₦airaland Forum

Hello guys. So today I'll be talking about something I actually sat down to think about, friends with benefits. I'm sure we're all familiar with that term and we all have attached several meaning to it.
Well,in this post, I'll be talking about those friends that keep you because of the benefits they're getting from you. Is it doing assignment for them?, Giving them extra cash or lending them stuffs?..down to other stuffs... they're all involved.
I don't know who needs to hear this but there is no pride in being someone's"emergency contact". The person they call immediately they need something, it's not a prideful thing.
If you have that one friend that calls you only once in a year and each time he or she calls , they keep asking you for that one favour, well, I'm sorry to tell you but that's all you're worth to them.
Hear this!
Hi Sarah, my name is Olivia (not real name) and your status just made me laugh, lol, well I actually used to have this friend that never calls. He only calls me when he's in town and It's always to hang with him in a club or something...at first sha I was happy cos I was chopping life..lol..well...it became a habit oo ..I now started asking myself if I was just all that to him?.. someone to show off cos u know I'm sha fine.. lol...well at the end he called me oneday and I warned him not to call me to hang anymore.... that if he wants someone to show off..he should carry his sister..my girl, oga ran and never called..the guy was actually using me for my looks oo . mtcheww..

://www.sarahkaysblog.com/2019/02/a-friend-with-benefit.html?m=1

Thanks to an episode in the Nigerian TV show "skinny girl in transit" I finally have something to actually talk about today, lol, not like I'm out of topics or anything, but...yeah let's just move on.
The problem of young women dating married men is something that has continued to stick around for over a long time now, it's a societal disease that sticks like gum and no matter how much you try to pull it out, it doesn't go out.
Well,i was made to understand that these young women with promising future who have refused to do good to themselves are constantly being told lies by these men that they refuse to hear otherwise. I mean, it takes a really powerful lie to make a woman want to destroy another woman's home right?..right?...oh well!
In this blog post, I'll be taking my time to bring to light some of these lies so our young ladies would know what it is they're really getting themselves into.
1.I'm not happy in/with my marriage
Ok!, Before I go any further , ask yourself this question, "am I a therapist?"...no really, I bet there would be less young women dating married men if they actually ask themselves that question.An unhappy man would not keep staying ona marriage and comes out to announce it like a news on NTA, an unhappy man would leave a marriage not find outside distraction. A married man walks up to you and tells you he's not happy anymore with his marriage, his wife nags always, his wife is this and that and you believe him?..even if it's true, are you a cup or a plate of ice cream and shawarma that somehow magically brings smile on someone's face?, No right?..so why entertain such lie?. If a married man comes up to you with that 'bs' , look him in the face and point him to the nearest fast-food to go get himself a plate of ice cream and shawarma to make himself happy. Better still, recommend a therapist he can go to with his wife, don't make yourself another flavour of ice cream.




2.we are still together just for the kids!
Some really senseless ladies would be happy over this and even praise him for sacrificing his happiness for his children, but wait a sec, did you hear?, He has kids!. Kids he'll never leave for you. Don't you realize that this is like an appeal to pity?. This married man telling you he's still in his marriage because of his kids certainly doesn't have plans of leaving the marriage and I'm sure your parents raised you better with hopes to be something more than a married man's girlfriend

Click on https://www.sarahkaysblog.com/2019/02/lies-married-men-tell-single-ladies.html?m=1 to finish up!

Good morning everyone, it's been long here yeah?..well, I'm back and hopefully I won't be boring you to death on this new piece.
Well, recently as the bell of Christmas jingled, I was discussing with a few friends over the excitement that comes with Christmas and how well everybody is getting prepared. After talking for minutes about the joy of Christmas, we all came to the realization that not only are the young ones preparing, the mothers are too..infact, much more than the children.

In past years, Christmas in this part of the world came with great joy and excitement for the kids. Parents would go extra miles to get whatever a child would need for Christmas just so their kids would be happy. These days, few mothers are the ones still living in that era. Now, it would amaze me and probably you to see mothers struggling to look just as good, even more than their kids.

I'm not against mothers looking their best on Christmas, I think they deserve to look just as amazing as their kids. But when it's now it's priority, well, it's all wrong.

My friend shared the experience of how last Christmas, a mother engaged in a fight with another mother just because the hair she sold her was fake.funny huh?..this mother wanted to slay in her Village and went ahead to buy a hair worth 100 thousand, she fixed it and of course, felt on top of the world. During the village meeting where the seller was also part of, another mother commented on the hair saying how fake it was, the buyer then engaged in an ugly fist fight with the seller. You can't possibly imagine how hard I laughed.

It's just a pity how instead of seeing young ones all excited, you see mothers struggling to look chic and possibly prove they're better than any mother they'll be meeting in the village.many homes are on fire as the mothers are constantly "changing it" for their husbands.

Motherhood in this part of the world is going wrong and we have just few good ones left. The few good ones that would remember they still have children's school fees to pay next year, the few good ones that would sell their last wrapper to buy things for their children and not selling their homes to buy things for themselves.

Mothers are to be loved and respected above all, but what happens when they throw that all away to be awarded mother of the year In a village meeting?.

If your mum is still one of the good ones left, hug her today and thank her because if you look and listen well, you'll know that motherhood have indeed gone wrong!

Oh!...happy new month!

Sarah cares❤❤

We'll learn �.... hopefully

amaniro:
Like one i was chatting with. She expects me to always start the convo. I left the bitch sorry ass



BTW do you know it's vice versa White people love talking to us blacks especially female to male. Most of them crave for African men

Hello everyone, it's another day to write about another wonderful topic and this time around I'll be focusing on the girls and the so many things we do wrong while conversing with someone especially on social media.
First, I didn't just wake up to write this. I saw a very captivating post about a guy saying why he would rather chat with a foreign girl than a Nigerian girl (picture below) and it got me wondering..what did we do so wrong?

