₦airaland Forum

Why don't you go to her house and find out what's wrong?

ShirelleBaby: abeg,bros,where shud I apply?in mail or in person

Apply in my office if you're pretty! But be reminded, the queue is long o!

folly65: Hehehehehe
He should take viagra

Nansense!!!

What does it do?

henrinity: Come out plain dude..You are the one and not "he"..how come u knw and have much information about this...
Ma advise,if she wants it then Give it to her before another person does...Then had i known would have been your case.Gbam

Lol. I told you he's a friend or maybe friends don't share issues anymore.
Anyway, thanks for your advice!

Mention: Lol.. Sex ain't everything

I know sex isn't everything but it's important in a relationship!
Anyway, what is your suggestion?

Elantracey: Is it a must?

Is this question for the lady or for the guy?

CertifiedFreak: The grammar(s) still won't get you laid.

lol. Bro, weitin I do u na?

All the children in this thread, get it strapped on your heads that this thread has a focus and should not be derailed! It was not created for comic relief!

A friend of mine confided in me about his inability to make love to his girlfriend!

He has been in a relationship with this beautiful lady for about 2 months now without feeling the texture of the lining of her productive passage!

She had told him from the beginning that the relationship would not involve sex. Though this was unpalatable, he was confident that with time she'd want to have sex with him!

As time went by, she started becoming more interested in him and soon the presence of a chasm was noticed in her heart!

He had utilized every opportunity that presented itself to paint beautiful love and sex scenarios which would create a void and longing in her heart and soon, etched in her heart were beautiful intimate images of both of them!

She became filled with curiosity and a desire to give expression to the pulses of her heart in order to fill the void as her heart keeps flipping through these images! She wants his tool to get busy inside her!

To his surprise, one day, when they were together, she told him that if he wanted to make love to her, she wouldn't resist!

This revelation made something kick and excited between his thighs but only for a short while! Fear and confusion soon enveloped him!

Making love to this lady to whom he feels so attached, is something he desires so much and had worked towards, but it seems his desire pales in comparison with his state of mind!
He's the one now reminding her about her initial desire not to have sex!

He's telling her they should wait, not because he wants it that way, but because he fears that he's raised her expectations of his ability too high and he may perform below her expectations!

He doesn't want her to think low of his ability even if he knows he's very good!
He wants to be that guy whose image she has in her head!
He wants to let her know that his performance is worth his looks!

What should he do?
How can he change the way he feels now? Your suggestions are welcome.

Nairaland girls... "Forming" since nairaland started!

Tallesty1: Some comments and mentions on Nland are better over-looked. I wanted to tell him to edith his post but I changed my mind when I saw his mention and how careless and loose he is with words. His churlishness is uncalled for and I hate such unnecessary attacks. So the best option is to ignore such people

Her comment was patronizing after a fashion!

Amazingly beautiful post! Keep it up, @op.

[quote author=Liability][/quote]

jennylove7575: OK what else? She is good looking if she is not good in bed the guy can teach her...if u love someone u will Become blind to their shortcomings or help them to improve.

huh? Just like that?

deneris: it is common these days that in a relationship the first party to say "the words" i love you.. is the "weaker person" or the "mugu" some say that it is self degrading for the lady to say it first, while the male folk on the other hand also find it hard to say.. and i mean in a real relationship not the charades we all have today.Anyways, in my opinion, it shouldn't really matter who says it first.. love isnt something to be hidden it is a beautiful thing and if you're lucky enough to share it with someone you care about, then you should... no holding back.. it also depends on the maturity of your partner.. some would use that as a yardstick to take advantage.. anyways your views please...

You see, people fake this "I love you" so much that it doesn't even mean anything these days!
This is something that should come straight from your heart and you shouldn't even have to struggle to say it. You don't prepare ahead of time to tell your partner "I love you"! Sometimes you're just overwhelmed by emotions and the words just come out!

If I'm in a relationship with a lady and I truely love her, what stops me from telling her those words to make her happy?
It doesn't matter who says them first, but they should really come from the heart!

deneris: or we could be partners

I wouldn't oppose that! ...I'm pretty sure you would make a good partner!

Chocrae: thanks a lot. in regards to your first question, the answer is yes. it is exactly what he wants and made his intentions known when we started dating, no time to mess around, no time to waste, we want our relationship to end in marraige, he clearly said he was ready for marriage, dnt know what went wrong.

You're welcome! @the part in bold.

