Trump has done more harm than good to USA, sincerely he's a tyrant. I laugh at people who say he is God sent. What will they say now?

Really? Getting interesting!

Miracle2020:
then what is your problem?

2k

Closing down schools is not the best. Though its a safety measure.

Local Government Chairman isn't my problem abeg. Abi na that one be your problem?

SalamRushdie:
One of the best regimes Nigeria had but many people don't know

Gerara here right now mehn.

The Deputy Governor's Police Escorts Shot Carelessly & endlessly at peaceful protesters... They had to lay on the ground to avoid being hit while others say they are ready to die for this course.

Imagine police beating & using tear gas on peaceful protesters in jos today. This shows that it is a justified protest.

iokpebholo:
Lies lies lies.Just to create tension.God will judge all of u

You're a fool.. You're one of those useless youth we have in the country. Which tension when that's what happened.

Look at people lying down just to avoid being shot by his convoy

Police attached to Plateau State Deputy Governor's Convoy shot at Peaceful Protesters at Old Airport Junction in Jos. I was there live, I don't know how to upload video here. Someone should direct me on how to do it.

Karlifate:
Inside life...
Bad things happen to good people while the bad people seems to encounter good luck often.

This life ehn, if you no fear woman wetin you gain ooo

When couples are at a point of divorce, who amongst them do you think is always willing to work harder to avert the divorce & safe the marriage for the sake of the child because some men or women do not give a damn about an innocent child when thinking of divorce?

Oluromantic:
You pay the rent. Right? Stay there till it's over except you have a friend's place to alternate your stay at one or two days interval. Once the rent is over, prepare to go rent somewhere else. Simple

We just packed in here two months ago

GboyegaD:


You guys need real counselling and therapy. If you guys are tired, tell each other and move on instead of draining yourselves unnecessarily. It doesn't seem there's much issues here though except for immaturity on both end.

You're right, there's no much issue at all, in fact its as good as there's no issue at all sef. Its really draining me cos I love her, but any attempt for me to reach out to her will make her repeat that again in the future cos she has done that before.

skillmyman:
bros,
dont be childish.
you married her did you not?
be matured enough to say am sorry and move on with life.
If she was your younger sister , will you not look out for her?

A broken marriage is the fault of the man because he is the
head of the home. you shld understand your wife and
handle her will understanding.

Abeg, forget pride, go and beg her and end the feud.
it is not necessary

. bros, I've done that the last time we had issue ooo, this time around she just left with my child when I went to work. It's almost two weeks now she hasn't reached out to me, neither has her family. The mother supports her on every issue even without hearing from me. Why must I always be the one to reach out?

Finnese001:



Lol, your wife don go do strong thing

How? I'm sure she's at her mother's place... but nine has reached out to me, I won't reach out to them at all since I've done that before.

GboyegaD:
Shame over what? Why are you not reaching her? Do you want out yourself?

I didn't reach out to her because I've done that like twice before & besides I didn't send her out of the house.... I'm just waiting to see how it ends, if she would cone back or come to pack her belongings.

Few days back I posted how my wife left the house after a little issue & since then she hasn't come back but 95% of her belongings are still in my house... Technically I think we're now divorced, but i feel so ashamed & have guilt to even go out of the compound or walk in the streeet as if i did something very bad. Nobody knows about the issue & people have been asking after her, I've been telling them she traveled but I don't know what to say anymore. Some people that saw her when she was leaving said she just told them she was going for weekend that's why they've been asking why she's not back. Yesterday my neigbour met me & asked for my wife's phone number to call & hear from her of which I gave. But I didn't ask her about their conversation so she won't suspect anything. Sincerely this divorce is causing me serious shame, I didn't send her out of the house. I know people are beginning to suspect something.

I just got a call from a lady, this was our conversation:

Lady: Good afternoon, are you Mr. XYZ?

