₦airaland Forum

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http://efiweblog.info/2013/04/how-to-get-5mb-daily-for-5-naira-on-mtn-mtn-plan.html

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I could have titled this piece “Top Hilarious Differences between British English and American English” because Nigerian English is, after all, a progeny of British English, with which it still shares many structural, grammatical, and lexical characteristics. However, as the examples below illustrate—and as I have pointed out in several of my writings—Nigerian English has significantly weaned itself from British English and has acquired some distinctive stylistic and lexical imprints that mark it out as a classifiable national variety.
In what follows, I identify the top humorous differences between the English spoken and written in Nigeria and in the United States.
1. “You’re so silly!” In Nigerian English—which is, of course, derived from Standard British English—this phrase is decidedly an insult. In British English “silly” is chiefly an adjective of disesteem. It usually denotes and connotes stupidity or foolishness. Nigerian English inherited this sense of the term.
Sometime in 2005 when I told my intercultural communication students at the University of Louisiana, Lafayette, about cultures in southern Nigeria where prospective brides go to “fattening rooms” for months to grow “flesh in the right places” so that they would be desirable to their husbands, they thought I was overstretching the bounds of the truth. One of them asked if I was “just being silly.”
Silly? My pride was violently wounded. However, I realized that nobody was shocked by the unwarranted “insult.” That warned me to restrain my emotions. It turned out that in American demotic speech, to be silly means to be willfully and affectionately funny or playful. So the student just wanted to know if I was merely kidding because she didn’t imagine that there were cultures anywhere in the world where “fat” people are not vilified.
An African-American professor friend of mine who teaches political science at the University of Ohio had a reverse experience in Ghana. While on a one-year sabbatical at the University of Ghana in Legon, a male professor almost physically assaulted her because she told him he was “so silly.” She, of course, meant that he was affectionately funny. “I never used ‘silly’ again for the rest of my stay there,” she told me.
I went to elementary school with children of white American Baptist missionaries who habitually called their parents “silly” and the parents would smile and even hug them. We used to be mortified. We thought Americans had no culture of respect for their parents.
To be sure, the notion of silliness as foolishness also exists in American English, but it co-habits with the denotation of lighthearted joviality. Americans can often tell the difference between the two meanings of the word through context and nonverbal cues. In American English “silly” is also used as a noun to describe misbehaving children, as in: “Don’t be a silly!” But when it is used as a noun in British English, usually as a form of address, it means a foolish person, as in: Come on, sillies!”
Interestingly, according to etymologists, when “silly” first appeared in the English language, it was written as “seely” and meant fortunate or happy. Isn’t it fortunate that the notions of “silly” as stupid and jovial still happily co-exist in American English?
2. “It’s a shame.” As an expression, “it’s a shame” simply means “it’s regrettable” or “it’s unfortunate.” In the US and the UK, the phrase is used both with a tone of approving empathy and of disapproval, but mostly the former. Examples: “It’s a shame your mother died when you needed her most”; “It’s a shame you missed getting a First Class degree by only a few points”; “It’s a shame students of English can’t write good English these days,” etc.
