₦airaland Forum

Rubbiish:
Sorry i misconstrued your post & I believe many people also did. I thought your wife just gave birth, which means the kids are grown already. 2yrs + old. Now I understand, the money is too small, that is what is causing all these problems. I will suggest your wife also find something to do to assist, while u hope for the best.

No problem bro we don't want anymore kids 3 is already enough if she ever fall pregnant I will hang myself, my plan was to start up a business for her but since there is no capital I have asked her to go and work even if it's teaching job she said the salary is poor and she want her own business. I don't know why she is still want me to suffer when she is not handicapped and can also work while my mum watch the kids

Rubbiish:
That is what I am saying.
U already have a 2 year old child right?
Or it is your marriage that is 2 years?

My triplets are 2 years and 3 months

Rubbiish:
@bold no one is asking u to go & steal, but u people should also try to help yourselves & the society! U should have stopped at the first kid for now till u increase your earning capacity considering the fact that your wife is not working! 55k is too small to run a family like yours, there is sure going to be problem. That is what is happening now. I wouldn't blame your wife because the money is small. But after the first child, u people should have made financial plans before adding more kids. If i may ask, is your child school fees, clothings, health care & other things inside the 40k u are giving to your wife or it is just for feeding?

They are triplets

odinson1:
Men una mumu sha

When we keep telling you People not to get married, you'll call us broke,immature frustrated and all other sorts of nonsense.

You got married to Parasite who's Sucking you dry, draining the very life force you have. If you don't cut off that leech,she will drain you till you become a shell of your former self.

But seriously guys, lets reason it this way. The money he has been giving to his wife all these while,if he didn't get married and have children now,he would probably have used it to open a business,have investments or Get a new house or something like that. Now a woman has tied him down and It's now stopping him from progressing.

All he cares about are his wife and his children,they are all Liabilities to him. This is why men are advised to have a good job and a nice comfortable apartment first before getting married. You know why? It is because you will most likely get married to A Parasite who will Make you stagnant,it would be almost impossible for you to get past this financial struggle except you get a better job with better pay.

Men! Run away from a marriage that will stop you from Achieving greatness. Having children is not an achievement,it is normally biological for one to procreate,so there is no big deal about it. Having a wife and children when you are not financially stable,will only drag you down and make you stagnant!

And also, DON'T EVER GET MARRIED TO A BROKE LAZY WOMAN! They are Parasites whose only Objective is to latch on to you, and suck out your energy,time,resources and peace of mind.




@the bolded,A good woman? Really?

She and her children eats 3 square meals, while his mother only eats once. You call that a good woman? Wait answer this instead,would she have done same to her own Mother?

I married her against my wish her mother forced me to marry her because of the pregnancy. I blamed myself sha maybe if I have had use condoms I wouldn't have been in this miserable marriage.

Stenewiser:
oga I don't understand you, am not saying it's wrong to give your mother money, but are you her only child, and also the family house you moved out from, why is your mother not staying there, was she not legally married, and lastly how do you expect your wife to manage 40k to feed six people.

We are 2 in number me and my younger sis she is a house help, the family house Is my father's family house my father is late and his siblings kicked her out. That is all I have for now and I won't go and steal

I am married with three kids 2 years and 3 months triplets, my salary is 55k. I used to give my wife 20k, mother 10k, 5k for rainy days and 20k for myself transportation and other expenses outside my house.

My wife complained that the money was not enough I added 5k making it 25k monthly but she still demanding for more money and she has threatened to leave if I don't give her more.

I had no money to give her, my own mother was homeless staying in church and I couldn't stop giving her that 10k because she needed it. My wife used to fight me every single day and my uncle asked us to leave the family house as we were disturbing their peace and I was ready to let her go and I will be sending 25k for our triplets upkeep every month but for the sake of our kids we have settled down with 30k monthly leaving me with 15k.

So far, we have moved out of the family house, we are staying in a parlour and room house a brother from Canada gave us the place it is not permanent but it is better and we are very very grateful.

Like I said earlier my mother was staying in church, now we have a one bedroom house I have discussed with my wife for my mum to come and live with us and I will stop the 10k I was giving her and I will add it to her money making it 40k monthly, she has agreed.

