Baba follow these steps

- let her know you really love her and wont mind spending a lifetime but adding a baby now would cut short the joy just yet.
- getting her to a sober moments matters hence going to see a good O and G. For a proper surgical D n C. Note that you dont take delicate risk using some self acclaimed family doctor, ensure u use a qualified O n G in a standard clinic after carefully explaining your situation
- after successful DnC, get her a room apartment along with her tools, sshe resumme their daily and return to ur house at night to review her performance at WFH.
- tutor her and mentor her to raise good capital for herself within 3 month thereafter find out her other passion in terms of biz,
- see her thru setting her up in a shop or thereabout
- then if she is still into you, u may take the next step under careful planning. Ensure u dont get her pregnant during this period and allow her make all her decisions
- note that you may lose a successful lady afterwards but not ur peace of mind and ambitions.
My advice is both of you are not ready for married life so dont attempt it, it take more than some sexxy night to stay married.

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

Two of you should discuss

MufasaLion:
Condom could have prevented this!

Na so e easy bro,condom and without condom na the same?,besides 95% of our girls hate condom with passion,.
You should have suggested, "family planning" or other methods to prevent pregnancy not condom because it is easier said than done.

merieam16:
I dont see any consequences here.They had sex, enjoyed it nd they are aving a beautiful baby together so ?

Lol. If you don't see any consequences, your judgement should be called into question. That girl is in trouble if you don't know. Deep trouble. And her trouble has only just begun.

As soon as she has that kid, that guy's love for her , if there's any left, will take a very steep dive. The guy is already seeing her as a burden unable to contribute to his progress in any meaningful way. You just wait until he starts seeing his friends progressing more than him or feel a few of life's challenges and realize he cannot look towards his wife for succor. I said her suffering just started.

She will be blamed for every stagnation, every retrogression. She will be ignored and undermined at every turn. As soon as that guy meets an ambitious girl later, he would not even hide the fact that he is cheating on her and will make it so plain and in her face so he can be rid of her.

She go soon hear am.

Keep wondering what the consequences are.

Hathor5:


You wanted to have a baby with her now stand by it. You have already made your choice. Don't even consider separation until you have tried everything possible to make it work. And even after you have done everything possible, try more. You are a father to be, you owe it to your child.

Also remember that after the honeymoon phase of a relationship, the adjustment phase comes. In every relationship there will be bumps on the road which you will have to overcome. And every partner will show you something that you will have to either tolerate or work on with them as a team.

You made a very sensible point,

I don’t know why OP is just jumping into conclusion, OP is already getting turned off even before the main relationship kick off and with that mentality, I fear their case may be added to divorce case we have on ground.


@OP, pls give the relationship the best to work out, you can invest in any business for her to manage and see if she will manage it well, just ask her what kind of business she will like to do and invest in it for her.


Relationship is tolerance and endurance, if any relationship lack that, nothing can make it last.

coolsegun2002:


Any sister of mine that is lazy, unambitous, and sees a man/marriage as a get out of jail free card should be ready to face the consequences...

Easier said, just to prove a point, mtcheew

Dont go into marriage if you cant live with her. You will mess up your life

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

Both of you seem not to be prepared for marriage, she is lazy, you are the only one catering for everything don't marry her rather cater for the unborn baby, such a marriage will spell doom, already you have started complaining, marriage is to be enjoyed when two adults fully agreed both physically, spiritually and financially and not to be enduring regrets.

Obynolee:




Na so e easy bro,condom and without condom na the same?,besides 95% of our girls hate condom with passion,.
You should have suggested, "family planning" or other methods to prevent pregnancy not condom because it is easier said than done.

You're right tho but how could he be dating someone that's not even ambitious?.

Other guys can learn from this. Always use protection

It is the oldest trick of lazy ladies to hook a man with pregnancy. Don't believe for one day that she wanted to abort it.

Do not go ahead with the marriage plans and if possible avoid continuing to live together.

You can't come out of it so happy.

For the same of the unknown though, you can work on her mindset to understand how important it is for a woman to have her own income.

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

What kind of online job do you do please? I'm not a good relationship advisor

Uprightness100:
If the Foundation be Destroyed , what can the righteous do?
Marriage is honorable with the bed undefiled..

When the Foundation has be broken and the bed defiled, whatever you see, you take it like that with Joy and No Complain..

Does not mean he must marry her

Maryjane001:
When u were diving in raw, did u reason all this?. I wonder how you people invest in useless relationships, like is it worth the time and all that?.

When he was diving in raw, he wasn’t in his right sense but when he cum, he came in his right sense...

U are also a lazy man for giving a lazy girl pregnant..what type of nonsense is this?

That's the trend with many of these craze women we call our girlfriends today. The moment they find out that you as the Man have something doing, they would not want to do anything anymore.
Have you sat her down to talk somethings out with her? Have you? Have you thought of calling her siblings and let her be advised by them? How old is she? Sometimes, many a time, they do get carried away by things like those and stuff. She has access to your bank accounts and all, she sees things how much moves in and out of the account, so working out with her own hands is bah shiga. I'm not even sure she understands the country she lives in, because you have been there. When she wants anything, you there to foot the bills. If you behave like you not in the picture, she'd try to adjust somehow.
I had a girl like that once. Do everything for her. Still even tolerated her, she day fuck_ me and another guy at the same time, but she gave more concentration to the other guy. Very lazy, cannot do anything on her own, sought jobs for her, even admission, no one she gree do.
Today, it's a different story, today it's a different story truly. The same way we separated, na so she use day. What you'd do is, try talking to her, in the event she still adamant on her ridiculous attitude, it's best you bring in her family members to hear and see things yourself,she has your child now.
Try talking about these things with her. Na why una day together. Bringing a child into the world is no child's play. You both need be up and doing, I hope you know?

