₦airaland Forum

IamBroke:
Even me I'm guilty of this.. especially as a broke ass niqqer I find it hard to Toast girls that are financially stable.

One thing about them is that..they are so confident when talking to you.

You can't even use money to get them.
Most of them are so disrespectful because they have money..

Jesus Christ this is grossly wrong, and you have a complex too. A humble person will be humble regardless of wealth. It's up to individuality

COdeGenesis:
You are just jumping left and right. Is a married person still single? Respect yourselves as brothers and sisters in the lord. Let each member of the church have regard for each other. But Aunty when you get to the house RESPECT your husband because for men Love comes with respect. For men , love your wife because respect comes with LOVE. If in marriage you don't abide by this simple principle then you likely to encounter an issue

You're the one who's missing the point. You're single first before you become married. If you don't learn how to submit yourself to each other as a single person, you'd find it hard to "love and respect" each other when you get married.

Sixfeetbelle:
You're the one who's missing the point. You're single first before you become married. If you don't learn how to submit yourself to each other as a single person, you'd find it hard to "love and respect" each other when you get married.

You are still missing the point. Marriage brings a different view to it. Hence the reason he emphasized on it. Submitting yourself as brothers and sister in the lord is different from submitting to your husband as a wife. Loving your WIFE as a husband is different from loving your brothers and sisters in the lord. Aunty, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND BIKO, RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND. KNOW YOUR PLACE. MEN N WOMEN ARE WIRED DIFFERENTLY.

Hideki:
You are intelligent. If I were not married, I could have sent a . You obviously cannot survive on one income. My wife and I usually have series of dialogue for all our expenses per quarter. Q1-Q4. She presents budget on feeding, school fees, rent and car maintenance. I present the budget for the amount to be invested, saved and insured. We work out the math thoroughly. Although she often pads her budget. For a low middle income earner, you live in apartment where you pay 700k as rent plus fees and all, a single income cannot accommodate it. For the submission aspect, I don't even know what that means. We are friends and we help each other.

Submission means respect for you or regard for you. When your wife takes decision without consulting you, you tell her you don't like the friends she is moving with and she tells you she will rather divorce u than let go out those bad friends, she talks to you anyhow after all she has money and she can take care of herself without u, she does things at her own will without considering u. In your scenerio, you earn above or within the same range as your wife that's why, make she get plenty money pass you then you go understand

musicwriter:
I am not talking about unsuccessful marriages because, of course, not all marriages would be successful. Everyone knows that.

Tell me the role of wealth in successful marriages among poor people.

Ha too funny.

Your comment assumes you have the statistics to show you can be poor and have a successful marriage.

A lot of factors contribute to a successful marriage not just wealth (I'd swap d word wealth for comfort), but wealth/ability to provide is a key determinant of successful marriages.

Poor people may stay in marriages for a variety of reasons, eg no alternatives. I'm not certain you can keep a family happy if basic needs are a struggle, no school fees, no money for diapers, rent/food is a struggle etc.

Your point of view assumes a lot about the poor and their state of affairs, the truth is humans aspire for better rather than not, it's unlikely you'll find a human who will opt in for poverty in exchange for a successful marriage.

Examples r all around... Take Regina Daniels who dumped her young lover boy to marry an old billionaire with a wife and kids.

You're still on point though, similar outlook can keep a marriage but it ain't a one directional thing.. finances are the bedrock of stable happy marriages, then a bit more.

doxijaw:
Ha too funny.

Your comment assumes you have the statistics to show you can be poor and have a successful marriage.

A lot of factors contribute to a successful marriage not just wealth (I'd swap d word wealth for comfort), but wealth/ability to provide is a key determinant of successful marriages.

Poor people may stay in marriages for a variety of reasons, eg no alternatives. I'm not certain you can keep a family happy if basic needs are a struggle, no school fees, no money for diapers, rent/food is a struggle etc.

Your point of view assumes a lot about the poor and their state of affairs, the truth is humans aspire for better rather than not, it's unlikely you'll find a human who will opt in for poverty in exchange for a successful marriage.

Examples r all around... Take Regina Daniels who dumped her young lover boy to marry an old billionaire with a wife and kids.

You're still on point though, similar outlook can keep a marriage but it ain't a one directional thing.. finances are the bedrock of stable happy marriages, then a bit more.

That's your perception about marriage and I have nothing against that. The comment I quoted at first says the way a wife sees her husband would depend on her own perception.

There are couples who would love their partner not because of money but because they're honest or polite or kind or righteous or intelligent or meek or good in bed, etc. It all depend on their perception. Not your perception!!. You can't speak for anybody who has a different perception than yours.

musicwriter:
That's your perception about marriage and I have nothing against that. The comment I quoted at first says the way a wife sees her husband would depend on her own perception.