In my last post, I talked about how to know if you're a boring conversationalist, well, turns out most guys think Nigerian girls are clearly BORING online!
So I did some research and I've been able to put together the different things Nigerian girls do wrong in a conversation.
1.Everyone is a suspect!
This couldn't be more true. To a Nigerian girl, once you say 'hi' and your number isn't saved on her contact list... you're an automatic suspect. For all she knows, you could be a kidnapper or simply someone trying to woo her. Girls, let's calm down. Not everyone who says hi wants to take you to the alter, some just wants to make friends. Funny enough, the very first thing a girl ask when you tell her 'hi' is 'who gave you my number '?... without a reply whatsoever, it doesn't go well with the guys. Settle, be friendly and make them relax, that way, your question will be answered even without you asking. And guys, really, try to be less suspicious. You get a girl's number for the first time and chat her up..cool.. introduce yourself first and do not give her reasons to be someone you'll hate!.

2.Can't keep up conversation.
It's typical of most Nigerian girls to expect the guy to keep the conversation going. To them, if you wanna chat, you have to come up with all chat ideas. That's wrong!. It's a two way thing. I've been opportune to see different chats of Nigerian guys with foreign girls and honestly, it is DIFFERENT!. The girl should put in just as much effort as the guy in a conversation, do not chat like a robot, be lively and bring up interesting topics to talk about. BUT...guys let's be honest, most girls intentionally ignore your chats because you keep talking about perverted things and keep repeating things..see this;
Lol... I have seen this way too much.... For me the fact that I am a lazy texter... I hate small talks actually too... Most times I rather not even chat or start a conversation if we keep asking or talking about the same thing everyday (how you doing and your day?)... Most guys don't even know how to hold a conversation... The talk so dumb...especially does ones that have not even gotten to a limit of closeness with you.... WTF what are you wearing?? Tell me more about yourself... Uncle what exactly do you want to know.. I miss you.. Do you miss me Someone you barely know.. What the you want me to reply Biko..
So the above statement was made by a concerned Nigerian girl over the too much complains about Nigerian girls. Nigerian girls are mostly disciplined and if they sense any act showing you're a pervert, you're off the conversation.

3.Easily look down on a person.
This one is bad... actually, almost everyone does it. You get a chat and the next thing you do is look at the profile picture to see the kind of person it is. If they don't come off as too rich or handsome..it's off. Nigerian girls will automatically ignore someone if they are not too good looking and financially stable...it doesn't speak well.

4. Seem desperate at first chat!
This is done by few actually . I still don't understand if it's a way of testing your capabilities or just pure desperation but asking someone you just met online for help is not a good act to depict. Having the mindset that anybody who comes your way is definitely one to take to the slaughter is a very bad mindset and a total turnoff. And guys really need to stop showing off.

5.you chat like you're doing them a favor.
Lastly, chatting with someone is not doing them a favour, it's a choice and they're not getting paid for it. Don't chat with someone and make them feel like you're doing them a favour by giving your time, they're giving theirs too.

I would go on and on but I intend to make this as short as possible. In conclusion, we should be more accommodating. Give these guys benefit of the doubt and make our conversations something to look forward to not something to dread!
Stop 'k...ng' someone. The 'k' word is annoying and greatly disheartening....
To finish up..on ...
https://www.sarahkaysblog.com/2018/09/everything-nigerian-girls-do-wrong-in.html

Hello everybody.
Most of us actually have the habit of boring people to death on social media, you can't keep up a chat or flow along well when the person is trying to connect. It might be unintended as you'll think your chat is actually very interesting that they need more...well..they don't!

Today I'll be giving us very effective tips to know when you're boring that boy or that girl to death on social media so that next time you'll know exactly when to stop and turn the chat to maybe something less boring.



1.you get more emojis than words!



Ok! Believe it or not...once your chat gets boring, the other party looses interest and is totally out of words. So what do they do?.they start using emojis because they really have no idea what reply to give to your very boring message. The more boring you get, the more emojis you receive.





2.you get one syllable reply after minutes

So if they decide to even reply your chat, they use very simple words..like hmm, ok, yh, sure, lol, haha, ohw, etc. The very polite ones would do this instead of completing ignoring you. But, they would give you this one word reply after minutes even when they're online and updating their status. In a case when you tell them something you consider funny..they would just say 'lol' instead of saying 'hahahaha...omg!..that was so funny...(with emojis)... something sad, they would say 'hmm..sorry' instead of 'i'm so sorry dear... it'll be fine'. They shorter they make it, the earlier the chat ends.



3.much repetitions

People who are bored with your chat tend to repeat words. If you keep getting same reply each time, chances are you're boring the other person to death.



4.they would rather answer than ask




Asking questions prolong the chat so why do it if you're bored?..if you're in a conversation with someone on the internet and you're the only one doing the asking while they just say 'no.. continue ' when you suggest they ask, know that they find your chat really boring and just can't wait to get it over with.



5.uses I'm busy as an excuse



A busy person won't be online now would they?.If someone is constantly using the 'i'm busy ' excuse to not chat with you, know that they're really tired of your conversation. Some would still use this excuse while constantly updating their status and changing their display picture..oh well!

To finish up..click on https://www.sarahkaysblog.com/2018/08/signs-youre-boring-someone-to-death-on.html?m=1

The famous believe in Africa these days is if you're not married before you're 30, there's something Wrong with you. It's either a spiritual problem or you're probably reaping from your bad deeds...that is something we law students call "fallacy of false cause".. Well.. whichever it is, single women above 30 in Africa do not find it funny. The pressure is much and the humiliation,well, that is a story for another day.