You called her lazy and lack ambition right?, when you are jumping up and down on her you did not know that she's lazy and lack ambition, you must be out of your senses

When she gave you the abortion option you did not agree so what do you want us to do? Sha take responsibility for that child since it seems like you are capable, but secondly, how are you guys and girls always so damn blind to not notice someone's behaviour before everything goes south? I just don't understand all these threads complaining about issues when it is too late already.

Don't read the long epistle but I know for sure that OP is in big mess... you got a lazy and no ambition view lady pregnant.

Congrat ooo

Michelle55:
How do you guys do it sef? Those people selling condoms have they all died? Why are you forcing yourself to do things that your heart doesn't accept?
Be a father to your child and take some time to cool off(both of you) don't be in a haste to get married because you may end up gnashing your teeth in pure agony when things ain't going your way.
Pussy whipped indeed! You better give yourself brain before you become a shadow of yourself all in the name of trying to make things work out between you both.
Both of you are supposed to be on the same page making sure that the relationship or marriage sails smoothly, anything one sided doesn't last. Take that as a cue and halt whatever you think you are doing, after your kid is born you can decide to push through with the marriage plans if you notice any positive changes with your woman and if no changes occurs, face your child squarely and be happy.

hmmmmm....the pvssy sweet am that is why pour...

Your girl is not lazy, she opened the 2 legs very well, she cums so good that she conceived, what a great baby! She is lucky to have you hardly working man.

SHE IS A LUCKY PERSON IN LIFE AND THE LUCK WILL TOUCHES YOU. AWOMEN!

Teleprompter:
Other guys can learn from this. Always use protection

It is the oldest trick of lazy ladies to hook a man with pregnancy. Don't believe for one day that she wanted to abort it.

Do not go ahead with the marriage plans and if possible avoid continuing to live together.

You can't come out of it so happy.

For the same of the unknown though, you can work on her mindset to understand how important it is for a woman to have her own income.

So what about the pregnancy between them.

And you got your girlfriend pregnant with your ambition.... ode

VIsionles simps doing what they do best

Obynolee:




Na so e easy bro,condom and without condom na the same?,besides 95% of our girls hate condom with passion,.
You should have suggested, "family planning" or other methods to prevent pregnancy not condom because it is easier said than done.

Any girl that says that you shouldn't use condom when you both are not ready should be sent away immediately, this isn't an excuse, if you no fit find girl wey go smash with condom you jerk off simple. You people don't understand how terrible it is to bring a child into suffering.

bros to be ambitious in nigeria is hard. this heat just weakens you. aabeg manage the babe like that. she is the mother of your child.

Richy4:


My brother, I am happy for this comment....the courtship/ leaving with her have made you to know the kind of woman she is... That's a mighty plus for you...
Now that you have known her and can pretty much predict what she can or cannot do, what to do with the 'information" at your disposal is what matters...
You know that she needed a little and gentle push....as someone that compliments you, what you do is to give her that push with love...Based on this comment, I can analyze it that you guys were like car and petrol.. without the petrol, the car cannot move...and the petrol is useless if cars were not made/manufactured...
Please as u are giving the gentle push, do it with respect.. do it with love and do it with maturity and understanding... Wishing u the best buddy...

This is a nice comment but only works in a perfect world. The essence of dating/courtship (not sure which one the OP did since he just opened his house for free sex) is to understand your partner well and see if you can proceed to marry them. The OP clearly doesn't like her lazy and entitled attitude. The worst thing you can do is to go into a relationship or marriage with the goal of changing someone. You should take your partner for who they are. If there's anything about them you can't live with then just take a hike and move on. Its not your job to change anyone. What if you marry them on the false premise that they Will change and they end up the same? You end up irritated in a marriage with someone whose attitude disgusts you. That being said there's a baby involved and nobody wants to deprieve an unborn child of a family. The OP should man up and bear his cross. That's the responsible thing to do. Without the baby I'd have advised the OPbto get that girl out of his life since her attitude irritates him. There are plenty of potential partners out there that have exactly what you're looking for. Why waste your time complaining, whining and trying to change and tie down someone whose attitude pisses you off?

When you were flirting and having sexual intercourse with her, she wasn't lazy abi or without ambition?

Na now your eyes clear?

Rubbish

merieam16:
Lik seriously..nd der introduction is just nextweek nd op is already on d forum 4 validations....smh some guys sha

she was always on pant and bra...no wonder OP's "Mandigbo" was always knocking at Jerusalem entrance

Her hormones at work keep calm.

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

My brother, you need to be arrested

Well well well

What do we have here?


Bro abeg teach me the hustle wey u teach ur babe na

Bro, never marry am. Make the pregnancy reach 4months to 6months..u go cry lol, after delivering u go see the main laziness....

When you bleeped a lazy gf and you also poured it inside, sebi it is love..... Love is blind, love is stupid.... Face it!