₦airaland Forum

mimifonwon: Young man sharrap there, paul knows why he wrote this expose, are americans like nigerians with strict native traditional cultures? noooooooooo!! Here in the usa a lot of nigerian marriages fall apart when the men want to stay rigid or the woman want to become the head of the house hold. They chose not to assimilate into the culture they are living in. Yes culture is important, but dont let it blind you. Now my parents will be married for 32 years this january, My dad is usually the soft tempered type, the one that never punishes, while my mother is the opposite. She is the disciplinarian. My parents have had discussions, i believe for them it is the love and respect they hold for eachother that pulls them through many things, even discussions about biafran war that usually makes my mom cry like no tomorrow, and like the man he is, my father always understand when to anger his wife and when to comfort her. They met in college,were friends first, and then after their first degree he told her how he felt, and she felt the same. I believe that most problems with most naija marriage in the usa is that most of these men go and marry a partner whom they know not much about,except what his people has told him about her, i will tell you us women we are the biggest pretenders, we can hide a certain characteristic until we feel its time to make use of it. Most go and marry "nurse type" thinking that she would be the typical obedient nigerian wife their forefathers had, and they have to wake up to the changes in our culture. Our women are more westernized and by many ways throwing the male dominated culture away. They forget that it is wiser to have a foundation, than to be a floating house. My parents have never fought or screamed in front of us at each other, except once, when my dads people were trying to impose a second wife on my dad, and my mom called a family meeting and told my father, that the day another woman steps into her house as a second wife that that same day, she will take her children back to nigeria, and he cannot do anything about it, because he never finished paying her traditional bride price. lol. My dad never took another wife, that was 15 years ago, and immediately after that discussion my mom had with him and us, he took his people and went home to my mother's people and finished paying her bride price. lmaoo. It was so funny, but he understood the woman he married. As we grew up they taught us that husband and wife fights are to be had when husband wife meet, in the private of their bedroom between them alone. My mom told my sis when she got married ( she married a black america/ puertorican) that she must learn to swallow her pride at times as an educated woman, that sometimes women who feel they make more money than their husbands ( which she does) or have better education can at times feel and act superior to their husbands, which my mother say she must never let happen. Men no matter the culture they stem from have Pride and ego, that most be guarded, for if he truly loves you he will at times let you step on it, but not always, especially african men. It is a wife's job to reassure her husband his place in the household by respecting him and making sure the children respect him also, for a man's pride is mainly his family, and as long as his family treats him like the King he is, then you will forever be his queen." I have sat and pondered what my mother said, knowing my sister who is your typical example of angry black woman..lol, but educated,lol. But my sis has been married for 6 years now and never has she complained to my mom or dad about him. She learned to give him his space ( maybe it also helps since she is a psychiatrist), but yeah she worked on her anger issues. I have watched so many nigerian mothers in usa when they get angry, usually over money ( because we know most of these nurses make more than their husbands) use their children against their husbands. Which is horrible. So my dear, what paul wrote its actually nothing compared to the horror stories i have witnessed. Yes all the blame does not go to the women, but also the men, but it is a woman's job to keep a peaceful family, and most naija women here in the states, are all ready to bring the earth down on their husband irrespective of who they are.

CAMEROONPRIDE: cuz they know their BFs are safe if everyone in the group have one

Jaykizz: @seedord and r231: wen dy say going out to have fun, didnt mean staying at home. Der must be cheaper alternatives to enjoy oneself around, esp btw 25th n 31st.

babyosisi: All they need is a good tailor and to stop shopping at okirika joints

salam001: Some nairalanders would need this miracle too,you know yourselfs
yes you

babyosisi: Time for a one minute interlude o jare
Let us talk about living things
A break for Tuberculosis Joshua and his doom
2 Nigerians and a South African




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zyz_7Wqjx-8

toksade: Sorry pls, I don't mean harm but I suggest you should ask somebody to read the write up and explain it for you for better understanding and stop disgracing yourself with the intension of insulting the writer.

Caracta: Pls don't misunderstand me. She is definitely using his fluid to satisfy her pleasures or whatever. She has gained control over him. When you are a slave to something, you are being 'used' by that thing. It doesn't have to be in a ritualistic kind of way, or whatever you are thinking.
I hope you understand my point now...

nikkyshyne: Please I need that shyte! Send it asap!

nikkyshyne: But seriously, when will he prophesy something positive

r231: Your house

omanma 2013: WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW. DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HIM WHAT MY DAD SAID ABOUT OUR UNION , CAN'T EVEN FACE HIM OR PICK HIS CALLS.AND HE HAS NOTICE IT. WHAT SHOULD I DO

Caracta: I won't give you the advice you want but the one you need. Stop servicing that woman. Be a man. Do you want your children to remember you as the man who pulled through hard times by sleeping with his boss? You are not the only hussler in the world. That woman will keep using you and your fluid. Be wise. BE A MAN not a machine. How long do you want to keep up with this?

MRbrownJAY: @OP
- telling her you are in love with her after the second date (while you probably dont know shiit about her): FAIL #1
- thinking you are not acting like a mugu with this one, while in fact you are: FAIL #2
- trying to kiss this "friend" after giving her the shock of her life (and being surprised she dodged you): FAIL #3

PLS WHERE THE KEY TO CLOSE THIS THREAD.
- not getting the hint when she now avoids you like the plague: FAIL #4
- wanting to continue "pestering" her, as if that was something admirable when going after a lady:FAIL #5
- knowing that this lady likes money, and yet trying to be with her, while you aint got any: ULTIMATE FAIL