The pressure has become so high that these women under this category have decided to rush into marriage, and most times, settle for less. They tend to be in a hurry to run away from shame and constant mockery especially if the pressure is coming directly from their parents. The humiliation makes them want to go home with just anyone and call him "husband"...If that will take away the shame..they're okay!



Well, good news! You don't have to settle for less, don't let anyone rush you into the arms of someone you'll regret marrying. Don't let human beings rush you into their own time frame...age is different..time for marriage is also different..and God's time is just not the same time as ours..



With reference to the above statement, I'll be giving us few reasons why you don't have to settle for less.

1. You don't want less!

This is the most important of all the reasons. You don't want less!..if you did..you would have married the first man to knock on your door. Do not let pressure make you settle for less. If you're under pressure and constant humiliation, remember this one. If you want a tall man, don't settle for a short man because of desperation, if you want a man who treats you like a queen, don't settle for a man who can't even treat a lady right because of humiliation. Always remember, the years have passed but your standards are still intact..if you know your worth... if you have worked hard to be who you ate... just pray, act right and wait..do not settle for something you'll end up regretting.



2.You're going to regret it!

Believe it or not.. doing something you don't want to do is an easy way of inviting regret and anguish. The world will pressure you,but they won't share in your pain..it's yours alone to bear. You're going to carry the load alone!



3. If you're deliberately waiting, remember why!

Someone would probably laugh so hard at you when you say 'i want a tall man who has a car and lives in a mansion with servants at his disposal"..if that's what you want and why you're waiting, it's not impossible. Didn't God say 'your heart desires shall I grant"?..it only takes prayer and patience to get things straight.





4.God doesn't take a date from you, he gives you his!

This one is for our very prayerful sisters who in most cases give God time and says 'if it doesn't happen on this date...."...well..you don't give God instructions, he gives you. You don't impose your date on him,he gives you his. Don't let the society pressure you and make you believe God isn't listening and as such push you into making the worst mistake of your life.



5.The possibility of finding true happiness might be worth the wait!

If you're almost broken, remember, there's still a high probability of you finding that true happiness and when you do.. you'll find it was totally worth the wait and pressure.



6. Being single is not a liability, it's a chance.

Singles ate certainly not useless.. in fact you can do many things as a single. Finding your happiness, finding your passion in life and finding God. If you're in a situation, remember, you just have extra time to prepare for that extra task.

This shouldn't just be for older women, younger women too. Don't let the society pressure you into committing a very serious mistake.

The society is the society, you are you.. only you can live with yourself forever.

Remember, marriage is forever, criticism and humiliation is only temporary!

Sarah cares❤
Follow sarahkaysblog on Facebook and Instagram for more!

benswagtt:
U did well ma'am.. Am sure most people that criticized ur post didn't read it to the end. Buh try next time to partition the comments u got from others probably through paragraphs and also make sure their names comes before their comments 4 easy comprehension.


Ladies sha are too complicated. Different strokes for different folks.

Sha I passed 95% of their criteria for rejection.

But how do ladies know if a guy's intention isn't genuine? Are they empaths or telepaths?


U did well ma'am.. Am sure most people that criticized ur post didn't read it to the end. Buh try next time to partition the comments u got from others probably through paragraphs and also make sure their names comes before their comments 4 easy comprehension.


Ladies sha are too complicated. Different strokes for different folks.

Sha I passed 95% of their criteria for rejection.

But how do ladies know if a guy's intention isn't genuine? Are they empaths or telepaths?

thanks dear..I'll do better next time.

Biglittlelois:
But it is too long, why nah

sorry...I'll try to cut it down next time though.. thanks for reading!

eph12:
You should have divided it into series or season film. This one is to long

lol.. thanks..I'll do that next time !

darkmarky:
You lack speech writing skills. A huge turn off

ohw.. sorry you feel that way..I was trying to gather people's opinion not make a speech..I'll make it better next time though .. thank you

HARDDON:
Mehn! And to think I was master at episodes and graphical narations( mine are fun though)
For once, in my life here, I couldn't read a lyrical flow to the end. Damn, that was really borrriiinngg

maybe you're boring. I'm just saying..if you couldn't read people's opinion..it can only be you like yours better!

After speaking to the guys on how they handle rejection, I decided to hear from the ladies and know their reasons for saying no to a guy to begin with. I got many responses that even I wasn't aware of...well..I guess by sharing it, our men will step up their game and avoid those things that makes ladies reject them.
First, I would like to say that rejection doesn't really mean you're not worth accepting, it just means they would rather accept someone else. That a girl rejects you doesn't mean she hates you..maybe she just likes someone more. That she says no doesn't mean she views you as being irresponsible, maybe she just has someone else in her heart. Rejection doesn't make you any less a man.

Having said that, I would like to proceed and share with us some of the reasons why ladies reject men!

"Probably cos he is not ur type or u are in love with someone else or u just dnt like him for any reason particularly or some girls cos your not an assurance giver some girls have a thing for rich guys" success said! "Especially davido��‍♀��‍♀��‍♀��‍♀��‍♀ he murderd guys... The rejection level increased ���" she added!

Okay!..I'm trying not to laugh so hard right now at the last part. But seriously, girls do have a thing for rich guys and the guys out there spoiling their guys with assurance certainly ain't helping matters just like success said. So it's a case of 'if you no get money..hide your face"..lol..

"First of all love conquers all....love is blind too.... But that's doesn't go for me 100%...your matter of approach really matters.... So if you think you could just jump out from no where and ask for a relationship even without being friends for awhile is a no for me.... If my vibes don't vibrate with yours you just remain on the random persons I know... I'm going no further with you....if I find it difficult to understand your kind of person too....i hate showoff and proud ones...it all goes wrong When you fall in love with what they have...." princess said "I don't know if is weird but I hate it when someone gives you too too much attention.... Like it seems you now obsessed or what...you calling always and all that... Because I seriously hate talking on phone or texting always....i have to get used to talking or not talking to you sometimes when something is up... That's why I don't really like guys who don't keep female friends or even one close one ...."she added!