There are couples who would love their partner not because of money but because they're honest or polite or kind or righteous or intelligent or meek or good in bed, etc. It all depend on their perception. Not your perception!!. You can't speak for anybody who has a different perception than yours.

Off course, but it's a lot more complex than that!

doxijaw:
Off course, but it's a lot more complex than that!

Of course. But if you truly understand that, then you'll understand that money doesn't automatically guarantee a happy or successful marriage.

Ultimately, a successful marriage would still be based on not money but on couples sharing the same perception and philosophy of life in general, whether they're poor or wealthy. After all, there are couples out there that started poor in their marriage but got wealthy later in the marriage, then got divorced when they got rich. So, in this case money actually caused a divorce because it was never an issue from the beginning. This takes us back to the comment I responded at first.

musicwriter:
Of course. But if you truly understand that, then you'll understand that money doesn't automatically guarantee a happy or successful marriage.

Ultimately, a successful marriage would still be based on not money but on couples sharing the same perception and philosophy of life in general, whether they're poor or wealthy. After all, there are couples out there that started poor in their marriage but got wealthy later in the marriage, then got divorced when they got rich. So, in this case money actually caused a divorce because it was never an issue from the beginning. This takes us back to the comment I responded at first.

Saying money brings balance and increases your chances of success is not the same as saying the only factor needed for a successful marriage is money!


To add clarity to the argument, how does one control the many variables that can shift the perspective of an individual?

What about people who diverge from their core values after marriage.. sometimes during courtship?



Most people start off thinking they chose the right partner with similar interests/philosophy, but then realise they were wrong.

Do you think people would pick partners if they knew their core view's would change in future and clash with theirs?.

These thing's usually happen in hindsight and are unpredictable.


Perspectives are not constant, shifting incomes, responsibility, friends can change the narrative of one partner within an instant, it's a hindsight type of scenerio, so you'll never know for certain, more like a trial by faith kind of situation in which case if dice rolls in your favour can you confidently say a shared perspective made a success out of the marriage.

Like I said it's complex and bigger than holding shared philosophy as a major determinant of a successful marriage.

doxijaw:
Saying money brings balance and increases your chances of success is not the same as saying the only factor needed for a successful marriage is money!


To add clarity to the argument, how does one control the many variables that can shift the perspective of an individual?

What about people who diverge from their core values after marriage.. sometimes during courtship?



Most people start off thinking they chose the right partner with similar interests/philosophy, but then realise they were wrong.

Do you think people would pick partners if they knew their core view's would change in future and clash with theirs?.

These thing's usually happen in hindsight and are unpredictable.


Perspectives are not constant, shifting incomes, responsibility, friends can change the narrative of one partner within an instant, it's a hindsight type of scenerio, so you'll never know for certain, more like a trial by faith kind of situation in which case if dice rolls in your favour can you confidently say a shared perspective made a success out of the marriage.

Like I said it's complex and bigger than holding shared philosophy as a major determinant of a successful marriage.

It's based on shared philosophy as the determinant factor. When those shared views begin to change later in the marriage for any reason whatsoever, that's when you begin having compatibility issues. Then some would divorce and cite "irreconcilable difference" as the reason. Interestingly, irreconcilable difference is same as not sharing same philosophy about life.

I'm not scared o, I'm even searching around for a financial stable woman so that no woman go dey ask me for money.

COdeGenesis:
You are still missing the point. Marriage brings a different view to it. Hence the reason he emphasized on it. Submitting yourself as brothers and sister in the lord is different from submitting to your husband as a wife. Loving your WIFE as a husband is different from loving your brothers and sisters in the lord. Aunty, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND BIKO, RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND. KNOW YOUR PLACE. MEN N WOMEN ARE WIRED DIFFERENTLY

You should know better than to give me this nonsense advice, especially when you're not even listening to what I said

Sixfeetbelle:
You should know better than to give me this nonsense advice, especially when you're not even listening to what I said

So you are indirectly saying the bible is nonsense

COdeGenesis:
So you are indirectly saying the bible is nonsense

Your words, not mine

Romanoff:
I believe submission is earned. The man earns submission by loving his wife.

Take away the money many men have and see their marriage crumble cause the so called "true colours" of the woman appears cause the money was a tool used to keep her controlled.

Take it or leave it, argue it, it's my opinion and I stand by it.

Being a broke man in a marriage or relationship never works.

Money is a tool Women respect and no matter the sermon anyone preach will every change it.

Being a good guy is something to emulate, but respect doesn't come from being good really, you need to be that man a women want. Women want men with money, status & someone with a potential future, so if the man is also a humble & kind guy, then that's jackpot for ladies.

So yes, women place value on you based on how much you make. Oh well, not all women but a lot of them.

I agree life isn't all about money, but women truly submit to money. If we keep it 100.