₦airaland Forum

Op this is very great and hillarious
Never finished a full thread in a long while, but I did today.
Op God bless you.

AMI3:
Pleasè watSap me 0
08154933420 your link is not working

Alright sir/ma.

Try come complete this story make I for relate am to watin happened to me when I dey look for house rent.

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time oh my ribs.

deavicky:
Try come complete this story make I for relate am to watin happened to me when I dey look for house rent.

still waiting oh

Funny as f**k my belle won burst

Thanks for putting a smile on my face OP.

Op don go buy market, he never expected this story to drawn attention like this, now my guy is under pressure to conclude the story with a standing ovation.

SirMichael1:
Take down that spoiler alert joor. Don't kill the fun of having to find out that it's fiction afterall. You've even killed my desire to continue reading the story self.

Abeg continue, I don modified the comment.

This fiction pushed me to get an account on Nairaland.
Ave been laughing out loud�.

KosiGee:
Calm down mister. Not everyone will find this story funny.
I laughed till he saw the landlord’s daughter and the ‘three bats’...mosquitoes. Rubbish. He exaggerated a bit too much and it took the shine out of the story....then the dog coming out from the cage and chasing him and his friend!....

You believed this story?? Did you find it funny?

No disrespect to the op and all those who liked the story...

The script was badly done and it was childish.

You are technically correct but the taste of the akara is in the eating. For the first time in my life, I've gone through this post, page by page because I don't want to miss any bit. So, your "technical" analysis is useless. Do you think Fela would come in top 30 of any music audition? But today, Fela is being studied as part of some courses. Appreciate the laugh please.

This story is too Faaridalicious. If you know you know

Very humorous. You will make a good novelist.

While typing, I am following.....

RealGboy:
I have been house hunting for a while now.
My plan was to get at least a one bedroom self contain, but the price was too high, the least I got was 150k (agreement/commission inclusive). And I have just 60k, my friend decided to introduce me to one caretaker and the man told me there is a house of 1500 per month and with agreement and commission it would cost me 50k to start but that it is a face me I face you.

He also assured me that it is a good place and infact a steal, he said the landlord made it so cheap because he's a man of God. Na so my joy increased and without further ado I told him to let us go check the place out.

We arranged to go there in the afternoon but it was delayed and we later got there round 6pm
On getting there I realized that it is a gated compound which is a plus for me, but when we got there the caretaker refused to enter even though the gate was unlocked, he started calling one of the tenant to pls come and open the gate
I asked him why and he said there is a Dog in the compound and nobody dares enter carelessly, he said even the landlord had slept outside the gate many times because of the Dog.

I was shocked and I find it both hilarious and stupid, a whole landlord that could not enter his own compound because of tenant's dog. While we were still talking the Dog owner came out, called the dog chained it and then ask us to come in.

When we entered my heart jumped cos i saw a big lion I started screaming lion!!!! Lion !!! Lion!!!..
The caretaker told me to relax and said it's not a lion but a Dog, when I heard Dog my jaw dropped, na Dog big like this, I'm 5.7ft tall and this Dog is almost my height and very robust ,na there I understand why the landlord sleep outside.

I told the Dog owner who introduced himself to me as brother Charles that this animal should be in a zoo but he just laughed and told me I will understand the reasons why the Dog is there later.

We proceeded into the house, which is a one storey building, there is a borehole in the compound which means water is not a problem.
On getting to the room I was to rent, immediately we opened the Door, Me and the caretaker was almost ambushed by cats, big big cats, about four of them, when they saw us they rushed towards us in an attempt to flee and for the second time in few minutes my heart jumped again.

My shock was reshocked when the caretaker told me that once I fix the Door net the rats won't be able to enter, I thought he made a mistake so I told him "you mean Cat" he said no that those animals are rats.

Omo I gave up, I didn't know when I screamed ahhhhhhhhh, but why all the animals for this compound con big pass normal size now I asked him..he assured me that it's nothing and it is only big because I'm seeing it for the first time and by the time I get used to them it won't be special anymore..

I just lost I wanted to give up on the house but the room was actually big and clean, and the ceiling was p.o.p the man was right when he said it is a steal..

The caretaker told me to check it out myself why he quickly goes out to recieve a call..
Na there I con dey wonder, Dog be like Lion. Rat be like Cat.

Wetin mosquito go con be like ?..
While I was still wondering I heard soft female voice greeting me.

Typing ...

KosiGee:
Calm down mister. Not everyone will find this story funny.
I laughed till he saw the landlord’s daughter and the ‘three bats’...mosquitoes. Rubbish. He exaggerated a bit too much and it took the shine out of the story....then the dog coming out from the cage and chasing him and his friend!....

