So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

It will only get worse

Be the father of your child and run from the relationship as fast as possible.

Free pvssy got you blind and you will pay for the consequences. Only option is a limited consequence, and entails you to run for your life.

Your happiness is paramount

Condom could have prevented this!

You don't want to face responsibility man... Didnt you see all of this when the relationship was still young or before she got pregnant. You will understand the real definition of lazy soon. Update us in few months time.

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

Baba be a man and stop complaining. Men like you put up with housewives. Abi u no see the lazy unambitious attitude before pouring inside? Rest please.

Imagine the lady wasnt even ready to be a mother but you whined and forced her and you here complaining

How do you guys do it sef? Those people selling condoms have they all died? Why are you forcing yourself to do things that your heart doesn't accept?
Be a father to your child and take some time to cool off(both of you) don't be in a haste to get married because you may end up gnashing your teeth in pure agony when things ain't going your way.
Pussy whipped indeed! You better give yourself brain before you become a shadow of yourself all in the name of trying to make things work out between you both.
Both of you are supposed to be on the same page making sure that the relationship or marriage sails smoothly, anything one sided doesn't last. Take that as a cue and halt whatever you think you are doing, after your kid is born you can decide to push through with the marriage plans if you notice any positive changes with your woman and if no changes occurs, face your child squarely and be happy.

Boss,i will not judge you like the rest of them because i have been in your shoes, well, except the baby part.


At this point, just try to bury the dislike you have for her, only give her money for the baby and for food. As for her personal upkeep, tell her she has to work for her money.

Michelle55:
How do you guys do it sef? Those people selling condoms have they all died? Why are you forcing yourself to do things that your heart doesn't accept?
Be a father to your child and take some time to cool off(both of you) don't be in a haste to get married because you may end up gnashing your teeth in pure agony when things ain't going your way.
Pussy whipped indeed! You better give yourself brain before you become a shadow of yourself all in the name of trying to make things work out between you both.
Both of you are supposed to be on the same page making sure that the relationship or marriage sails smoothly, anything one sided doesn't last. Take that as a cue and halt whatever you think you are doing, after your kid is born you can decide to push through with the marriage plans if you notice any positive changes with your woman and if no changes occurs, face your child squarely and be happy.

So! Who Marries his after used woman then? That,soon to be father,isn't a rational minded man period...... PINNED.

Well, try and see if she will change. Congratulations, Daddy.

My brother, small small, na so you don marry that girl wey lazy ooo

Abeg, your wedding location make I come chop fried rice and chicken?



I Dey feel sey this girl house go dey dirty join.. hope she dey wash her pata

She's preggy....that's an ambition already

People are always quick to forget that raw is war for unmarried partners

Tooh, Noted!
Àti Gbọ̀
Kajiko
Otiyemi
Understood!
No Comment,
Next!!!

Kingluqman:
My brother, small small, na so you don marry that girl wey lazy ooo

Abeg, your wedding location make I come chop fried rice and chicken?



I Dey feel sey this girl house go dey dirty join.. hope she dey wash her pata

lols

HacheNoire:
It will only get worse

Be the father of your child and run from the relationship as fast as possible.

Free pvssy got you blind and you will pay for the consequences. Only option is a limited consequence, and entails you to run for your life.

Your happiness is paramount

So if someone did that to ur sis u"ll tell him "to run frm the relationship as fast as possible" because he was blind and couldnt see d writing on d wall b4 getting her pregnant abi....

The only way to peace of mind is to register it in your mind right from the start that your woman is just coming to have sex and have kids....

Get all the money....
& Get house help....


It’s what You have that y’all will spend....If it’s plenty ...good....If it’s not plenty...all good naanii...

If you can’t afford to foot all the bill...no marry Abeg...

meobizy:
Happy Father’s Day in advance. I hope you saved enough. Pampers don dey cost for market.

Sis speak louder make the guy hear. Na because of rising cost of pampers and other baby stuffs make me take my time dey plan to relocate to a better place where govt helps couples through child support. No be to bang pussy be the problem...na to bear responsibility from reckless and incessant banging be the koko...

SweetCunt97:
Baba be a man and stop complaining. Men like you put up with housewives. Abi u no see the lazy unambitious attitude before pouring inside? Rest please.

Imagine the lady wasnt even ready to be a mother but you whined and forced her and you here complaining

Lik seriously..nd der introduction is just nextweek nd op is already on d forum 4 validations....smh some guys sha

merieam16:
So if someone did that to ur sis u"ll tell him "to run frm the relationship as fast as possible" because he was blind and couldnt see d writing on d wall b4 getting her pregnant abi....e ma fi kan shi ro ara yin

Any sister of mine that is lazy, unambitous, and sees a man/marriage as a get out of jail free card should be ready to face the consequences...

coolsegun2002:


Any sister of mine that is lazy, unambitous, and sees a man/marriage as a get out of jail free card should be ready to face the consequences...

I dont see any consequences here.They had sex, enjoyed it nd they are aving a beautiful baby together so ?

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

Na lie you must marry that girl. I just dey laugh at you. when you dey comot her bra up and down...dey turn her for bed like barber chair...360 degrees...you no reason she dey lazy. Ogbeni no leave no transfer...you must marry that girl.

When she born pikin get a house help. When your first child grows to like 4 to 5 years. Pay off the house help and train your kids to be hard working unlike their mom. let them learn how to do the house chores from their early days. Allow them to cook if she can't cook. Anyhow they cook am all man will eat it like that. Train them your own way. In my home we were trained without a house help. I cooked my first jollof rice at Nursery 3. The food no make sense. But my parents commended me and all man ate the food.

