₦airaland Forum

sunnyprof: There are so many ladies you meet now, they will tell you there fiancé is in 'jand' or 'the states' but here they are the ones doing runs in Abuja and mostly in clubs day in day out. They meet at Easter and Xmass holidays when the lady pretends to be 'village wise' but educated (my Sarcasm pun)

I forgot to mention that point in my post. Nigerians and cheating are very synonymous. I video came out on youtube about a survey, asking regular guys and girls how many bf/gf they have. On the average they each said 3 boyfriends/gfs. On national tv o
Naija girls sabi cheat. Add university runs plus NYSC
Well-cultured my yansh. Kneeling down to greet elders cant make a marriage last/succesful.

Carrying a girl from Nigeria (filled with expectations) that knows little or nothing about the system here to settle down abroad all in the name of language and food is a ticking bomb.

I agree with 50calibre about avoiding girls from "poor/below average" background. Na there own worse pass.

They come home because girls in nigeria see those guys as a big deal. "He's a jand guy.. he lives in yankee".
The girls in abroad however know the guys'' secrets-- we're all doing the 9-5 hustle together. No one is special here.

But but but, the guys abroad are getting wiser and ignoring these foolish stereotypes. Most of those girls wifed up from nigeria come here and become liabilities. They see all the "goodies" and start misbehaving.
It's better to marry someone in.the same system as you (if you plan on staying here).

The naija-based girl think you can afford brazillian hair. The yankee girl know you've got bills to pay.
All the talks about being more well cultured and better cook is BS. It's even easier to cook here-- there's youtube and constant electricity

coogar: are you silly? do i know you?
what's UPS?

That's how you catch a pathetic liar. A caveman knows what UPS is. At least deny sensibly.

Stop trying to save face with you friends on here. Get away from your screen and come sort yourself out. Fast!

coogar: huh?

Shut up and stop protecting a foolish online reputation and get your crusty arse to your damn phone. UPS is bothering me. Geez!

coogar: verbal aggression is a form of abuse.

stop avoiding me.. we need to talk..get on your damn phone.

...... about time. I knew the free for all health care thing was coming to bite them in aśś.
Immigrants in USA are required to have health insurance and even South Africa
The usa even turn their own citizens back for not having insurance (not saying it's appropriate )

.

justwise: I'm ready to receive that training but while we do that you also need a training in man management skills, many of us receive little or no support from you, you hardly communicate with us even as we have private channel of communication, you preferred disrespecting your moderators in public than having private discussion/ warning before going public.

How do you expect us to be the best we can when you publicly claimed that we are not part of your staff? That we don't represent you and speak on your behalf? Why do you allow many of us to put in more than 4yrs of our life trying to keep our individual sections organized and decent while all we get in return are abuses and death threat both in private and in public? Why do you take our service to you and nairaland community for granted and at the same time expect the best from us?

No moderator is an angel, we all make mistakes but no moderator will take abuses on daily bases with absolutely no support from the site owner without cracking at one point.


SEXKILLZ moderate the two most visited and most controversial section in this site, its practically impossible for him not to have enemies, was he not voted by the public to moderate Romance section? Was he not voted the best moderator in nairaland only just a year at the job?

Hiring and firing will not change the fundamental problem, whoever you bring in tomorrow will face the same problem which your attitude towards your moderators and only an angel will hang on taking it all in without cracking.

Regarding people who work for you as ordinary member and agents is the highest is the level of insensitive.

You're just a VOLUNTEER! Know your place. I blame Seun for making you people grow wings. "Resign" now and gazillions of members will come to volunteer to be trained without getting paid.

With the way you and the other moderators were acting (like you and Seun created the site ) yesterday, I'm still shocked he hasn't trashed you guys.

What insolence!

Seun should simply "fire" all these moderators and start afresh.

That was a fast response by Seun; Nuh bad Atall.

As per training the moderators, good one! Make sure the training is thorough (since you won't be paying them).