In Nigeria, the expression is exclusively disapproving. That’s because Nigerians isolate the meaning of the word “shame” from the expression and understand the entire phrase to mean disgrace, dishonor, or embarrassment. The preferred expression in Nigerian English (which is fortunately also present in all other varieties of English) to express approving regret is “it’s a pity.”
If you’re a Nigerian and you’re reading this, please don’t fight an American or a Briton who says, for instance, “It’s a shame that your country is associated with Internet scams.” The person could actually be saying that he thinks that Nigeria’s reputation as a nation of scammers is undeserved! In both British and American English, the idiom that unequivocally expresses the sense that one should feel embarrassed or ashamed over something is “for shame!” as in: “That’s a terrible thing to say to your parents. For shame!”
3. “You’re so homely.” An American woman I met recently told me she stopped communicating with her Nigerian online lover because he described her as “homely.” She said that was the rudest, meanest, unkindest, and most gratuitous verbal violence she had ever suffered in her life. In American English “homely” means “ugly.” But in Nigerian English it is used of a woman to mean she is warm, friendly, responsible, decent, and worthy of being kept as a wife. This meaning is derived from the (earlier) British sense of the word. The American lady was rueful after she learned that her friend was actually complimenting her.
4. “Are you mad or something?” This question got my undergraduate thesis adviser, the late Professor Mike Egbon, to break up with his first American girlfriend when he was in graduate school at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. The lady wanted to find out if he was angry (which is what “mad” means in American English), but in British (and Nigerian) English “mad” means insane, crazy. My professor understood his American girlfriend as calling him a mentally disturbed person. So he got REALLY “mad” and broke up with her! The lady was flummoxed. When she tried to explain what she meant, my professor said he rebuffed her. A few years later, he realized his error, by which time the woman had moved on.
Curiously, as Ipointed out in previous write-ups, the American usage of “mad” to mean “angry” is faithful to the original meaning of the term up until the late nineteenth century.
5. “Let me take my drugs.” In American English the default meaning of “drugs” is a substance used as a narcotic. In Nigerian English, however, it’s a synonym for medicine or, as Americans now prefer to say, medication. To be sure, both senses of the term exist in both varieties. That’s why, for instance, Nigeria’s anti-narcotic agency is called the Nigerian Drug Law Enforcement Agency and why Americans call chemists (or, if you will, pharmacies) “drugstores” and call pharmacists “druggists.”
Early this year, I read of a Nigerian traveler to America who was detained at the airport for hours because she told Custom and Immigration officers that the traditional African herbs she had in her checked-in luggage were “drugs” for her malaria. The “malaria” bit escaped the officers. They were unnerved by what they thought was her forthrightness. After putting the herbs through every imaginable crucible to determine what kind of “drugs” they were and finding that they tested negative, one of the officers had the good sense to pause and wonder if by “drugs” the Nigerian meant “medicines.” It was then they remembered the bit about “malaria” and thought it unlikely that anyone would treat malaria with narcotics. That was how she got her freedom from detention.
My daughter, whose linguistic idiosyncrasies have now become fully American, also recently jumped out of her chair when I said I was going to the pharmacy to buy drugs for her cold. She had just had a “drugs-free day” in her school where she learned about the deleterious consequences of drug use. So she protested, “Daddy, NO WAY will I take drugs for my cold! Drugs are bad!!” I smiled knowingly and told her I meant “medicines.”

