₦airaland Forum

Arielle:
This half-a.rsed twit is one of the reasons why a lot of people have left this forum. No one disputes the importance of a father in the children's lives. God took mine away and left me to raise my children myself. For this clown to come here and make sweeping statements like this, rubbishing the efforts of single mothers, struggling to be mother and father to their children, pay bills and make sound decisions by herself, is extremely low. I know a lot of children of single mothers who are upstanding and responsible members of society. They've been raised to higher standards and greater expectations because they had no dads. Conversely, some of the worst, most indulgent children and adults I know were raised in 2 parent homes. To come here and make such assertions shows how poorly you have been raised, by both father and mother. You're a poor example of a 2 parent home. Run away.

you insult because you're pained.

That's understandable

The statistics is that if I give a child to a single father and another one to a single mother, the chances that the child will turn out bad is higher for the single mother than the father.

This increases up to 72% compared to when a child is raised by both parents.

Maybe yours will turn out fine. Maybe not. No one knows.

But the statistics is there. And you can't wish it away no matter how much you insult me.

Take care of your kids and yourself please.

And no, people don't leave because of me. People leave because people like you will rather insult people who create important info.

If you're half as wise as you think, as a single mother raising kids, you now know that their chances of turning out bad is high.

What should you do differently should be the next line of thought. But then again, you will rather insult

DeepSight:
Also consider the socio-economic (i.e: money) factor.
What is often at play in most single mother homes is a matter of lack of resources and not necessarily questionable parenting.

you're contradicting yourself.

No one talked about the reason why. I just stated a fact that single mothers tend to raise worse kids.

That's the primary fact. Even with resources, they will still turn out less compared to two parents with the same amount of resources

OGHENAOGIE:
statistics by who?? You were prejudicial and discriminatory... From the film wanting a father figure for her kids Made one the man made away with her fortune and you still judge single mothers.. how about you judge irresponsible men who just walk into women life and leave their heart in tatters... Stats don't reveal it all.. it can be deceitful

I think you're as much judgemental as I am with this your post. No?

CHoccolaTE:
Start a thread then advicing men to stick behind and help raise their kids regardless of whether they are married to the mom or not.


The men who fathered kids from the single moms willfully and selfishly chose to abandon parenting of those kids to the mom just because they are not married to the women.

I should start a thread and advise men to do what?

Did they tie your hands? Bro, I post anything I want to post, and anytime I want to.

And I believe you can too. Have I ever told you what to post? So, who are you exactly to tell me what to post or the direction to go?

Secondly, it's statistics. Kids raised by single mothers tends to be bad.

You can blame the fathers for leaving or the mother for not raising them well.

But it does not change the fact from statistics.

CHoccolaTE:
Post statistics for Nigeria and stop writing nonsense.

you won't even understand it if I do

naturefellow:
did you study literature in school?

Is this same way you would generalize other genres of art?

With literary appreciation, there's lesson to learn from everything, especially movies, as entertaining as they may appear.

ignore the guy. He wan form posh

CHoccolaTE:
I am just glad that sensible men also came and posted meaningful replies to this dumb woman hating thread.
At least there is hope that some men have working conscience.

Unlike the OP and other animals that choose to demonize single mothers who actually stayed behind to raise their kids instead of running away and abandoning them like their worthless dads.

The fact that a woman is not married to a man does not excuse the man from being present in their child or childrens lives, they can stay and help raise their kid and mentor him/her even if they are not married to the mom, but many men are irresponsible lazy pieces of shit that don't care whatever happens to their own offspring just because they are not married to the mom.

I am sure the idiot men supporting Op are aware of this but as usual you men will always blame women for everything including mistakes you make and problems you caused.

in your self justifying rants you failed to understand simple logic.

No one is demonizing women.

We are saying a child needs both parents. If the father left, the child will most likely turn out bad.

It's a fact. No matter how much you love women or want to praise them, it won't change this fact.

The question is, will you do better as a man?

Probably not. Because like most people you'd rather sweep facts under the carpet when presented to you.

Like you are doing now under this pretense of being a good guy

CHoccolaTE:
Where is the statistics for Nigeria?

What's our business with USA or whatever country you pulled this bullshit statistics from?

like I said earlier, it shows how little you understand these things

praisecity:
Also, statistics shows that male children raised by single mothers tends to be the "bad eggs" in the society.

not every statistics are correct in some areas, me and my brother were raised by a single and disciplinarian mother, and were are doing very good. and my dad is very much alive up till now,

I hate when we talk about statistics and people just point at themselves and say "but I'm different"

It shows really how little you understand something.

