₦airaland Forum

Bad Teacher.

LOL @ Giving her a bucket when she cries. Now that's mean.

This is a "shoulda-coulda-woulda" situation. You should have told her. But Hey, no regrets. Regret is the most useless, meaningless emotion. Let it slide.

What y'all should concentrate on now is the "way forward".

Food. I want some good Nigerian food.

He's aight.

7 -on the average.

As Cliche as this may sound, you have to tell the guy the truth. By doing that you're doing everyone of you involved a huge favor (directly or Indirectly).

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-698959.0.html#msg8589477

hahahahaha  LOL @ Comments.

Yh, what's up with that?

I was watching a show about weddings (four weddings) recently, and I kept wondering why they never say "that" at the end of the "I do's".

Must the Groom always kiss the bride? (lol)

Why can't I be the one to kiss the Groom?

Good question. It's not a must. It's infidelity and other reasons. Human beings don't always get along and we always look out for ourselves so, there you have it.

I'll give it back. It belongs to him right?

I value honesty and respect.

Na wa o!!!

Why are you all throwing jabs? Abeg, stop this.

tom28:
I love and respect my nigerian queens and one thing i admire about them is that they are understanding and even though they might critisize we nigerian men that doesnt mean they hate us and neither does it mean we hate them when we critisize them .They are our wives,our mothers and our sisters and our hearts go up to them for the struggle they go through both in nigeria and the west.For you black american women i would say u are a complete disgrace to womanhood.You degrade your own men making fun of them in public while upgrading white men and looking down on your own men.You akata women lack manners and have numerous kids from different men with the end result that you become unsuitable partners and become single and frustrated up to middle age .Tell me who wants an angry frustrated 48 yr old akata woman with a bunch of kids from unknown daddies who had their unfortunate behinds locked up in jail for one crime or the other

tom28, why are you making all these generalizations?!

This has got to be by far one of the most disrespectful things I have ever heard on this thread. My mother is nothing like the women you've described. I've seen my fair share of loud and obnoxious Nigerian women but I don't say all of them are like them. Please stop making these generalizations about people. As a black man, I'm sure white people look at you as a black person and make horrible assumptions about you

tom28:
pureohio it ought not be news to u tht we blacks are divided.Its just like the light skinned AAs hate on the dark skinned AAs and the hausa man hate on the igbo man and the yoruba man hate on the tiv man.So yes we blacks are divided

I wouldn't really say that its news to me, its just that I would have thought that things like this have eased up. I have a friend who is East Indian, West Indian, and black--I'm not sure when the black side isfrom. Anyway, the East Indian family doesn't like the West Indian side. It's so sad

portage:
See, PureOhio you need to ask yourself questions (such as character wise, are you a snob?, do you pretend to be what you are not? above all, do you have a bachelors degree? because at your age, it is expected that you should have at least your bachelors) and answer these questions genuinely. See, if you do not have your self together education wise, (and you are doing all these wanna be western girl) NO Nigerian man will look your side for a long term commitment, they'll rather have their fun and move on. There's nothing wrong with you or your mum being AA.
So, be open to urself, After all, you can not deceive urself. Anyway, i dey your backyard  in Cuyahoga Falls (about 30mins away from Cleveland)

Ok, I'm taking in all of this advice

0lumide:
hmmmm ok oo!  But believe you already have a stalker lol;  NL stalking.  ping me, holla at me, just to say hi, but deep inside the man dying to meet lol.  Pinging is ok but most guys won't go for it lol.  na number dem want hahaha.

lol, if it's numbers people want then I'm sorry to disappoint them but I don't share numbers online. I don't wanna give people the wrong idea or impression of me. I'm not that sorta girl.

EzeUche!:
PureOhio. . . You are one mix girl. So your mother is AA and your father is mixed himself.  

lol, I know. Lucky me eh? Of all mixtures I ended up like this. Ha, I sound like a cocktail. I've been blessed with a father who has the best of both worlds tribally and a mom who has the best of both worlds culturally. What more can I ask for?

tpia@:
it doesnt really matter even if it was.

people are individuals, each with their own preferences.

i for one dont do all these " you cant date me therefore you're a racist/bigot/ethnophobe/whatever" mentalities.

if i'm going to call someone one of those tags, it would be based more on their actual talk, attitude and behaviour, not necessarily dating alone.

and i do recognize the fact that someone may just not like me for whatever reason- could be my looks, conversation, approach to life, appearance, etc. If they chose to add background to that list, then abeg i keep moving cos i cant be wasting my time running after somebody who is either not worth the effort or who i might not be suitable for anyway, and vice versa.



so, its a big world and as they say, "enyan o mo nkan t'oloun fi se" ie you dont know what might be prevented in future.


now, if a person cant be friends because of prejudice, then that's also different, but even then, not worth disturbing oneself over. Na them sabi.

