₦airaland Forum

I sm a Christian but I think this is a rather poor angle from which to attack atheism. Is religion the source of human empathy, evolutionary social instincts, reasoning, and shared cultural agreements??
Humans are social animals. Compassion and a basic instinct to avoid causing pain are natural traits that help groups survive and cooperate.
Communities create rules snd social contracts —such as laws against theft or harm—because life works better when people agree to respect each other. Personal values also come from culture, upbringing, family, education, history, and the surrounding society, which have evolved long before and alongside organized religion!

uvincent2:
She's not a good person. If she is, ask urself y is she the one looking for a husband @41

Ayo8:
The focused ones get married as soon as they become ready for it... they need not put up advert in search for suitors. Also you dont get to tell if you're a good person or not... people around you get to make an assessment of your behaviour.

So Diezani is not focused and not a good person because she married approaching 39??
Or Linda Ikeji, not married at 45??

franchasng:
I understand you very well, I have a SIL in this situation; very beautiful, good mannered maybe to me as her BIL sha, semi-rich and well traveled, a former banker now residing abroad. One thing I realized is that banking job affects ladies getting married on time in Nigeria from my little observation cos I know like 5 different cute bankers in this situation, some have left the banking sector and now abroad and doing very well but still single cos they missed taking advantage of their prime ages as women.


From my personal observations too, female bankers tend to be overambitious and they set high standard for men they would want to settle with, and because of their obviously high taste and standard in men, they end up meeting mostly married men like us cos before a man attains the height most cute female bankers in Nigeria do desire, such man must have passed age 33 and already married.


My little advice to young female bankers reading this is to be realistic with life, lower your expectations from men, go for some basic vital qualities and trust in God and build with the man, believe me he will still end up financially successful and rich with time. If people like us and some good number of close friends and course mates I know could later become well to do, then every man can with focus, dedication, time and God's mercy.


So I say amen to your prayer, may the good and ever merciful God answer your prayers and grant your heart desires soonest, but try a bit to lower your expectations knowing fully well that you are a Nigerian and a woman in 2026 when things have changed with women now having more opportunities to make it financially than men compared to 20, 30, 40 years ago. Wishing you and other expectant ladies Godspeed and favor.

Thanks for the narrative and thank you very much for your good wishes and advice. But it is just like me telling you to marry a lady you fundamentally don't find attractive (just example) because time is running out. What do you think will be fate of such marriage??

emmyN:
I disagree. Hypergamy is learned selfishness and it was enabled by men.

So polygamy is also learned, enabled by women? These things are in-bred from nature otherwise a wealthy woman will happily marry her manservant as men marry their maids or salesgirls!

Omoawoke:
Very good, I hope the universe bless you with a very good man, a good home and good life.

You too my dear, you too!

Omoawoke:
Good! so would you submit to a good man?

That's my dream. A man I can happily submit to. Not some guy very below me!

How does that change the fact that Bola's policies have impoverished the common man?

otherway:
There comes a time when a lady drops the hypergamy shiit

Not me. I will NEVER settle for anyone very below me. Either the universe gives me my equal or gives me someone higher. It is not me that made myself hypergamous!

Your video/write-up is truly hypocritical. Just one example, Adam had no knowledge of good from evil, did not even know he was naked, yet he was supposed to outsmart a wise, cunning serpent, and that after he clearly saw his wife eat the fruit and not die but instead became wise. Not only that, it was already known this was what he'll do, like, destiny. And after he did it instead of giving him a warning as a first-time offender who knew no better, not only was he punished but his entire generations!

yaroinsiders:
Trust is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship.

But sometimes, changes in a partner’s behaviour can leave someone wondering whether there is another person involved.

It is important to remember that no single sign proves a partner is talking to someone else. People can become distant for many reasons, including work stress, family problems or personal struggles.

However, certain changes may be worth paying attention to.

They suddenly become secretive with their phone

Most people value privacy.

But if your partner suddenly starts hiding their screen, changing passwords frequently or taking calls in private when they never used to, it could raise questions.

A sudden change in behaviour is often more important than the behaviour itself.