6. “I’ll knock you up.” In British and Nigerian English this phrase literally means you’ll knock on somebody’s door. In American English, however, it’s a colloquial expression for “I will get you pregnant”! So don’t say you’ll “knock up” an American woman who isn’t your wife. You could end up in jail for attempted rape!
7. “Girlfriend.” In Nigerian English, “girlfriend” only means a woman with whom a man is romantically involved. But it means more than that in American English. It can also mean a woman’s female friend. The first time an American woman told me she would be meeting with her “girlfriend,” I thought she was an in-your-face lesbian. So I told her she didn’t need to be that direct. She then explained that she merely meant her female friend. I wonder why American men don’t also call their male friends their “boyfriends.”
American women also use “girlfriend” as a form of address when talking to women who are not necessarily their friends, as in: “look here, girlfriend!” I must mention that contemporary British English also uses “girlfriend” to mean a woman’s female friend. My daughter still says “Ewwww!” when her friends call her “girlfriend.”
8. “Offer a course.” In Nigerian English, students, not schools, “offer” courses. A Nigerian reader of my columns recently wrote to tell me that an American university admissions officer was bewildered when she told him she wanted to “offer a course in petroleum engineering”! I told her in America—and in Britain—students don’t offer courses; only schools do. To offer is to make available. Student can’t make courses available in schools; they can only take or enroll in courses that schools offer.
A slightly related but by no means humorous usage peculiarity is the tendency for Nigerian English speakers to “write” tests or exams where Americans “take” them, or for Nigerians to “run a course” where other English speakers are “enrolled in a course.” (I should point out that students in India, Pakistan, Ghana and other Commonwealth countries also “write,” not “take,” tests and exams, indicating that this usage has British origins or influence).
9. “You’re welcome” vs. “welcome.” In American English—and increasingly in British English—the expression “you’re welcome” functions only as a polite response to the expression of gratitude through the phrase “thank you.” In other words, Americans only say “you’re welcome” when someone says “thank you” to them. But Nigerian English speakers say “you’re welcome” where a simple “welcome” would do. An American friend of mine once told me how bemused she was when everyone in Lagos said “you’re welcome, madam” to her upon being introduced to them. “I didn’t say ‘thank you’ to anybody. Why were they saying ‘you’re welcome’ to me?” she recalled.
After the “you’re-welcome-madam” pleasantries became unbearably omnipresent, she quickly figured out that it’s the Nigerian English way of saying “welcome ma’am.” It should be noted that British grammarians initially sneered at the expression “you’re welcome” in response to “thank you.” They preferred the cold, curt, detached “don’t mention it” or “think nothing of it.” Now “you’re welcome” is in common use in British English.
10. “We are managing”/ “we are surviving.” As I wrote in a previous article, in Nigerian English, “managing” means struggling to make ends meet, i.e., not doing well. Example: "My brother, the country is hard. I am just managing.” In American and British English, however, to be managing is to be successful. So where Nigerians would say they are “managing,” Americans and Britons would say they are “just surviving.” In Nigerian English, however, to be surviving is to overcome, to be in control.
An American researcher by the name of Rachel Reynolds who wrote about the Nigerian immigrant experience in America for an academic journal was struck by this intriguing dissimilarity in our usage of these expressions. She interviewed Nigerian immigrants in the Chicago area in the course of her research. Even though her interviewees didn’t seem content with their material lot in America, they said they were “not surviving”; that they were “managing.” She was initially dumb-stricken. When she finally figured out that Nigerians use “managing” to mean “surviving” and “surviving” to mean “managing,” she titled her article: “‘We Are Not Surviving, We Are Managing’: the Constitution of a Nig...
11. “I will flash you.” This is my favorite Nigerianism. Every Nigerian knows “flashing” to mean a split-second call to another person’s phone with no intention to have a phone conversation. It’s usually a subtle way to say, “I have no units in my phone; please call me back” If the “flashing” takes place in the presence of the recipient, it usually implies: “that’s my number; store it.”
Although “flash” has a multiplicity of meanings in American English the first thing that comes to the minds of American—and British—speakers of English when you say you will “flash” them is that you will briefly expose your naked body or genitals to them in public! That was precisely what happened to a white American Baptist missionary friend of mine by the name of John Dunaway who was born in my hometown in the early 1950s and who, sadly, died last year.
When he visited Nigeria in 2008, a long-lost friend of his asked for his Nigerian phone number. After getting the number, the friend said, “hold on—let me flash you.” My friend said he ran for cover as fast as he could. “I didn’t want to see the naked body of an old man!” he recalled. He later learned from reading one of my articles in 2007 that in Nigeria “flashing” doesn’t mean indecent exposure. In fact, that sense of the word is completely non-existent in Nigerian English.
12: “I will ring you up.” This expression became a part of Nigerians’ demotic speech since the late 1990s when mobile phones became the single most important instruments of communication. When people don’t “flash you,” they “ring you up.” Of course, the expression came into Nigerian English by way of British English where it also means to make a telephone call to somebody. However, in American English, “ring (you) up” has a completely different meaning. It means to check out purchased items on a cash register.
When you buy things in American stores, the cashiers “ring up” what you buy and tell you how much you need to pay for your purchases. In my first few months here, I recall telling an American friend of mine that I would "ring him up.” His response threw me off balance. “When did you become a cashier? In what shop do you work?” he asked.
13. “I passed out.” Nigerians “pass out” from secondary schools. The British only “pass out” from military colleges, not secondary schools. In both senses of the term, nonetheless, “pass out” is used to mean “graduate” from some kind of school. But when Americans “pass out” they always need to be resuscitated by a doctor. As you’ve probably guessed (if you didn’t already know, that is), the only meaning of “pass out” known to American English is to “faint.” This sense of the term is completely absent in Nigerian English, but it’s present in British English.

