₦airaland Forum

Anybody that believes Edo is safe,might as well believe Bauchi is in North America.

lol I knew it was a ridiculous rumour, islam indeed.

kestolove95:
goldDigger

Easy lol ,how is she a gold digger,anyway,I prefer a white gold digger to a black one.

Ofeakwu:
K

Wonderful moniker

coogaluta:
Lol....calm down!
why are you getting so salty so easily?
Am I supposed to be scared?

Salty would be you mentioning me unreasonably or maybe you just please your self doing that.

coogaluta:
Your post definitely summarizes in one point: she hasn't been wifed cos she's not worth it, she should try harder! Not one tiny bit of you thought just maybe the guy doesn't know what he wants and/or when he wants it.

Again, I ask, where did I indicate she isn't wifey material. I opined she looked at her self thoroughly to be sure she's one, after all, she's clearly the one complaining not me nor the supposed boyfriend.

coogaluta:
Read your last paragraph again and tell me you haven't concluded this poor lady is not 'marriage-worthy', hence her 3 year delay.

it is you that opined so not me,but then again, In order not to argue with you(maybe you're right) I most certainly would agree.

coogaluta:
You're trying too hard to come across as blunt and scary but maybe if you do it in the right context, people will term it as 'constructive criticism'.

Thank God you noticed the bluntness in my post hence your own frustration,and I don't know how scary one can be perceived to be online, except of course you have unbelievable magical senses. what is the context ? Stating point like everyone else and getting constantly disturbed by you ? Ooh yea I see the "constructive criticism" in your post too.

coogaluta:
You had me believe for a nanosecond that you're the 'supposed boyfriend'

You can believe whatever you want dear, from your incessant mentioning of me one can also discern your concern as the person behind the op's moniker, perhaps I hit a nerve ?

coogaluta:
You keep parambulating........

Please caution your self ,I wouldn't sound like you now, it'd be messy for you and this thread.

coogaluta:
If this lady does not deserve to be wifed as you have put it,

Where did I put it that she doesn't deserve to be wifed ?

I stated she should ask her self if she's marriage material,please read again and this time with your reading glasses as well as someone to assist you in case,so you don't misquote me again.

coogaluta:
why has he spent 3 years of his life with her? Why not leave her and go for a woman that deserves it? KAPUT?

This sounds like a question for her and the supposed boyfriend and definitely not me.

coogaluta:
so, it's safe to assume that it's bad guys that waste time on girls, right?
If good guys don't waste time on foolish girls, I suppose they don't on wise girls either, it must be that the guys who waste time are bad guys?


Just tryna get your stand point straight here, no need to get all defensive, ok?

Madam, all this good guy good girl talk has nothing to do with this thread. All that is written here is desperation as far as I can discern.

3yrs is not the zenith of the numbers of years I have heard,and there is no one wasting anyone's time. If marriage is so important to the Op, I already suggested she proposes to the new guy she'd catch next or stay put ,be good and earn it from this one she has ,or should I have said she should kill her self ?

Its not only bad guys that can tell a desperate girl, good guys also have senses and they do what they feel works for them, what you should be asking the OP if you have her interest at heart is ,is she deserving of a proposal ? Or do you think anyone should just marry anyone regardless of love, moral background etc just because they shared time together ?

CSTR2:
She may be right though.
The most promiscous are usually the least impressive when it comes to the real show.

LoL I think I can relate with your point,biologically of course. lol

coogaluta:
why keep a lady for 3 years if she's not 'marriage material'?
Isn't that callous?

If you read my post very well you'd know I gave credence on "Good guys" not wanting to waste their time on foolish girls ,so if that was a question, I suggest you direct it to the right person not me,I am not the one in a futile relationship with her.

This is why a woman should accept a man for the right reason, if by 30yrs as you claim you are and have dated for 3yrs, you still don't know where you stand in and are headed to with your supposed spouse ,then you have failed as a woman, check your self well, you probably aren't marriage material,(that may be a cold sad truth,not my fault and not my business) and all of a sudden you realise your biological clock isn't wait-friendly. You now want a serious fantasised relationship with this said guy just because you want the big ol marriage"(something y'all pretend isn't necessary) regardless of whether you love him or not...