Their communication changes

A partner who once replied quickly may suddenly become unavailable for long periods without explanation.

They may seem distracted during conversations or less interested in talking than before.

They become emotionally distant

When people invest emotional energy elsewhere, they sometimes become less emotionally available in their current relationship.

Full story here: https://yaroinsider.ng/how-to-know-if-your-partner-is-talking-to-someone-else/

OP I'll help you out. Here's the rest of the article:

Conversations become shorter.

Affection decreases.

The connection starts to feel different.

They are always online but slow to respond

Many people notice this sign first.

You see your partner active on social media or messaging apps, but your messages go unanswered for hours.

While this alone proves nothing, a consistent pattern can create concerns.

They become defensive over simple questions

If asking normal questions about their day suddenly leads to irritation or arguments, something may have changed.

Defensiveness does not automatically mean guilt, but it can signal discomfort.

They compare you to someone else

A partner who frequently talks about a particular person, praises them excessively or compares you to them may be revealing where their attention is focused.

Their routine changes without explanation

New habits, unexplained outings or frequent absences can sometimes create suspicion, especially when reasonable explanations are not provided.

They show less interest in the relationship

One of the strongest warning signs is a noticeable drop in effort.

They stop planning activities together.

They show less affection.

They seem less interested in your life and feelings.

What should you do?

Avoid rushing to conclusions based on suspicion alone.

Instead of spying, accusing or checking phones secretly, have an honest conversation.

Ask questions calmly.

Listen carefully.

A healthy relationship depends on communication and trust, not assumptions.

Conclusion

The biggest clue is often not a single action but a pattern of changes over time.

If your partner’s behaviour has changed significantly, it is worth discussing your concerns openly.

The goal should not be to catch someone doing something wrong but to understand what is happening in the relationship and whether both people remain committed to it.

Sunkab:
Isaiah 4:1 said it all...

Isaiah 4:11 will never happen in Nigeria because gradually the social disgrace of being unmarried will eventually disappear as it has totally disappeared in places like the African American community

Ayo8:
"Nice woman" na him she no see person marry her...?? Men are not fools

Diezani got married approaching 39 (see below). Is it because she is a bad person??

shegztech:
Funny enough there are women who have lived decent lives and are still unmarried. I have seen notorious club girls and abortionists marry early. Many times its never the case of waywardness. Just destiny
Growing up, I knew one aunty who married as A VIRGIN at almost 40. Very friendly aunty. Just destiny

Voila!

LegitGirl:
I know a few ladies like the one you described, too. All sisters. And a brother.

Very decent. Virgins. Well mannered. Homely. God-fearing.

But they were raised very strictly. By parents with uniquely high standards.

Normal people will struggle to adjust to their standards.

That's why they're all not married. They're perfectionists, in a way.

No mind them

eagleonearth:
Any humble and marriageable lady do not cross 30 before getting married unless she is a single mother. Go and verify!

Are you saying Diezani (below) was not marriageable?

Ayexx1111:
What has she been doing before now, so she just woke up to know that menopause is coming.... mumu 🤣🤣🤪🤪🤪

Sometimes it is not like that at all. Some of us are so focused on career and achieving and being controlled by our hypergamy (getting a man more ambitious and accomplished than us) that by the time we look up... time flies... it was like only yesterday she was 25!

Omoawoke:
To the stubborn upcoming feminists

Hope you learning

You either submit today for free or you pay men and still submit in future

Submission can only be delayed, it cannot be denied

There is nothing to learn. I will NEVER settle for anyone very below me. Either the universe gives me my equal or someone higher. It is not me that made myself hypergamous!

tollyboy5:
It’s not true. Women don’t look for who is as successful as they are. They look for who is more successful than they are.
All the best for everyone

Isn't that what I said? Nature made us that way and you can't fight nature!

Ayo8:
"Nice woman" na him she no see person marry her...?? Men are not fools

Sometimes it is not like that at all. Some of us are so focused on career and achieving and being controlled by our hypergamy (getting a man more ambitious and accomplished than us) that by the time we look up... time flies... it was like only yesterday she was 25!

manmade:
it's a matter of time, the benefit will soon round bro

No it won't, not the way it is structured. It is like saying the benefits of floating the Naira will soon round. The elite people it benefited already benefited while it impoverished the common man in Nigeria and they have stayed
poorer from it till now.

helinues:
Oya let's be sincere, who do you think is a better alternative to president Tinubu?