Thanks tpia

shy-one.:
@ Pure

Ok - sorry for leaving the thread topic. Love your magnanimous approach.

Ah ah, what can I do? Yelling back won't solve anything. It's best to just try to calm things down rather than add fuel to the flame. Seems like a lot of people fight on this site

Hmmm, I don't think so. Suppose the person can't afford a ring but their intentions are true? I don't think you should not take someone seriously because there isn't some shiny metal in front of you

Just my two kobos.

@andyanders : I communicate the say way as them. I can speak both pidgin and 'regular' English.

@alexola20: Money has nothing to do with this! We're all from tha same fanacial background. And for the record, I resent that comment about all women loving money. We're not all the same. Just because one girl may be consumed with the idea of having money doesn't mean we all are

@0lumide: Protect their interest? I never thought of it that way. And Ohio is still boiling. Chei, pure madness!! Even the yeye governer was having a fit. I keep telling people, it's just a game. No need to call for blood. Such terrible behavior

Although I'm flattered, there's no need to dream of me. I just came to make frinds and  hear what people had to say.

@Thirst4Life: I'm not on a  Naija man hunt lol I just wanted to see if them acting the way they did had anything to do with my mother being African American.

@Shy-One and Basseti: I'm glad you two stoped arguing. I was starting to get worried. We can all discuss things without getting so heated

@tom28: What makes you think I do all those things you say. Not all African American act like that. Just as not all Nigerians are 419ers, not all Black Americans use the N-word. Its generalizations like that that divide us as black people

@Amya: I don't want anything. It was just casual talks at these events. I wasn't trying to push up on them or get them to put a ring on it lol. Oh by the way, I've seen your blog before.

@kandiikane: Ok, I will.

@everyone who is fighting: please stop it o!! We can talk without people wanting to rip heads off of one another.

@finofaya: There's not need to apologize for them. Besides, I've already heard Mrs. Chima's suggestion on Ghanaian men. But thank you though.

@2buff: I don't think being too fine is the issue. I'm not saying I'm Ms Universe but I think I'm ok enough. As for preference, I just want a man who respects himself, women, and can hold his own in any setting. Also, I'd like him to be fanacially stable or at least know what he wants to do with his life and where he wants to go. There's nothing sexier than two young independent Nigerian abi?

@sleekman: Thank you very much. I'll certainly pay close attention to your words.

@saxywale: Please forgive me for my bad photo. It's just that one pic. I don't normally look like my little cousins lol.

@Shy-One: Once again, thank you so very much. Your words really do mean a lot to me.

@btyfulmnd: I didn't do anything wrong, honestly. This all started when they realized that my mom was American. Aside from that, we got along before.

@Basseti: lol, I most certainly did not come to the event with a sign. I could never show my face in public again if I did that!

lol

marabout:
Lady Pure,

Those 20s -late 20s are not ready to settle down yet. Probably still having a swell time.
They may believe that black ladies go on about marriage too soon.
Hot blooded Nigerian men are not known to pass over a pretty babe like you BUT I did same to a few ladies (non-nigerian Africans) in the past. They were very sexy but I had passed the stage of starting anything with any babe just for the sake of it. I wanted to settle down.
Who knows: maybe you have always bumped into guys with enough on their plate already (womenwise).

(1)Don't be too talkative

(2) Don't be like in your face: but smile and be friendly

(3) If you want to meet Naija boys dress nice/ladylike but conservatively. A dress made with african fabric would help, showing your appreciation for African way of life.

(4) Don't fall for just any Dele, Okafor , Alechenu, Garuba, or Nosa  that comes your way. Don't be in a hurry. There are still some good Naija dudes out there.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

lol ok, I'm taking note of everything your saying

adconline:

I need asnwers to the following questions though!

1. How close are u families,  i mean does your parents and thiers act like sibblings. Its a possibility they see you as a sister and so your a no date zone.

2. How old are u, or better put, what is the age difference between u and these dudes! Cos if your much younger then worsens the issue in 1 above, if your older almost same but well,

3. Financial reasons might be a part of it, maybe your family being more affluent than thiers, or vice versa.

What am saying is, it might be anytin but not your race,


I like your answers! I'd like to add more. If it had something to do with your parentage, a Nigerian dude will be more inclined to date you because of your Naija connection. So your background is a great addition not a baggage if a guy is truly  interested in a girl who has got Naija link.