Now that my mother is here with us, she started again with the 40k is not enough to feed all of us, note I don't eat breakfast, I eat lunch at work and in the evening I eat at home. She is only giving my mother food in the evening while she and my kids eat 3 Square meal a day.

I asked her why she is treating my mother so badly she said the economy is hard if she doesn't have she won't kill herself. I am sick and tired and if I have sorted things it was for the sake of our kids and now I am starting to regret. I am thinking from this month when I get my salary I will give her 30k and give my mother 10k to be cooking her own foods.

Is my decision good?

DedeNkem:
You allowed yourself to be forced into marrying someone you didn't want and you were not financially ready for marriage!

What a very stupid thing to do! I don't understand why people who are incapable of marrying or taking care a child have sex without condom!!! What if you contracted aids? You are very immature mentally!!

Now you've a huge problem in your hands! The best option you have now is to divorce the crazy immature and unreasonable woman you married before she drags you to your grave early! After that, you must take care of your children and they must live with you.

Tell your mother that you won't be sending her money monthly, to enable you take care of your kids!

₦55K salary is not even enough to sustain one adult! You need to save more money to start a lucrative business to better your life. You're lucky you don't pay rent.

Good luck.

I will not divorce her, it's up to her to decide what's best for her to do, if she want to stay with me and be happy with 25k fine and if she decide to leave, that will be fine with me because I won't stop her, if she is kind enough to take the kids with her it's fine and I will be sending that 25k to her for the kids upkeep.

abeniagbon:
Oga go learn am ooo ... that will settle your problem small... and then you look yourself and call yourself a man...

Driving has help to gain my ground as a man...

please do. if that work doesn't pay find keke maruwa dey drive

put away shame. woman need money forget office work and settle your home

may God bless your home

Thank you for the great advice

Mindlog:
The kids are less than 2 years old. His mother can not come in to take care of the triplets because he said his mother is presently living in a church after her sister sent her packing from her place and she can not live in his father's family house where he presently lives with his wife and triplets because his paternal uncles and aunts do not want to see her there!

Thanks

MummyD2020:
Your mum that opens her hands to collect from u should have a rethink. If she has a source of supporting herself, she should desist from now on first. Yes you should take care of our parents, but in this situation, shes is even supposed to give her quota. Nawa oh

She is homeless and living in church at the moment, where do you expect her to get the money from?

Laboni:
Make I no lie, 25k is not enough for me per month as a single guy, talk more of a woman with 3 kids and the husband go chop food inside too ... OP na one chance you enter so. That’s why it’s not good to allow people pressure into marriage because at the end, Na you go suffer am. OP the only option you have is to expand your source of income in whatever way possible or the marriage will end which I’m sure you’re both tired ....life is very hard gan

I know that 25k is not enough even that 55k is still not enough I give what I can afford, there's nothing I can do right now, if I get a well paid job I will give her more money to satisfy all her needs , have told her to be patient and this conditions is not permanent all she does is fighting me for more money. if I die now won't she take care of those kids alone? She want me to stop giving my mother that 10k ain't she a mother herself, we have 2 sons what if one day our sons gets married and their wives stop them from helping her, how would she feel. I will not stop helping my mother because they are both important to me.

abeniagbon:
Please Do you know how to drive??

Most men of nowadays doesn't know how to drive. I have a similar situation but knowing how to drive can help you alot. all this office work or salary work won't solve your situation

I mean double your hustle and find a way to leave that work that you're paid 55k too small consider house rent and Nepa Bill, adding lawma money among many other bill your to pay.

find a better work that you can call your own not working for people

No I don't know how to drive

GumGum:
Who is paying your sister's school fees? And is your Mum working?

She is a house help and her madam is the one paying her school fees

Regex:
I keep praying and telling God, I don't want twins, triplets or anything more than one baby at a time.

It's one baby at a time.

It's not easy sha, in my next life I want one baby at a time if it's triplet again, I rather remain childless

Nuttella:
You dont have money to take care of a child yet you were having sex without protection.

