Sheenor's Posts
Nairaland Forum › Sheenor's Profile › Sheenor's Posts
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 (of 66 pages)
At SS1 me and my best friend Nicho liked the same girl. She was so iffy about the two of us. One day she would like me, the next day she would like him, blah blah blah. |
Okay, rip to her once again sha.......... |
MansaMoussa: |
Oh my Oh my...... This is cool. #GMB/OSIBANJO #EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY #VOTE FOR CHANGE |
#GMB/OSIBANJO #EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY #VOTE FOR CHANGE |
juman:Exactly my point sir. This is my first time ever of public display support for buhari, i don't like that man for one day, buh i recently have change of mind. Pdp has really failed us. #GMB/OSIBANJO #EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY #VOTE FOR CHANGE |
#GMB #OSIBANJO #EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY #VOTE APC #VOTE FOR CHANGE |
amsoslim:That should be south africa... I love it tho. ℓ☺ℓ |
See her face like that of something i cannot say ℓ☺ℓ.... Thief is clearly written all over her face.. Ole lasan. |
Shame on #Gej #GMB #OSIBANJO #EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY #VOTE APC #VOTE FOR CHANGE |
#GMB #OSIBANJO #EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY #APC #CHANGE |
The peoples general....... #GMB #OSIBANJO #EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY #APC #CHANGE |
Hallelujah |
Hard luck |
STARSHYNE:Same to you dear, how you |
Am seeing things *in wiskid voice* |
IfyAwazie:Indeed |
Aww ........lovely indeed. |
Good for him... |
Religion in this country has cause more harm than good....am still wondering wah happen to Peace and Love. Smh |
Am not needed here neither so am gonna leave too ![]() |
Prophet Isaiah was sent by God, to goKnow something new today....hallelujah! |
Wole Soyinka and Chinua Achebe are two names synonymous with Nigerian fiction, yet the literary output of the country is far from limited to these two greats. Here, we look at ten authors whose international success and reputation attest to their talent, and to the depth in contemporary Nigerian literature. 1. Wole Soyinka (b. 1934) ‘The greatest threat to freedom is the absence of criticism.’ When Wole Soyinka, a playwright, poet and writer won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1986, Achebe joined the rest of Africa to celebrate the first African to receive the award. Soyinka’s writing often focuses on oppression and exploitation of the weak by the strong; none are spared in his critique, neither the white speculator nor the black exploiter. Wole Soyinka has also played an important role in Nigerian politics, which has at times exposed him to great personal risk. The government of General Sani Abacha (1993–1998), for instance, pronounced a death sentence on him ‘in absentia’. His works include novels such as Aké: The Years of Childhood and Death and the King’s Horseman. You Must Set Forth at Dawn: A Memoir is Soyinka’s own look at his life, experiences, and thoughts about Africa and Nigeria. 2. Chinua Achebe (1930-2013) ‘If you don't like someone's story, write your own.’ Chinua Achebe is one of the most internationally- acclaimed writers from Africa, and his death in 2013 saw an outpouring of tributes from across the globe. Though he has often been called ‘The Father of Nigerian Literature’, he twice refused the Nigerian government’s attempt to name him Commander of the Federal Republic – first in 2004, then again in 2011 – in protest against the political regime of the country. His first novel Things Fall Apart (1958) is an intimate account of the clash between African native traditions of the Igbo people in southeastern Nigeria and European colonisation. Weaving together oral tradition with Igbo folk tales, Achebe’s works reveal a tapestry of cultural norms, changing societal values, and the individual’s struggle to find a place in this environment. 3. Femi Osofisan (b. 1946) ‘Nowadays, / When the strong fight the weak, it’s called / A Liberation War / To free the weak from oppression.’ - Women of Owu As with many Nigerian writers, Femi Osofisan’s oeuvre – encompassing plays, poems and novels – is informed by colonialism and its legacy, and is a clear protest against corruption and injustice. Nonetheless, his exploration of the themes surrounding the complex history of his country are rarely literal. Instead, Osofisan employs allegory and metaphor, and his writing often has a surrealist bent. His first novel, Kolera Kolej (1975) tells the story of a Nigerian University campus that is granted independence from the rest of the country in order to halt the spread of a Cholera outbreak. His best- known play, Women of Owu (2004) is a retelling of Euripides’ The Trojan Women. Osofisan translates the play to the Ijebe and Ife war that devastated the Owu Kingdom in 1821-26. 4. Ben Okri (b. 1959) ‘To see the madness and yet walk a perfect silver line. ... That's what the true story-teller should be: a great guide, a clear mind, who can walk a silver line in hell or madness.’ — Birds of Heaven Ben Okri is a renowned novelist and poet whose written works defy definition. He is often termed post-modern, yet his seamless interweaving of the spirit world into his stories belies this genre. Yet the author also rejects claims that his work falls into the ‘ magical realism’ category, seeing his writing not as a venture into the realm of the fantastic but instead a reflection of an upbringing wherein myths, ancestors and spirits were an intrinsic component. ‘Everyone’s reality is different,’ he once said. His most famous work is The Famished Road (1991), part of a trilogy – with Songs of Enchantment and Infinite Riches – that chronicle the journeys of Azaro, a spirit-child narrator. 