₦airaland Forum

BankyGee:
Bro, ayaff said (typed actually ) this thing many times... No two answers. Just type the one you're sure of.
We go fight o

Just fight him now

OhiOfIhima:
Hi Darling Ami..
wesicall ami seve keh

I might have been busy at work. Asuku'ayi

OhiOfIhima:
See dem face like Obovu masquerade

Cc: PrincessB1

seka yiwu?

dedons:
Do you want your payment in cash or kind

Cash please

Nawa oh

What is all this

frozen70:
Thanks for the correction, typo error

You're welcome

Oh no

dannybrasky:
Thanks alot

You're welcome

Rape again


Just cut it off

LeoFish92:
I love people like you. Playful and jovial. See the way you are just sharing seats and popcorn with happiness.. You brought a warm smile to my soul

Awwwn
I'm glad I did

The thread is captivating aswel

molybdenum0012:
Let me share another funny experience. This happened shortly after Sanwo-olu of Lagos won the gubernatorial election.

I was at home relaxing around 4pm on a certain Tuesday. Then a call came in, it was my cousin who is into politics.


He called me and asked me to hurriedly go to Ikeja GRA and meet someone there for a job. Like a fool I did not even bother to ask the kind of job it would be. In my mind, I felt it must be a gevernment job since Sanwo-olu just won the election and my cousin, being One of his campaign members, I felt he must get a slot for me in the ministry. How wrong!

Without delay, I neatly packed my CV and first and second degree certificates into my bag and set for the journey.

I got to the place around 6:30pm. I saw crowd of people celebrating Sanwon-Olu's win. I put a call through to the man I was to see and he directed me to wait for at the reception.
At the reception, I met about 4 guys, neatly dressed. I later knew we were waiting for the same person.

The man addressed us around 7:30, telling us we should come back the follwing morning around 6:30am, that the chairman that would address us was still celebrating. Well, I did not mind to come back the following day I felt it would be a good job.


The following morning I had woken up so early that I left home around 5:30am to beat the traffic. I got to the venue exactly 6:00am. I was the first person to get there. I was so well dressed that some of the security guy there thought I came from the governor's office. They even gave me a chair to sit.


Later the man in charge of the recruitment walked in. Then I started seeing some area boys/thugs, some did not wear clothes, some were smoking weeds. I began to wonder why they were there. I could not come to the term that they came for the same job I was there for.

Later, a man brought out a full scalp sheet for us to write our name and phone no. Before I knew what was happening the whole place was full with area boys. They too was there writing their name. Some of them could not write their name properly 'cos there are not educated. After written mine, I waited patiently for us to be addressed about the job description.


Meanwhile, I had earlier called my younger brother to join me there 'cos I thought we would be employed based on our educational qualification. Not long, my brother walked in and became angry seeing the caliber of people around there. Immidialtelt he left, saying it could not be a good job.


I remained there, I just wanted to be sure it was actually not what I thought. I could not believe my own cousin would ask me to come work with such caliber of people.

Later, we were asked to gather to be address about the job description. My brother I could not strand amount those guys. Some of them were smelling, with skin rashes all over their body, I had to stay somewhere far and listen to the man speak. Right there we were told we would be removing campaign posters from the street of Lagos and would work alongside LASA. Meanwhile the pay for the job was not mentioned. The man said it is between Sanwo-olu and God.. lol. I look myself from head to toes, I just pity my life.

Later we were given two white polos and a cap. I felt so disappointed and had to come back home without follwing them to LASA office that very day. The polos and cap they gave me, I just gave it out to someone at home.

It was really a horrible experience for me. I wasted more than 2k for transport and exhausted my energy.

Damn! See stress.

Your youngy was so smart

dannybrasky:
After my ordeal with egbon Mufu,a friend of mine who's uncle is a former sss turned CEO of a security company told my friend to come work as a security under his company pending when he would get a better job.
Told my padi I was interested,he spoke to his uncle,after so much begging uncle agreed.

But first we were told we would undergo 3 weeks drill/training b4 being confirmed as security operatives with the company. I kept asking my padi,how much is our salary? He asked his uncle,uncle kept telling us not to worry,said we should undergo the training first,then we can talk about pay later,and we would be well paid

Trusting his uncle,we joined some few recruits numbering about 40 of us to one abandoned warehouse in ijesa b4 cele bustop. No light,no food,nothing, we were to feed ourselves through out our 3 weeks drill. Every morning there is this taekwondo master that comes to drill us on self defense and stuff. This man showed me shege,enduring some harsh conditions with this taekwondo master tying my hands to my feet with rope while sitting on the floor because I wasn't flexible enough,he would then start hitting my lower back with a plank as well as pressing me down saying my head must touch my knee at all cost Yet I endured cos I trusted my friends uncle would give us a robust salary,omo boy was just looking at the bigger picture (FAT PAYCHECK)

After almost 2weeks in the camp,mosquitoes chop nonsense commot for my ear,I drink gaari so tee my jaw begin they swell I kept working up my padi,asking omo you don ask your uncle about our salary? He replied saying his uncle is coming today,said they would even give us supervisor position,my heart jumped for joy,with my hands up high singing HALLELUJAH in my heart that finally I have beaten my village people to it. (The poverty in me was rejoicing )

Finally uncle showed up at the camp,every one was greeting him yes sir yes sir including me,but my paddi wanted to show everyone say em no be der mate went to meet his uncle,they shook hands and he was complaining loudly about mosquitos and no light,even me follow go meet them to show others say I know bros well well.