My further suggestions;

-When looking for volunteers to moderate, look thoroughly for peace loving and unbiassed users; check their past records. Making trolls moderators and hoping they'd change doesn't make sense, they'd only get worse.

-let the moderators be anonymous to users. Take their names off the top of the sections and replace with "mod1" "mod2" or something. That'd reduce their gra gra.

- create a warning system for banning. After a user has received several polite warnings by a mod, then a ban is inevitable. That way, the users know what's coming and there'll be less drama.

These are just suggestions. You don try for one day already. Kudos.

Mods are an important part of the sanity of this forum; invest time in making them sound for the job.

joeydozzy: In all the forums I'm active on, all the mods are active participants on the site. The only suggestion would be if they stay away from threads like this

I don't know what your forum is but I'm very sure they are active

but there duties are behind closed doors aren't they? They don't shove it in your face like these ones, and argue with members.

These ones remind me of prefects in high school; they're drunk on power.

As I was reading the thread, one even came on the thread to say something like "I've had enough, i'll start banning".
What sort of 'notice me' behavior is that? Will you get the f@ck out . . lol

They're too unprofessional. I know it's just a moderating job, but believe it or not, they're the cops of NL. Good cops, good society. Bad cops, bad society. Check out Nigeria; a sh1tstorm.

Interesting thread.
I'm on a lot of forums and social media type platforms, but there's just something about Nairaland that is so substandard.
Suggestions for the owner of NL;

-The moderators aren't even supposed to be visible. They should be back stage robots implementing warnings, warnings, and bans. People shouldn't know who the mods are, mods are just mods.
It's very wrong to give "power" to a particular set of people called mods and shove them in people's faces. The mods will definitely misuse the power.

-There should also be an incentive for the mods to do a perfectly good job. I heard they don't get paid, and that's exactly why they're running around like gorillas on heat. It's more like they're doing you (the owner) a favor; which shouldn't be so.
Stop being cheap and pay competent people to do the job.

-Lastly, I support the OP on the delete/deactivate button campaign. Facebook has it for a reason: tumblr, instagram, twitter, have these features for a reason.
People change their minds and it shouldn't be a problem to give them an option of pulling out anytime they want. Abi na by force?


Nairaland should be bigger than this already. Be dynamic, make changes, strive for a better forum.

Notice how no one is paying to advertise here anymore? Food for thought!

Kslib: wooow,so so cuteeeee!!!
To born pikin con dey hungry me...
..
All izz well with you and your family!!

pikin no go cute like that baby. pikin dey different from child/kid. that baby na child.

50calibre: Almost everyone on this thread is whining about the governor's action, " he shouldn't slap a woman, it's violence against women bla bla bla " please give me a break.

Women have been clamouring for equal rights, yet when the chips are down, they pull out the gender card, "oh don't do that to a woman" my question is why? Isn't it what you want.

If you stand in front of a person and screaming to his face like a banshee, expect anything, if it was a man, a fight would have ensued, and I personally think the woman should have returned the slap, that's equality.

I condemn the man's action, not because she is a woman, but physical assault against anyone is unacceptable.

The only reason I'd even condemn that man's action is because he's a governor. With great power comes great responsibility.

If he was an "ordinary" citizen, I won't really have much to say, coz some women too dey para. She probably did kick him in the balls and you know how painful that shït can be.

The only situation I think a man shouldn't hit a woman is if she's significantly smaller than the man. However, if she's about the same size and weight with the man and she attacks first, why not? It's called self defense.

I've even heard of wives beating their husbands blue and black. Hahaha.

deeptesting: Well it all depends on the angle you look at it, Ariel Castro kidnapped 3 ladies and held them up for 10yrs? Today he is dead but the ladies will live with the emotional and psychological trauma..Women are vulnerable and need more laws to protect them. So been in the western world does not change their vulnerability to abuse, however, they have a better platform to seek redress, don't paint Africa black,I won't take that from you.