5. Buchi Emecheta (b. 1944) ‘God, when will you create a woman who will be fulfilled in herself, a full human being, not anybody’s appendage? she prayed desperately.’ — The Joys of Motherhood Born in Lagos to Igbo parents, Emecheta moved to London in 1960 to live with her husband Sylvester Onwordi, who had moved there to study. The couple had been engaged since the age of 11, and whilst the marriage produced five children, Onwordi was a violent partner; he even burned her first manuscript, prompting Emecheta to leave him and establish herself as a single mother. Her novels draw heavily from her own life and address gender imbalance and enslavement, and how women are often defined through the narrow framework of sexuality or the ability to bear children. Her most acclaimed work, The Joys of Motherhood (1979), has as its protagonist a woman who defines herself through motherhood, and validates her life solely through the successes of her children. Emecheta was awarded an OBE in 2005. 6. Sefi Atta (b. 1964) ‘She says the lesson to learn is that the world is round, which means that if I run too fast i might end up chasing the very homeland I am running from.’ Sefi Atta is a sensitive writer, who broaches polemical themes in a subtle and nuanced manner. Everything Good Will Come (2005), her debut novel, is the story of Enitan, an eleven- year-old girl waiting for school to start, and her friendship with the girl next door; a relationship that receives little support from Enitan’s deeply religious mother. Set against the backdrop of the military rule of Nigeria in the 1970s, it is at once coming-of-age-tale and quiet campaign against political corruption and the repression of women. Atta is widely known for her radio plays, which have been broadcast on the BBC, and her short stories, that have appeared in a number of journals including the Los Angeles Review. 7. Helon Habila (b. 1967) ‘Life is seen as an ongoing war between art and philistinism - and although the philistines may win some of the battles, it is literature that always wins the war.’ After graduating from University of Jos in 1995, Helon Habila worked first as a junior lecturer in Bauchi, then as Stories Editor for Hints magazine, before moving to England in 2002 to become the African Fellow at the University of East Anglia. That same year, his first novel was published: Waiting for an Angel is a complex book that interweaves seven narratives, collectively speaking of life under dictatorship rule in Nigeria. The book won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize in the African region, spurring the author to greater success. His two subsequent novels, Waiting for Time (2007) and the latest, Oil on Water (2011) were equally well-received, and the list of awards and honors the Habila has gained attest to his sophisticated and poetic literary voice. 8. Teju Cole (b. 1975) ‘Perhaps this is what we mean by sanity: that, whatever our self-admitted eccentricities might be, we are not villains of our own stories.’ — Open City Born in the US to Nigerian parents, raised in Nigeria and now living in Brooklyn, Cole’s upbringing is as peripatetic as his career; photographer, art historian and novelist, he is also Distinguished Writer in Residence at Bart College, New York. Open City (2011), his debut novel, is set in New York five years after 9/11, and follows Julius, a psychiatry graduate, as he wanders aimlessly first through the city, then as he travels to Brussels, rootless and on the rebound from a previous relationship. Whilst the geographical locations play a fundamental role in the novel, the narrative above all reads as a mapping of Julius’ inner world, as the divergent references and meandering associations woven into its structure mirror often inexplicable thought processes. He has previously published a novella, Every Day is for a Thief (2007), and he is currently working on a non- fictional narrative of contemporary Lagos. 9. Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani (b. 1976) ‘His advice went in my ear and did a U-turn right out. Like most teenagers, I was sure that my father knew nothing about life.’ Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani is a novelist, journalist and essayist who from an early age demonstrated an affinity for the written word, winning her first writing prize aged 13. As a journalist, she has contributed to the New York Times, the BBC, the Guardian and CNN, amongst others. Her debut novel I Do Not Come to You By Chance (2010), is told in a witty and irreverent tone that belies the fundamental issues it addresses. Opara for his family, the book’s protagonist, Kingsley, is unable to find work, and so turns to the shady world of email confidence tricks. The 419 scams are too often cited by xenephobes and racists as the main export of Nigeria, yet Adoabi addresses this contentious issue with humour and lightness, instead creating a story of family, aspiration and the hard lessons that come with age. 10. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (b. 1977) [i]‘I think you travel to search and you come back home to find yourself there.’ Chimamanda is part of a new generation of Nigerian authors swiftly growing in reputation, and each of her three novels have garnered universal acclaim and a slew of awards. Her first two books dealt largely with the political atmosphere of her native country through the prism of personal and familial relationships. Purple Hibiscus (2003), winner of the Commonwealth Writer’s Prize for Best First Book, tells the story of the fifteen-year-old Kambili, whose father is mysteriously involved with a military coup that destabilizes the country. The publication of Half of a Yellow Sun (2006) confirmed the author has a uniquely talented voice; set amidst the Nigerian- Biafran war, it chronicles the everyday horrors of the war through the differing lives of its four protagonists. Her latest novel, Americanah (2013), is at its heart an enduring love story between Ifemulu and Obinze, childhood sweethearts who are separated when one goes to study in America; nonetheless, it still manages to take in such themes as racism, immigration and globalization. |
