar, I hanged out with babe and I noticed something about her. She used to come in the evening and leave in the morning[that's actually how I prefer my woman, like the moon. Show up in the evening and disappear in the morning] because of her work but this time she was free.


She likes to show off with my money.


We go here to eat, she will be like TIP this guy.

We go another place, TIP that guy.


The girl is nice TIP her, the gate man is kind TIP him, I was just laughing inside while TIPPING them here and there like a TIMPER.



When it was time for her to go, I brought the amount I usually give her for tfare, counted it so she know it was complete and then removed all the tips.


That was the last time that nonsense happened.

VampireeM:
Lol. The poster and his imaginary babe responding are same person. Spinning tales by moonlight because no pastor will give such counsel to unmarried couples. Assuming its true, they are not glued to each other so there is an option of walking away and not disturbing the cyberspace

Kondomatic:
One thing I find very annoying is somebody telling me how to spend my own money that's right inside my pocket.

Boss, you fall hand.

You see that place you buy bottled water for twice the price? Nah slap you deserve.


There was a time I was in Lagos for a seminar, I hanged out with babe and I noticed something about her. She used to come in the evening and leave in the morning[that's actually how I prefer my woman, like the moon. Show up in the evening and disappear in the morning] because of her work but this time she was free.


She likes to show off with my money.


We go here to eat, she will be like TIP this guy.

We go another place, TIP that guy.


The girl is nice TIP her, the gate man is kind TIP him, I was just laughing inside while TIPPING them here and there like a TIMPER.


When it was time for her to go, I brought the amount I usually give her for tfare, counted it so she know it was complete and then removed all the tips.


That was the last time that nonsense happened.

Anfield247:
The Op was busy dating a loan in the name of looking for a wife, hahahahaha...... Oh! to see better woman nowadays na prayer point!

tsmith:
She's obviously a liability. Pls advise her that in the new world a woman who wants respect must hold her own and hold it equally too. The 60:40 share sef is too fair. Something for you to be conscious about, Equal financial split works well when the house chores are equally split too. I'm hoping you're not leaving the cooking cleaning, washing etc to her, because then it'd be you eating your cake and still wanting to have it.

She's showing her true colours and so is marriage with her going to be. If it's not what you want, then borrow yourself brakes now.

Re: arguments, it's common especially when people start living together. Some people experience it especially after marriage if they didn't live together prior to. As you are currently living together differences will highlight, but how you go about resolving conflict is what's most important. In a loving, nurturing way, not combative and insult hurling. You guys need more relationship counselling.

Iamafinegirl:
Nope. I was a virgin waiting to Bleep only him as we were planing a wedding this year.
I was scared he would use and dump me like most men do

Amb1045:
please let him go, he is not the one. this bros no follow 14million in loans already

Iamafinegirl:
Did you tell them that when we are talking
“You are not serious is a big INSULT for you”
Did u tell then that when u say I like trump and I say “me I hater trump because of this and that” it is already an offense and you admitted to you having issues with me airing opinions because you are boss or what I don’t know?
Did you tell them a simple conversation or difference in opinion even on a gist is an insult to you?

Did you tell them I think of quality and wen a frying pan was needed I was saying the new expensive ones sef are not good, they burn. Second new is better in this case and we got a second new one? Because it’s not necessarily about cost but most times you won’t even be able to understand the depth of what I suggest sometimes.

Did you tell them I explained something one day that I paid money to so and so person to avoid a problem and you tried to give me another solution to have taken and I was like “me I don’t want wahala oo thats why I did what I did@ and because everything is fight and arguement for you you had stood up stormed out of the house because you felt i said I don’t want your wahala etc when all I was saying is that I didn’t want wahala if d issue boomeranged and so I didn’t even look for other means I just did d surest method in question” did u settle down to listen or because you never patient and always ready to call everything an argument or fight you had kickstarted your nature?