72 percent of rapists were raised by single mothers.

It doesn't mean all children raised by single mothers are going to be rapist.

If you are not a rapist, you merely fall into the percentage that's not captured which in this case is 28 percent.

Let me put it this way again. If I randomly select 10 children raised by single mothers, 7 out of them will probably be a criminal. While the other 3 are not.

That's how statistic work. It's not about you.

OGHENAOGIE:
according to u na... The op made a ridiculous take in trying to judge the character Jedidiah who was a single mum.. very prejudicial take

I didn't judge her.

I simply correlate her life with real life statistics.

If that's judgemental, then I'd say you're a lost cause

Biglittlelois:
So Obama had daddy issues?

Jeff Bezos had daddy issues?

Again some of una no just the understand.

Between your father and Jeff bezos, who has more money?

Obviously, it's Jeff.

This doesn't mean that your father doesn't have any money. He has money just not up to the level of Jeff bezos.

A single mother can raise a good child but if you compare their tendency to raise a bad child, it's higher than that of both parents.

This doesn't mean the child of single parents will always be bad. But the chances that they will be bad is higher.

Give 100 children to 100 single parents. Give another 100 children to another 100 both parents.

Out of that 100 children, single mothers will raise 30 good ones while the rest are bad.

The 100 both parents will raise 70 good children while 30 will be bad.

Now compare 70 good vs 30 good. Which is higher?

This is what we are saying.

Some of una really just get certificates with no reasoning at all

rollywise:
That's d angle you view it from. Me, I saw it from the angle of a mother's love for her children. The way she was always shouting and screaming and running upandan when they enter trouble and making sure they don't enter another trouble, I knew she would soon fall sick. I remembered the suffering my mom went through for us not necessarily because there was no father. Her four sons were for one man but he was polygamous and absent. Never judge from afar my brother!

yeah.

That's the problem. A mother's love is supposed to cuddle you. Protect you from the consequences of your actions.

But it always backfires when a father's disciplinary love is not in the picture.

She could only protect the children so far. In the end, they are bound to get more and more evil because they simply don't understand that actions have consequences.

You actually think because they stole the money, they won't fight again?

Ashley86400:
Leave OP na, make dem dey talk.
What about fathers that died or were just never there?

There is NO one way to raise a child.
Two perfect parents have raised future criminals/ Pychopaths/Wife beaters/ Prostitutes e.t.c
Same as single parents.
Just train your child, be a voice of reason to him or her and hope for the best- in the end it’s in your child’s hands how useful he/she will be in the society.

@ DeepSight

Two parents have raise criminals. We are all aware of that.

What we are saying is the single mothers raise "more" criminals.

Like what's so hard to understand here?

Everybody get money but Bill Gate get money pass everybody.

Two parents can raise criminals but single mothers tends to raise more criminals.

Omo, olodo full this country sha

surgical:
Obama was raised by a single mother

if I say the chances that a Nigerian guy is a scammer is high, it doesn't mean all Nigerian men are scammers.

It doesn't mean all of them will be criminals. Take a seat please

DeepSight:
Read again the first seventeen words in my sentence which you responded to.

I don't know why reading is a problem for this generation.

I don't need to read it again.

You said rubbish again just as I predicted.

Scholace:
The inmates in all our correctional centres are they all raised by single mothers?

The level of cyber fraudsters amongst our youths and prostitution, are they also raised by single mothers?

The rapist, ritualist, kidnappers, pedophile, bandits etc are they all raised by single mothers?

I can always go on and on

and you think you're making sense?

Tendency to be bad doesn't mean it'll always be bad.

If a single mother and father raises a child differently, the chances that one of the child will become a criminal is higher on the mother's child.

It doesn't mean that it'll always happen

DeepSight:
It is true that a father figure is very instrumental in the proper raising of a man, but bro, dont get it twisted - many single mothers have raised great men throughout history.

some of you don't have simple comprehensive sense.

Children from single mothers tend to be the bad eggs.

It didn't say children from single mothers will always be bad eggs.

If you raised a child alone as a mother, the chances that that boy will become a criminal or a drug addict is very high compared to when that boy is raised by the father.

This doesn't mean that the boy will always turn out to be fine.

Why I dey even explain self when you go talk another rubbish again? Mtcheeeeew

Karleb:
Movies are for entertainment not lessons.

everything is a lesson if you choose to see it.

The movie was cool. A Nollywood movie I actually enjoyed in a long while.