Me: Yes

Lady: I'm from, ( I can't remember the name of the company she called) she said alot about the company & then she said we provide loan with no collateral this & that... You were recommended by Lucky Ogechi. Do you know her? (but I have never in my life known anyone with that name)

Me: Okay

Lady: You're to come to bank of industry, 2nd floor at the state secretariat tomorrow by 2pm

Me: Okay

I think I suspect foul play somewhere because I've never known anyone with the name of the person she claimed recommended me to them.

And in the state where I am currently, Bank of industry isn't located where she mentioned. It is a state secretariat.

She called my second line of which the last time anyone called me through that number is over a year ago.

What is your advice guys?

NiCurious:


Does he have to beg? How about "okay dear, I've cooled down, but we need to talk about how we deal with our issues".

Yes, they obviously have some communication issues, and they both need to work on them...however, only OP is asking for advice as far as I know, so he is being advised that the silent treatment is not the way to go about it. It's certainly the opposite of constructive communication. Staying silent until one finds words is one thing--silent treatment for a week, is something else! It's also pretty horrible for the kid to endure, speaking from experience.

OP works hard to downplay his own role in the trouble, the way a kid does, so we are not only getting a one-sided story, we are not getting the whole one-sided story. Who even knows what the wife did, that the OP became upset? Maybe the wife is foolish for leaving over small matters. But maybe the wife is foolish to keep coming back, over large matters. We just don't have the whole facts, to judge the whole picture.

Do you know to some extend she doesn't have respect for me? Sometimes I wonder who the man is between us? Yet I kept enduring & overlooking. I went to work & you sent me a text that you've left with our child. at least even if she wants to leave, if really she wants to settle she'll threaten me first that she will go if I don't talk to her but no she just took the decision alone.

In as much as I love my child so much, I'm also sorry to say this, I'm leaving the child for them & pretend I never had a child, if that's what they want, fine. I'm not going to do anything for the sake of the child. I know the kind of in law I have. they want to have a reason to squeeze you. I remember her mother telling me one certain time that we had an issue, she said if I don't want the marriage or the child I should leave the child for her. Is a mother in law suppose to say a thing like that? The mother is contributing a lot to this.

MrBrownJay1:


remember bro, the wife did something WRONG that made the OP get upset with her... they obviously have some communication issues so he chose to give her the silent treatment, and as far as i know there is nothing wrong with it, as many family go through issues and deal with them the way they BOTH see fit. the main problem here is when she decided (on her own) to take their child and leave the FAMILY HOME, thus depriving this man of his family and child, while A) asking "him" to come/crawl beg her to have his family back (as if "he" threw them away) and/or B) involving extended family in these personal matters, as if it will solve anything.

now, with such negative mindset from his wife, what do you think will happen if he begs her to come back and then they have a future misunderstanding... OR BETTER YET, how does begging this woman (who took the decision to leave) solves any of the problems they currently have?!

You're really more than on point.

Sometimes when we have problem, i do go to the family alone to tell them & sometimes i go with her to tell them what she has done.

The last time we had a problem that made her go back to her family, I took my mum's elder sister with another elder to their family to resolve. why must i be the only one approaching the family for settlement?

Of all the issues we've been having since we got married, when she goes back to her family she tell them something different.

The mother seem to always find a way of supporting her daughter no matter how obvious it is that her daughter is at fault.

I didn't send her away from the house, she left with my son. if I go to beg her, I guarantee you she'll do same whenever we have another problem. Am I gonna keep begging always?

She hasn't even called till date, no form of contact at all, so what should I contact her & tell her.

Her family likes drama, a reasonable family will have sent her back to her husband no matter what she tells them, they'll want to come & confirm to hear for them selves.


MrBrown, I'm sorry to say this, I'm never gonna call her, go to her family or even contact them in any way I choose to remain silent like she is now & see the end. if she comes back herself its fine, but if she comes to pick her belongings its also fine. Right now everything dey her hand.


What do you think?