It's alright; just trace your steps back along the path of your relationship and evaluate the steps you've taken so far, using the little avice you've been given as a guide; allow sometime to pass and see how things play out!

All the best!

deneris: lool STEVE HARVEY u should be relationship councellor

Wow! ...Maybe you would be the first lady to come for my services.

deneris: i also think she should just give him space....perharps the attention n care u are showing is too much... let him call instead.. i know it would be really difficult coz u are totally in love and all... but u have to get on with your life hang out with your oda friends.. the biggest mistake u wld make is tying your happiness to him.. even. when he calls dnt be too quick to ansa like you have been waiting all day.. find something to take your time.. you'll be ok

@the part in bold. Ha, so you're the one who's been advising my friend's lady! I don catch you! It truely keeps a guy thinking, same goes for women!

Chocrae: how though? I don't disturb him, i don't ask him for anything, i let him do his thing anyhow anyway, i don't complain, i don't nag, he has his breathing space. so i don't know what you mean by im overchoking him.

You seem nice!

Anyway, you didn’t answer my first question but I know that’s where you’re taking him to and he’s aware of it,
but he’s not certain if he’s ready to walk that path with you by his side!
It takes two to form a relationship and the both should be pulling in the same direction!

And, I presume, this relationship is more important to you than the previous ones you’ve had, partly because you were younger and could not feel much of the impact of 2,3,4,5 years passing by; you probably were not even ready then to be paired for life!

But, it’s all different now; you’re now a woman; you don’t want to spend another 2,3,4 years building a relationship only to watch it crash on the shores of reality and start all over again!

This is when apprehension and desperation set! You want to do everything to keep your partner, even if it’s at your own detriment!

You visit without invitation; you call every now and then without reciprocation; you make yourself available even when you’re not needed; you cook with your money without thank you; you always want to please without any effort made to please you in return; you make all the sacrifices without your partner reciprocating in a similar manner.

Sooner than later, you’re taken for granted; your desperation is noticed and he feels being trapped and he puts on a defense.
Like everybody has said, create some distance; stop displaying any signs of desperation; talk less when you see him or communicate with him; break appointments by informing him late that you won’t be able to make it.

Since you're very pretty, have confidence in your beauty and ability to attract and make yourself look attractive!
Wish you luck in your relationship!

Melahou: my dear he need some space...you seem to be over choking him
give him a breathing space...try and be seeing him jst once a wk or once in 2wks
and reduce the way you call him on phone for the moment...
then sit back and observe...

The part in bold seems closer to the truth!

jennylove7575: If your boyfriend is cheating on a pretty chick like you, he must be cursed..something is following him from his village...that's all I can say.

Is it all about being pretty? ...Misconception.

jovialebony: pls can someone tell me why my guy always cheat on me irrespective of my sincere heart.?

Don't be slack! Do your work well!

It's a pity!

Chocrae: I started dating this guy a few months ago and we were both crazy about each other, we have done so much together this few months that if feels like we've been together for years, i have met his whole fam, hes met mine and yes we had something good going. he has changed all of a sudden, he gets angry over every little uneccessary things, i do all i can to make sure hes happy all the time but he doesnt notice it, i go out of my way and convinience to make sure hes happy but he does nt do the same, he doesnt show that he cares anymre in anyway. i cnt seem to think about what went wrong or where i went wrong, its very hard to deal with this because i have fallen in love with this guy, my heart is fully involved and don't know what ill do if i lose him. ive never been so scared of losing a guy like that before, i have been in long term relationships, 4 yrs, 5yrs, we break up, im hurt, i move on, but with this guy, its different, i am terrified of losing him. i cry my eyes out everyday because i cnt figure out what is going on with this relation, guys please what do i do? i try to get him to talk but he says hes fine. im scared that he has lost interest in me and wants to break up. im losing my mind and sanity.

Are you ready for marriage? I mean, if he asked you to marry him today would you say yes?

Nairaland ladies, where are you? Identify where you fit in...

Mzflexydeeva: maturity, age, love, jealousy, confidence.......what do they all have in common?

Jealousy in a relationship is an offspring of love; it’s a physical display of the importance you attach to that person with whom you’re in a relationship and the relationship itself! It shows that you weigh heavily with your partner! When you love someone, you want to protect that person and you react when you perceive any threat.

This is where maturity and a little blend of confidence is needed to keep the relationship romantic!
Your maturity enables you to weigh your actions and your confidence reminds you of your strengths and ability to keep your partner interested in you!