I dont know why people get this general assumption that Africans look down on AA's in the US.  Africans are more likely to be  made fun of fun than AA's. Africans  have image deficit- sometimes u get to receive comments like U dont look African, U look good for an African, I didnt know you were African, when did you learn English etc.

Also I dont think Nigerians behave the  same way as East or southern Africans would, so lumping Africans together does not really answer our question.

Maybe the guys did not find you datable not because of your parentage, but  because of the relationships your parents have with their parents.
Did you see those Naija guys hooking up with other girls at the party? If so, what was the ratio of girls to boys?

How about location? Your profile gives an illusion of someone who does not live in ATL, so if most of the guys live in ATL, they might not be ready for out of state dating.

Another  thing is the age difference, age matters to most guys, they don't want to  be  put under  pressure to do anything against their will.

You see , that's the thing that has me scratching my head. I go stop scratching sef, make my hair no skata.

And yes, you're right. I'm not from the Atlanta area. We just visit there every once in a while.

Yeah, I saw them with other girls--a couple of them, I'd never seen before. I'm not sure about the ratio though. Seemed like an even number to me.

Cuteobi:
Pureohio this is d 1st time am hearing dis.y would any guy not want to hook up with such a fine chick.if dem naija guys dont want ya,go out of the circle baby.nie hair baby!

@190 if pureohio doesnt want u nor ya money,am all urs sweetie!

Thanks

Sicherheit:
@ PureOhio
Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you people just meet? Did you expect them to be all up on you just like that? Give it more than a couple of meeting before jumping to the conclusion that they've lost interest in you. It's hard to believe but not all Nigerian guys are dog panting after the next steak.

I'm sorry, I think I may have used the word 'met' in an incorrect manner. A few of the guys were people I just met but the rest are guys I've known for a while. I wan't trying to say that all Nigerian guys are dogs panting. I have Nigerian girl friends and I hear the not so nice things they say about my countrymen and I know not all of it is true. Its not like I was trying to say that I expected them to be all over me. That wasn't even ony my mind. Its just that after a while of going to these gatherings, I noticed something. Please, try and see where I'm coming from with this. I love my Naija men--After all, my father is one. How can I hate the very thing that is responsible for my existance?

elrony:
@pureohio shawty this aint worrying urself out!!, itz not dat they dont like ya, thing is: they gat their own personal reasons!

and it aint all nigerian dudes cos i like ya (pix)   so cheer up!!

lol thanks. II guess everyone has theirt own preference when it comes to these things.

@everyone:
I'm really sorry for the really long response. I was really busy so I tried my best to response as quickly as I could.

Mrs.Chima:
Ghanian and other West African men LOOOOOOVES Black American women.  If you ever go to Ghana and if you got that FRONT AND BACK.  You are a done deal.  You may wants to bring some mace with you if you decides to go.  Just saying.  

Nigerian men on my side of the EARTH are funny acting sometimes.  It depends on if they been here a minute or if they are FOBA (FRESH OFF THE BOAT)  Other African men do not seems to have an issue with Black American women which is interesting.  It must be a certain group that have an issue with Black American women I supposed.  Hmm.

I have noticed CERTAIN African men do not appreciate women who show independence and strong willness. Interesting. It could be that too.

Ok, I hear ya. Ghana hear I come Naija, I dey come too.

campbell05:
if i was in that gathering i'd avoid her! she might be different, It's just like how you guys in lasgidi few stout, that is how they view them here because they are troublesome and very aggressive, and they are lousy too, No body Like wahala.

Avoid me? But I haven't done anything

sexylogan:
this is the first time i'm hearing that 9ja guys passsed s babe over becuz one of her parents is AA. And u said this isnt your first exprrience. If you can't ask them directly maybe u shud ask a Nigerian lady to find out frm her brothers or close peeps if there's sum particular reason why naija guys feel this way. Best of luck.
P.S. : there are lots of nigerians who'l love u for who u are and nt giv a hoot what nationality your parents are.

Yeah, it's not my first time experienceing it. It has happened with some family aquaintances but in this case it's just plain werid since these are close family friends. I still wonder how they couldn't have known. lol, was my mom that convincing that they had no idea?

bumba1234:
@ PureOhio, Nigerian + American = VERY DATEABLE, am in one now and its the best i have ever had, dont know what the problems dos guys have, have what u have said, u seem cool, am sure u will find your match sooner than later, just be urself,

Thanks. Maybe I should start some meet-up group for peopel who have one parent who is Nigerian. I'm  sure it'll give us all a chance to talk and shar stories.

anotibeat:
I saw your pics and wondered y anyone will just ignore you, and i made my conclusion, most Naija men dont want to have anything to do with ''mummy's girl'' u look like one and maybe a ''butty'' too, and all men now understand that most butty relationship dont last, getting married to a spoilt girl will not just be an option for any normal sensible guy, im not saying you are spoilt, but girls of today should learn how to be dependent. more reasons, anyway.

