RAPE IS NOT COZY: A TRUE LIFE ENCOUNTER: By: Olumide Gabriel Olugbemi

I have agonised these past days whether to share this personal experience with the world or not.

Yesterday, my courage failed me because I was wary of attacks from a horde out there that has displayed crass insensitivity to the issues of rape and sexual violence against women in our society.

But I'm no longer afraid. I need to tell this story to signpost the grave and varied complications and implications of sexual assault on violated bodies. It is my belief that by sharing this story (publicly for the second time - yesterday was the first time at a gathering of alumni of my alma mater) of personal encounter with a victim of rape, I would be helping a society in denial to come to terms with the ubiquitous nature of rape and its high prevalence in homes, schools, religious centres, private and public spaces, and even within legitimate boundaries of relationships. More importantly, it is my intention to upend and vitiate the often-mouthed nonsensical response of naysayers, who have chorused (in the case of Busola Dakolo) and who always chorus, "Why is she just coming out?", to rationalise rape, parry focus away from the rapist, shame the victims and completely silence them.

She walked into my office with others shortly after an exhilarating and pulsating class/dramatic presentations by fresh students (100 level). While others, some of them her group members, debated the merits and demerits of their presentations, she kept eerily quiet; she was in a wall of herself. Being an observant person, I noticed her deliberate isolation of self and a foreboding that something I couldn't place was ominous about her. Prior to that particular encounter, we had forged a relationship strictly within the binary of teacher-student. In fact, I had taken a liking to her because she epitomised the qualities of a well trained child (qualities which are hard to come by these days). More so, she's the possessor of a creative mind, codified in unpublished poems she'd shared with me.

After the last student left my office that warm evening, I quickly turned my focus on her.

"Aisha, are you okay?" I asked with genuine concern.

I didn't imagine what happened next. She broke down in tears, wrecking and rocking from its effect. Momentarily, I was numbed with unfeigned fear and concern, but I managed to usher her to a seat and, offered her both tissue paper and privacy to cry. For twenty or more minutes, she cried like a bereaved child. It was a helpless situation and there was nothing I could do but wait.

After what seemed like eternity, she managed between sobs to open up to me.

Aisha was raped at the age of six by her father's best friend in their own house. Her father is a big Imam in one of Nigeria's biggest cities. The rapist, a pious and religious man in the rank of her father, brutally raped her and blackmailed her into silence.

From that moment, she became withdrawn and lived in fear, wrecked by the trauma of the sexual assault she suffered in the hands of a respected personality.

"Why choose that day to tell me or anyone for the first time?"

It was an involuntary reaction to an event which had earlier played out in class that day. During one of the drama presentations for the day, a group had presented a skit with a rape scene. That was the catalyst. That scene triggered a recall of painful memories buried deep inside a hurting and traumatised body.

With empathy and rage, I demanded to know the steps she took to out the rapist and get justice.

Her painful tears told the rest of the story.

"Who will believe me sir?"
"How do I tell Alhaji or my mum?"
"I was terrified"
"Mr Olumide, I was a child"

Aisha opened up to me (the first person she told of her rape), when was 18 years old and a varsity undergraduate. May be this would give some of the guys rationalising rape with the cliché, "Why is she just telling her story?", a clear picture of how traumatising and damaging rape is for victims.

I'm close to Aisha's family. Both parents call me at intervals and I physically met her mum once. I serve as her guardian in school. They run everything about her through me. But they're in dark about the darkness in which their beloved daughter live.

Sadly, Aisha is struggling academically. A brilliant girl who's constantly unable to translate what's in her brain to good grades. She suffers panic attacks. In the exam hall, no matter her level of preparation and sacrifices, she has the habit of shutting down almost completely at times. She would just go blank. Many of her friends and my colleagues cannot come to terms with how a girl who writes beautiful poems is struggling so badly academically. But I know why.

Poetry is her escape. Poetry is her therapy. Poetry is the only thing that listens to her without blaming and judging her.

So you can go ahead and shame Busola and other women telling their stories of abuse, just because those who abused them are your pastors, imams, husbands, brothers, friends, and paddies.

But I will tell you again. Rape is not cozy, and it is more common and rampant than you have ever imagined in our society.

Note: I share this story with every sense of caution, circumspection and responsibility. The story is real, but the name is not.

Olumide Olugbemi-Gabriel

Apeshy101 you're a bad nigga

@Bucajunior what's the name of this German juice ooo?

Please kindly forward product catalogue for the kiln and prices to deleadebukola@gmail.com

Wonderful thread I must say. Keep it up

Do you have an office in Lagos where one can visit?

[quote author=Tetehjewels post=79386925]

I have businesses in Ghana so live there off and on. Its a great place to make legitimate money quickly if you have the capital for investment. Just save up the money made back home here in Nigeria and it would be similar to the speed of making money in USA.