In my opinion, age has nothing to do in a relationship—I mean age has nothing to do with love, jealousy, maturity and confidence!

Mzflexydeeva: Would you be with some1 who is jealous or some1 who bottles all the emotions
Do not confuse being jealous with obsession or being possessive.

Show me that you're jealous-- in a mature way!

The streets of nairaland seem to be littered with pieces of broken hearts and I’ve been asking myself, “What could be the contents of these hearts?”

Not all those who complain of heart-breaks are actually heart-broken!
Well, below I’ve outlined four (4) categories of single ladies and what their hearts contain when they are in a relationship. This will give you an idea of the contents of a lady’s broken heart!


1. The primers:
These are the girls who are still wet behind the ears; they have just been introduced into the act their parents engaged in to bring them into existence! Their field of operation is still very much limited and they may still have an affinity to the first guy.

When you approach this type for a relationship the first thing that comes into their minds is how Mr. A treated them; and when they go into a relationship with you, they truly go in with their hearts! To them it’s all about feeling and little or nothing else!

When you break the heart of a girl in this category, you’ve truly broken a heart with love!

2. The dreamers:
The ladies in this category are those who are ready to be wives; they want to start their own families with the man of their dreams!

When you approach a lady in this category for a relationship, the first thing that comes into her mind is marriage!

When you meet her internal standards of a potential husband and she goes into a relationship with you, her dreams become active!

She starts dreaming about the number of kids she’ll have with you, their complexion, how beautiful they’ll look; she starts dreaming about the wedding, how she’ll look in the wedding gown, the pictures she’ll take, the ashebies, where she’ll spend the honeymoon; she starts dreaming about the Mrs. in her name, how she’ll embellish the ‘my’ preceding ‘husband’ when she’s talking with her friends, etc.

When you break the heart of a lady in this category, you know what is involved; shattered dreams and hopes! All her dreams just would turn out to be building castles in the air! You can even see some ladies committing suicide or murder here!

3. The realists:
The ladies that fall within this category are those who are moved by what they see that can give them what they desire!

This type does not experience heart-breaks, because they don’t go into a relationship with their hearts, but with their minds! They separate their hearts from whatever they do!
So when a lady in this category tells you of a heart-break, know what is broken in her mind!

When you approach a lady in this category, the first thing that comes to her mind is “What can this guy do for me?”! She’s only interested in what she can get from you!
When she sees you can meet her needs and she goes into a relationship with you, she starts to milk as much as she can from you while it lasts.

Before she agrees to go into a relationship with you, she’s thought about how she can use you to meet her needs! She’s thought about how you will be paying her rent, her school fees; she’s thought about how you will buy the car she needs, the new phone she wants; she’s thought about the eateries you will be taking her to; she’s thought about the monthly salary (pocket money) you will be giving her; she’s thought about the accounts you’ll open for her and how you’ll be sending money into them, etc.!

You can’t break her heart because she knows it’s a game and she’s into it with her calculator, her mind!


4. The hustlers:
This last category you all know them; they are strictly business on pay as you go bases! You don’t tell them about relationships. Just show them your id card (money) as you approach them!

These set of ladies can’t be heart-broken because they don’t use hearts!

So, single ladies, which category do you belong?

If it looks like pear, smells like pear, tastes like pear and refreshes like pear then it's Pear! #Team Pear! ...Abeg, give me pear mek i chop!

priscaoge: Sometimes, a girl is scared to get back into a relationship with someone, Not because she's sick and tired of guys or think
they're all the same, But because she's afraid of many things.
*She's afraid of putting herself in a vulnerable position again.
*She's afraid of opening up to
someone new again.
*She's afraid of getting attached to someone again.
*She's afraid of being lied
to and being betrayed again.
*She's afraid of finding out truths and secrets again.
*She's afraid of having
high expectations just to be
disappointed again.
*She's afraid of feeling
jealousy towards someone again.
*She's afraid of her trust
issues acting up again.
*She's afraid of her insecurities overwhelming her again.
*She's afraid of her
mind assuming the worst again.
*She's afraid of her heart
getting broken again.
*Worst of all, she's afraid
of losing someone again
Because everyone she cares
about, seems to eventually
leave her life. True or False?

Nigerian girls don't fall in love anymore! ...The ones that get heart-broken are the ones who came into the relationship, thinking that the guy will marry them in the end!

sammyj49: I find it difficult to tell gals I want to date them...de always tell me am good looking but when ever I try asking dem out..de prefer putting in friend zone...pls wat can I do?

Be a bit smart!