sorom4:
I don laugh tire for most comments here.

The truth of the matter be say...do what you think works for you. There is no particular model for every marriage. If you be man and you want to spend all your money in marriage without your wife contributing...go ahead. If you be man and you want your wife to contribute some or all her earnings towards marriage...go ahead. No allow anyone to tell you how you should run your family/marriage. Do what you think that will work for you.

For me oh...I believe that my future wife must contribute 100%. There will not be anything like "my money is only mine and your money is for both of us". Whatever we earn will be jointly pulled together (no matter who earns more) for the success of the family. I have always told her that I am not interested in her money now cos we are not married but mine also belongs to her. But immediately we marry...her money ceases to be hers alone but ours.

Time don change. The success of the family is for both of us to work towards and not only me

It is obvious many here are not married and they all sees marriage in a particular ways.

From my observation female here sees marriage as slavery which have to be compensated by men paying bills through their nose while men sees marriages as financial bandage which has to be defined b4 marriage. Non of this assumptions is true and it is not a good mindset because people are already taking position of war before marriage.

Ladycewhy:
Details? Lol,you are not the op, so why are you assuming on his behalf, it's not in your place to determine heavy or light food stuff the op is talking about neither are you in the position to tell us a person like the op that is full of himself will cook and clean

Mr man , I don't know why all of you boys seem to be whining tho? Isn't this a proposal? She has the right to turn it down, you boys are acting like she was obligated to accept the proposal or something?

As far as the op was quick to list the finances and not the chores ,it's a red flag and a bad deal.


Again I will repeat for draft ones to hear,that she turned down the deal doesn't make her less of a wife material,she doesn't have to use her 80k to live the standard of a 300k earner.He wants her to contribute to vacations abroad , car

Like I v said, all this is mind set. If it is from my interpretation, I will gladly accept and if my wife sees this proposal I don't think she will also complain but if people have small mind and roll with similar people they will think in other direction.

We all can't interpret things in the same way, it has to be within our own realm, frame of mind and exposure.

It is even obvious op does not know what it takes to run a family by his list and likewise majority of men and women here seems to be single from their conversation.

ivolt:
The OP said this about 2 months ago.


The OP wrote a fiction. He does not earn 300K. His imaginary girlfriend could only
have ran because she is tired of carrying all his responsibilities.

Yes he could v been a fiction but this will open many people's eyes, this is a very important conversation and I v been able to peep into many people's mind here.

Ladycewhy:
Nope I am not mad at planning finances but the way and manner is the problem.

Infact the op comes off as lacking empathy. Now
The both of them work and contribute to the house ,the both go through work stress regardless of the salary ,so let me ask would the op be open to sharing the chores and taking care of the kids as well? Will the op be open to going to the market to get groceries ?

If we even do the maths ,the lady might end up spending her entire salary ,the least meat I have bought for just small stew is 2k and for someone full of himself like the op he will not want to repeat one meal twice a day, he says she will take care of food supplement ,but buying 2k meat per pot is not "light " she never buy stock fish and other medemede.

She is also going to be paying cable subscription o,you sef check am na. I am sure she has done the maths and gave it a thought.l sincerely hope she meets some more reasonable ,cos the fact that she turned down the deal doesn't make her a less wife material .

@Bolded, I don't know op but I don't think those responsibilities falls only on the wife, majority of men are already doing this.
Let me give you instance, I stays in a compound of four occupants and majority of times I hears my neahbour in the kitchen just the same time I'm in the kitchen, we all meet at laundry point together and we gist about politics, economy and latest business in town at Laundry point.
The grocery is done now adays by men or both husband and wife, u needs to go to super markets to see what I'm saying even local market is full of men or u see men stand by the car while women goes in to buy.

To be honest, I don't know the kind of men some ladies roll with but in my circle, homes, friends, environment all u mentioned are not exclusively women's thing again.

On the issue of meat, the op said he will buy food in bulk which is what I do, do u care to know exactly what he will buy in bulk? Meat, fish, chicken can also be bought in bulk and the supplement could be some things that got exhausted before the next bulk purchase which could even be rice not necessarily meat.

What I see here is small mind, if op's list was interpreted by me, he has done majority of the house spending but all this depends on mind set. I noticed women buys things in small quantity all the time while men buys things in large quantity once every 3 months or so, this might affect ur interpretations or op's girlfriend interpretation, it took my wife quite a while before she got used to bulk purchase of food stuff including meat or any thing at all.
Infact op's list is more or less our list in my house except the vacation things, my wife supplement the food stuff pending the time I will make d next bulk purchase.

On cable subscription, yes my wife pays for it even though it was not mandated by me I normally pays 6 to 12 months advanced subscription and when dstv messed up my subscription by mismanaging my advanced payment I vow never to give dstv my money again and I downgraded to only cartoon channels for my kids but she picked it up because it affected her own entertainment.