Did you tell them you wanted a car and I said this car is too expensive tell someone who we know imports to bring for you although the person could delay and may change the car you agreed on but I said do a written agreement with him so it would be cheaper for you and that way he won’t do anything funny ? And you would spend less and get a better grade or level like the one I got instead of paying for something lower at the same price as the one you paid for in town. Out of love, did you not turn it to fight and say I am wicked, and louded the issue and dramatised it as being evil.
Did you tell them you lied to me that you don’t drink or smoke?
But you drink and lied from foundation of a relationship to win a girl?
When I realised out of anger I said you lied to me you don’t drink but you are a drunkard.
Did your remember saying my father who doesn’t drink at all and you know fully is the drunkard
You have called me demonic woman
You have called me stupid woman
You have called me very stupid woman
The list is endless but if we discussing and you don’t understand what I am saying and I am frustrated talking and I say “you no dey understand English” you just flare up that that is a big insult.
Things that aren’t insults you made them insults to defend yourself.
Did you tell them the most times we went to Shoprite then I use to be the one buying things...and you usually pick nothing. So why should Shoprite be so expensive if I buy water “nestle water” and other things from there even before we ever dated and you used to follow me there to win me and I never asked you to pay for me or use you as a toaster?

Did you tell them that you are building and I am also building? And the months you spent all your salary not even on the building alone oo. Busy dashing people and at 3rd of the month you were broke and I was like how would we handle the house you said I am there and I held those months because that’s what a good woman would do.

Did you tell dem that wen you arrived at the counsellor we told them we had a 60k and 40k rule as at then but we just weren’t piling it in the same account and the pastor said ok we should do it as a joint account so no one would feel he is bringing all the money” and we stop spending differently. you told them it’s the pastor who proposed it or he told us that ok you people should just put the money in a seperate account and the wife asked what else is making you angry and you said contributions for repair should be added”.

Did you tell them that when your drivers license expired and there was a delay with joint account , you said you would keep some part of the contribution for where you stay but I must submit all my own contribution to your younger sisters account while you submit just some to her because you don’t trust me with money. The younger sister would now be the one dishing out the feeding money to me who is the one working? While you comfortably keep part of your contribution as a boss. Did you tell them I said you should give her all if i would also have to submit my own all to her since she is the chosen financial manager of our own institution so she can be dishing out money to both of us as at when due since distance is not a barrier to bank transfer so I would also monitor u because you don’t trust me with money and you want to monitor what I am eating when u aren’t even there with me.

Did you tell them you don’t live according to your means and you always borrowing and financing a lifestyle heavier than you inclusive of feeding (because you eat 70-80%) of all the food in the house? Did you tell them you have collected above 14 million naira loan and you haven’t completed any house you are building aside still having normal money people have used to complete their own houses.

Did you tell them you give them babes money and say send me your account number Cus I have seen it but to buy Apple extra for me out of a budget as per my love this one na for u from my pocket? Did you tell then as we came back from your location you had meeting with your babe asking if hostel has resumed and all by 6pm same day?

Did u tell them that I had been using clin-cap face cream, benzoxide peroxide face cream, and you have been using it with me and I have never said this cream is 2000 and the other is 1000 let’s contribute from budget but you bought olaybact for me 400 naira and you were balancing account for me?

Did you tell them I did a soap mix of 13000 naira to 15,000 naira and you have been lovingly using it With me since January and I have never in my life said your contribution for soap but you won’t even do it, if you did sef you would have been asking for money by now.

Did you tell them that even to buy apple while taking me to were you lived loveingly as per this is my new location has to be from the budget and that you couldn’t say babes aside this budget this for you?
Did you tell them I also contributed for the fuel as you were taking me lovingly to your new location? Location you dey go dey come yourself but as I go follow u go know d place I must pay for transport. I for kukuma just enter public transport. But I don’t even have a problem with that since that’s what he wanted. We just accounted for my path

Did you tell them...that I am not wasteful and you went ahead to do things you wanted to do and started blaming me for it. Like buying a new tv when your mum was around for them...knowing fully well I hardly look at a television and you did it for you and yours?
Did you tell them this girl who doesn’t contribute lovingly gives your sis money and also give your mum at least in the best way I can afford within my means but you no send me message so that’s my business you are not even seeing it. Na me send myself?
When last did you buy me a gift in a year and half? It was a wig when you were still trying to toast me. That was only when you were trying to win my heart.
Did you tell them you don’t do anything for me I don’t ask you for money for cloth, hair etc or my own fuel as I am a responsible adult and not a burden on a man which you know yourself. Did you let them know that the food you eat 70% of and the house repair you would do definitely if I am there or not is what you would always come and stand on my head for when we weren’t yet contributing in a joint account. Did you tell them you don’t take care of me and you are just so self centered about the feeding part because you eat more of the food? Yet I was still buying food oo no be say I go out and don’t bring anything to the house. I still buy meat, tomatoes, onion etc but maybe not just up to the person who consumes the 80%