At the same time, I think it reflects on a very key aspect of life that most people never give much thoughts to.

That is, a male child will always need their father.

Regardless of how much a woman will love the male child, they will always need their father to be good influences in the society.

She gave birth to five children and all their fathers were absent. It's a lesson for women. Once you spoil your life, men will continue to chop and go.

No man will ever want to settle and train another man's child.

It doesn't matter how much you try to manipulate them with the "it's a mistake" or "a real man ought to take care of another man's child"

It won't work. They will just chop you and go and probably add their own seeds since you want to be unfortunate that way.

Also, statistics shows that male children raised by single mothers tends to be the "bad eggs" in the society.

And we all saw that in the movie. Not even one of the children turned out fine for the society. Instead, they were filled with that selfish love that put only their needs into consideration and never the needs of others.

And that's the kind of love women can give their children. Only a father's disciplinary love tells the child that other's needs are important.

It is the father that seeks to make sure the male child, no matter how strong he is, he never used that strength for his own benefits alone.

If she had thought the children to protect others and not just herself, they probably would have turned out fine.

Overall, I think the movie was entertaining but the lessons were still there except you choose to ignore it.

lawrenzooo:
My Dad's friend who is Canadian wanted to take me to Canada after secondary school for studies after asking if I would be interested and I answered in the affirmative.

All of a sudden the man went mute, after about 3 months I asked the man and he said my parent didn't consent, when i eventually asked my parent i realized it was my dad that refused, its been 18 years now and our relationship never remained the same.

Whatever decision you make put the child's interest first.

@bold this is what we are saying. Op is just being selfish considering only her interest.

flexyrule:
Sure she did.

You that your mother made hard, can you afford common GARRI?

Hardman hardman... Shi shi, you no get!

You wan con advise people wey get Job and family.

Jewman

I'd rather drink garri than never knowing my father

flexyrule:
The topic was meant for people who have a family, can provide for their family, and have experience.

You that is still battling with Garri and hunger, your judgment would definitely be seimental.

People like you have no business whatsoever with topics like these.

lolz.

Someone is triggered. Be like your mother really made you soft

flexyrule:
Ordinarily, as a man. I'm supposed to support your husband.

But I grew up with my mum, under similar circumstance, and I'll gladly advise you to keep your boy!

My mum wasn't doing too well, but she was able to afford us top-notch parental love, a decent eduction, clothes, food, and a roof over our head.

Everyone advised her to send us to our dad who was doing pretty well.

At the end, I'm glad I grew up under the care of my mum.

Till date, when I look back at my childhood, we might not have had a luxurious life, but the love she gave us was instrumental to everything that we've become today.

Dont let anyone confuse you. All that glitter isn't gold.

Mtcheeeeew. You never saw the other side.

You're really not in position to use your situation to judge.

@op you're not paranoid. Just being selfish.

You're not considering your child or your former husband's needs.

Just your own needs.

He wants to take my child away. He wants to fill his head against me. He wants to do this or that against me.

It's all about your selfish reason. I don't even know if you actually care about the boy other than using him as a weapon at this point.

Please your husband is also a father of the child. He holds equal right over that child as you. And probably loves that boy more than you.

So technically it's not your child but both of yours.

Secondly, he was bold enough to leave the child with you to travel out. Love no be to cuddle somebody up all the time.

Love is also about finding the best opportunity for the one you love

Please put your selfish needs aside for once and actually think about your boy and his father's needs. Especially your Boy's needs for godsake

Try having only garri for two weeks straight.

Hunger is terrible.

I started with drinking garri in the morning afternoon and night with no sugar o.

Later in the week I started adding salt just so I could feel something.

A week later, I started mixing the raw garri with palm oil and salt. I'll eat it like that and drink water.

Those two weeks was hell for me. Plus I no still come get money barb my hair. Naso I come lean with pimples, overgrown beards and hair.

Mehn, I just look like mad person or person wey dey do drugs. I dey shame to step outside my room. Na for night I dey go baff o.

Hmm.

You no go understand. Honestly. This year eh, I'll do my best o to end this brokenness.

Na only una know wetin una dey find for big nyash

Na wa.

Dialpad:
I condemn rape or any form of sexual abuse in its totality, I keep wondering why lagos state give these men life sentences.

10 to 15 years depending on the severity should be ideal.

While I agree that some of them may be irredeemable, second chances should be considered especially if they are first time offender.

Just my own opinion

same thing I always say.

Rape is bad. Very bad.

But it's not equivalent to life.