Marry her. But don't be quick to get her pregnant again. Ensure that this one whether boy or girl reach like 3 to 4 yrs, then you must have found some footing in your plans for your life.

She will be quick to double the kids, that's their way. Once they get married and have a baby...it's uhuru for them na to multiply the babies be their next ambition...so be in charge of the birth. Control the birth rate yourself.

Peace man...marry her

This issue is the easiest that I have come across. With a little bit of understanding, both of them will have a perfect marriage. Now, let's analyze the issue. She's educated, but you think she's unambitious. That's a lie! She just doesn't enjoy doing whatever job you're pushing her to for reasons best known to her. Bros, I'd advise you take her out for dinner one beautiful night and calmly ask her what type of job she'd like to go into. You'll be amazed. My wife is a degree holder, but prefers owning her own shop. I once forced her to work for a company, it almost killed her self-esteem. But now that she's in her preferred area, she's shining.


Secondly, on the issue of laziness. I think you just need to sit down with men and let them tell you first-hand what marriage entails. Almost all women find chores stressful. They enjoy roaming the house naked, watching television and enjoying themselves. Who wouldn't? I'll advise you play a trick on her. Whenever you return from work, tell her the usual line; 'work was stressful today, this and that happened bla bla bla'. Then, proceed to cleaning the house in her presence. Do it with a smile on your face. Trust me, her conscience will prick her. Some women are like that, words and threats won't work on them. Just appeal to their conscience. I believe your lady is a wonderful person since she isn't even pretending to be hardworking just to trick you into marrying her.


Thirdly, on the issue of pregnancy and the everyday drama that comes with it. Bros, I'll be very honest with you. The initial stage of marriage is filled with drama. Do you know why? Both of you ain't used to each other yet. You're beginning to observe the unpleasant sides of each other. Now, what's the solution to this? Take your minds off the negatives and focus on the positives. Think of the stuffs that your wife is good at and let it motivate you to want to make your marriage work. Compliment her for it, and tell her to her face that she's the best in that area. Then, watch her try to improve on her weak areas. It's a bit complex than how I've put it, I pray you find a way around it.

PS- It took my wife more than 4 years to understand that she has to tidy the house before going to shop. You can guess who was doing the cleaning for those 4 years. Lolz. Marriage hard o, but again, compared to what?

merieam16:
I dont see any consequences here.They had sex, enjoyed it nd they are aving a beautiful baby together so ?

If there’s no consequences here..why were you saying if it’s someone sister earlier ..would the person what the guy to do that...?.As if he must marry her...

It’s because u know consequences of leaving her pregnant, unambitous, lazy, and jobless azz won’t be pretty...

Faber:


Na lie you must marry that girl. I just dey laugh at you. when you dey comot her bra up and down...dey turn her for bed like barber chair...360 degrees...you no reason she dey lazy. Ogbeni no leave no transfer...you must marry that girl.

When she born pikin get a house help. When your first child grows to like 4 to 5 years. Pay off the house help and train your kids to be hard working unlike their mom. let them learn how to do the house chores from their early days. Allow them to cook if she can't cook. Anyhow they cook am all man will eat it like that. Train them your own way. In my home we were trained without a house help. I cooked my first jollof rice at Nursery 3. The food no make sense. But my parents commended me and all man ate the food.

Marry her. But don't be quick to get her pregnant again. Ensure that this one whether boy or girl reach like 3 to 4 yrs, then you must have found some footing in your plans for your life.

She will be quick to double the kids, that's their way. Once they get married and have a baby...it's uhuru for them na to multiply the babies be their next ambition...so be in charge of the birth. Control the birth rate yourself.

Peace man...marry her

Take it easy buddy... You are just sentencing him to BY FORCE MARRIAGE......with hard labour of cooking and cleaning.....

Cutehector:
Boss,i will not judge you like the rest of them because i have been in your shoes, well, except the baby part.


At this point, just try to bury the dislike you have for her, only give her money for the baby and for food. As for her personal upkeep, tell her she has to work for her money.

I'd like to hear your story.

Richy4:



Take it easy buddy... You are just sentencing him to BY FORCE MARRIAGE......with hard labour of cooking and cleaning.....

My brother let's be realistic. The 21st Century woman wants freedom. Many girls in Europe and America don't even care to do house chores any longer. It's very sad but that's the reality. Op is very lucky to meet a girl who got European mentality, but in African body. The house chores should not be a problem, the two of them can focus on making money. Then can get a house help and when their kids reach like 5 yrs they will cater for the chores...only the hard ones will he have to intervene in. His kids will be more hard working and serious than their mom.

With they way am seeing it. The lady will give op a lot of hard times if op deceides to go through the baby mama apian way...she will milk op woto woto. Better to marry her...at least she is very good some places.

Raalsalghul:


I'd like to hear your story.

urm, i dont bring my personal life on nairaland for obvious reasons.

jondon11:


Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

You wanted to have a baby with her now stand by it. You have already made your choice. Don't even consider separation until you have tried everything possible to make it work. And even after you have done everything possible, try more. You are a father to be, you owe it to your child.

Also remember that after the honeymoon phase of a relationship, the adjustment phase comes. In every relationship there will be bumps on the road which you will have to overcome. And every partner will show you something that you will have to either tolerate or work on with them as a team.

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

When you were fucking her wet pussy did you tell us ? Every mallam with him kettle o. Abeeegg