Avoid fornication, it will save you a lot of stress and heartbreaks.

I had money for one child and I was not expecting them to be triplets. My worst nightmare

zacwale:
You need wire thunder

Pad for children na 5000 or 5500 not a child na three children meaning for one month 5500*3=16500 plus bike 500 total 17k

Food for children like 8k or 10k in one month 24k

Let me stop from here

My brother double your hustle or your income

Or if you can sell two children for me I will buy them
Thank you

The least I can do is to sell my children please go to motherless home

Bebson007:
How old are these children? Cant u get any of ur relative to assist. Because u are going through physical, mental and emotional stress.

They are 1 year and 5 months

2mch:
Go and bring your mother to help. Why are you sending 10k to her to live somewhere, when your family is struggling and can use the 10k? Let her come and help with care of triplets so your wife can find a job.

My mother is living in church because her sister send her packing and she have nowhere else to go. She need that 10k I can't reduce it for now and she is not allow to come and stay in my father family house because my uncles and aunties will not allow her.

I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Aburada:
Is your mother working? Do you have other siblings that spend for your mum? If the above questions are both yes, then reduce the amount of money you give to her. In all honesty 20k is small in a month

She isn’t working at the moment , she was selling drinks but her sister has stopped her from using her fridge. I only have 1 younger sister she still in school

cooooooks:
Maybes never work.

Your job could disappear at any moment.

Having a second or third stream of income is key, even if it is small.

You are 100% right that I pray that things will get much better by next year so I could have my own shop aside from my job

cooooooks:
1. Increase what you give her slightly.

2. Do your other siblings provide for your mom?

3. Is there any way to reduce your daily expenses (hire purchase for small/old car/packing your food/drinking only water?)

4. Can you guys set up a small shop at home?

If I increase the money then my mum will have nothing , I am really trying for these 2 special women in my life , I wish I could spend more for them but right now I don’t have, I think she should manage it that way because no condition is permanent. My younger sister is still in school , for now I can’t set up a small shop because of financial issues but maybe next year

eejo:
Don't change your mind. You are earning more than Army ,Navy Police and other Security agencies Recurits. I have two advice for you. Get another source of income for your family in addition to the current one. Finally, please start family planning and don't give birth to another child again.

Thanks bro we are not having anymore kids

Chimaobi302:
I must say,
You are really trying, mehn I know how me and bro is managing with his salary that's even bigger than yours.
But, if I can suggest, since there is no other way money is coming in apart from the #55k, salary
And...

20k to your wife
10k to your mum
25k for you,

You can take the 5k from your own and give your wife. Then try to manage that 20k,raising 3 kids at once no be beans, if you are to really spend as you should on this kids, even 150k per month is not that enough,( talking about a good standards for the kids), but God that gave you this kids will make a way.. I believe giving her +5k will calm the misunderstandings..


May God bring Ebenezers to you, from today Favour shall be your portion, people will see you/family and bless you,.
In Jesus name

Amen.

Shalom..

Amen thanks bro

emeijeh:
Poverty dey this country sha!

55k?

Oga, the Lord is your strength

Thanks bro

dingbang:
Why do I feel this story is fake

Trust me bro is not a fake story

KidDarkness:
My own question is why is your wife not working? And you are not stingy but frugal

She is not working because the triplets are 11 months and we can’t afford a maid

21void:
No you're not.

Thanks bro

I earn 55k a month I have a wife and 3 children triplets b/g/b , I give my wife 20k monthly for house upkeep , I give my mother 10k my dad is late , and I use the remaining 20k for my transport , data , lunch at work and other expenses outside of my house , and I have been saving 5k in my piggy bank for rainy day ( I will break it on the 1st of January 2021)but my wife have complain bitterly that the money is not enough because she have to buy nappies , milk, foods for the children out of the money I should start giving her 30k monthly , I said I can’t give her more than 20k because if I give her 30k and what will I give to my mother , even that 20k I am left with it doesn’t supply all my monthly needs sometimes I am left with nothing before my next salary , my wife say I am stingy and this has been causing problems between us. Please I need your advice it’s a true that i am stingy ?