Anybody that is not in APC. When APC (Tinubu) came in 2015 the common man was much better off. Tinubu's reforms while somewhat successful simply have not trickled down to the common man.
We'er now experiencing an oil price windfall but the common man is suffering

ExudeLoveToAll:
That lady has received more than 10 proposals, if she can look presentable in her 40s imagine her in her 20 to 24 when she received her highest interest from men, but the usual story is he is not rich enough . She is only changing because men no longer come her way, this is one lesson some women learn when they age.

Believe me, even now she's still choosy. We are hypergamous by nature and that comes above everything else.
When she says man she doesn't mean just any man. She'd rather be second wife of that type of man she has in mind than first wife of a man "below" her

helinues:
Are you aware that Nigeria Nollywood ( All packed together ) have received N5bn for whatever?

What has this to do with the fact APC people have tried and now it is time for them to go?

helinues:
Only if that can reflect on the real poll not online poll

APC and Tinubu have tried but it is time for them to go and rest...
But I know that won't happen... too many powerful people will get hurt if Tinubu loses... it is NOT just about him!

Bahamas95:
A desperate woman can do anything to get what she wants, once she gets it the contract is over.


A family friend is presently in that situation now, we all warned him but he didn't listen.

Sometimes it is not like that at all. Some of us are so focused on career and achieving and on getting a man equally as ambitious and accomplished that by the time we look up... time flies... it was only yesterday she was 25...

Bahamas95:
Avoid this kinda woman if you want to live long.

😅😂🤣
Why??
Is she not a woman? May actually be a nice person

Hypergamy! Hypergamy!! HYPERGAMY!!!
That's our unbreakable law as women!
So, no mind am. She's looking for a certain kind of man, NOT just man!

ExudeLoveToAll:
That's if one is doing well financially, you can take care if bills around you, provide basic necessities for yourself and family. For a job seeker who is looking for job to no avail relocating to somewhere that can give him job can't be quantified. Nigeria is only sweet when you have money, the environment is laid back and relaxing.

The mistake lies in assuming that japa will automatically give you a good, non-soul-crushing job. Many folks in the land you're japaing to are unemployed for a reason!

femi4:
I would still japa, infact would have done it early

ALL Nigerians would, except the richest
SHAME!

Difrent:
The UK built its wealth on the exploitation of its colonies
India for instance was far richer than UK when it began colonizing it, after plundering India for 200 years they left India the poorst nation on earth
These western colonial masters thought they can eat their cake and still have it
They plunder a country and wonder why its wretched and poor citizens are looking for asylum in their developed western nations
For every action there is equal and opposites reaction

LIE.
Like Nigeria, they left India a relatively enjoyable place. Like Nigeria, Indians themselves ran their country to the ground. If the British were in charge of Nigeria till today, there'd have been no civil war, and if you're corrupt YOU GO TO JAIL!!!
Our courts, schools, police, hospitals, etc will not be how they are now!

Didi2d:
Outskirts for Nigeria, na boko and fulani bandit get there

Outskirts over there na somebody get am too. And that somebody may not particularly like the idea of a stinking Nigerian living on their land!

Didi2d:
Any American or European country that I can live in the outskirts, I will be so grateful.
That's the kind of place I want to live the rest of my life

So you don't want money, you just want to live in outskirts. But they have outskirts in Nigeria too

Suicideboy:
Because nigerians abroad are edter into drugs or fraud.

It is the economy that leads them to that. If things were easier they won't go into fraud and drugs

Immatex:
Like, he needs reminding!

Japanese wahala feed to us by force, like we care!

And the way he's just saying it
Na wa!😅

Japanese government??
In case you haven't noticed this is a Nigerian forum!

It all depends on where u Japa'd to and your circumstances there. Almost every country has Nigerians in jail and some even worse (unalived!)