₦airaland Forum

Waoh! What a twist. Oh Boy, na wa for you o.

Well I have found mine. and she is free of any yeye-tatoo.

Going to see her Mother on Christmas day.

So how did your test go? Would love to know. Thanks.

Offa in Kwara State got a bus, but it has since been converted to the private use of a farm that belongs to a deputy Governor of the central bank.

The farm uses the bus to pick up their staff every morning and to drop them in the evening.
Each time the bus passes by me, I just think "there goes our Fresh Air".
Jona, You try O!

Super C: Nice thrend,am also intrested,anyone with info W̶̲̥̅̊hε̲̣̣̣̥я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ I can attened class

Register for a photography course at eloPhotos Academy before December 28, 2012 and get a 50% discount. Click for more info www.elophotos.com elophotos.com/2012/07/27/photography-courses-at-elophotos-academy/

This is an oppurtunity you don't wanna miss.

These guys must be joking.
But if this is real, then let's make a public appeal to whoever has scoped out their brains to kindly return same.

Imagine this coming when people are still shouting against the 2.2Bn to be used in constructing a hall at Asovilla.

I weep for Nigeria.

"Survival and Security of the Entire Human Race” Depend on My Test Score.

This is an essay written by a Chinese Sixth Grader.

[b][/b]“Time passes very quickly. It’s midterm season soon, I already began nervously preparing for the test, I must begin working harder, because if I don’t work hard and review well, then my grades will not go up, and I will be scolded by my parents, and if I get scolded by my parents then I will lose self-confidence, if I lose self-confidence then I will not finish my studies, if I do not finish my studies then I will not graduate [from university], if I can’t graduate from university then I will not find a good job, if I don’t find a good job then I won’t be able to make money, if I don’t make money then I can’t pay taxes, if I don’t pay taxes then it will be difficult for the country to pay salary to teachers, if teachers can’t get paid then they will not be dedicated to teaching, if they are not dedicated to teaching, then this will impact our nation’s future, if our nation’s future is impacted, then it will be difficult for China to advance and develop, and the Chinese people will degenerate into a barbaric race. If the Chinese people degenerate into a barbaric race, then the USA will begin to suspect that our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, if our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, then the USA will start a war with China and World War III will erupt, if WWIII erupts, both the strengths of both the USA and China will not be enough, if their strengths are not enough then they will use nuclear weapons, if they use nuclear weapons then they will destroy the environment, if the environment is destroyed then this will create a big hole in the atmosphere, if there is a big hole in the atmosphere then global warming will escalate and the glaciers at both poles will melt, if the glaciers melt then the global water level will rise, if the global water level rises then the entire human race will drown and die. Because it relates to the survival and security of the entire human race, therefore I must spend the remaining next few days on review in order to do well on the test, and thus prevent a tragedy from happening.” 

The teacher commented at the end of the essay, “Haha I laughed out loud when I read this!”

What's your take on this?

elvis123: Abeg una sabi the guy sef wey dey sign,ebi like agbero.na celebrity I no se there signature dey important

This guy is no celebrity. He is probably a student who has just finished writing his final papers. It has become the trend now in some Polytechnics (I see them all around) for graduating students to write their names on each others clothes on the day of their last paper. This thug was just taking advantage of the yeye girl who lacks sense. BTW, the guy could just be a cultist and the babe is too scared to object.

Okay! Let my grab my Camera. See you in a bit.
Is there a deadline for submission?
Thanks.

timmy: iv got a huge passion for photography.. any one with an idea of where I can get classes in lagos?

If you are. Really interested in learning from the best, then you need to check out Elophotos Academy www.elophotos.com
And Shola Animashaun Academy.
These guys are Masters at what they do.

I am a Beginner and here is one of my works. Royalty Photos You can add me-27FD03F3

Walking towards Ojuelegba-UnderBridge this morning, I saw people forming crowd around this boy. I cleared my way through the crowd to see the boy- a danfo conductor, scratching his body and rolling on the ground, groaning. In the mutterings of the crowd, I could pick that the boy has been cursed with juju by a passenger- an old man who he insulted after dropping him off at the wrong bus-stop. Quickly, I remembered that palm-oil should relieve him (My grandma once told me palm oil would neutralize any juju). So I ran to the nearby canteen and begged the women who were also standing with arms akimbo- watching and clapping their hands sympathetically. I returned with a plate of palm-oil and one of the Area Boys collected it and with others, he was forced to drink it. I clenched my fists to subdue my shivering, as my mind prayed for his recovery. I have never seen this kind of thing in my life except for Nollywood films.