Well, that says it all. Guys you reading?.. personally I find it irritating that a guy just met you this morning and in the evening it's 'i love you '.. what do you love?. Princess clearly stated she can't just date anyone she doesn't vibe with, someone she hasn't even been friends with and it's going so well for her. Obsession too..believe it or not,girls don't tend to drill over attention. It's actually disturbing. They would rather makeup and eat all day than talk to an obsessed man for hours on the phone. Why call her every minute to check up.. she's not a missen person, First, it might be fun but later it gets boring and irritating. If you're courting a girl,princess has made it clear that obsessing isn't the way.



"Based on mi i reject guys for certain reasons

1..most importantly if he's not my type at all

2..If I have someone else in my heart already

3..even when he's my type and I don't have anyone in my heart... If I don't see his sincerity then I would reject him" ifeoma said "Another important reason for Nigeria girls....if he's broke�" she jokingly added.

Well, for ifeoma it's about being her type of man or nothing. And most importantly,you have to be sincere. Why lie to her if you claim to like her?.. some guys would say 'i lie so I can get her' ..well.. that or not..it's still a bed of lie and girls like ifeoma certainly don't dig that!..she really couldn't end without saying what we all know.."if you ain't talking money..."



"Ok

Everyone has choice

Most girls reject a guy because he's broke or d believe he can't meet up to standard

While some reject because his a braggart, too proud and rude at same time

Most guys don't have manners while approaching a girl,some of dem will start with stupid talks or perhaps showing off and most girls lose interest when dey do so

And most girls also reject guys when dey aff heard bad stuffs about him like he's a playboy,cultist or so

And some girls reject based on physical appearance or facial wahever,when d guy doesn't dress fine or his nuh handsome" peculiar said!



I totally agree with peculiar on this one, why would you be courting a girl and still sound rude and try to show off?.. and manner of approach matters a lot. Believe or not, before you even start talking, she's had a good look at you and is just waiting for you to talk. If you intend courting a girl in town A.. make sure you have a clean record in town A else be ready to hear a sounding NO! ...and peculiar also made one thing clear.. your physical appearance matters!



'Ehmmm.. okay some guys are so rude, the other day i was heading to my lodge one mumu was talking frm d car instead of him to come down ��some are just not my speck' Thelma said "U see someone talking to u with mouth odour and smelling body��Some no just follow.maybe I see a guy i like den maybe he comes to talk to me his intonation will just spoil everything �‍♀" she added!

Ok..I'm trying so hard to hold back my laughter..why would a gentleman be talking to a lady on the road from inside his car?.. whatever happened to coming down and having a decent conversation?..And the issue of body odour too..well..she said it!..you wanna court a girl..a proper English would do.



"l reject a guy becos of his personality, maybe it doesn't suit mine,his physical appearance, his accent maybe it does really matter if his pocket is filled wit pepper,Nd ATTITUDE, u kw attitude is everyything,how do u react when u re angry?intact attitude is everything". Goodness said

Well for Goodness, it's all about attitude. She wouldn't want to end up with someone who would raise his hand at every slight mistake..to her.. attitude is everything!



"Why I reject guys?

Firstly if d guy approaches in a rude manner

Secondly if his English is whackk" Sarah simply said!



"First of all, if I don't like him then he should be handsome with brain if he is not smart then no way then he if is not principled.. forget it. most of all he should be reasonable"Christiana said.

Well..she doesn't really need much..just simply little things.

"There are plenty reasons that often make me reject a guy...

1. If ion like u.... No matter what you do...it won't make me change ma mind...."Adaeze simply said.

Honestly..it's really about the heart..the heart wants what it wants right?



"Ohhhkk...

1. Whether d guy is fine or not

2. Tall or not

3.whether d love is genuine

From my own perspective oo" Shamila simply put it out there.



"I think I hate guys who stop me on the way.. like wtf should I be jejely walking and you're doing shhhhh for me?..it's disrespecting..if you don't know my name..wait till I'm where I am going and simply excuse me... again,if you look shabby and sick.. forget it.. why try to woo me when you can't take care of yourself?..just don't come close if you're looking like someone whose life I need to help because me sef needs the help" Anonymous

Woops!..I really have no comment...I'm literally dead right now!..well..'There it is!



"Ermm.. let me think..I think I reject ugly guys.. like i don't get why but just feel insulted when a guy that is not handsome approaches me..I feel like I'm becoming ugly..lol.. but it's true..I don't care about your car or cash.. if you're not fine.. bye.." -Amaka said.-

The ideal lady is one who isn't afraid to say what she thinks..and Amaka really don't care!



Well..I hope we've all seen it and sincerely, Ladies have lots of reasons for rejecting men . Can our men meet up to the standard?.?well.. good luck!

Finally..I would like to drop this before I say goodnight!

"Ok, in the *NO* aspect, it's in girls DNA to form hard to get, but for a girl to openly tell a guy *NO* then the *hatred* is just there, yes I called it hatred, we girls don't push guys away like that, we like to be begged, we always want a plan B when our boyfriend leaves us, that's why there is *friendzone*, a girl can have up to 10 male besties, below are some reasons I think girls say no to guys

1. When you are totally broke and will be of no use to the girl

2. When the body odor is too much, that even from a distance u can feel his presence

3. When he talks too much, and just talks about himself, (we girls like some attention)

4. When u want to *BESTIE* him,but he is just too boring that u can't even have a min conversation" Adaobi said, and when asked if she feels guilty after rejecting, she said "Guilty fire, he should consider himself very lucky, cos I would have finished his whole destiny buying human hair extensions, he should even do a thanksgiving ceremony that I let him go, but if he insists he should come let me teach him some lesson"

Hahahahahaha!.. I really don't envy the guys right now..well.. it's get better..