Whites and black Americans, British, Canadians, Russians etc are everywhere in Ghana and you can even find them in so called remote villages there.

Only lazy Nigerians or the criminally minded Nigerians would claim Ghana is hard.

My Children school in Ghana and their level of Brilliance always amazes me. Ghana being a majorly tourist nation is focused on keeping a good image and order and it works.

What kind of business can one do with 5million Naira in Ghana?

alexvic12:


There are some small countries that don't require so much for a visa but only ask you to invest around $500 in their economy and you'd be allowed to move in and settle. You'll find your feet in no time. You can Google "countries that require less for visa" or *10 easiest countries to migrate to"

Let me also add, please don't give your money to all these scammers that promise to work visa for you. They will leave you in pains.
Good luck ma, may God make way for all of us.

500 dollars?

You spent 8 years in Chelsea but scored only 2 goals.



True but Mike played defensive midfield in Chelsea and anyone playing in that position hardly scores and not expected to score but rather to defend and give stability to the team, which Mikel did so well. Stop criticizing him for not scoring pls... Jorginho is doing worse than Mikel in that position right now.

How much is 5ltr?

It's not being aired on super sport... Painful

I went straight to where the countries that their name start with letter "N" , to see if Nigeria is part of the countries.



BUT, was disappointed.

I am disappointed that you were disappointed bro

Nanagom:
So the husband left her and the kids and ran away to France? Such an Husbandman.

Please who has worked with TLS before, I need review before I start working with them.

I worked there before though as a security officer but it's a good place to work. Don't go against the rules, be loyal to the VAC manager and don't get involved in any shady deals. Leave no room for suspicion. Just build ur cv there and use the opportunity to enter UK and return.

Interested

Good development

How much pls?

Following... You're making sense better person... I know some people will be thinking in their minds that you are building poor man houses but bro/sis don't mind them ooo... All fingers are not equal... Continue pls

What is your opinion?

Justice Zainab Bulkachuwa, the President of the Court of Appeal and Chairman of the 2019 Presidential Election Petition Tribunal is not qualified to head the Tribunal. Reports have it that she is an interested party and she is highly compromised #RescueNigeria‬

‪Justice Zainab Bulkachuwa is the wife of Adamu Mohammed Bulkachuwa, who is currently a Senator elect, on the platform of the ruling All Progressive Congress (APC). Adamu Mohammed Bulkachuwa is a Senator Elect, representing Bauchi North Senatorial District at the National Assembly. ‬#RescueNigeria

‪There are also reports that President Muhammadu Buhari and his Party, the All Progressive Congress (APC), deliberately ceded the Bauchi North Senatorial ticket to Mohammed Bulkachuwa in order to use him to influence his wife, who the APC believed will head the 2019 Presidential Election Petition Tribunal. #RescueNigeria ‬

‪It has been revealed that President Buhari and the APC, planned a total and complete infiltration of the judiciary before the 2019 General Elections, by removing Justice Walter Onnoghen as Chief Justice of the Federation and deliberately making Justice Bulkachuwa’s husband a Senator in order to influence her decision at the upcoming Presidential Tribunal. #RescueNigeria ‬

‪We have also been made aware that the APC has ordered the Bulkachuwas to trash all Appeals of the PDP, emanating from the NASS and Governorship Elections Tribunals in favour of the ruling APC as seen in the ruling of Appeal Court today on the Osun Guber Election. #RescueNigeria ‬

‪More revelations show that Justice Zainab Bulkachuwa was also mentioned in a secret memo submitted to President Buhari by the Directorate of States Services (DSS). In that memo, the DSS described Justice Bulkachuwa as “incurably corrupt”. #RescueNigeria ‬

‪The DSS in that secret memo to President Buhari also accused Justice Bulkachuwa of engaging in bribery and taking kickbacks from judges she assigned to lucrative and juicy cases. #RescueNigeria ‬

‪Justice Bulkachuwa is therefore an interested Party, accused of corruption & is therefore not competent to chair the 2019 Presidential Election Petition Tribunal. She should recuse herself immediately as her membership of the panel will render the panel invalid, biased and partisan. #RescueNigeria

Does this 8k include tfare and purchase of keg?

How much is the total amount? And from the pictures above, it's a shared building right?

How much is a 25ltrs palm oil now?

How much pls?

500k nkan?

My fear is that the chairmen themselves are another class of corrupt individuals. We are most likely going to start witnessing them building palaces in Abuja in an event this succeeds. Nevertheless, it is our hope they apply the funds specifically to what they are meant for.

Just a little project here and there is what Nigerians are asking for. We are the least demanding citizens in this world if you ask me but our politicians are just too lazy and corrupt to meet even the tiniest of demands.

So unfortunate.


You are right but this will enable the people in each local government to directly monitor the allocation and also hold their leaders accountable.