Like I v said, this things is mind set, any lady that have a big mindset will care to know the details of op's list before she bolt because if I interpretes op's list, the lady should be very happy to take the responsibility except the vacation thing.

Ladycewhy:
There is nothing here that states that the lady in question is not prudent tho,it's just your assumptions working on your reality. If she wasn't prudent a stingy dictator like the op would not even think of marriage with her.


Yes she ran, there are deal breakers and red flags, taking the devil's deal is not must . She isn't that desperate to bear Mrs and take just any deal.


Like someone suggested below he should get a woman who hands over her salary to him. Just because there are women out there who can take such a deal doesn't make the lady a non wife material. Make una nor dey yarn opata like that ,is stupid and childish.

As the saying goes different strokes for different folks , that she rejected this deal doesn't mean she won't make a good wife to a more reasonable man.

Calling him stingy despite contributing 80% of his income shows the entitlement mentality of average Nigerian girls.
Yes some things in that list are outrageous, it shows he doesn't even know what day to day running of family is but calling him stingy with this plan is very wrong.

Do u noticed op even shot himself in the foot by saying he will buy car and maintain it which includes fueling the car? I hope u know transportation is out of her concern?

He said hospital bills will be his also.

Ladies are just mad that the guy dear to plan the woman's income into the family which is how it should be in the first place but they way daughters are brought up, they tend to think it is wrong.

zimach:


Abeg help me ask o. on top how much?? 80k salary Na real wah. How much is left for her needs? What of her tfare and at miscellaneous to her work place or home

Oga make she japa abeg.

The guy he will buy car and maintain it.

Cocao:
There is nothing wrong with financial planning. In fact I am glad that the OP is thinking that way and all couples should emulate that. What I have a problem with is the income disparity and the amount of her contribution.

By the time she removes all of that, say 50k, it only leaves 30k for her own needs, which may not be enough. And you earn times 3 of her salary. Pity her small.

If you want that kind of contribution, look for a woman with a higher income, maybe around 200k to complement you.

On the other hand, how has she been living with the 80k?

Its all about compromise, OP, try and see.

We can't say he should look for women that earns more otherwise who will marry the one than earn less if everybody just looks for high income earner, men can be acting like women.

However I feels Op should just remove some unnecessary spending such as vacation from that list. It is extremely unnecessary to contribute more that 10% of ur income on vacation because their are other things we do as a family that is much more important than that, example is building/buy ur home. I believe the budget would have been reasonable if it that vacation was for mortgage and the said lady wouldn't have felt drown. In all things being said, the lady also have entitlement mentality if she truly told her friends he is stingy.

Killermamba:


That is too much na, at least 20k from her is enough, she nor dey pay transport go work? She nor go eat or buy things for herself? Abi na u wan dey buy pad too? Or she nor get family to support? Guy this your plan be like say u nor wan her to progress at all.

Do u read where he said he will buy and maintain cars.

People needs to define this things from the beginning as he has done otherwise women will feel it is ur responsibilities to handle yours, family and thier needs while they hold on to their own and occasionally drop when they see that u are sinking. I learn in a hard way before I realized that I don't have saving nor can I provide for my parents while my wife spends lavishly on her parents and siblings because she doesn't contribute much at home.
I stealthily transfered some responsibilities to her without her even knowing, by the time she realized it, I v already made it her obligation and I'm dumping more as time goes on.

Now I can plan for other things that is of concern to the future of our family such as building house for us.

Twoclans:
I really wish more women can voice out ,everytime I log into nairaland and see all this small boys abi small men saying Nugerian women do not contribute to the family i usually ask myself if it is this same Nigeria that I see alot of women hustling and fending for their homes completely with the man being a complete liability.

The nature of my job puts me on the move always ,as it is I have three apartments in different states and I know what I see almost on a daily basis.

I really do not think any woman should be shamed because she refused to contribute to a home that she could be driven away from the next minute especially in this country that does not protect women at all.

U need to understand that many modern girls are extremely unhelpful when it comes family responsibilities, u can even deduce from some comments u read here.

I will never say all of them are irresponsible about family contribition because their are substantial number of them who are, but in all honesty many are not. I can even use my friend's circle as example, many are working and hustling day and night but are always tight handed toward family to support their husband, they feels they can only contribute once he is in tight corner and if they do the whole family and friends will know about it.

However the old women, uneducated women and non materialistic/unsophisticated women are opposite, they tends to be committed to their family, contribute their best to support their homes and some are even the bread winner in their home.

dobnina:

Oga, you are selfish. Thank God she left you. You are the head of the family so all the responsibility falls on you.
Will you also share house chores with her? Will you share pregnancy with her? Will you share the stress in the Labour room with her?
You are just being selfish. Man up and take all your responsibility and stop acting like a gigolo.

Ahha

Ok, your husband is acting childishly.