Conclusion!! They walked away leaving me behind and they kept talking. Long story short,padi came back with a long face,I asked him how far? He said monthly salary is 5k,supervisor 7.5k, My jaw dropped,and immediately my mind went to the taekwondo masters torture and all the early morning reluctant jogging join with other suffering. I wish I could see the taekwondo master and just shift his jaw with one blow. (Wèrè)

The next thing I begin pack my shuttle bag,my guy asked me wetin happen? I replied just dey watch me. Immediately he started packing his own bags as well. The remaining recruits for camp were asking wetin happen? Like say na deaf man,omo boy just lock up. Got to the gate of the warehouse,security said on oga's order no one is allowed to leave the camp. When the guy see as my eye red like songo own,I flung the gate open stepped out,i was waiting for him to just touch me so I can unleash all my frustration on his,em no even dare touch me,na so I match out for camp


My friend later got Visa to Europe few months later,I left lagos few weeks after the camp wahala and got a very good job in just a month.

Your narration is captivating and exhilarating.

Laugh still wan kill me for this one
Your battle with mosquitoes no get part two

damtan:
Honestly this thread is capable of healing depression and restoring hope. I've laughed and laughed and still laughing

that's true

frozen70:
You would have made use of

"a bed in hand worths two".

A bird rather.
A bird in the hand, is worth two in the bush.

peteruuu:
no. Thanks.
I wanto goan buy popcorn.

Lemme help you.
Enjoy

czarina:
True, I was wondering whether your chair no dey finish

L L

So you are the babe.
I don catch you

dedons:
Abeg you no get VIP seat?

I get o, but that one no be for free

abkrgumel:
Madam add one na I come with mah right side chick

Abeg make una manage am together.
You can even lap her cos e no plenty again

pu7pl3:
That's how they keep laughing while I still hold the title....I've heard this tape several times honey

Okay
Mister title

BankyGee:
I'm trying to place the way the laugh will sound - Very Arabic-ish (جطجطجط ) haha haha

L L

Funny you

Interesting

dannybrasky:
Back then in Bariga after secondary school,did waec and was waiting for result . As a born hustler,I would do any legit job to make sure I have my own little cash at hand. Name it, any hard job,omo boy was always ready lol.

I tried hard but couldn't get something to do until a friend of mine asked if I would work as a sand lifter with basket from the lagoon at bariga. Mehn I was do danm happy like yaay I have finally gotten myself a gig lol,but guys I was wrong as what I saw wasn't what I expected

Got to the lagoon down down after king sunny Ade's house,can't remember the name of the street. From the lagoon you can clearly see third mainland bridge.

Oh b4 I forget,being overwhelmed with happiness I didn't bother asking what the pay was like. Fast forward got to the lagoon,saw some giant well chiseled bros them, going into the lagoon with basket to park sand and then bring it to the shores of the lagoon. As a strong omo boy I was still like no shaking I go chop this job for breakfast easy pizzy lol.

Then came the shocker, there was this bros that was suppose to direct me on how to go about it,his name is Egbon Mufu. I asked some of the guys at the shore pls I'm asking for egbon Mufu,and then one pointed me at a direction and said there he is. Egbon Mufu was just coming out of the water with heavy basket of sand looking huge and well chiseled like a Greek god. I watched the way he struggled a bit to find his way to
shore in order for him to dump the sand he got from the lagoon.

He dumped the sand, stood there and was breathing heavily. And then one of the guys called him to inform him I was looking for him. NOTE, egbon Mufu was backing us when he was called upon,reacting to the call egbon couldn't turn his neck he had to turn his whole body cos his neck has already gotten stiff due to the pressure from the heavy basket of sand he carried couple with latic acid burning. In my mind I was like wtf,na so I won take die? Na so my neck go come break We concluded on how I would go about the job,he told me to pull of my clothes as I have to work with boxers alone lol. Me wey be say as soon as I saw the neck issue I already made up my mind to salo lol. Na so I tell am say I no wear pant say make I go buy boxers to wear He then replied saying eat b4 u come back o,I say no wahala egbon. If I'm to ever see egbon Mufu again that would be today I jejely went back home to hug my bed Too young to die

Laugh wan kill me o

BankyGee:
Swahili ke??

Of cos

Why are you surprised?

abkrgumel:
Oya bring it to me now now b4 I coz trouble

I don give you already naa

Abi you get four pairs of bumbum?

princeade86:
pls get me one also with popcorn. laugh wan burst my belle

Okay

Enjoy

abkrgumel:
Na my place o

Nooo
Lemme give you your own

peteruuu:
me too abeg

Hope I'm not too late?

You're welcome

pu7pl3:
pained by what Or are the mind games now affecting you?

Hehehe
I laugh in swahili

tbabs10166:
I need one chair pls

Okay

You're welcome

pu7pl3:
looks like I just got another victim.....

Looks like someone is pained

daddytime:
God go bless you for me my dear...

Your boyfriend or husband no go suffer waist pain when you ask am how far...

Na twins shaperly

You are funny

Thank you