MrBrownJay1:


you are losing the main focus here.... giving silent treatment to your partner (when you are upset) isnt the problem here, the fact that she left the family home with his kids IS the whole problem.

Thank you very much. I sent you a mail

Ishilove:
Sure

check your email please urgent

meetme01:
Both parties are not ready to fix their home

Both parties need to go for marriage counseling
the slightest opportunity to move on.

Both parties need to ask themselves if the marriage would work.

Both parties should understand that the kid would suffer the brunt now and in future (broken home)

With my submission, I believe the home can be fixed if one of the parties (the man especially) lay low to accept the fault of the wife and move on.

Young man (OP) ego kills a man, destroy a home and a generation if caution is not taking. The response of you wife shows you are egoistic. If you want a HOME, please, go to your inlaws, discuss the issue, make sure you listen before you respond and let your response be, no problem, we would get it fixed. Pick your wife and go home.

I know it is hard. Very very hard but trust me, lots of marriages have passed through this and even worse. You will still face worse scenarios like this but if you subtle your ego now, the coming scenarios would be the turn of your wife to reciprocate and apologise.

It is your home. FIX IT. If you don't, you will REGRET

I love this, I'll make an effort to fix things immediately, let me be the man. I'll call her & study her approach & reaction

NiCurious:


This guy is giving you bad advice, playing to your insecurities and false pride, and you are drinking it up like a weakling taking the path of least resistance. The solution to your problems is not to pass blame to another person, which you've been trying to do since opening this thread. The solution lies by standing in front of your mirror, and having a really good look. Be a man, not an overgrown boy.

I'll man up & call her, at least if it doesn't work I'll know its time to move on.

Chii59:
STOP OVERTHINKING. DO YOU WANT HER OR NOT!!!!

I want her

multiple4u:
Exactly! Looks like her family is full of dramatic people! They just accepted her back. Her mom is also an irresponsible woman. She's in her husband house, yet she's accommodating another man's wife!

Shame!

You just hit the nail. their house is full of dramatic people. She has about 8 siblings & all her women. Most of them are in their second marriages, some have given birth elsewhere & dropped the child with the mum so they could marry again.

multiple4u:
It looks like there's more to that story.

But for how long would she be running back and forth to their family and your home?

Let me tell you this bro. It's hard to get a husband! How old is your wife? Maybe she's still very young. If she's in her late 20s, I bet you, she won't be doing this.

When a woman is ready for marriage, she stays and work on it. You have mentioned you have been going to her family house each time she runs back home. Bro that's very disrespectful!

If she loves you, she won't be disrespecting you. Is she the one wearing the trouser in your marriage or are you the man of the house?

Mind you, your inlaws have already concluded that your are so incompetent that's why they just ignored you. No reasonable family would have ignored the ugly situation of their daughter coming back home with someone's else son. If you have paid her pride price, chill! That man will always be your son.

But if you haven't, maybe that's why they kept quiet. They want to keep the kid.

Your wife also doesn't care about you at all. Such a disrespectful woman.

Let them raise the kid if that's all they won't. You can't put a price on a peice of mind.

But if they call you to make peace, bro do it for the sake of your son. Growing up without a father figure is a disaster. Someone will never recover from it. Remember nobody can ever raise your kids like yourself.

But you need to man up. The reason why you should not go back there again is that you have been doing that for so long that they took advantage of it. They are now comfortable with your actions, telling her to chill. You will come as usual. That's a big drama. It's not good for the kid.

Think about everything and go with what your mind tells you.

Good luck bro. Life isn't perfect!

You've spoken excellently well, I really don't wanna call or go to the house again since I've done that severally, sincerely I'm sorry to say this but I'm ready to leave the child for them & pretend I never had a child. That's what they want, they wanna use the child as an edge against me, always expecting me to come. What is hindering her from coming to pack all her stuffs here if she wanna move on cos 98% of her things are in my house. I've packed & packaged every of her things & kept them in a corner.