We are pleased to introduce MOD Education, the foremost international education promotion and marketing company with operations deeply rooted in Nigeria and covering the West Africa sub-region. Our company was established to bridge the gap between Nigerians who desire to acquire international education and a choice of institution offering a combination of high quality education, most ideal study location, cost-effectiveness and essentially, a ready source of support while abroad. Since the opening of our doors for the commencement of operations (in Lagos, Nigeria), at the end of 2004, we have successfully placed well over 700 students, into a range of undergraduate and postgraduate courses/programmes in our partner universities abroad. Testimonials MOD played the ultimate role in my progress into the University of Hertfordshire, UK. They were there to ensure my admission, IFP and visa support." "I am glad my masters is now a reality. Despite the fact that my visa was applicaction was late, MOD processed my papers successfully" "My postgraduate programme at Robert Gordon University, is now a success courtesy of MOD Education. I could always call my dedicated counsellor.." Universidad Europea de Madrid Robert Gordon University Register through this link http://modeducation.info/fair2015/ index.php?ref=MOD76509030 You also stand a chance to win an Iphone 6, Blackberry Z3 or Infinix Zero. Good luck |
Justeenaleo:Haha , funny you...i get the drift dearie, you don't have to spit it out. ℓ☺ℓ ![]() |
What I have documented here is a guide for girls to help them live happily. Of course, fathoming a girl’s mind is impossible and I have since long given it up. So what I have here instead is an unofficial classification of guys that you might come across in your everyday life. This being the season of hook-ups and matchmaking, I thought it might prove to be helpful. However, there’s something that is acknowledged universally – no matter how much you try to make them happy, humans will find a way to misery and sufferings. And girls, being almost as human as human beings, aren’t very different. So although this write up aims at helping the fairer of the two sexes, I doubt if it will succeed. So here we go – the guys classified. Guys who feel they do not belong to any of the categories list, kindly forgive my ignorance. A word of caution: Girls who fantasize about kissing frogs, swinging with spidermen and galloping with Sir Galahad, the great, better stop right here. 1. The “ITs”: Ready-made marriageable materials. Never had an affair with another girl. High pay. Foreign trips guaranteed and will own a car. For girls who love shopping – they are jackpots. However, most of them being Computer engineers, Electrical engineers, Mechanical engineers or some such engineers, they do not really know how to treat girls which can be remedied with a little training. The conversations are restricted to email hacking, job shifting and pay hikes. The most worrying fact however is a recent survey, which indicates a lowering libido in these guys. (WHOOPS!!!) Hook-up quotient: 7.08714/10 Where do you find them: Every second person you meet. The “MBAs and the corporates”: He is better than what he was before he did his MBA. With training in conversation skills, he will keep you interested. He is a bit too mechanical and also the smile on his face is usually frozen. Will have loads of friend- girls who will be beautiful and smart enough to make you jealous and suspicious. Of course, he will have enough excuses at hands if he gets late and comes home drunk. Hook-up quotient: 6.333/10 How do you find them: The vernacular simpleton who now talks only in English. The “NRN”s (Non Resident Nigeria): The lucky bastards!! Yes indeed, the luckiest. His average salary when converted into Naira is more than that of the IT-guy. Has an accent to impress you along with the stories that happen “abroad”. Being tired of a number of flings with Edo and Ibo girls, the guy wants to settle with a simple yoruba girl. The girl would of course end up being a cook and maid to his house. But that’s the way things go. Hookup quotient: 9.998/10 Where do you find them: Nairaland.com The ICD (I care damn) flirts: The guys the girls will go out with. Dele and me recently came up with this theory after some logical arguments: Me: Girls have a choice to be happy…but they wont be which is just natural Dele: yeah I always wonder… why that is so natural Me: I guess they have a fondness for misery It’s like this… Misery breeds misery. So the guy become miserable . Then the girls have someone to be motherly with and take care of which is again their natural instinct, I guess. Dele: yup, we guess. So this is that guy girls shouldn’t be with but