You believed this story?? Did you find it funny?

No disrespect to the op and all those who liked the story...

The script was badly done and it was childish.

Well, share the wonderful ones you have written and let see how matured it is

Kondomatic:
The whole Nigeria pastors combined cannot restore your sense of humor.

Ahahahahahaha!

Mbok who is the OP?
My kids think something is wrong with me, they really haven't heard their dad laugh this loud.

KosiGee:
Calm down mister. Not everyone will find this story funny.
I laughed till he saw the landlord’s daughter and the ‘three bats’...mosquitoes. Rubbish. He exaggerated a bit too much and it took the shine out of the story....then the dog coming out from the cage and chasing him and his friend!....

You believed this story?? Did you find it funny?

No disrespect to the op and all those who liked the story...

The script was badly done and it was childish.

depression is real

Nice one...

ZUKKYY:
where is this guy nah... mak I count money wa I go give you

Bring that money

Beze992:
You're welcome

Onyekuzi

...

laughing and trying to hold yourself back is a bitch ;Di dey try control my laughter before this sick patients will feel bad ... see as i won choke patients just dey look me.

RealGboy:
When I got home , I realized my friend wasn't home , I called him and he told me to meet him in a police station nearby.. police station ?? Wetin happen ?. He did not reply just hung up .

When I got there I saw my friend with plaster and bandages all over his face and legs ,, the Dog really injured him , my friend saw me and urge me to come and write my own statement too, on the Dog matter ,


The police told me not to fear and that What my friend is doing is the right thing, they assured me that They would saction both the landlord and the Dog owner and make them pay for my friend injuries and also give me back my house rent money if I want.


Na so I carry Biro write epistle on what happened,,the police then called us to inform us that whatever money they pay my friend they will collect half for thier fee and we agreed ..


I went back home that night with mixed feeling ,I know involving the police will make me lose the house and that means I won't see fareedah again, but well atleast I'll be alive .

Next day we went to the police station again and together with 4 police men we proceeded to the house ,on gettin'there ,the police officers did not even bother to knock ,they just barged Into the compound and started shouting asking everyone to come out.


Me and my friend checked the cage and noticed that the Dog was not there ,but we were calm because the police officers was with us .

Out of nowhere the Dog pounced on one officer and started biting the leg ,omo see commotion,instead of the other three officers to intervene for thier colleague ,to our shock they took to thier heels ,

You need to see race that day na my friend I pity pass because the guy was still recovering.

The police officers started running faster than us as if they were possessed ,


when we all finally got to a safe place ,the 3 officers turned to me and my friend and handcuffed us, we were shocked ,when we asked them why and what our offence was?.they replied that we committed four offence.
(1) "Lying to a policeman

,(2) Tendering False information

(3) manipulation

and finally (4) attempted murder "..shoo all these big grammar for why now? We did nothing officers na " I replied,.

They said we wrote Dog in our statement knowing fully well that it was a Lion thereby putting thier life at risk...they said if they had knew it was a Lion they would have come with better machinery ..

But It's not a lion it's a Dog sir " ..we argued but this officers refused to listen , instead they gave me a hot slap and told me to keep quiet , " Shut up who you be, you think say we no go school to know difference between Lion and dog ? "..
I couldn't utter any more word , they dragged us to the police station and put us behind bars


We later found out that the policeman that was attacked had been badly injured and lost a lot of blood ..

Before long both the Dog owner and the Landlord joined us in prison with half of the compound .

While in the prison both the landlord and the Dog owner kept shouting at each other ,the landlord blamed the tenant for bringing such Dog while the tenant blamed the landlord for not doing anything about the high level of insecurity in the compound..

When they finally calm down after another tenant begged both party the word that came out of my mouth was."Hope your daughter fareedah is safe sir "..





The man replied


Typing ......

This is what Nigerians need at this point...a close look into his exaggerations list shows you how the lying information minister over exaggerates with his lies...the running driver and his passengers are a picture of the banditry we are currently facing daily for this obodo.
To anyone who doesn't see the funny, and I mean really funny side of this comedy writeup by the OP, my dear over serious elements...you are really really sick!!
OP-continue with the good work of making us laugh. I had tears in my eyes from a good laugh. GOD BLESS YOU. More inspiration to continue the good work of well exaggerated and comedic lines.

chingle5:
This OP guy dey lie....e lie pass lie muhammad... .... We know say u just dey give us uninterrupted supply of lie but we like am like dat how dog go big like lion mosquitoes like bat diz OP just burst my brain left and right hmmmmm God dey watch you ooooooo... Kontinue...sharing the lies

Omo D Bobo Get Lamba 4 Mouth. If Dis Guy Jam Ur Babe One On One, Ur Babe Don Go Be Dat.

jrusky:
Pls did you typed all these yourself or you copied and paste them? Because for a young dude to typed these long epistle of lion, dog, cat, bat, front and back etc on Saturday morning look wierd.

what is weird about a young guy being creative?