Mine is 88.38GB

I watch alot of documentaries on YouTube via hotspot.

Pauldollars:


Bros never compare Tiktok and Google.
They operate differently.
If you need an urgent information online, is it Tiktok you use?

You brought google into discussion and u are saying they are different things. If u think they are different, why did u bring google into d discussions in the first place.

That was why I said I don't know where to start explaining things to u.

Pauldollars:


Na Chinese you come this World come learn? Abi you want to be colonised by China.
China uses Tiktok and other media as a tool to compete with the Western social media outfits in her quest to dominate the World. Don't be deceived bro. Nothing much to learn dere

I don't even know where to start my explanation from, the only thing to tell u is that tiktok has gone beyond video and it is evolving into learning apps.

Forumobserver12:


Very convenient for you to Insinuate that it was orchestrated to coverup fraud, can you tell us more about the fraud they intend to cover up?

Go back and read it slowly, make sure u take note of the word might and if possible confirm very from ur dictionary.

Pauldollars:


As long as you can't get much information from there other than funny videos and posts, its not as important as Google. Its only a top online destination coz a lot of young people rush there to post there videos for likes. That's all.

Says who?
Right now I'm learning Chinese on it. Tiktok has gone beyond funny videos and YouTube and and others have started to copy Tiktok's model.

jrusky:


Are you sure of what you are saying bro

If that shop belong to Dangote or Adenuga will you still say same thing

So fire that broke out in different part of Nigeria in 2019 and early this year are also a target fire

Pls be very sure of your statement before saying it this fire could be an accident but you are already going tribal claiming victim as usual.

Do u mind them?
Always looking for ways to play victim and twist things but if it was otherway round they will rejoice and claim nemesis or say it is well deserves.

mancanoe:
Now the road has been cleared for H-MEDIX...

They are not into similar core area, Hmedix is drugs and provision store while next cash and carry is much more than that.

But why do u people always look for somebody else to blame for accidents that might have been internally orchestrated to cover up fraud.

Tallesty1:
This story no add up.

It's either the woman is lying or she's not a good story teller.

She started by telling us what a horrible man the husband is. I was already having doubts, wondering if she was actually telling the truth or if she was trying to make herself the victim.

Seems the later was the case because she kinda shot herself on the leg when she said that her husband always reports to her parents. He tells them everything she do wrong and they always end up calling a meeting.

What are these things she do wrong? She didn't say.

I could be wrong though but I think the OP has been abusing this man emotionally for a while now.

She got physical finally and slapped him which to her was too far. She realized it later I guess. She was hoping he would call a meeting as usual and she would be blamed as usual and everybody will go back to their house but he didn't and that scares her.

She's scared because there's something ominous behind the silence.

U are one in millions of average Nigerians.

Many Nigerians don't know how to decifer the truth out of oneside of the story, the first to report a case and paint a scenario is who they support and vilify the other party without consideration that majority of people will paint themselves as Saint while the party they are reporting will always be evil.
No wonder Nigerian police also act this way because they are selected from the pool of people who reasons this way.

ok

The problem of OPPO find X series is that oppo did not focus on a particular niche to be better than other flagship, therefore no reason for people to look up to their next series.
The find X1 provided practical solution to front facing camera which gave them exposure, X2 is not different from One plus 8 Series and X3 focused on another thing entirely which is micro camera, the camera almost replicates microscope.

I don't think this strategy will take them far in the industry.

@Kaynnedy Contact NAPTIP as soon as possible.

Ok

Ok

Ok

This is not new, anybody that is conversant with Abuja and all this government agencies knows this.

NCC, National Export promotion Council, Nexim Bank, FIRS, Custom, CBN, FMBN, Ministry of Defence, Ministry of works and Housing, Accountant General, NNPC, Bank of Industry, NSITF, PENCOM/PENSIONS BOARD, AMCON, Bureau of public procurement, NEMA, PETF, PDTF, Nigerdelta Ministry etc if u are a minister, MD, perm sec, Director etc in all this organization, u are sitting on more money than many state governors, infact only few state governors can compete with CBN governor, NNPC GMD, minister of Defence, custom controller General and FIRS boss.

Penguin2:
When the chips are down, they look for an Igbo man to help them fix the mess.

Just like they know that only an Igbo man can get Nigeria out of its present quagmire but stupid primordial sentiments won’t let them give an Igbo man power.

We are fixers!

We are developers!

Allow an Igbo man fix Nigeria’s mess!

Lol always chest beating. I blame detribalised Otedola and other Yoruba goons. We know what will happen if it was Obi and co.

They have started gathering themselves to loot the country again.

Like I said I wish the youth can just arrange themselves and force out all this blood sucking devilish PDP and APC instead of yeye endsars protestest sponsored by PDP.

I just wish both pdp and apc will just disappear.

They will use it to mock u if it is presumed low or bill you if it is high.

Ok