Ask your self, think, recollect how you both met, where you serious from the onset ? Was it something that you remotely thought could ignite the "tie the knot" gesture in the future ? All these are questions you need to ask your self and not deceive your self ,then you'll get your genuine answer,otherwise any move you make now only portrays your desperate self in magnified spectrum...

I know for a fact that no sane man would like to waste his precious time as well as a good girl's being in a relationship that would yield futility at the end,so except you wanna be a man,buy a ring and take to the next guy and do the big ol proposal yourself I suggest you shut it, put your self together, be a good girl and earn the "will you mary me" right from the man otherwise you become a yoruba girl because O.Y.O will be your state...

Thank You!

abi o, we are tired jare!

Hahhaha,@TV01, of course a man should always endeavour to maintain that calm ,cool and mature nature before his woman, but intricacies do occur na, you have agreed with me already.

Except you take exception that if such do happen then it is the man's fault ? I don't believe you are in anyway implying men are robots and as such shouldn't turn their hair on, no ?

I've seen men with the coolness of a fridge lose their cool and turn hot like a cooked porridge all because of their nagging unreasonably troublesome wife.

Omo, its epic!

My Woman/My Everything - Patoranking ft Wande coal

Stillfire:
I believe it is just too vague and dangerous to conclude that in conflict situations a woman is to surrender to the husband.

If you look closely dear, we still agree on same note ,because the couple both have in them the ability to reason, in a situation where the husband knows that the wife deserves to have that win ,of course he'd budge in...for peace to reign . Works both ways

stillfire:
Conflict takes many forms and I think Coogar has highlighted some of those conflicts such as domestic violence in christian marriages. And I will advise any woman to use her common sense. But apparently many women do not use their common sense because of this submission idea that they are to adhere strictly to their man's whims and caprices.

Conflict that brings jeopardy to their union , whereby it hammers on both party's ego. And the man isn't taking it easy. A situation beyond amends if one party doesn't give in to the other's authority, well, I guess the submission instinct should represent itself and I know it shouldn't be the man, that's why the divorce rate in the western world lingers. The women don't drop the chicken leg for their men..lol

stillfire:
Precious, Verse 7 tells you to submit also, lol.

Where is it in the said verse that the words read literally,that man should submit ?

It even exposes the female folk more ,alluding to their nature as weak and how we should take care of you people ,just like what we have been doing since Adam knew how to drink juice from Eve's cup

Except you want to figuratively phrase your own version, I believe that verse highlighted on love more.

TV01:
I don't agree here. A mature man - which is the pre-requisite for being a husband, not intelligence - will not let his family affairs be a matter of pride or ego. Funnily enough, when a woman is dragging authority with him, there are more likely to be times of conflict and power play.

Ooh Sorry mehn, but I'm only responsible for what I say not how you interpret it

That power struggle was just me painting a bad scenario in a situation where things get sour to the detriment of the marriage or what not. Because we can't deny the fact that these things do happen, it wasn't me indicating that the man should instigate such happenings just for a test of his woman's ability to submit. Nah

My post also didn't indicate that the pre-requisite to a successful marriage is intelligence based,nor any vain criteria, however, I do note that intelligence in it self is a number in the content of maturity.

Damn! Why do you women cringe with disgusts ,fear and annoyance by the mention of submissiveness ?

Men are not bad na lol, we love our women and we don't make it a slavery affair when our wives are to submit to us like TV01 opined, its complimentary and it is something that binds nd completes us as a couple with love and peace.

Bottom line is , when it comes to disagreement, pride,ego and power struggle, the woman ought to place hers down for her man.

His ego should come first. That is where the need to submit comes into play....

Stillfire:
Of course I do believe a woman should love her husband, but I threw in that argument to counter your logic, that if it's only the woman that should submit, then that woman is not required to love her husband. So do you agree or not agree that a wife should not love her husband because her duty is just to submit?
How can you be a Christian and when it comes to marriage, love does not take a precedence before anything? That totally goes against the tenets of Christianity.

Before i referred you to Ephesians, chapter 5 verses, 22- 24, I already saw 21

I agree, however, I am alluding to the situation whereby conflict arises, a woman should there fore bow/surrender and place that authority to her man.

