₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
They didn't state otherwise either.
One claims to love medical doctors and programmers but was dating a 100L girl. What does she know about ambition or career?

Women that are ready to abandon their education or job for a man are rarely ambitious. No ambitious girl would get pregnant in 200L. They were only there because they didn't have a man. Once they get married, you won't see them with book or near an office again. The first man knew he was playing with fire. How can a 100L girl fool a supposed intelligent older man?

Since they say their wives are handling the home excellently, then they have to be firm on budgeting to avoid running into debt.

Every contribution mustn't be through a payslip and the actual issue is their wives are extravagant. Many women do not get that level of provision from their husbands and these ones are abusing it. Such is life. They can do whatever they wish with their wives. Other bachelors should take note.

I hear ya. Well said

BarrElChapo:
How is he heartless?

He asked him to remove the quote

sonofsteven:
Your uncle was educated but he's an illiterate financially

You see those uneducated women, na they give peace of mind and when you marry them, and you are financially buoyant no wam, but if you are not, teach her how to do business and watch her hustle like a mad woman, let her learn a skill and see hustler.... they are tools it's you that will make the too work for you.....

I have a friend who married uneducated and unskilled woman, till date she's a full-time housewife, the man is rich his kids are studying in the US...

My uncle married uneducated and unskilled woman, his wife is the one managing the business he opened for her and she equally learnt catering too...

So many examples, educated women are difficult to direct and lectured because they believe they have known it all and more exposed but indirectly they are not, street is different from school room etc.... mind you, I've dated educated ladies and they are headache, na just tolerance,patience and endurance you go need..if you complain sef they say you complain too much and talk too much, I've learnt to stop complaining and talking

I don't know how you people see this thing called marriage sef. This is someone that will be by far the closest to you and you spend more time with her than with anyone else by far, and the only person you'll be intimate with. How can the relationship be smooth if you don't speak the same language - and you have all sorts of experiences she never had?

Princewill1:
You go dey one place, where you no dey go dey hungry you... Lol

I pity all these woke modern men that has been psyoped by Western media. The White man that gave you this new version of what a wife should be has the highest divorce rate in the world. Family institution in the West is in perpetual shamble.

Who told you that a wife must go out to work? Which company did your grandma worked for?

Who told you that a wife must engage in an intellectual discuss with her husband? Did you grandpa demanded same from your grandmom?

Traditionally we have gender roles, once she is doing her roles at home, she is good. While yours is to protect and provide. If you want intellectual conversations go meet your guys or join a book club. I don't know whats wrong with this modern woke men? Women are not logical beings and most educated woman of today won't even stimulate you intellectually.

You dey admire female doctors? you don ask their husbands how far. So you don't know that most highly educated women sees themselves as equal to a man, they are mostly feminists. You will most likely have a hard time being in a meaningful relationship with them unless you're willing to submit. Celebrity marriages in Nigeria where both couples are educated and are working but union usually endup within 1 or 2 yrs should have taught you some lessons. Unless you're looking for a doctor wife to showoff.

Even in the US there are thousands of housewives living in their husbands Mansons. You can look it up.

She often threatening suicide could be as a result of underlying mental health condition. You should take her for medical evaluation. Other than that she is good.

It is a matter of arithmetic. I+0=1 BUT 1+1=2. Also, she'll value money more if she actually makes money than just handed money!

thomas2024:
It pains me I couldn’t address the guy directly. It seems like he has deleted the post. He will still make that same mistake again of building up another lady he intends to marry for the second, third, or even fourth time. I hope he can see this comment of mine by the way. He made a lot of mistakes and most men should not fall into that pit. We all learn everyday.

As a man, make sure you’re better than your woman times 10. Women are naturally hypergamous in Nature. This guy is in question keep developing his woman but never develop himself in other aspect ans I can beat my chest that he doesn’t have the needed charisma. He also makes a mistake of contributing financially to the relationship without allowing the lady in question to contribute. Women find it hard to leave any relationship or marriage they’re deeply invested into. As a man, your status matters to your wife. When you act as a needy in a relationship, with only you making the relationship work, you’ll get played by your partner who will possess the belief that she has all the card, with the guy having the mindset of nowhere to go simply because he wants to make the relationship work after he has invested time and resources into the relationship while on the other hand, the lady has only dropped just 10k. She has nothing to lose. As a man, before you spend 2k on your woman or in a relationship, make sure you’ve collected 20k from her or she’s spend 20k in the relationship. Think or sink!

Here's the post:

Justicepluto:
Life is like a two-sided coin.