That seems a bit hurtful to be saying. I'm not a "mummy's girl". If you don't mind me asking, why would you suggest I'm a "mummy's girl" then tell me that I should learn to be dependent? The fact that you think I'm a "mummy's girl", isn't that an form of dependencey? I am in no way a "mummy's girl" nor am I spoiled. Yes, my parents have provided me with a good life and I will ALWAYS be grateful for having such loving and supportive parents but believe me, I am in no way a spoiled child. I know we don't know one another but I'm actually very hurt that you would suggest that.

Lovexme:
Forget bout those guys, you sound like a cool lady. If only I were in Ohio

Thank you. When we meet again, I'll sit down with them and have a heart to heart conversation. Even though their actions were indirect, I know they'll give me a straighfoward answer.

@izeek:
1. We're all pretty close. Some of us grew up together and some of us met as we were older. Our parents, particulary my Dad, grew up in the same area, went to the same schools, traveled to the same places. He's known some of them since he was a little kid. Shocking abi? As far as I'm concerned they're all family to me.

2. I'm 22. There really isn't much of an age difference. I've seen some of them date the Nigerian born girls that are around 20 to 26. In fact, some for them have dated in high school.

3. We're all pretty much from the same socioeconomic background.

By the way, its ok. I know some people may not like this thread but its fine. I know my people, and I know we can be very caring and loving so all is well. I wanna hear what everyone has to say no matter how hurtful it may be.

Salt.

Well, if the girl is HOT HOT, then I don't blame them. People like good things.

LOL. Funny topic.

Pweety4me:
[color=#550077]Hmmm. . .so y would you decline?is it unhealthy?[/color]

Yes, it's unhealthy. Pay your own bills.

wait4me:
yes always, because there are many beautiful girl who have no admirers.I think to be admired by someone is something good. dont you think so?

It's something "Good", but you don't have to be happy about it.

Although some may not see it as a bad idea, I do. Not to say that you shouldn't trust your guy but I just think its best for you to decline in his offer. There are other ways to show love without having to pay for things for someone. I think you should politely tell him that although it was a nice offer, you're more than capable of paying for your own phone expenses.

Awww, what a cute pic.

Although I don't know who Emeka 7 is, I hope he or she has many more years.

I know this isn't nice at all but I can't help but laugh at the article. I've heard of that website before though. Like my mother always says, "narcissism will get you nowhere". What a shame. Do people really need this kind of validation in oder to feel they're important? I can't help but wonder about the "rejected applicants" who tried to join this website

Mrs.Chima:
Hello PureOhio.

Never change yourself for ANYBODY regardless if they are Africans or Americans. You are what you are. You didn't ask your father to screw your mother and your mother to carry you to term. You are here. It doesn't matter if you was brown, yellow, pink, azure, torquiose, and silver. There are going to be people that will dislike you JUST BECAUSE.

The FACT that you are a product of African and Black American union shows that misconceptions isn't forever. Shyone touches some of the basic viewpoints of African views on Black Americans and Black American views on Africans. It will always be there unfortunately and that's life.

If you find someone that loves you FOR YOU regardless what their families and friends say that is priceless and hold on that that. It could be the fact that you told them your mother is Black American and the views crept in or it could be like someone said they were just being friendly. Chalk it up as an experience and enjoy it.

Remember do not CHANGE YOURSELF because the one FOR YOU whether he is Nigerian or Black American WANTS you as you are. He just may love that extra "akata-ness" in you.

Thanks. lol, I was thinking the same thing about being born half and half. These guys better get their act together. I've met some non-Nigerian Africans who don't seem to mind that my mom is an akata.

pleep:
Atlanta you say? I was there last week   not at a Nigerian conference though

Anyway im a Nigerian guy, about your age, and i don't think we are really choosy when it comes to ethnicity, and you look very Nigerian. Now it is true that many African men have a sort of bias against African Americans but its not racial its cultural. I know a half A.A half African women that dates many Africans.
Its possible that those guys were pretending [/i]not to be interested, I do that sometimes and it works wonders  

Btw are these guys born in the U.S or Nigeria or the U.S that makes a [i]huge difference.

Yeah, Atlanta

Oh no, please don't get me wrong. I don't think all Nigerian men are like those fellas I mentioned. I just wanted to hear what some people had to say.

Some of the guys were born in the US and raised in Naija, some were raised in the US and born in Naija, some were born and raised in Naija, and some of them were born and raised in the US. lol, their all over the place.