Two heads can't make a body ,it'd be beastly. I mean, what kinda being would that be even in its appearance.

And again, I was speaking of precedence in marital settings, love Supersedes all , but marriage is a different union that requires teaching. That is why we have different bible pages/scriptures on the emphasis to submit.

Please go further and read 1 peter 3, 1-7" and tell me what you understand there.

Nicely said TV01, that is why my argument with coogar was centred on "Intelligence not being the whole and all" reason ascribed or the determinant for submisiveness because two people, being intellectually different or with the intelligence compatibility margin width of the pacific ocean can still relate, communicate, love each other and marry.

This doesn't in anyway take away the headship or autonomy ascribed to man over his woman(wife). Although I do agree that intelligence is one criterion amongst other criteria and hence the man requires sufficient mental power to lead his woman, the woman knowing this, even more intelligent than him ,has to accord him that right to assert authority over her(because she trusts him).

The primordial existence has in itself,intelligence but that isn't the sole force to acquire authority over one's woman(wife) ,God isn't stup!d, what is intelligence to God before wisdom, it doesn't take intelligence to know this,rather wisdom. My agreement with him on this was me being sarcastic hence mocking that premise, because if I agree with that, that would mean, some men have to submit to more intelligent women too.(Which defies the command of God).

There are no drawn lines to these things, intelligence is relative, the comparative ration between couples of different intellectual level could be low, and even if wide, It'll be her issues because the institution shouldn't shift ground on its stand.

I kinda also agree with coogar's line of argument too being that , that is why a woman should get married to a more intelligent man ,age difference or not ,but it still doesn't cut it in all entirety,if we can agree that when the difference is just a meagre margin in intellect between both spouses ,with the woman of course being more intelligent and the man having sufficient intelligence to lead.

Some times, people are allowed to make mistakes, leaders or not, we aren't all perfect and some learn from their flaws, in this case scenario of man and wife, it'd be the man's mistake, and corrective measures would be set in place.

troy20:
am also a christian bro.i see you making emphasis on it.i feel its very inappropriate making such discriminations.we have enough as it is.lets just share our opinions instead.

Emphasis ? How ? .... I don't think you've been reading the prior posts, if you have you would have seen where I'm coming from, opinion should be backed by a valid and reliable institution/school of thought. If your opinion is born out of nothing but just an individual perspective then it is null.

Besides she started with the whole bible quoting,and i just reciprocated. I maintain if this argument is not from a religious background then it is better not discussed.

troy20:
Scould you elaborate on what you mean by non believers?

I think it is self explanatory, non christians or should we say, people that don't believe in God or the teaching of christ...

Like the lady that initially asked where heaven is as though it doesn't exists.

Speaking from a religious point of view, doesn't this quote below defy it, or are we going to take the part of the scriptures that suits us and turn a blind eye to others ?

Stillfire:
Adult relationships do not require anyone to bow down to them. Your fellow human being is seen as an equal.
Takes maturity though to achieve this trait.

This is the same reason I initially said I don't argue with non believers ,which is why i ignored that first girl that quoted me ,even if it is quite clear she has the IQ of a puppa of a grass hopper by her lack of moral stand point ,she sarcastically made reference to my sisters and crack" in the bid to pass across a dud point that got her entangled in her own logic with the "1mbecile analogy of a woman marrying one ,and that she shouldn't submit to her man (because he is slow)...

She was the one that made reference with that example and still went on to stipulate that, intelligence should be the only determining factor. Now if someone is intelligent, shouldn't the person know that the intending spouse has enough intelligence to lead her(even though,she is more intelligent than spouse)and rule over her ?

Stillfire:
Hehehe,
Another argument, if submission is the requirement of the wife, that is to say a wife is not required to love her husband.

This logic will defy your initial stand on this argument, submissiveness is required, otherwise, the love will be incomplete and there would be issues....

You have to understand that even as christians with the mantra "love your neighbour as your self" it should actually be enough,but on a realistic background,it isn't ,because marriage as an institution is another world on its own and thus the teachings" of marital strength. That is why God said this and that.