Did u tell them d day you took me out and water was bought which was like two years ago was a special day I think maybe Valentine or my birthday or something and “I was only asking to be treated special”. As per today na correct day, spoil me na.
Did you tell them that I spoke of u buying some thing like blender or electronic because you need quality one to last. The cheap juicer bought did it last? No
Was there not finally a decision where the expensive “binatone” blender was picked because for some things, quality is important so it lasts?
Did you tell them I met condoms in your other room and you alleged it’s your boss that came to your house to use it? Because you couldn’t tell him no?
Did you tell them that if I want to do something you would use my car and if you want to do something you would use my car and I said love should cover all this there should be no differentiating of car for activities and you can use mine when you want and viceversal?

The day he said I said drug was too expensive did he tell you he spent all his income that month already by 3rd or so due to poor planning and I used my income all for the month for food. Ofcourse I am sure he borrowed as usual for fuel for his car that month and maybe some extra things like suya etc you may want to eat and that’s why I couldn’t afford to buy that cream or is it even tablet I desperately needed quality type of drug to treat that ailment because it use to be stubborn when it comes but couldn’t afford it that month ?

In addition I forgot. The generator I would tell you to put on when wet had a generator house while some or most Nigerians just make a metal cover or so for their generator. So rain fell and the splash I could look wasn’t much and I would say it’s not like water entered this thing in its house like Dt just few splash on surface. I owned a generator I ran without it having issue before meeting you and while you where toasting me. I didn’t know I am unqualified to run a gen. I stopped touching your gen because it was complain upon complain or I am arguing with you by having a different opinion about ah it’s small splashes. Ofcourse if a gen was drenched would I with my full senses say lets put it on? When Nigerians keep their gen outside with normal cover.

You would go out and meet the true definition of a Nigerian woman. Take care of her is what a man does, send her money for hair, dress, clothes etc.
And still buy food n do stuff.
You would remember I was never a burden on u
I hope you would have love enough for her to cover taking care of her abi u would start complaining and shouting on her too. I just hope you don’t faint then.

On the other hand I Wld meet the true definition of Nigerian man who knows he is to care. Simple

Splitmind:
Drop the link please

LordReed:
You are living with a selfish, self centered person but before I go on what qualities did you see in her that made you go into a relatiinship with her and what is making you keep the relationship?

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

Rawhumper:
[
Bro you seem to be a SIMP AND ASSLICKER.

You think even the ladies will clap for you for this thing you wrote?

Who doesn't know that putting hot pots inside fridge is wrong. Putting on wet Generator is dangerous too? Etc.

If its other issues then you can say what you said but never on the bolded.











quote author=Joshcoli post=99596072]

The bolded part made me understand you have a lot to learn. If simple issues as this is causing quarrel please free the innocent lady
A woman arguing from the angle of emotion and you are trying to answer her tactically, you will make no sense. Man up and learn how to
address especially un-important issues as this

Lomprico2:
Guy, you are sounding too petty to me o!
who rented the house, you
who owns all the properties in the house, you
who pays the Bill's in the house, you
why I am asking all these, because it's your house/apartment so you should buy the food you will eat in your house by yourself. She is your girl who chose to come live in with you this a guest. you are not married yet so take care of your house the way you will if you are living alone.
it's a good thing she is displaying all these characters. it simply tells you she is not the one for you. kick her out and move on and stop whining.

Babaken:
Please who is directing the movie.
If this story is true with all your level of education you are a MUMU man.

Mobog:
Ops I need to know who wrote this?
Abi na the GF be this?

emmanuelbrown26:
U HV said it all baba, I don't just understand the type of ass licking men we HV this day. The guy over pampers her from the onset, the guy played the gentle guy attitude too much.
Sometimes I wonder mothers that gv birth to all this asslickers

The5DME:
The amount of fake stories on Nairaland nowadays is appaling and the funniest thing about them is that they make frontpage.