Africa is already black, so me painting it black wont change anything.

Couldn't Aerial Castro have kidnapped men too ? Victims come in all shapes and sizes; women, men and children. You can't control who the victims are, or do you want women caged from the world all in the name of vulnerability ?

What differentiates Africa from the "western world" is how criminals and victims are treated after the crime.
There's crime everywhere, there's no justice in Africa, get it ?

deeptesting: The female folks are endangered specie .....The world has to do more to protect them..The Govs. Action is totally unacceptable and history will always remember him for hitting a defenseless woman.

....endangered specie in third world countries, not the world. Women are more protected then men in first world counties.

If that had happened in a "civilized" society, the governor would be found guilty of assault and would be asked to step down, while the lady would become a rich celebrity. Oprah will invite her to her show and so will Ellen. She'll be the spokesperson of a "stop violence against women" campaign.

NIN and NID are the same to me in the grand scheme of things .....

NID complain about how much they wish they were back home to evade tv license folks (lol); not.be bothered about credit card debts and numerous bills.

NIN complain about the basics; no traffic lights, no electricity, water, fuel, etc..

Theoretically, one isn't better than the other.

So many NID want to come back home to escape constant 9-5s and huge taxes, and NIN want to go to America to pluck diamonds from the trees.

Nigeria has a huge advantage over diaspora; there are so many basic problems in Nigeria that with enough capital it's easy to become super rich.

So there really shouldn't be an argument of who is better. We both have what we want.

The perfect life ; make money in Nigeria for a while, travel back to USA to spend , make money in Nigeria for
a while (and spend), travel to the UK to spend , on repeat

This isn't a big deal. No need to call the church and pastor names. I've noticed that fewer and fewer people are dropping money in the offering basket in church. It's not that they don't have it; societies are only becoming cashless. Why not find a method for debit/credit card holders to pay? So, no biggie!!

No biggie, provided that the church is interested in the welfare and well being of the church members as much as they're interesting in church members paying offering and tithes.

My former church "installed" an ATM machine at the door step of the church. But to call church members during the week na wahala; to follow up with members na wahala; na only Sunday to Sunday business.

jennykadry: ALL OF YOU WILL BE JOBLESS, YOUR JOBS WE WILL TAKE AWAY FROM YOU AND OUR PAY WILL BE QUADRUPLED BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT PEOPLE INTELLECTUALLY BLESSED HAVE GRACED THEIR PRESENCE"......in other words shuuushhhh and be thankful to us cos without us staying abroad, some of you people will be begging on the streets for food.

OP made sense (to me) for most parts, and then destroyed her well-written essay by typing that piece of trash. Most nigerians in diaspora have relatives siblings, spouses, and/or parents back in Nigeria. These relatives of theres also contribute to their well being in diaspora; especially students. Most international students (like myself) pay tuition from money sent from relatives in Nigeria. Abi where I won find $8,500 per semester working 20hrs a week (minimum wage)?

You can't really blame NIN for their attitude towards us. They say a child that hasn't been outside of his father's farm gloats that his father's farm is the largest. If I didn't have the priviledge to travel outside of Nigeria, i'd still be pledging allegiance to the country. I'd still have that typical nigerian mentality that I so much loathe now. That is to say, the people are a product of the messed up system.

So, that statement you made is very out of place.

If I didn't have reltives back home sending me tuition, i'd be "begging" here!

The OP mentioned $6500 so I'm assuming she's an international student in America.

People don't really understand her struggle ... studying in America as an averagely intelligent international student means you have to have a mighty source of income ($8000/semester kind of income), which most likely comes from parents and guardians.

An international student is ONLY allowed to work on-campus for 20hrs a week (that's the rule of their visa). The average minimum wage in America is $8/hr. 8 x 20 x 4 = $640 /month. There are 4 months in a semester, meaning, while working, she'd be earning $2560/semester. PS: on-campus jobs are a pain in the ársè to find; everyone wants them.