Thanks for sharing ladies!

Thanks for reading!

Sarah cares❤

Sarahkaysblog.com

Different ways different men handle rejection!
09:23 Anwar Sarah 0 Comments
Hello everyone, good day.
Today I'll be Sharing some very interesting talk I had with some men on how well they handle rejection. Figured I've been doing all the talking and thought 'why not allow the readers do the talking and I put it out there'. I picked this one topic because I realized how well women have been constantly rejecting men these days and I stopped and thought 'how well they handle this?'.. everyone has their very different ways of handling rejection, women included but it's so much common among men so I did the analysis and it turned out just fine. I've realized some men handle it quit well and move on , others become sworn enemies and go out of their way to do the worst.

Well, after this, I'll give our women the opportunity to tell us why the rate of rejection is becoming very high.

Now..let's see the various responses our men have in how they handle rejection.



"OK normally if a girl rejects us I'll use us, not me ok, if a girl rejects us and we really like the girl we don't give up we continue that was how I got my girlfriend though we are not together anymore, she said no,though I felt heartbroken I had to the right thing, I was always there when she needed someone, I made her smile gave her what I could and then I didn't even have to ask her out again, she just said yes, but if we don't like her maybe because she's dope or something and her reply is no we just go over to another girl � and life goes on same thing everytime"-justice says!

Well..it seems like our friend has a lot to choose from and just can't risk to waste his time drooling over one girl..hmm..how do you see that?

"I'll feel really bad at first. Buh I will definitely let her be.
Relationship is not a one sided thing.
It takes two to tango.
If she feels I am not right for her?
Then fine.
Tho I really love her.
She still has to be happy she is with me"- dubem says!

Dubem is not really into forcing anyone to be with him. He's mature enough to understand that you can't force a relationship which is absolutely perfect ..kudos dubem !

"Told you a bit yesterday lol.

I'll act like it didn't hurt me and I won't text the person again. If the person is trying to famz like trying to chat me up after the whole thing, it's obvious she friendzoned me and I hate being friendzoned if I'm not cool with just being friends. So probably

I'll break down in a few days.. Then hate girls for a few days as well, then remember I have female friends that aren't that bad.. Cycle starts all over again"-sky says!

Our friend here really isn't ready to be friend zoned after a rejection ..he's definitely not to be blamed , sometimes girls tend to be very funny !

"I probably lie silently nd sleep off" -yucee simply replied!

Ok!..I laughed at this..like this is like 'i cannot come and kill myself ' situation . Kudos Yucee..you really have it going easy for you.

"It depends on ur intentions with the girl
Sometimes u ask a girl out because u just want to sleep with her.
When that kinda of girl rejects u.... Mehn for guys most guys is no big deal.... Some will talk trash with ur name, hate u even keep u uncomfortable if possible.But when a guy ask u out with a genuine intentions of dating u... Seriously in love with the girl.... When the girl rejects,It damn painful especially when u see her with someone u think isn't good enough for her.Most guys handling rejection as a failure on first trial depending on the intention like i said
But when u Try and Try and ur still rejected... For me i handle as it not meant to happen i take a nap for few days possibly a week... Mehn i forget u" -Emmy explained!

It may seem hard for Emmy but he eventually moves on after trying, talk about maturity!

" First of all that's the reason I'm still single... I find it hard to ask a girl out because I'm afraid of her rejecting me.And not just afraid... I'll feel so down and disappointed �" -kaycee says!

Girls really need to take it easy , Kaycee is actually been careful these days. Hopefully he gets to try again one day.

" last tym i got rejected...i jus stopped talking to d girl for a while...Den after sometin...we continued our normal friendship but i dont didnt want to go closer lik befor i ask her..." Michael says!

Who would?...time heals all wounds .. space does too.

"Was kinda painful. Well u can't force anyone for any decision in their life.I persisted tho. Never wanted to stop. Kept striving. Thought I would get a better end result.
But then. I found out that the more time I wasted. The more I loose those who loved me. I had to hold on to that fact and try to forget her." Kingsley says!

Interesting.. Kingsley actually helped me realize something ..the more you fight for what isn't worth it..you loose what is worth it..thanks man!..all the best!

" sad at first
had to take it and understand shes not meant for me
ughm...
had no choice
had to let go" Bruce said

Talk about maturity again !

"The feeling of rejection or being rejected is one of the most painful if not the most.I try to find out why am being rejected and mend my ways and if it doesn't work out I move on with life." John says!

John actually stressed that girls have a reason for rejecting someone and he still tries to measure up..if it's not just working out..he walks away..good man !

"I feel disappointed...
After all my efforts and show off just to get the girl she turns the table of me... Also feel frustrated because I can't do anything about it.. O can't force her to go against her will. ..
Then failure... Cus I think I failed to impress her. Then what I do?
I don't show it.. Won't let her know that it touches me
Would show off... Like make myself better to let her know that she lost something special
Would
Then.. I'd act evil and cold-blooded " Frank says!

Well.. everyone has their own remedy and Frank just said his. He gets better and just shows her what she's missing ... thought only girls did that..lol!

Thanks to everyone guy that helped in compiling this...for your audience and support ... cooperation too..you're the best!..
Lastly..I should share this..one of the best I read too..save the best for the last they say..


I have to stop at this juncture, sorry I couldn't post everything..and to those I couldn't post theirs please forgive me.