Suddenly, the boy gasped and coughed out the oil. As if the oil was a madness multiplier, he started throwing himself up and landing on the ground forcefully. The Area Boys grabbed him and he jumped out of their hands, fell, and then continued scratching and rolling. People were shouting, hands clasped across theirs heads as they wonder who would have cast such spell on the boy. We all kept watching, befuddled and one man screamed from the crowd "ero ito alaboyun si lenu jor (let him drink the urine of a pregnant woman jor)" I have never heard of such before, but some older women among the crowd nodded in agreement that the urine of a pregnant woman would neutralize the spell on him. Unfortunately, none was around. We stood there, Area Boys/conductors started sermonizing: "eko nla lele yi je fun gbogbo wa o hmmm. Ta ma bu passenger ta mo iru eyan to je (This must be a great lesson for all of us o hmm. It's time we checked the way we throw insults at passengers who we don't know who or what they are."

Soon, I spotted a pregnant lady- in her NYSC uniform- dragging herself behind her big tommy and was moving in our direction. Quickly, I walked out of the crowd to meet her half way. "Copa shuun. That boy there is dying and the elders said we need the urine of a pregnant woman to revive him. Please there is a public toilet there where...."
I didn't finish my explanation when she turned back and picked a race. She ran faster than Usen Bolt.

People trooped in and out of the crowd and nothing was done to help this boy. One conductor and I got talking and he told me that he was there when the man said "enu to fi bu Orisa noni wa fi wa be pada (It is the same mouth that you've used to insult the deity that you'll use to beg him)."
"Where is the man now?" I asked.
Nobody knows where to find him, I was told.

Time went on, and a man came around us with a bible and started praying. The conductors were shouting amen, some mockingly. I was trying to connect with the prayers, too, from within me. Suddenly the boy's madness tends to bow to the prayers as he became calm and then calmer. I sighed, rubbing my palms in gratitude to God Almighty. The Area Boys were shouting "Hallellu o." The boy then sat up and the man who had prayed bent at his face and was trying to talk to him. He shook his head and stood up and said that the boy's responsible for his calamity. Then he left. I was about taking my leave too when suddenly the boy returned to the madness. This time it was more than what I could stay to watch again.

Source:
http://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151127441691604&id=634706603&set=a.454378831603.248767.634706603&relevant_count=1&refid=7&_ft_=qid.5815879388450266064%3Amf_story_key.-1604809173441837200

This makes me wonder where Nigeria fits into the global story.
Will the world miss Nigeria if we are suddenly wiped out?(God forbid sha o) But do we even have senators who think this deep, talk less of students in our secondary schools?

We really need to change our thinking in Naija o.

“Survival and Security of the Entire Human Race” Depend on My Test Score.

Recently, an essay purportedly written by a sixth grader—an epitome of the “butterfly effect”—went viral on the Chinese Internet.

On Sina Weibo, China’s Twitter, user @土豆网 posted the photograph below at right. Within several days of its appearance, it had been retweeted over 4,800 times and attracted over 500 comments, with a number of other media outlets picking up on the essay and declaring it “hot.” Tea Leaf Nation translates in full:

[b][/b]“Time passes very quickly. It’s midterm season soon, I already began nervously preparing for the test, I must begin working harder, because if I don’t work hard and review well, then my grades will not go up, and I will be scolded by my parents, and if I get scolded by my parents then I will lose self-confidence, if I lose self-confidence then I will not finish my studies, if I do not finish my studies then I will not graduate [from university], if I can’t graduate from university then I will not find a good job, if I don’t find a good job then I won’t be able to make money, if I don’t make money then I can’t pay taxes, if I don’t pay taxes then it will be difficult for the country to pay salary to teachers, if teachers can’t get paid then they will not be dedicated to teaching, if they are not dedicated to teaching, then this will impact our nation’s future, if our nation’s future is impacted, then it will be difficult for China to advance and develop, and the Chinese people will degenerate into a barbaric race. If the Chinese people degenerate into a barbaric race, then the USA will begin to suspect that our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, if our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, then the USA will start a war with China and World War III will erupt, if WWIII erupts, both the strengths of both the USA and China will not be enough, if their strengths are not enough then they will use nuclear weapons, if they use nuclear weapons then they will destroy the environment, if the environment is destroyed then this will create a big hole in the atmosphere, if there is a big hole in the atmosphere then global warming will escalate and the glaciers at both poles will melt, if the glaciers melt then the global water level will rise, if the global water level rises then the entire human race will drown and die. Because it relates to the survival and security of the entire human race, therefore I must spend the remaining next few days on review in order to do well on the test, and thus prevent a tragedy from happening.” 

