₦airaland Forum

Breaststroke:
Did you have to open a counter thread?

You could have shared your own experience/preference on the other thread.

Is non of your business. Do I need your opinion to open a thread?

I read where someone posted that she will choose her dad before her mom my dear just consider yourself lucky.


I will always choose my mom a million times before I consider choosing my dad in fact I won't even choose my dad at all.
My dad was a secondary school teacher likewise my mom. But my dad doesn't have any single value for education.
I remembered when I enrolled for my WAEC , the fees was around 1,200naira then. My dad refused to register it for me. My mom did.
After my secondary school I stayed for 6 good years before I got admission, that period was the worst trying times of my life. So many times, i had sucidad thought that if sniper was available as at that time i would have drank it and ended it all. My mom stood by me to encourage me, my mom shared my pains. my dad told me that my mates are on the express selling grandnut and bread . my mom was there for me till I got admission and graduated . my dad up till date doesn't even know my course of study.

My mom told me that when I was a baby my dad refused to buy baby milk for me. My mom was still job haunting so couldn't buy milk for me my dad refused to buy milk in the name that a woman who is jobless, her child has no reason drinking milk and I wonder why the hatred from birth yet he calls me his mom's replica.

My dad has never bought anything for me , not even a toothbrush.
I am only praying to God to give me the grace to forgive him and let go.

My mom suffered and struggled to saw her 6children through the university. My dad had the money but refused to spend it but was spending it on side chicks.

I will die for my mom and will love her till my last breath .

Mummy I love you and I thank you for making me a strong woman today.

[quote author=obembet post=82542159]I have read series of argument on nairaland and other forums but it still baffled me why many children considered mother first before thier father. I'm a young lady too, I have feelings for my mom but my dad always been thier without any excuse.
mom is more important from birth till you go to school. After that it is the father who takes care of your education, guides you in your career. At least in my case this is true because my mom was uneducated. My dad teaches us and guides all his children to succeed in life. Without my dad I will lose my path and fail in life. Therefore, In my case my father was a good man. My mom gave me life but my father taught me how to live.

What's your views?

Cc Lalasticlala
MissyB3
Fynestboi
Dominique c

Good for u I love my mom and will still choose my mom over and over again even in my next life. My mom is a teacher like wise my dad.
My didn't even give me 2k to register for my WAEC not that he doesn't have d money at that time he has it but refused to pay. My mom did after secondary school I stayed back for 6years blf getting admission and I can't forget what my dad told me during that period that my mates are on d express selling cooked groundnut and bread. My mom stood by me, shared my pains and saw me through the university and my dad refused to pay a dim. My dad doesn't even know what I studied in the university. U see why I will die for my mom. I am what I am today cos of my mom. My dad has never bought anything for me in life not even a toothbrush of 10naira

loveymom:
There are men who will never admit their fault until when caught in the act. That's why I asked she invite the families to discuss the matter.

She said she already asked the husband and he denied it

All men are like that. They will never admit there fault until u catch them red handed. So there is no point trying to make d man say yes

[quote author=calgaryFriend post=82602640]There is nothing you can do about it, Africa is a patriarchal continent . So yes I know what you are insinuating but face the facts, we do not have the same rules for both men and women it is just what it is.

Having said that, I insist it will be a stupid thing to call the whole family meeting on her husband, wether she eventually finds out he is guilty or not.

What she needs to do is to find out the truth, if she cannot find that out from her husband without a family meeting then she does not have a marriage to start with.

Why must you have a family meeting before you know the truth, he is a grown man and if he does not confess such a thing to his wife then there are deeper issues, and yes you may not agree with me but calling a family meeting on the issue will not solve any problem, it will make it worse.



If this issue is d other way round. And the wife happens to be d one sleeping with her husbands nephew am sure u won't be saying this. U will call a family meeting. Now is about d man and u are saying we shouldn't call a family meeting. This is why I hate Africans.

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For your mind now your NYSC and your certificate is an asset.
Continue to think like someone in 1980. Till poverty do u strong thing

Drop it

Yours is even small. I wake up one Friday morning g and discovered 10k has suddenly disappeared from my UBA account. I waited till monday if they will revert it but they never did. I went to UBA bank and met with d customer care to know where my 10k has disappeared to. She ran up and down and came back to me that I should wait for 10days that the money will drop with a lien . up all today am still looking for my 10k. Not as if I did any transaction or transfer of 10k for it to suddenly disappear from my account.
Nigeria is a shit hole country.

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[quote author=hurthubby post=81251133]My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.



As long as u are still married to her and she is still cheating u will never progress in life. U will always have problems in your marriage. If u want to be successful in life simply divorce her and start a new life. If not u will never progress in life. Her promiscuous life will keep on tying u down. We call it ishi in my village.

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