To continue reading ...click on http://sarahkayysblog..com/2018/06/different-ways-different-men-handle.html
Well...we've read it all..how do you think these responses come on?..good..bad... ugly?..how well can you handle a rejection?..you can do well by dropping your opinion in the comment box so we can all read and know.
Girls?...well..I'm almost crying now...why so much rejection?..how well do you think the man you rejected acted?..drop your comment and let's all interact!

Girls... we're up next.. you can send me a private message on Anwarsarah85@gmail.com or sarahkaysblog on Facebook with your response on what makes you reject a man .

Thanks for sharing!
Sarah cares❤

Earlier last week, I was waiting in a saloon for a friend to finish up with her hair and I couldn't help but eavesdrop on a conversation..that's bad.. yes!..but everyday is a learning day right?..
So I wasn't really interested in this conversation till I heard this lady say..
"After giving her food, clothing, shelter and money for years..she thinks she can get married like that and just forget me?..no way..I'll find her number and I'll make sure we become friends again.. who doesn't want foreign Money?"..
Well..the lady who said the words above actually happened to have this girl she used to be friends with, she claimed to have housed her and fed her for years before the girl got lucky and got married to a man who stays abroad!. Unfortunately, the ladies lost communication and the lady in the saloon have reasons to believe the person she helped has been avoiding her for some reasons and even though she's made all attempt to reach her, all has proven abortive. Now, this lady in the saloon is ready to go Miles just to get this girl's friendship back..even if it means being insulted..why?.. because she can't miss "American money"..funny right?..
I listened and I thought...do we not know when to stop?...
Often..no..more than often, we've continually pushed for what's not even there..what's not even worth pushing and I think if it's taking too hard to get back...why not just stop!
The lady in the above scenario looked desperate, her words could show it and with all Indications, was trying to reach someone who didn't want to be reached..
Her friend could be called selfish... ungrateful...etc..but since I'm ignorant to the true story..I would rather keep my opinion..but then..till when will she be constantly humiliated?..
Most of us are like her...we just don't know when to stop.. we "die here"..(I like the words in the context because it just connects)..
Well..not intending to blame anyone since I believe not everyone knows when to stop. Because of this reason, I'll be giving us five effective ways to know when to stop!.. signs that shows you just have to stop!.

1. You see yourself trying too much!
It's totally okay to try. In fact it shows a sign of maturity but when you're trying too hard..it shows a sign of desperation..is it a relationship?..a friendship?..what really?..if it's right, it's not supposed to be hard. If you wake up one morning and you're trying harder than you used to..harder to make it work..harder to get his/her attention..harder to talk..harder to communicate.. harder to even get them to listen or stay. It's time..you just need to stop!

2.they give you that go-away signal!
...I can't talk right now...I'm in a meeting .I'll call you back..(but they never do).. excuses keep arising. It's always there...we know it is..we've all seen it in one way or the other..that go-away signal. You're suddenly boring them with your long calls and texts...your visit no longer seems pleasant..they try to shorten their time with you... believe it...the end date is here.

3.you tend to become desperate
Selena Gomez made a very great point when she sang.."everything comes naturally"..she said "you follow what you feel inside...it's intuitive you don't have to try, it comes naturally..."...
When you're been desperate and forcing yourself and the other person to do what they don't wanna do.. it's desperation and no longer natural. When you see yourself in a Need to do anything to get their attention.. stop!..why fight for something you deserve?..when you start fighting..it can only mean you no longer deserve that... maybe you deserve even better..
To keep going...click..�
http://sarahkayysblog..com/2018/06/five-effective-ways-to-know-when-to-stop.html

I sat down and thought..'friendship isn't really so different from relationship'... why?.. friendship is just like two hearts coming together in agreement and decide to do nothing than be there for each other.
Often, we tend to look down on friendships..like..it's just a passing stage in life. Sometimes we choose everything else over our friends and we're like 'its just friends, we can always make new ones'
Do you give up on a relationship when it's rocky?..no right, so why give up on friendship when it's shaky.


Funny..we do things because it's just 'friendship '..you catch your friend having an affair with your spouse and it's over for your friendship but you say 'i can fix my relationship '..why can't you fix your friendship?
Friends are humans..they make unbearable mistakes.. sometimes you feel like smacking them in the face and never wanting to see them again but they're you're friends..they're family!


Mood swings?..that's normal..your friend can get all annoying and itchy, nagging at every little thing..they need space not you leaving them alone. If you can make them feel better..do!
You don't need the perfect friends, no, you need people who are your kind of crazy.. people who would accept you for who you are and people who would forgive you just like they would forgive their partner.
Everyday isn't sunny day..some days are rainy... Stormy.. who knows, even a dark cloudy day. You give up because your friend isn't in his/her best days...you don't deserve friends.
You complain your friend isn't keeping up with you..maybe forgotten you..ok..call them!..you would want to keep up communication in your relationship right?.. what's stopping you from putting the same effort in your friendship?
Maybe you've constantly tried to keep being there for a friend and they push you away...well..walk a distance and keep waiting..keep watching till that golden opportunity to save your friendship arrive.
You have problems with your friends, talk!..you would talk about problems in your relationship right?..do same here..it's also worth rescuing.
Totally in agreement, some friends can be too annoying and you can hardly tolerate them, some friends can make you feel worthless and feel like you aren't needed..but it'll pass..you've had many reasons to give up on a relationship but you haven't...why would you give up on a friendship because of one little reason.
You wanna fight over a girl?..cool...it's great..but later, shake hands and move on..she'll go, but your friend...is always there..
You wanna fight over a guy?.. awesome...he has million girls to choose from but your friend..is your friend and your sister.
Value friendships as much as relationships!
They're the same package!
Your friend has just as much package as your partner...if you can deal with a messed up relationship..you can deal with a messed up friendship!
When your friend is getting unreasonable and unbearable.. remember, you were once like that!.. And they managed you just well!.
Remember, your friends are always there! 12:00am..12:00pm.. everyday!
They cry through your breakup!
They laugh through your victory!
They're you're friends!
Let love lead!
Friendship is love!