Super Thread, even the comments are funny .

Oh boy you be confirm werey o, Iswearogawd.

You should be writing for a weekend funny paper.

Raychee:
Actually I've seen two dogs bigger than a lion. They're rare but they exist. But they were gentle giants

Sister, Do U Mean Bigger Like A Lion Or Bigger Dan A Lion?

jrusky:
Pls did you typed all these yourself or you copied and paste them? Because for a young dude to typed these long epistle of lion, dog, cat, bat, front and back etc on Saturday morning look wierd.

All Join.

Op you must finish this story..I hope the soft female voice is not zzor?

We are waiting

RealGboy:
I have been house hunting for a while now.
My plan was to get at least a one bedroom self contain, but the price was too high, the least I got was 150k (agreement/commission inclusive). And I have just 60k, my friend decided to introduce me to one caretaker and the man told me there is a house of 1500 per month and with agreement and commission it would cost me 50k to start but that it is a face me I face you.

He also assured me that it is a good place and infact a steal, he said the landlord made it so cheap because he's a man of God. Na so my joy increased and without further ado I told him to let us go check the place out.

We arranged to go there in the afternoon but it was delayed and we later got there round 6pm
On getting there I realized that it is a gated compound which is a plus for me, but when we got there the caretaker refused to enter even though the gate was unlocked, he started calling one of the tenant to pls come and open the gate
I asked him why and he said there is a Dog in the compound and nobody dares enter carelessly, he said even the landlord had slept outside the gate many times because of the Dog.

I was shocked and I find it both hilarious and stupid, a whole landlord that could not enter his own compound because of tenant's dog. While we were still talking the Dog owner came out, called the dog chained it and then ask us to come in.

When we entered my heart jumped cos i saw a big lion I started screaming lion!!!! Lion !!! Lion!!!..
The caretaker told me to relax and said it's not a lion but a Dog, when I heard Dog my jaw dropped, na Dog big like this, I'm 5.7ft tall and this Dog is almost my height and very robust ,na there I understand why the landlord sleep outside.

I told the Dog owner who introduced himself to me as brother Charles that this animal should be in a zoo but he just laughed and told me I will understand the reasons why the Dog is there later.

We proceeded into the house, which is a one storey building, there is a borehole in the compound which means water is not a problem.
On getting to the room I was to rent, immediately we opened the Door, Me and the caretaker was almost ambushed by cats, big big cats, about four of them, when they saw us they rushed towards us in an attempt to flee and for the second time in few minutes my heart jumped again.

My shock was reshocked when the caretaker told me that once I fix the Door net the rats won't be able to enter, I thought he made a mistake so I told him "you mean Cat" he said no that those animals are rats.

Omo I gave up, I didn't know when I screamed ahhhhhhhhh, but why all the animals for this compound con big pass normal size now I asked him..he assured me that it's nothing and it is only big because I'm seeing it for the first time and by the time I get used to them it won't be special anymore..

I just lost I wanted to give up on the house but the room was actually big and clean, and the ceiling was p.o.p the man was right when he said it is a steal..

The caretaker told me to check it out myself why he quickly goes out to recieve a call..
Na there I con dey wonder, Dog be like Lion. Rat be like Cat.

Wetin mosquito go con be like ?..
While I was still wondering I heard soft female voice greeting me.

Typing ...

KosiGee:
Calm down mister. Not everyone will find this story funny.
I laughed till he saw the landlord’s daughter and the ‘three bats’...mosquitoes. Rubbish. He exaggerated a bit too much and it took the shine out of the story....then the dog coming out from the cage and chasing him and his friend!....

You believed this story?? Did you find it funny?

No disrespect to the op and all those who liked the story...

The script was badly done and it was childish.

Take it easy man, it's not that deep. The OP didnt claim his story was factual, and he didnt tell you he was a professional writer or story teller, so please save your needless criticism for elsewhere.

Talking of childish, you're actually the one who sounds childish for inferring that those who enjoyed the story believe it to be m factual. The very fact that you couldn't recognise a fictional story, but rather think it's a poor job because of some exaggerations, that already exposes how unqualified you to judge any art.

Truvel:
All Join.

Ok nah. Weldone.