I'm with you. I've been doing small export for a while but it's through friends traveling abroad who do help me to convey food items to my mother in law for sale.

08063837797

For pre mature Ejaculation, what remedy do you have for it that doesn't have side effects?

Matthew 5 v 17-20 - King James Version;

17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.



Bro, look at those part of the scriptures I bolded. Now bear in the mind the following;

1) When Jesus said that, the Laws of Moses was still in active force, it was not yet fulfilled by the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus i.e. His crucifixion and eventual resurrection.

2) After Jesus had fulfilled the Law, His followers are not bound by the Law of Moses.


This topic you're bringing actually caused a controversy in the early church which was resolved in Acts 15.

I suggest you read up Acts 15



Acts
Chapter 15
1 And certain men which came down from Judaea taught the brethren, and said, Except ye be circumcised after the manner of Moses, ye cannot be saved.
2 When therefore Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and disputation with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas, and certain other of them, should go up to Jerusalem unto the apostles and elders about this question.
3 And being brought on their way by the church, they passed through Phenice and Samaria, declaring the conversion of the Gentiles: and they caused great joy unto all the brethren.
4 And when they were come to Jerusalem, they were received of the church, and of the apostles and elders, and they declared all things that God had done with them.
5 But there rose up certain of the sect of the Pharisees which believed, saying, That it was needful to circumcise them, and to command them to keep the law of Moses.
6 And the apostles and elders came together for to consider of this matter.
7 And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe.
8 And God, which knoweth the hearts, bare them witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as he did unto us;
9 And put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith.
10 Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear?
11 But we believe that through the grace of the LORD Jesus Christ we shall be saved, even as they.
12 Then all the multitude kept silence, and gave audience to Barnabas and Paul, declaring what miracles and wonders God had wrought among the Gentiles by them.
13 And after they had held their peace, James answered, saying, Men and brethren, hearken unto me:
14 Simeon hath declared how God at the first did visit the Gentiles, to take out of them a people for his name.
15 And to this agree the words of the prophets; as it is written,
16 After this I will return, and will build again the tabernacle of David, which is fallen down; and I will build again the ruins thereof, and I will set it up:
17 That the residue of men might seek after the Lord, and all the Gentiles, upon whom my name is called, saith the Lord, who doeth all these things.
18 Known unto God are all his works from the beginning of the world.
19 Wherefore my sentence is, that we trouble not them, which from among the Gentiles are turned to God:
20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.
21 For Moses of old time hath in every city them that preach him, being read in the synagogues every sabbath day.
22 Then pleased it the apostles and elders, with the whole church, to send chosen men of their own company to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas; namely, Judas surnamed Barsabas, and Silas, chief men among the brethren:
23 And they wrote letters by them after this manner; The apostles and elders and brethren send greeting unto the brethren which are of the Gentiles in Antioch and Syria and Cilicia:
24 Forasmuch as we have heard, that certain which went out from us have troubled you with words, subverting your souls, saying, Ye must be circumcised, and keep the law: to whom we gave no such commandment:
25 It seemed good unto us, being assembled with one accord, to send chosen men unto you with our beloved Barnabas and Paul,
26 Men that have hazarded their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
27 We have sent therefore Judas and Silas, who shall also tell you the same things by mouth.
28 For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things;
29 That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.
30 So when they were dismissed, they came to Antioch: and when they had gathered the multitude together, they delivered the epistle:
31 Which when they had read, they rejoiced for the consolation.
32 And Judas and Silas, being prophets also themselves, exhorted the brethren with many words, and confirmed them.
33 And after they had tarried there a space, they were let go in peace from the brethren unto the apostles.
34 Notwithstanding it pleased Silas to abide there still.
35 Paul also and Barnabas continued in Antioch, teaching and preaching the word of the Lord, with many others also.
36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the LORD, and see how they do.
37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.
38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.
39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;
40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.
41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches.

The Laws of Moses no longer serves as a standard for Christians to follow.

There is a new covenant that has replaced the old covenant.

A man led by the spirit of God is not bound by the Law. A man led by the Spirit of God can do no wrong.


Let us learn to study the scriptures in context.

Has Jesus fulfilled the Law? Yes or No... if He has, does the Mosaic Law still serves as the standard for Christians to adhere to?

Is it Jesus you want to follow or is it Judaism you want to practice?

Read Matthew Chapter 5 vs 17 to 20. There you will get clearer answers to your questions.

I'm following, very interested

@solowit, I'm sure you didn't read the message or rather, you read the message but didn't understand the subject matter.

For record sake, the main reason for this message is to encourage Christians to study the word of God most especially, Bible. Because it's in the Bible that we can get to know the truth. Sometimes, our pastors don't teach us what Jesus said in His teaches but instead give us what suits them most for their selfish reasons.