Have a nice evening❤
Sarah cares❤
https://sarahkayysblog..com/2018/06/tales-of-friendship_7.html?m=1

How to identify toxic people when you see them!
16:16 Anwar Sarah 0 Comments
I got this message below from a reader who has asked to be kept anonymous and it got me thinking...what would I do in this situation?..what would you do?..well..let's look at it and see if my answers can help her and others out there!
"Hello Sarah...good day, I've been following your blog and reading everything on it and for someone who just started..I must say you are doing a very lovely job and I can't deny that some of your posts have set me on a better part..last time..you wrote a post about getting what you deserve rather than what you want..well..that hit me..I've had this friend for over seven years..we attended secondary school together and are virtually best friends but lately it's been from one problem to another..she gets irritated easily and haven't been happy for any of my progress..she even went ahead to gossip about me to my friends and one of them told me.. whenever I'm with her, I don't feel happiness and I feel like I have something to prove to her as she's always making me feel bad.. please I need advice..I feel you and other readers can help me..and.. I know I want this friendship but I think I deserve better..I just need a confirmation.. please keep my ID anonymous as I'll be looking forward to seeing your reply...you haven't been posting for a while..we miss you!"


To read my response to her, click on the image below as it is a screenshot of the message.


Well.. moving on!.. haven read that message, I realized this world is filled with lots of bitter and toxic people... people hating you for what you are, what you are not, what you can do, what you can't do..just mention it. Even friends turning to enemies which really isn't a recent news. I've learnt to ignore it because if you allow people's talk stop you from doing what you gotta do, then you'll never get it done.
The lady being referred to by the reader on the message above is bitter and toxic to anyone at all and the last thing you need is a toxic person around you..right?



So.. moving on!.. who's a toxic person?.. judging from what I've seen so far, a toxic person is someone who is simply there to reduce and never add, someone who's there to take but never give, someone who's there to just show you how bad you are and can get but can never tell you how good you are.. that, is my definition as a toxic person!
Tonight, we'll be giving few tips on how to identify a toxic person cause really, most of us don't know how and have been living with it for days, weeks, months, even years.

1.Toxic people are manipulate, yes, they always want you under their claws, doing what they want you to do..to them..you're the puppet and they, the puppet master.
They would rather have you work for them than they for themselves. If you have someone like that in your life, well, your system certainly do not need them!.

2. They are judgemental and spend most times criticizing than complimenting. You never hear any encouraging words from them rather get ready to hear about all the things you've done wrong.

3.these people are defensive..always ready to pin their feelings down on you and pretend like they've done nothing wrong. if you confront them, instead of owing up to what they've done, they pin it on you and make you feel responsible for their actions.

4.they never apologize, why should they?..they are the perfectionist, always right and would never accept to have done anything wrong.

5.they are too inconsistent..they can switch on you any day and wouldn't act like anything happened.

6.They make you feel like you have something to prove to them always which really, you don't. You can chose to be geeky, untidy, etc and they would still want to shape you into what they want you to be cause it's always about them.



7.They are always negative, always! Atleast to you as never applies to them. They consistently make you feel you can't do anything unless it's about them

8.Someone who's always taking up all your time is toxic. You gradually realize it's never About you anymore as you spend most time with and on them . You can't do anything for yourself as most things are being done for them.

9.These people are great speakers but never listen. They can talk for hours about themselves and all you gotta do is listen unless you have something to contribute and that too,must be about them. Try to talk about you and boom... you're back to talking about them in no minute.

10.If you see them, you'll know them for certain. You'll know by the way they're self absorbed and everything..your guts will surely tell you.

11. They're always at the receiving end as they never made an effort to give. They'll make sure to take anything you can give but will never make an effort to appreciate or give back.

Toxic people are draining, they can drain all your mental energy in a minute and reduce your self esteem, confidence and self worth to zero.


Funny thing, these people are everywhere, in our homes, circle of friends, school, street, and even church. One thing about them, they can't do what you don't give them power to.

If you're interested in knowing how to deal with toxic people and get rid of them once, follow our blog post tomorrow and you sure won't regret it.
Sarah cares❤
http://sarahkayysblog..com/2018/05/how-to-identify-toxic-people-when-you.html

Sarahkay:
#timFisher
Immature or not..these problems are seen in relationships and they can lead to the end of the relationship. It's not about maturity, it's about how well you can handle them!

#teamfisher
Immature or not..these problems are seen in relationships and they can lead to the end of the relationship. It's not about maturity, it's about how well you can handle them!

Why always lonely?

Meaning of loneliness

Loneliness is that feeling of depression, negligent and sometimes.. worthlessness. It is that form of mental illness that often takes over the life of teens everywhere. Infacf, it is an ideology.

Why always lonely?

More than few times , we’ve seen ourselves bring drawn into the claws of loneliness. But why?..why are we always lonely?..maybe we believe we are not worth experiencing happiness because of a shadow from the past…or is it that we believe that being alone automatically makes you alone…maybe it is that belief that we do not have anyone with us to bring us away from that claws of loneliness.

Before we go any further,we should understand that being alone and being lonely are two different things. You can be alone and feel loved , respected and happy..and again, we can be in the midst of the whole world and still feel dejected and neglected. Loneliness is a disease of the mind. We think it,we feel it ,then we cultivate it and make it a way of life.

Judging from the ongoing in the world today,there has been several case of suicide and reportedly,some if not most of the victims have been prisoners of loneliness.

