₦airaland Forum

so educative!

onilegogoro, close to masha in surulere

Some people wont ever appreciate honesty. However, lawyer na u i go beg. Pls, i plead with u on behalf of the few good people on Nairaland. Dont be annoyed or discouraged. The Almighty Lord will bless u richly abundantly cos u are doing a damn good job.

I guess it is true that they are a couple. If it wasnt true she would have denied it outrightly. Well it is her choice but she should thread softly as a lot of her fans wont want her to be hurt or humiliated if it goes wrong. Goodluck to her.

oyewolejos:
Simply put u must be a retarded person to believe all this cock and bull stories.Do u work with TSA or FBI or CIA?I travelled during the heat of the bomb attempt and i never experienced any difficult at the almighty JFK Airport so where did u get your stories.People just talk on this issue based on asumption but is not true.All the above is just figment of your own imagination.
get the bleep outta here

You are pathetic and also the biggest fool of the century for calling me a retarded person. How dare you? All becos i posted something i wanted other nairalanders to read. Or were you blind that u couldnt see i said it was sent to me and just wanted to share? How could someone ever thought that i made it all up? Men! you really pissed me off and you can just get the Bleep off my thread if you know it upset you this much. shior !

Hi all,

Someone sent me this and i just thot i should share it with you guys. To me it is ridiculous, though some sound funny.

To be fore-warned is to be fore-armed.



New Rules of Air travel for People of Nigerian Origin in the United States


1. Do not go to the toilet for the whole duration of your flight.

2. Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.

3. Do not request for a window seat. Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot,


4. If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with a sharp implement on a plane is asking to be arrested.

5. Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight. Do not look too happy or too sad.


6. Do not be too polite to flight attendants.

7. Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

8. Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains
nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper, or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.

9. Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban ,or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras,

10. NEVER travel with your laptop computer.

11. Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair.

12. Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker.

13. Do not talk to other Nigerian on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.

14. Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

15. Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

16. When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.

17. Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious.

18. Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

19. Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

20. Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.

21. Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.

22. Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula, Make sure your baby’ diapers are empty.

23. Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

24. Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.
Muslim is defined as :
a. Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-, All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S airspace
a. Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.
b. Anyone that knows what a mosque is.
c. Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.
d. Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

25. Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian. Preferably always travel with your pastor.

26. Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

27. Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.

28. Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affairs, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

27, Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

28, YORUBA people please!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may thing you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast,

29. NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft,

30. Wearing agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

31. Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided. If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”,

32. DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.

33. Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

34.Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.

35. Do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

This guide was created by the Nigerian Counter-Terrorism Unit. Research was sponsored by The Save Your Behind (SYB) Trust Fund.

hmmmm

lol,

Happy married life to both of them and goodluck.

it is possible but rare

lol

Maybe, maybe not. i know most guys will prefer to make friends with ladies first, so they can use that as a gateway to earn our trust, make us notice their intentions and probably win our hearts to be their lover.

They both does the same thing, that is, they are employed to wear clothing or pose with a product for purposes of display and advertising. The difference is that a supermodel is seen as a model who is extremely prominent and successful and who can command very high fees.

It doesnt matter if he is hairy or not, as long as he appeals to me sexually.

May her soul rest in perfect peace. I pray you find someone true real soon.

Dont let that weigh u down. Not everyone could be trusted, u know,

i will steal power from the world's most powerful people and use it to influence and improve the lives of abandoned children of the world.

she is an arsenal fan, i am sure

life is not a bed of roses

maedan:
Listening to some golden oldies stuff: If You Think You're Lonely Now and A Change's Gonna Come ---Bobby Womack.


_{Sometimes you just want to know what real singing sounds like, before all the voice-enhancing gimmicks we have now.}

Do you always like oldies stuff?

OK , I'll do that for ya.

Even playerz do fall in love, so why the cold feet.

Do you want me to help you break the news to her?

@congoshine

Is she aware about your feelings for her? Tell her now. why are you wasting time again?

congoshine:
But I think it was quite easy after the letter 'M'

However 'Aprilmay' correctly called it ages ago    :

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-297272.128.html

so i actually got 2nd position in this guessing game?

at least i try sha. no be so?



what nairaland has joined together, let no-one put asunder.
So congoshine + maedan, no asunder

congoshine:
Well. . . .  . . . . . .

I would have asked for your hand in e-marriage ,but that would be bigamy      :

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-297272.128.html

yeah!

i got it right.

hey, where is my prize?

it is Maedan!

goodluck to them.

chaz:
So by now you must have heard about twitter.com, where you can interact with your favourite stars. so who do you follow? i'm following my boy FABOLOUS and the hottest diva right now LADY GAGA!

as far as i am concerned, there is no big deal about Lady Gaga.

oh gawd! i cant stand a man that is dirty or with body & mouth odour/unfaithfulness/being stingy
no matter what, i cant even fall for dat kinda guy not to talk of dating them.

adexcarz, can u help with this VIN

2HKYF18734H520758

AND THE ONE BELOW TOO

1HGCM56663A102462