Three years ago, I met a young woman fresh out of NYSC. When we started dating, she told me she had graduated with first-class honors and was exceptionally intelligent. Impressed by her potential, I began supporting her in every way I could. I encouraged her to pursue her ICAN certification and provided financial help, even though I was struggling myself. At one point, I had to ask her to stop making random financial demands, assuring her that I would always support her when it was truly necessary.

For the first two years, as she grew professionally, I focused on building our future. My dream was for us to travel together after our first year of marriage. She was indeed brilliant, intelligent, and hardworking, which only fueled my commitment.

By our third year, we had seen significant progress: we acquired lands and a car. But amid this growth, one persistent issue overshadowed everything, the lack of basic respect. She never respected me the way I respected her. I held her in such high regard that I even tempered my sexual energy around her. During intimate moments, I often appeared subdued so as not to overwhelm her, especially since early in our relationship, she had mentioned that sex was painful for her.

One day, during a disagreement, we went out to resolve our issues. In the middle of our conversation, she abruptly stood up and left. I was stunned but swallowed my pride. After talking to her about it, she repeated this behavior during another attempt to settle things this time, I took her phones in frustration, and she snatched mine, even pulling my second phone from my pocket.

I began questioning why she couldn't show me respect. I never hit her, abused her, cheated on her, or shouted at her. Whenever I tried to correct her gently, she would raise her voice to counter me, and I'd stay calm to avoid escalation.

She rarely did any chores when she visited. To be fair, she would cook, but that was it—nothing else. Helping with something as simple as cleaning the toilet seemed like an act of divine intervention. My laundry was never her concern; she could wear my clothes and just leave them for me to wash, as if it were none of her business.

Over time, it became difficult for me to address her behaviors without sparking fights, so I started avoiding those conversations altogether. I even bought several plots of land through her, and her company at the time gave her commissions, yet not once did she ever say "thank you." I overlooked all of it.

Her constant disrespect and eagerness to walk away during conflicts made me realize I needed to test her loyalty. I couldn't pinpoint the issue, as there wasn't a single aspect where I thought I was falling short—and when I asked her, she couldn't name one either. Was it the gifts? The phones? Extending my generosity to her family in small ways? The advice I gave? I was truly confused.

During one argument, she left our shared bed, slept alone, and packed her things the next day.

I decided I had to confirm what was really going on, especially since February 14th was the day I had planned to introduce myself to her family officially. When she later came to apologize, I lied to her that I was a sickle cell patient. She cried, accused me of wasting her years, and left. As she was going, I expressed my interest in her regardless, pleaded with her not to tell anyone, and asked if this was a sacrifice she could make for us—that she should think about it and get back to me.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. At one point, I had sacrificed my job, my source of livelihoodbecause her actions had triggered me so deeply. We met again later, and I begged her not to walk away. I promised everything: adoption, sperm donation, IVF. She refused, saying the money we could save and channel into other things shouldn't be wasted.

This was a woman who, in our three years together, had never done anything for me or my family financially. I borrowed money from her when times were tough and repaid it almost immediately. She earned well currently in the hundreds of thousands but never once had she given me even 5,000 naira as a gift. The first and last time she gave me any money was for a hospital bill, and it was 10,000 naira. Yet here she was, complaining about wasting money.

I laughed it off inwardly as she left and sent her belongings after making sure she asked for them. Weeks later, her mother called me as usual to ask about our issues. Because of her daughter's pride, her mom would rather intervene to settle things than her make any genuine efforts to show she was sorry. I felt there was no point discussing it, if her daughter's pride and ego weren't in the way, she would have stepped up to make amends herself, rather than involving her mom.

Now, I'm starting over. This time, it's not about who's the most successful or intelligent, but about finding someone who will stand by you when the chips are down—someone willing to make sacrifices, even when it's uncomfortable for them.

Many highly intelligent and working-class women remain single or end up divorced for a reason. Some are married but face similar challenges. Ultimately, it's about recognizing your potential and finding someone who will stand by you to achieve it.

In the end, she was stuck in a fantasy shaped by her past relationships, which I don't want to write about. In the end, everyone will be happy.

N.b
I couldn't type everything i overlooked and endured but i am glad it's a fresh start..

thomas2024:
😂No be only ọgbanje na ọgbanka😂😂😂Nollywood and Asabawood don full your head. People with a mindset of yours are dangerous to themselves and society at large. And a lot of people like you people the country in millions. It is well😂😂🥳

No mind am. Superstitions, na im keep us backwards for Africa.
BUT, whatever you believe rules you!