Youths everywhere at one point in life falls into the embrace of loneliness because they believe no one cares about them enough to be with them..maybe because family or relationship problems have taken the better part of them.

We get lonely because we ignore the things around us and instead go for the things we can’t have at that moment. We get lonely because we try to live in the lie that we enjoy our own company more.

Yes,self reliance and independence is the mostly needed features in a life of a youth but without realizing..most of us have began being used to being alone that we actually are lonely..no friends,no social life..what next?.. loneliness sets in.

Youths these days get lonely because they are more engrossed in the embrace of social media..no real friends..no real life.. everything is centered on social media..why won’t you get lonely when your life is centered on a fantasy?..on a feeble attempt to escape the reality you instead run into the embrace of an imaginary world.

Jane green wrote
" i'min longer surrounded by people. It is just me, my book, and the internet. I spend hours online scrolling through social media, procrastinating instead of writing. I think I am connected to the world, but, in reality, I am more isolated than ever"

This was after she realized she’s been deeply swallowed by the make believe she created for her self. While trying to create a world of our own,we easily forget there’s a world waiting for us to get connected to. We easily forget that there’s an even greater race of humanity to run.

Funny enough , while falling into the prey of loneliness we try to convince ourselves that we are only building a world of our own.

Imagine a scenario where a youth stays locked up all day,no friend,just the internet,food and books… usually,one would say such person is living the dream..but deep down in us,we know such person is living a lie. slowly,loneliness sets In, then depression.

We often think that people don’t want us around so we stay in and try to shut the world out..why not go to them and try to open that door of friendship instead of locking it?.

Shun loneliness today

Why don’t we learn that we can build a world of our own and still be connected to the outside world?..why do we get so engrossed with the internet…most of us can spend hours on the internet without having a real talk with anyone.. slowly,we begin to drift into the fantasy world the internet is creating.

Shun loneliness today,get your active mental state back. Drop that phone , laptop and computer and go out to the real world. Say a few hi’s and hello’s to real people and get cured of that mental illness calledloneliness.

Any clue on solving that widely spread mental disease,you can drop your thoughts on the comments box and help youths everywhere become better people who can actually make real conversation with real people.

Sarah cares❤
Heat of loneliness http://sarahkayysblog..com/2018/04/heat-of-loneliness.html

Before you begin, yours truly isn't advising you to go on and murder your relationship, no!..but 6 out of 10 times we do things that are harmful to our relationships without even discovering it. This write-up here is to outline the various ways we've been killing our relationships and ways to continue killing it if we want..I sincerely hope we don't though!
Well, here are eight ways to kill your relationship with a snap of your fingers!

1. Complain
Yes, complain, go on and complain about every little thing. Complain about the little dirt on the table , complain about the girl next door who's always visiting, complain about him not calling you 24/7..just go on and complain!. In as much as he would want to tolerate and bear the complains ,one day, sooner or later, he'll definitely get tired!..so go ahead and keep complaining till you hear the slamming of the door.
For the guys, if you keep complaining about how her hair is always Messy, how she laughs or talk too much, how she's always taking other guy's calls, How she never calls or visits..well..just get ready, the young lady is gonna want some peace and quiet one day and if she'll find it elsewhere, she will.

2.be insecure
When you're always feeling you're not deserving of your partner, when you're always comparing yourself to their ex and trying to look like them, when you get jealous because you think (s)he's spending too much time with someone on the internet or on the street, when you think anyone of the opposite sex he or she speaks to is a threat...get ready!.. you're going walk out of the relationship sooner than you think because of something that isn't even there.

3. Be filled with Pride
Do you wait for him to apologize first after a fight?.. do you wait for her to apologize first after a fight?..well.. welcome to the pride sector. You feel too high to acknowledge your mistakes and make amends , get ready to see the end. If you want to kill off your relationship fast, do not apologize, do not use words that are soothing to the heart and always claim you're right even when you aren't. That way, you'll be on the road faster than you think.

4.Do not plan for the future
You may not want to get married yet but you definitely do not want to be wasting your time. If you want your relationship to end soon, never talk about the future, always insist against it. Trust me, once your partner discovers you're not in for the future or you do not see a future with them, they'll go find someone who do.

5.cheat
Yes, cheat..over and over and over again. They may be forgiving at first but no one likes a cheat and no one will definitely want to spend their whole life with one.

6. Always talk about that one person
You have a guy or a girl that is always on your neck?, Maybe a potential partner or even a more capable partner than your present partner, talk about them always. Keep telling your partner how that one guy or girl is great, keep comparing your partner to that one person and always make it significant that another person wants you. It might be fun at first but soon, they'll get tired, they'll leave you to be with 'your friend ' whom you're always talking about... they'll leave you to be happy.

7. Ignore them continually
If you're always making yourself unavailable for your partner when needed, congratulations, you're just about to get kicked out. Everyone wants someone they can count in, someone they can call anytime and won't get disappointed, if you want to end your relationship fast, don't be that person, someone else will.

8.Ease up communication with them
Do not call, do not text and completely ignore their existence online! Chat with other people, do not even send them a 'hi'.. communication is the key to every relationship and once it's cut off..well, bye!.. remember, if communication with you is getting shorter, it's getting longer with someone else.

There are dozens of ways to kill your relationship fast but I'll be leaving you with eight most effective ways. You can either continue with them or quit. Remember, if you're wasting their time, you're wasting yours.
If you've already made these mistakes, it's not too late to hurry and make amends.
Before these things kill your relationship, kill them and make way for better traits in your relationship.

Sarah cares❤
8 ways to destroy your relationship fast! http://sarahkayysblog..com/2018/04/8-ways-to-destroy-your-relationship-fast.html