We just have to obey for things to go smoothly

Stillfire:
Isn't it so funny that in the 21st verse it says Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ?
The two commandments are independent of each other. There are no bullet words (like if you should do this, you will get this) to assume causality i.e the relation between an event (the cause) and a second event (the effect), where the first event is understood to be responsible for the second. Instead we see only a metaphorical comparison to Christ for each party. On that we cannot use the rationale of what is written first arrive at a conclusion. It is akin to saying that to be able to steal you have to commit murder first because the ten commandment was written in that order.

However, if indeed you are a Christian you should easily be given to love, simple. Otherwise you are a fake Christian. It should come naturally. The bible even says love your wife, so that your prayers would be answered. So whether she submits or not, if you like don't love her, your prayers will not be answered.

LoL I expected that you'd say a thing of that 21st line. However, saying they are independent of each other isn't our line of argument here and you know it, but rather what simplifies or should I say facilitates his(the man) love to die for you(wife) is ignited by that submissiveness, meted on him by you.

This is not to say "Love one another" as christians doesn't have its value here( because as its expected of him,so as its expected of you too) , but it just simply means that the requirement to cast a solid marital background and union is powered by that order of command( should conflicts/discrepancy ensue )

You can't count two before one, one precedes two and hence makes things complete and balanced.

LoL the things we won't stop hearing

Stillfire:
Lol, confusion galore. The way we hamper on this submission thing you would think it's the only criteria for a successful marriage.

Actually,if missing, it can be the only criterion for disaster in marriage.

So submit to your man as to the lord, because he has authority over you.

Even from by your logic, you as a woman, shouldn't you love your husband regardless of his love for you ?

I'm just saying if we use your line of argument, it is safe to say that as a christian(man or woman), you should also endeavour to love.

So love and submit to your man, in order not to argue with you, I'd agree

Stillfire:
The law on love does not change in marriage either. Marriage is the perfect institution to carry out this true test of Christianity.
If you claim to be a Christian, showing love first would come easily to you with or without submission. Christ loved us first despite all of our shortcomings.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.


As per insult,
You just called someone dull, woolly headed? Abi am I seeing double?

LoL Madam, this is really ridiculous....

Why should we start a banter of irrelevance now. Am I on a wrong thread ,we are talking about "Submissiveness" on a marital point of view like I said before, I have given my stance on such. From all indication now it is clear you either don't agree with me or you chose to deliberately pretend you don't know what this thread is about.

Ooh we are quoting bible now ?

Who said Loving someone shouldn't come easy by a christian, by the virtue of marital bliss, Submission and love are talked about in Ephesians chapter 5,verses 22,23.....

If you know your bible well as you claim, you'd know Submission precedes Love in the context of this discuss.

As for the insults you say I made, I didn't mention anyone's name did I ?

Stillfire:
Mr Man, I hope you don't think I'm in support of you sha. Nothing comes before love as a christian. The foundation of Christianity is LOVE!

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

And there's no need to insult anybody here.

My point stems from your statement @bold, and we are talking from a marital point of view regarding submissiveness, so except you're the one missing the point not me, I am very well in line with what I opined, contrary to your opinion,you made a point for me lol

And I haven't insulted anyone here. Thank you.

cococandy:

Madam, I am not the one that dropped a sac of sh!t in your front to warrant you knitting your brows at me,

Got a better point than your facial expression to bring forth ?

Stillfire:
If the intuition bit peeves you like crazy, you really do not want to know how ranting about being a man without providing reasons why your way is better irritates my brains. And it is under the principle of submission such behaviors exist. Submission requires that he doesn't have to give you an explanation why his way is better afterall he is superior and you are to bow to it.

This is where the emphasis lie ,which coogar initially didn't want to understand,but rather excuse it with intelligence as the determining factor and some dull wolly headed woman seconded as the yardstick as if God whispered to her,that is the only reason ...

A man is accorded with precedence of the virtues of life before such can be returned back to the wife, submissiveness as a virtue comes before "Love" gratitude and what not.

coogar:
that is if we assume the wife chose carefully to marry an intelligent husband. if he's a dullard, she would not submit to him.

That wouldn't be the man's problem, it'd be hers