₦airaland Forum

armyofone:
Just make sure you stay with this standard for both families. Your family and hers should have a certain period of time to stay. Never longer - 2 weeks max for your family and hers.

armyofone:
That house is not your house. 'It is our house' not yours!
So that was why you felt cold eh eh ? Smh at all this small and part time "I rich pass you" kinda guys
You did well because they over stayed their welcome but your choice of words showed a different motive! Stop behaving outdated because there is nothing like my house in marriage.
The way you put it sounded the way we thought o.
" it is mine, not their sister's "

Isabellah:
I once dated a Femi, he was all I could want in a man, loving, caring, sweet
Always satisfied me all round.. Showered me with praises ..made me feel like the only woman in the world.

But guess what he still cheated..
Femi Aderibigbe, wherever you are God punish you.

Shallypop:
To the mother of your kids? . May God have mercy on we women. Our reward is in heaven.

ubcandid:
Bro, we all learn lessons in life through different curves and due to the religious effect of unmerited favour in Nnigeria, our thinking has shifted from proactive planning and preparation to luck and "God Dey" factor. When you continue to handle issues with kid gloves while dealing with adults who have a complex mind and thinking faculty, you never can know on whose face the next vomit could be dropped. Of recent my younger brother gave me a shock of my life, I usually love cooking and don't like third party hands involved cos of hygiene.

He is still in school and most times when he comes back he meets food at home which I have cooked already, he would open the pot and dish for himself, one day onward I started noticing that when I am done cooking he doesn't wash the plate and utensils, I ignored this until the last time I said no it must stop coupled with other behaviors, he came back home one weekend hungry and the plates where there, I inquired about it since I left it for the two days he smartly left the house to avoid washing the plates, since he was hungry he went to wash the plate and I cooked beans that Sunday, the young man ate the food two times, on a Sunday and Monday, on Monday evening he dodged eating and washing the plates and utensils, narrow down to Wednesday when he came home I asked him why he left the plates. The young man had the temerity of guts to ask me if it makes sense for me to be leaving plates for him to wash and started dragging that he didnt use the plates left, that the one he used in eating he washed them.

There are some issues you use slap to solve, there are some that would correct your senses and know that the human mind can be wonderful, food I cook with my money without me asking you to pound anything, the stupid boy has been having problems trying to graduate and I was preparing without telling him to shift him to a private uni to do a joined up course for 2-3 years so he can grad. That statement changed me for months now on how I relate with people in general, I have learnt to put my interest first and don't look at what people would say, when he started this attitude at notice from me, I ignored cos if I stopped giving him food and people hear or stop him from the kitchen, the outside world would say he is your blood brother, Na because of ordinary food.

The idea of you don't know tomorrow is messed up from an African view point, people would not want to sacrifice in relationship or treat you with disdain when you are at need first but when they see you at an advantage point they start flocking for help, currently I have a former uni colleague in my house, this is someone who no dey gree make person come I'm house when we were students talk less of bringing babe to his house. We don grad no job, baba dey my house of recent come dey tell me say one girl wan visit make I give am space.

The real me wanted to keep quite but when I remembered what my bro did and the guys action in school then, I told him off, I can't send him out of my house cos I know his situation but I wouldn't give him that comfort , quarter of which he didn't give others when he was just a student in a self con.

This life is yours, nobody would live it for you, most people are parasites that are only after where they can feed without adding anything to you. They look at how they had money in the past, albeit gotten through crude means or an over pampering parents and when they see you with cash they feel you should spend as they did or money comes to you the way it came to them, guys go one book babe for party, dey tell you say make we go flex, a dime dem no get, when them get, dem go change circle dey form for you.....

The OP is a man and knows the challenges before him, people should work to put themselves at prime position because when you are at the mercy of someone, you are a beggar to that person and can't dictate a course, so if saving $1 now for the future against feeding or disposing to relations of whom you are not sure how they would turn out tomorrow........THEY SAY A BIRD IN HAND IS WORTH A THOUSAND IN THE FOREST.

bukatyne:
To think I was thinking of coming to visit next week.

bukatyne:
Reading your story, I think your home has some holes your in-laws exploited.

You don't present a united front so they think pressuring your wife would get them whatever they want.