The teacher commented at the end of the essay, “Haha I laughed out loud when I read this!”

This absurdly comical essay did not only make Chinese web users laugh. It also prompted many to reflect. One web user was quoted by People’s Daily as writing, “After I read this, I felt ashamed of myself. This elementary student’s mentality is something we should all learn from.” Another web user was said to comment, “I went back to my books [after reading this].”

Children rarely speak ironically; their off-hand comments often reveal ideologies or anxieties that pervade society at a sub-conscious level. This elementary school student, who worries aloud that his behaviour could affect the future of the human race, reflects a shift in Chinese consciousness: A growing sense of responsibility as a global citizen, an increasing interest in the world outside China, and the realization that China, as an influential nation, must contribute to world peace.

The student’s concern that China’s decisions “relate to the survival and security of the entire human race” is not as ridiculous as it first seems. According to data published by the U.S. Energy Information Administration, China is the world’s biggest emitter of carbon dioxide; China’s future policies in environmental protection can, and will, influence the fate of the world’s environment. This essay expresses an awareness that with power comes responsibility—the responsibility to consider what negative “butterfly effects” China’s decisions may cause and what China must do to prevent them.

Chinese web users’ reactions to the essay also reveal a shift in Chinese consciousness. Why did this essay make so many Chinese people laugh, and what does this laughter signify? While a certain degree of irony can be expected in any corner of the Chinese Internet, much of the laughter appeared to signify acceptance and respect.

It was widely shared because many people accepted the message of the essay—social responsibility, self-consciousness as a member of the global community—and wished to share it with a larger audience. Weibo user @瓶木树萌 wrote, “The [Chinese] people’s renaissance depends on you!” @脸大不影响可爱 was impressed by the student’s precocity, writing, “An elementary student? He’s thinking further ahead than I am.”

Despite its hopefulness, the essay also touches upon a dark side of China’s education system. At no point does the student signify he is “nervously preparing for the test” because he finds his studies enjoyable or interesting. Most striking is the sheer amount of pressure the young writer places on himself. For him, ensconced in China’s hyper-competitive education system, the consequences of bad grades may seem to loom so large that the human race might as well be at stake. At least this young student appears to take that responsibility seriously—and now has thousands of Web users cheering him on.

Below is a picture of the essay and the Four riders that will follow if he fails his papers.

Source: http://www.tealeafnation.com/2012/11/chinese-sixth-graders-viral-essay-survival-and-security-of-the-entire-human-race-depend-on-my-test-score/

SHOT: U can get in computer village, there is a shop that sells cameras and accessories.... The. Name is dumotek.... On medical road

Thanks Bro. Will check it out.

Pls I would like to buy Canon 600d / Nikon D5100 camera urgently. Where can I get one in lagos? I hear some shops now sell fairly used cams as new ones.
Where do you trust that I can get brand new cameras in Lagos?
Thanks.

@Op, abeg stop peddling these unfounded rumours. That picture is not clear at all and there is no way you can prove that the woman is Mrs Oristejafor.

Abeg leave the family alone.

Then finish with this....

Let's try this.

buccal: Pls what do the pastors use church offerings for?

Church Offerings are not 'used' by the Pastor.
In most churches, there is a Financial committee that handles how all funds are used. The Pastor is usually a member of the committee, but he is not the chairman.
This committee shares all tithes and offerings to the following areas:-
Salary of all staff including the Pastor
Running the church(Repairs, Fuel, Bills etc)
Support to members who are less priviledged (widows, orphans, scholarships and sick members)
Publicity - Tv and Radio, tracts, Books etc.
Projects-Building, Education etc
These are just the Basic things Church Money is used for. If any Pastor dips his hand into the purse outside his regular salary, then God is the Judge, and He will pay every man according to his works.

Just thought I should enlighten you.