Mind you, I haven't added accommodation and feeding.

So, folks, this isn't about her being lazy or "promiscuous"(not making excuses for her). If her tuition is due next week and she wants to stay in the country legally, something has to be done FAST!!

And oh, about loans from banks and all, like I said, international students' hands are tied in the US! You need the money!

Long courtship doesn't necessarily mean the marriage is gonna be blissful, neither does short courtship. You can never know who you're getting married to (for sure) until the marriage as ended.

My boyfriend was professing love and wifey talks three days after meeting me (i thought he was crazy) and two years later we're still going strong.

OP if you like her, go with the flow ..... What do you have to lose? Your virginity ?

albuquerque: Are you sure he can't be a closet gay and date me?Okies......will check myself, I really don't want to be around gays , right from time, I m scared they will change my mentality and sens of right and wrong , same reason I wouldn't want my son to be gay...........it just doesn't gel, I just can't have peace of mind being around such........I m sorry, it's like asking me to accept pôrn. I just cant stand it

What you mean you can't accept p0rn? You can't watch p0rn or you can't be a p0rnstar?

Your boyfriend? He's gay. Run!

While I think it’s perfectly fine for a woman to bring up the subject of marriage, and highly advisable for a couple to discuss the topic of marriage before a proposal, I want to reiterate that it is the man’s duty to get down on one knee and ask for your hand in marriage.

Ladies, don’t believe any hype that a man tries to sell you about us being “equals” and how “a woman can propose too.” A real man wants the honor of getting down on his knee and asking his woman to marry him. A real man does not want you to take that away from him.

https://cdn.madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/propose-378x350.jpg

With all that being stated, I now want to ask all you ladies a couple questions:

Do you think there’s anything wrong with a woman proposing to a man?

Would you ever propose to your boyfriend if he wasn’t taking the initiative to propose to you?

Ha? These motivational speech givers should be banned. They are not keeping it real and their advice may hurt OP in the long run.

Girl, keeping it real, these so called men that love "big girls" run after "portable girls" after 5 yrs of marriage when you start adding more pounds and folds. No be men? I'm sure your current boyfriend said a lot more than what the guys here are saying, "you're the beyonce of my life" etc.
I have several obnoxious and over-confident plus sized friends. They secretly cry to me how awkward and uncomfortable they are in bed with their men. Some say they are even too shy to put the light on. They want to "work it" but they just can't. So I have some empathy for you.

The number one thing now should be taking care of your physical heart. Healthy BMI is $exy.

People are actually bigger than OP and comfortable with it? That's not healthy Heard African men love excess fat though

OP, self confidence aside, lose some weight for your health's sake. I know it's easier said than done but it can be done. You don't want to be a moving heart attack (I don't mean to sound harsh o). Think about when you start having babies (adding more weight). I see potentials for a healthy figure 8 Good luck girl.

fresh_dude: Lol. And thou shalt rant when thou findest good reason to. And shame on us for diving in head first, no questions asked. Just sentimentalist reactions all over the place.
Also, it just occured to me that even videos could be manipulated to achieve whatever ends, though that might be more difficult.
I guess celebrities should now take recorders on themselves everywhere and set records straight when hanky panky has been detected.
Crazy.

I said I'm out but I had to come back. Lol
Check this link out
https://www.nairaland.com/1341542/tonto-dikeh-denies-posting-marijuana#16526710

I follow tonto on instgram and she never posted marijuana pictures. When I saw the gist on here yesterday I knew it was another blogger up to no good.

Now, the girl has come out to defend herself and people don't believe her. Even people that don't know what instgram is dey follow talk. Lol

Another media palava. I follow tonto dike on Instagram and I she never posted a picture of weed or whatever. I was wondering which Instagram they were talking about yesterday, the one in Pluto perhaps .