They also do not respect you & family else they would have told you/your wife the exact duration they wanted the boys to stay.

The boys also are reacting from the way your wife/you are esteemed. There is a way your family would present itself that your younger in-laws would scramble to greet you and make themselves useful to you.

Your wife needs to let them know that you make decisions together and have to both agree on if they come around and how long long they stay.

Neither I nor my husband honestly would not stand an in-law who is practically unuseful and disrespectful.

Goodluck.

Florblu:
And what part did you think I will do? Be specific.

Moreover, it is your wife's house same way it is yours even if it is built/rented by you. Polish your bogus mentality and learn to manage situations calmly.

LewsTherin:
I see a lot of overeactions on this thread. And hillariously enough, not from the OP. I also read a lot of sacarsm in the OPs comments.

Op made some points that people are ignoring here.

1. Obviously funds are being stressed just on his family. Adding 2 extra adult mouths was an additional burden he wasn't comfortable with. But his wife wanted her siblings to visit, he let them visit

2. The guys were as useful as a fridge in the arctic and just as burdensome. But his wife was happy. He bore the discomfort.

3. They said they will be visiting for 2 weeks. He was prepared to be uncomfortable for 2 weeks. 5 weeks later they want to tack in another 8 weeks. Common! That is a massive amount of presumption on their part.

4. OP then realises his in-laws seem to want to leave the boys with him. You know, the African way of the elder sibling taking over responsibility of younger siblings. In this case, elder sibling and her husband. Me I call this false advertising!

So why should he not have had them leave?

Theyoungmatron:
Yes i am a woman and your thinking is erroneous.SO IT IS NOT HER HOUSE? You see your wife as a visitor too albeit a permanent one in "your" house, same way you see her brothers.
Let me be clear with you--------- in terms of packing, you are threatened. You are already thinking it cos you are sending her brothers packing for " overstaying". They must have misjudged or miscalculated their moves by thinking that they will feel at home in their in-laws. They erred in that regard by not being specific on the number of days they wish to stay but they do not deserve to be treated with disdain.
If reverse is the case, would you like your wife to treat your siblings the same way you are treating hers? Please tell them you do not want them in YOUR HOUSE.

Theyoungmatron:
IT IS YOUR HOUSE NOT THEIR SISTERS
You are petty and wicked. So you also see your wife as a tenant.
If this guys were to be your brothers would you have treated or even think of treating them or being petty for something as greetings, licking your asses?
How many of your younger siblings greets you and ass licks everything you do? You are petty Mr Poster.
Did you bother to be friends with this guys and tell them please do this and that, give them advise........In short be their friends.

If this had been a woman, everybody would've been asking for her head.

Florblu:
I don't know how things work between you and your wife. You should have discussed things with your wife only.

Moreover, why do you have to say "it's my house and not their sister's house"? Whatever issue you have with your inlaws that stopped them from greeting you should have been addressed.

I don't know if this is immaturity, but you didn't handle this well sir

priceaction:
How old are they ? What's their age range of you don't know.

blank:
I think they wanted to stay an extra 2 months making it 13 weeks in total. That's a quarter of a year. I guess because he wasn't feeling any positive impact, he asked them to leave.

@op, were they not going to school or something?

As a side note, why can't people be straightforward when it comes to how long they can stay somewhere.

blank:
The difference here was that they were not making themselves useful. If they were useful, he won't feel the burden of extra mouths to feed. But if you have to still pay someone to wash your car, run some errands, (assumptions I know) then it will feel like a burden.

UjuJoan2:
Did you send them away because you really couldn't afford it, or because you just want to be pretty and wicked?

You already housed them for 5weeks, 3 extra weeks would have not killed you.

Life is all about giving consessions and making compromises. Sometimes you have to bend to accommodate people, not because you have no choice, but because you want to.

If it were me, I will let them stay the two months before sending them away. And then I will make it clear that they will no longer be allowed.

I would do this not for in-laws, or for my wife (or husband), but for Providence, who has it possible that I will in the position to offer this kind of help to someone else.

The world is very small and tomorrow is not that far away. I wonder how those boys you unceremoniously threw out of your house will feel about you now.

TRADELYN:
Hi,

Someone needs a decent room self contained in an area not too far from Berger/ Wuse.
Budget is #200k.