CHIEFCHICKEN:
Why are you following me left right and center
Who be dis

That was my first time ever quoting you.
Anwo multiple accounts, you don't know who quoted which!

Adaisback:
Op , be calming down o. I have seen a man that married a woman that is earning more than him but every little thing she will call the man and demand money for it even if it is pen or pencil for the kids.

I have also seen a man that married an uneducated woman , as soon as she came she started selling roadside rice and ofe akwu , today she is building a two story building for her family and the man even later lost his job.

Everything na prayer. Just pray make you marry a good woman.

Yeah, we know the race doesn't always go to the swiftest, and the strongest doesn't always win the wrestling match, but you don't bet based on that.
You don't marry an uneducated woman in hopes she'll start selling ofe akwu and build you two-story building!

CHIEFCHICKEN:
Deep
I am going to frame this

How many times will u say it? U ok?

Justicepluto:
I dont check those, but its quite a number..
From the moment i meet her my spending was out of pure intent.
Kindly remove the quote pls i intend to delete..

He never removed the quote, heartless guy.
Here it is:

Justicepluto:
Life is like a two-sided coin.

Three years ago, I met a young woman fresh out of NYSC. When we started dating, she told me she had graduated with first-class honors and was exceptionally intelligent. Impressed by her potential, I began supporting her in every way I could. I encouraged her to pursue her ICAN certification and provided financial help, even though I was struggling myself. At one point, I had to ask her to stop making random financial demands, assuring her that I would always support her when it was truly necessary.

For the first two years, as she grew professionally, I focused on building our future. My dream was for us to travel together after our first year of marriage. She was indeed brilliant, intelligent, and hardworking, which only fueled my commitment.

By our third year, we had seen significant progress: we acquired lands and a car. But amid this growth, one persistent issue overshadowed everything, the lack of basic respect. She never respected me the way I respected her. I held her in such high regard that I even tempered my sexual energy around her. During intimate moments, I often appeared subdued so as not to overwhelm her, especially since early in our relationship, she had mentioned that sex was painful for her.

One day, during a disagreement, we went out to resolve our issues. In the middle of our conversation, she abruptly stood up and left. I was stunned but swallowed my pride. After talking to her about it, she repeated this behavior during another attempt to settle things this time, I took her phones in frustration, and she snatched mine, even pulling my second phone from my pocket.

I began questioning why she couldn't show me respect. I never hit her, abused her, cheated on her, or shouted at her. Whenever I tried to correct her gently, she would raise her voice to counter me, and I'd stay calm to avoid escalation.

She rarely did any chores when she visited. To be fair, she would cook, but that was it—nothing else. Helping with something as simple as cleaning the toilet seemed like an act of divine intervention. My laundry was never her concern; she could wear my clothes and just leave them for me to wash, as if it were none of her business.

Over time, it became difficult for me to address her behaviors without sparking fights, so I started avoiding those conversations altogether. I even bought several plots of land through her, and her company at the time gave her commissions, yet not once did she ever say "thank you." I overlooked all of it.

Her constant disrespect and eagerness to walk away during conflicts made me realize I needed to test her loyalty. I couldn't pinpoint the issue, as there wasn't a single aspect where I thought I was falling short—and when I asked her, she couldn't name one either. Was it the gifts? The phones? Extending my generosity to her family in small ways? The advice I gave? I was truly confused.

During one argument, she left our shared bed, slept alone, and packed her things the next day.

I decided I had to confirm what was really going on, especially since February 14th was the day I had planned to introduce myself to her family officially. When she later came to apologize, I lied to her that I was a sickle cell patient. She cried, accused me of wasting her years, and left. As she was going, I expressed my interest in her regardless, pleaded with her not to tell anyone, and asked if this was a sacrifice she could make for us—that she should think about it and get back to me.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. At one point, I had sacrificed my job, my source of livelihoodbecause her actions had triggered me so deeply. We met again later, and I begged her not to walk away. I promised everything: adoption, sperm donation, IVF. She refused, saying the money we could save and channel into other things shouldn't be wasted.

This was a woman who, in our three years together, had never done anything for me or my family financially. I borrowed money from her when times were tough and repaid it almost immediately. She earned well currently in the hundreds of thousands but never once had she given me even 5,000 naira as a gift. The first and last time she gave me any money was for a hospital bill, and it was 10,000 naira. Yet here she was, complaining about wasting money.