Source:http:///forum/topics/the-top-hilarious-differences-between-american-and-nigerian-engli

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When it comes to making money online, there are lots of businesses that you can engage in, it depends on you to choose the right business based on so many factors, i have listed some of the online business you can do here, so check them out while i take you through the process required in starting an online business.
What is An Online Business?
But do you really know what a Business is? A business is an organized approach to providing a product or service to satisfy the need of others. And I will also define an online business as the approach to providing a product or service to satisfy the problems of other people ONLINE. You look for people with a particular problem, then look for a product or service to satisfy there need.
So in a nutshell, a business consist of PEOPLE, PRODUCT And PROMOTE
People: These are those who have a problem and require a solution to it. For example, lets say you a website developer just like I am and some needs a website, then that’s a problem that needs a solution.
Product OR Service: Yea, that’s the solution to the problem Of “PEOPLE”, it can either be in form of an ebook or any e product, or a service that you will render to them online
Promote: After finding those with a problem that you have a solution to, then you promote your product or services to them. The main purpose of promoting is to tell them why they should buy from you or why they should order from you and not from any other person
Firstly when you want to start a business try to look for something you have passion for, because when you have passion for something it makes you bring out the best from it. Let’s take someone that loves fashion for example he or she would be good at the boutique business because he would know the combinations he can display that will attract customers. Its your passion that will lead into a niche.
A niche as most marketer will define is an area of market specializing in one type of business or product
After identifying what you have passion for all you need to do is to have a market research or feasibility study as some people would call it. Here I strongly believe that a serious business minded individual should have a problem because I believe that no matter how insignificant or new it might be you have people who have done something similar to what you are about doing!! I call them your competitors.
Contact them and ask them how they started that particular business and how you can also get started, most of them will be willing to help!! But remember that they are your competitors, you need to discover there flaws and mistakes so as to out smart them and these will make you stand out of the crowd.
In any business you go into, there is a probability that you will fail, your failure will only make you know what works and what doesn’t work and with that you can learn form your mistakes and that will make unique. Don’t under estimate yourself or compare your self or your business with others,, its our differences that make us unique and beautiful. Lets me recap all I have said:
You discover your passion for a product Or Service
You contact those who have establish such business or niche already
You discover the mistakes Your competitors are making and Out smart them

A mistake in any of the three above will result into a failure of your business either an online business or offline business.

In my future posts, I will give you more insight on how to chose a niche, how to choose a product to product and finally, how to Promote it, so make sure you subscribe to my post so as to be alerted as soon as these great posts are made.

Now over to You: Have you ever done any business before be it online or offline, if yes, what are the problems you encountered and if no, what’s keeping you waiting from starting a business??


Source: http://onlinemoneydon.com/how-to-start-an-online-business/
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What is Google Adsense?
On several occasions, I have met lots of people who want to wants to make money online, but one usual question most of them ask me is What is Adsense, I was once in their shoe because I remember vividly that I started my first blog just because I want to make money online from Adsense , but it was lateron that i learn about about Affiliate Marketing!!!
What Is Adsense? Adsense is a contextual ads program which is owned by the search engine>>>>>> read more about adsense here http://onlinemoneydon.com/what-is-google-adsense/

Most people have a facebook account, but only a few know that it is possible to make money online with facebook, but in this post, i will be taking you through some of the processes of making money online from facebook.
As i have always said and will always say, to make money online, you must have a product that you are selling or a SERVICE THAT YOU ARE OFFERING, so i believe you have one of the two because if you dont there is no way of making money online, if you are stuck and dont know how money is being made Online,then pls see my post here for that.
So to make money online, you should have a product you are promoting, be it your own product or that which you are promoting as a affiliate, and if you dont have a product that you should have a service.
Since facebook is a place to meet and connect with lots of people from all works of life, this makes it easier for you to look for people with a particular problem and then solve there problem with your good or service that you are offering.
Lets assume, you are selling an ebook on how to Get student Loans, there are thousands of students on facebook with which you can connect with and then introduce your book to them.
Alternatively, if you are a web developer, there are lots of facebookers who needs website but they dont know how to get it, with your facebook account, you can connect with such people and sell your service to them.
One easy way with which facebook allows you to make money online from it is that, they allow each user to fill in there favorites’, there hobbies and the likes. So if you are selling an ebook on how to increase your Basketball skills, mere looking at a facebook profile, you can tell if basketball is one of his hobbies, and if it is, then he or she becomes a potential customer who can buy or order for your service.
But dont you think it will be an hard task to start checking from one profile to another , all in a bid to know your potential customers? yes, it is . But through the following ways, you can easily detect and capture your customers, read more here http://onlinemoneydon.com/make-money-with-facebook/

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When it comes to making money online, the possibilities are endless. I can still remember vividly, that the first time I was introduced into making money online, I was told I wouldn’t need any investment to get started, I was surprised and excited but at the same I was thinking deep inside within me that its impossible to make money online without investment.

My doubt arose as a result of what I was taught in Economics, a subject I love while in school. My economics teacher do reiterate the fact you use money to make money
make Money

make Money

and I believed him because to me you can start any business both offline and online without putting in any investment.

So as time goes on, in my quest to make money online, I discover that, investment is not limited to Only Money, it might be Time .

Going back to our main subject “ How to make money online without investment” is that really possible.

To most people, investment is all about Money, but to me, I believe investment should also be

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