₦airaland Forum

was so cold cos of the presence of the A/C and at that period i do
not need a prophet to tell me that, this people receives God’s
visitations every Sunday. I do not need a prophet to tell me that
God has made this place his dwelling place not like some local
churches that will use foul odour to chase out the presence of
God. After the service, i was placed on a pay roll of 20k just to play for
2days a week (wednesday and sunday) omo money sweet o.
While standing outside, i could not help but fixed my eyes on the
beautiful damsels that were coming out from the church
auditorium. Chei. i said within me, while i got some erections.
Me: omo this church badt ooooo
LG: shebi i tell you. Omo ukwu plenty for here
Me: guy you think say me i go fit cope for here so?
LG: guy play your games right. Me i just Bleep one yesterday and
another one dey online self now.
Me: see this badt niqqa. So u mean say u don samma one racket
for here, i asked
LG: yes my guy. You know as he dey go nau.
Well na so sha. Somehow, i knew that women have soft spot for
instrumentalist, as in my local church i have dated three and still
counting. as the story progresses, you will know about them

My name is peter and i am an instrumentalist. Yes, i play the
drum set and its pretty cool, you can call me the drummer boy as
that is the tag used in referring to people that plays the drum set.
i stay with my uncle who is married with kid. For a while i
stopped drumming because i had to go to school and after i
finished with my nysc, i just decided to pick up my old passion
also with the fact that i have not gotten a job so i needed
my skills to make ends meet. i have my own church but they
don’t pay instrumentalist as they believe you are offering your
services to God and that only him will reward you bountifully.
Since they normally starts their major activities by 12noon, i
looked for a church that i could play for and make money from
them and for a while none seems to be coming forth. I was down
casted as i need money badly. While playing for my local church,
my lead guitarist invited me to the birthday party of a pastor in a
church and i went there and played. After the show they were
pleased with me.
CM: brother we loved the way you play
Me: thank you sir.
Cm: well am the choir master (CM)
Me: its a pleasure meeting you sir.
Cm: so which church do you play for?
Me: none at the moment except for my local church.
Cm: that’s nice. So brother, we are looking for a drummer and i
don’t know if you will like to play for us
Me: it would be a honour sir.
Cm: that’s nice. When you come on sunday, the church
administration will include you in their payroll
Me: *i got so excited at the sound of money* thank you sir.
Cm: please and come this sunday. Meanwhile take this for your
transport.
Me: (collecting the money from him). Thank you sir. i will be here
on sunday.
Cm: the service starts by 8am please be punctual.
Me:*opening my teeth like somebody that used omo to brush* no problem sir.
Cm: ok take care. And he left. i immediately opened my and a saw two piece of 1000 naira notes, then i started smiling uncontrollably. Then my
lead guitarist walked up to me.
LG: come how fa, them see you
Me: omo yes o. This church make sense ooooo
LG: shebi i tell you. So wetin them tell you nau?
Me: the man say make i come dey play for their church ooo
LG: omo them dey pay wella for here. Them fit give you reach
20k self. Me*feeling so happy* guy u sure
LG: yes ooo. Also plenty babes dey the church oo
Me:* at the mention of babes, i had some jerk on my jean* me
self dey suspect, you self no see the settings? Omo this church
get money o
LG: yes my guy. Na here i dey make small change o, also i just
dey take eyes dey shadow one babe for here.
Me: badt guy. Me na chineke boy. i no get time for that jor.
We gist for a while and we went home. Feeling so happy with
myself, i couldn’t wait for Sunday to come. i couldn’t wait to see
the full settings of the church, i could wait to see the babes my
lead guitarist had told me off, i couldn’t wait to know how much
the church will pay me. Hmmm well i have no option but to wait
till Sunday and see what happens.
On sunday i woke up very early as i could not curtail the
excitement within me, i prepared and left for my new adopted
church as early as 7.30 i was there, we did some sound check
and i was good to go. The church is a well constructed church
with fine interior, its consist of several A/C’s, tiled floor, beautiful
alter with a projector, executive chairs, nice instruments and
good sense of decoration. The choir section was arranged in a
way that the singers and instruments face the congregation, so
as a drummer, you have eyes fixed on you vice versa. The
service commenced and i mounted the drum set. Feeling a little
bit shaky and shy, i played to every music that came out of the
lead singer’s mouth.
While at the drum stand, i could see eyes fixed on me, men,
women, boys and girls i couldn’t look at the congregation
because i was too shy. Also from the settings, its shows that
many of the members of the church belongs to the middle class
or upper class, as almost all songs were projected and their
dancing pattern was that of a zombie. Moving slowly to the
rhythm of the song (not like a poor man’s church that dances
with all veins and sweat running out of his body) the inside...

watch out for season 2!