I laughed it off inwardly as she left and sent her belongings after making sure she asked for them. Weeks later, her mother called me as usual to ask about our issues. Because of her daughter's pride, her mom would rather intervene to settle things than her make any genuine efforts to show she was sorry. I felt there was no point discussing it, if her daughter's pride and ego weren't in the way, she would have stepped up to make amends herself, rather than involving her mom.

Now, I'm starting over. This time, it's not about who's the most successful or intelligent, but about finding someone who will stand by you when the chips are down—someone willing to make sacrifices, even when it's uncomfortable for them.

Many highly intelligent and working-class women remain single or end up divorced for a reason. Some are married but face similar challenges. Ultimately, it's about recognizing your potential and finding someone who will stand by you to achieve it.

In the end, she was stuck in a fantasy shaped by her past relationships, which I don't want to write about. In the end, everyone will be happy.

N.b
I couldn't type everything i overlooked and endured but i am glad it's a fresh start..

pocohantas:
You are a very wise and positive man.
I pray she continies her role dutifully because it is not every woman that is career-oriented. They just need to state it clearly and be with men who don't mind such wives.

But as you can see, they didn't state anything clearly at all in any of the cases. So what is your advice in such scenarios?

honour8:
What ever you do, don't leave your wife oh, the day you do, the day you will see and know the true meaning of suffer. Sorry to break it to you but all the things you said point to one thing, your wife is likely what we usually call an Ogbanje. If they, love you dem done done love you, things will be going well for you. They will continue to support you spiritually and you will think all your success is yours, do you know how many people graduated with first class in Nigeria or how many software developer there are, guy if you think I am lying ask a spiritual man, they will tell you. How you go expect person wey done carry her lucky charm join your own make e serious for work again.

Another thing that made me say that is that abroad stuff, the source of her power is in Nigeria, that is why she is discouraging you from travelling bet it if you too push her she will ask you to go, even with the children but she will stay behind, this is because they cannot leave far away from their source.

You are lucky you brought this here if not Oyo would have been your future. You will leave her and she will still find another man and the man will be very successful while you will fall flat. You go wonder, except you want make another person train your children.

Africans and superstition! It has kept us ever backwards yet we never learn!
You do realize there is no proof whatsoever for all you have said, just that it sounds good. I'm sure in a country of millions you can't count up to 5 people who went from rich to poor because they left an unambitious, lazy, "ogbanje" lady and married an ambitious, hardworking lady!

BUT, whatever you believe rules you

MERCHANDISER:
But there is sit at home in Abia,Enugu and Imo

Maybe here and there but nothing close to like before. The idea is to kill it completely

lenghtinny:
Dude you really need stop

There’s no example you are going to cite that will make it make sense….

Can you handle the drama that comes with being with a high mileage woman….

If you want princes and princess so bad, you can go for other princesses too

Being a princess does not make her better than the girls that stands on Allen avenue as long as she does what they do

Dtruthspeaker:
It is obvious that you do not know that there is nothing like FORMER. That number always increases until she has a sickness that stops her.

See below

lenghtinny:
Who says she’s the only one that can light your fire

It’s a no-brainer

She's the one you've met, and likely the only one you'll meet in this lifetime. That's how life works. Hence you see men who can never replace their wives that died decades ago - when there are millions of women in the world!

BlakKluKluxKlan:
Me gay ?
Even if person take am swear for me e no govwork !

That was the thrust of my comment.
How can Ike means nyansh yet his name is Ikechukwu ?

Is there no one who can tell me the meaning of Ike ?

U r calling your fellow man "my queen". I dey look u one kind

SpaceX:
He bought the milk so he has every right to use it, my wife can never try this with me or else I will show her the door, I'm a alpha male.....

Alpha male on Nairaland!

Judolisco:
haha..but u guys swore dis sit at home stuff is voluntary and that south east is peaceful

Whomever told you that is full of beans. Igbos love to go out and make their money. They'd never voluntarily sit at home. They'd find another way to protest

BlakKluKluxKlan:
.


Ah ? My queen ?
Are you sure ? I think not.

Did you notice his name is
Ikechukwu ?
Chukwu's.....?

Come again, please.
You forgot..
Obasi ?

U gay?
Chukwu means God. Ike means nyash. Are you saying it means God's... doesn't make any sense

Phoen1X:
We shall "sit at home" come next Monday,,, it's our collective duty to keep the injustice of kanu's continued incarceration alive ,, victory will be ours,,,no matter how pyrrhic.