People tend to forget that this Jet was given to him as a Gift.
Pastor Oritsejafor is not the type that will divert Tithes/Offerings to buy a Jet. Am sure the jet must have come from some oil magnate/wealthy deltan or a combination of big boys who just wish to show some appreciation.
But my problem is the real motive behind the gift. Have these members that raised such cash been of any beneficial effect to the poor surrounding them? If so, kudos, if not, shame on them.

*Oya let the insults start rolling*

ollystic: @Royalty1 , I will Find Out and get Back to you ...

Thanks a lot. Appreciated!

Omo Alata: Carry on going to church on Sundays. One day, Jesus will visit you and you will forsake all else

Jesus is already at the door of our hearts, knocking.
If only we will open the door to him.

Sorry I can't share any experience as I am not presently attending. But pls I would like to ask, when will Daystar start the enrollment for the Skill aquistion Programme? Can you pls help me find out and let me know. Thanks a lot.

dridowu: Speechless

I was inspired to write this when I heard the song 'Stained Glass Masquerade' by Casting Crowns.
It is my desire to open people's eyes to what we have turned Christianity to these days.

I Hope you and I can truly live our lives for Christ. Have a lovely Sunday.

CrazyMan: Matthew 6:24.  No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Joshua 24:15.  And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord

Make up your mind on who your true lord and master is...cos God hates lukewarmness.

Perfectly Said.... But your username kinda scares me.

pastormustwacc: *Coughs* a revival is needed. . .

so correct! todays church needs a revival.

This is a Wake Up Call to all Children of the Kingdom.
If only we can live our sunday lives throughout the week;
If only we can truly stop gratifying the Desires of the Flesh;
If only we can pull down our Masks and let People know who we really are;
If only we can truly depend on the Cleansing power of the Blood of Christ.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Chorintians 5:17

Have a splendid time in Church. Hope you found your Bible?

Sunday- I go to Church, nicely dressed, neatly shaven.
I raise 'holy hands' and dance with joy.
I take notes, and 'eye' the fine chorister. "Maybe I should just get her Number".

Monday- Got to work 8:30, signed 7:55. "No one is Watching". Told my Boss I sent the letters on Friday while I just passed it to the dispacth guy. "I can't kill myself joor".

Tuesday - I just feel like playing Don Moen Songs. Be Magnified on repeat. Tought about going for Bible studies, but left work late.

Wednesday - She came around, we kissed. We were about to get down, but we were cut short by the knock on the door. "Abeg no more watching ball at my place! Yeye Fun-stopper"!

Thursday - Booring Day at work. Traffic was terrible! What the Heck?

Friday - Rocking my Blue Guinea and Damask Cap. Rita is having a bash after work. Ran into a hot chick. Danced late into the night. She ended up on my bed. What's her name again?

Saturday - Hangover, Laundry, shopping and more football.

Sunday - Where is my Bible? Am late for Church!

I am a Stained glass Masquerade.

Viclov: ayinisong ur a veri big liar, Akpabio is not d worst Governor Akwa Ibom state has seen, am 4rm uyo, and u can't just start vomiting rubbish about AKPABIO, he has tried a bit, nd u can't expect him to suit ur taste 100%... As for the examples u've hilighted i.e british prime minister, king of Norway, using commercial planes, u forgot that the condition of our planes used in Nigeria commercially z nt the same with that of the europeans, so u can't expect the Governors we have in Nigeria. If there is the money, any Governor, president, individual can buy for seafty sake but it should not be as a private matter, bt it should be for the Governor of the state, even if he steps down, the next governor would inherit it....

So what would you say about the Taraba State Governor? Was that not a private plane?

The bottom truth is our leaders have Zero empathy towards we the followers.

Am pretty sure the next governor would come around and say he also needs a new jet cause the previous one used by the last Governor is old.

God Save Nigeria!

May the Lord bless Juanita.
She has a large heart.
Let's all try and do something in our own little way to help.
God Bless Nigeria.

Ram Size
Processor speed
Hard disk size
Is your OS geniune?
Pls post answers to the questions above!
Thanks.

Nice thread. But before I take your word for it (No Offense intended) can you please name other series you have watched?
It will give me a good idea of where you are coming from.
I saw this series at the store and someone told me it was crap so I'd love to know series you have seen against which you are camparing this.

Thanks.