You and who will be sitting at home?
You'll be sitting at home all by yourself while people go about their businesses!

gennny:
One of the primary duties of any government is to provide security, not using her citizens as a bait. You can't ask your sons to stand armed men, but you'll first pay security or arm your boys fight them.

Which armed men?? OTHER PLACES ARE OPEN!!!
Get that into your head. There were no armed men waiting only at main market to kill people!

https://www.nairaland.com/8609879/ignore-february-2-sit-at-home-order

bigpicture001:
It's a pity that one of his sons who studied business administration in the US and is wasteful, knowing the old man is now weak, mobilized a family pressure meeting to encourage him to hand over the riegns of diamond bank to him to manage..

He refused. but after much pressure from evryone and a seemingly first hand experience he allegedly got through his deputized Yoruba guy who leads the bank effectively on his behalf.. he believed the young man..

The young man instead went into flamboyant lifestyle , failed to constantly monitor the banks other executives and ran the bank amock..

The bank was flagged by the CBN for instability, he caution his son ND tried to bright back his fmr assistance who refused to come back.. he fought foot and nail to get the bank to be healthy again



Yes , he succeeded, but it was during Emefiele era, yes, during wigwe the connection man era.. their eyes were already on his bank to take over. Meaning, no matter what he does, he will b ordered to sell the bank
.

He painfully sold the bank he created from scratch and cried in a national t. V show... Wigwe the connection man bought it over straight and expanded access..

His careless son then delved into the then emerging fin tech world and created the fintech bank "carbon" which didnt also fly..

He was paid the enourmous value of his bank.. but that is not what he wanted.. he wanted a dynasty...

It is almost certain that wigwe will die someway or the other.. he broke alot of heart with his connections..

Also his heartbreaking forceful purchase of intercontinental bank.. using emir sanusi..

Wigwe hurt alot of people and so u know his end will come sooner rather than later

Didn't hurt more people than Tinubu, and didn’t kill anybody like Tinubu. But Tinubu is alive and president (though falling down all over the place ). So it is not by hurting people

BlakKluKluxKlan:
What is the meaning of -

Ike

Obasi

I want to find out something.

Ike means nyash. So Ike Obasi means Obasi's nyash. Igbos in the house can correct me, but I know I'm right

gennny:
So if you're in those areas where terrorists have full grip, you'll challenge them without guns?

No, but the government can challenge them and that's exactly what the govt is doing. Notice how they issued order that people should open their shops and it failed!
Not when everyone is disobeying sit-at-home and nothing is happening to them and you insist on locking main market on Mondays!

Tinubu's chief of thugs

Prince16:
Precisely.
But if u want use agidi dey claim 'right' dem go show u premium shege!

Court Cases against govt na like land case - e fit last multiple generations. It's even worse sef onto say if the govt wey u get case with don vacate the seat of power, na O.Y.O d person dey.

😅
Very true

duduade:
This lawyer no get serious matters at hand
Awọn charge and bail

No, they have a good case against Soludo. Let's wait and see what the courts say

Prince16:
Has he been paid??
There's difference btw winning in court and being paid.

I can bet it that your uncle is yet to be paid,.......and won't be paid!

Those that did contract job for govt sef, how many of them have gotten their money, talkless of the ones wey carry govt go court!

If you kick back some of the money to insiders, govt will pay

Arabk25:
You get the point now. So you see its very difficult to fight the government without lobbying insiders to smooth the work for you that was exactly what played out

Right. Give the right people sone of the money and government will pay you

gennny:
You sound very illogical, Anambra is under seige by unknown gun men, Soludo uses over 20 car escorts, then... He's asking the traders to come out knowing the danger. The Chairman of Ngbuka Market (Spare Parts Market), opened the market, and got killed, what has Soludo done for his family?

I prefer to stay back home, just rest from the weekly hustle. If he wanted to understand the people, he'll simply run a referendum to know what he wants.

So what is your solution? People must be killed for this sort of thing to end.
If someone tells you not to go to work or he'll kill you, what will you do?

soil4soil:
Where was the lawyer when IPOB declared every Monday as sit at home. He didn't sue them but when someone is fighting a good course he now says he is suing the government.

Why do they like to lie to themselves like this, Or is telling us that IPOB are powerful than an elected government ni.

They did the right thing. The right thing is to sue. Rather than running around like hooligans shouting "show me the law" à la MNK

Arabk25:
Paid in full though he's very powerful and influential and a billionaire in naira already so it's was easier for him to fight the government compare to who has only money and no government backup

Plus people in government probably collected part of the money as bribe in order to pay it without endless appeal