will always end up being with. The guy knows how to make the girl happy. Right from the start he will let her know that he doesn’t believe in commitment. And all this does is turn on the girl. Good times will ensure. Heated arguments will follow. You will break up with him only to realize that he wasn’t with you at all. The girl will end up marrying the “IT” guy or an “NRN”. Hookup quotient: 1.665*10^34/10 Where do you find them: The guy riding a bike with a T-shirt that says, “Denial is a good thing if used correctly” The “friend”ly guy: The most lovable idiot. He will always be around. Mind you he is in love with you but will never let you know and get drunk on the day you get married and some years later will take your kids to the zoo. Of course since he won’t be asking you out, there’s not much you can do. However, if you do like him, it’s not a bad idea to emotionally blackmailing him to the limit until he confesses his feelings. Girls will stay happily ever after but of course that makes life very boring and these things never happen. The beer and the zoo take their own course. Hook-Up quotient: 1.5521/10 Where do you find them: There’s one around every girl The last and also the least:… The Artist’'s” Oh, just leave them alone. They are just harmless souls. The last of all the options and always available. Hook-up quotient: minus 85.68825555/10 Where do you find them: Ask yours’ truly ℓ☺ℓ. |
So someone said, some people have loads of time at their hands. An hour later, I realized that he was referring to me. Of course the truth is far from it. i am a terribly busy person interested in how nature works and all that nonsense which goes around. What I have here is a simple proof for one of the laws of nature – The Murphy’s law. A bit of background: The law is a very fundamental law of … I am not sure if it belongs to science. I guess it belongs to mathematics and has something to do with probability theory or as Douglas Adams would have said, something to do with improbability theory. The law has been around for ages just like the law of gravitation. People knew all that goes up comes down (except whatever sticks to the ceiling) but still couldn’t grasp gravity until Newton did it. Similarly, Murphy’s Law was around for centuries. The simple statement of Murphy’s Law is “If there is something that can go wrong, then it will.” Ramayan, Mahabharat have abundant examples of Murphy’s Law. Origin of life, which again according to Douglas Adams was a big mistake, can again be considered as an example of Murphy’s Law. To cut a long story short, Murphy’s Law has been around for ages until someone figured it out. (It wasn’t Murphy by the way) Before I give a simple and elegant proof about the existence of Murphy’s Law, let me put some more statements of this fascinating law. A slice of buttered bread, when dropped, will always land butter-side down. Variant: The probability a slice of buttered bread falling butter-side down is directly proportional to the price of carpet. The day you forget your umbrella, it pours with rain. Corollary: Taking an umbrella to make it rain will cause a draught. For every foolproof system you make, there would always exist a better fool. Your printer will always jam the night before something important is due. The wind will always blow in the direction of the non-smoker. The line next to the one you are in will always be much quicker. Variant: The other queue always moves faster. Murphy’s Philosophy: “Smile…tomorrow will be worse.” Murphy’s Constant: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. Murphy’s law of thermodynamics: Things always go wrong under pressure. So now that you know what is Murphy’s Law, here’s a piece of my brain. The proof for Murphy’s Law. Statement 1: Every important law that exists obeys Murphy’s Law. Statement 2: For every law to exist there is a need for an exception. (Exceptions prove the law) Statement 3: Murphy’s Law never fails. (Things will always go wrong) Statement 4: That means Murphy’s Law doesn’t obey Murphy’s Law and thus in an exception to itself. So logically connecting Statement 1, 2, 3 and 4 we deduce that Murphy’s Law holds true and exists. [color=Green]So next time when you publish an article and check for all the spellings thrice and yet manage to overlook a simple spelling, just remember that its nature at its best.[/color] |
This one is gross. This could be funny but it’s still gross. Particularly the fairer of the two sexes could find it, particularly gross. So if you are a goody-goody kind of a person who doesn’t like to read gross things – stop right here. Now that I know that you aren’t grossed out by things that are indeed gross – let’s start. This one concerns men. Women folks somehow always seem to have a man of their dreams. At times it could be somebody like Davido, Jim iyke, Van Vicker, Dbanj, 2Baba, Seun Osewa, Sina Rambo or Superman – anybody. As far as men go, they want to imitate these men. Somebody wants to be a Wole Soyinka while someone else might want to become a Ramsy Noah (or Majid Micheal if you are talking about me ℓ☺ℓ) to impress a particular girl of his respective dreams. Now you’ll say – “well, what’s so gross about all this?” Well, men and women, as you fantasize and imitate these men, does it occur to you as to how these men behave in a public toilet? Ummm…okay, that’s gross! Right! Stop right here because from next paragraph onwards you are going to be introduced to different types of men depending on their behavior in a public lavatory. Now, since you are reading this, I assume that you are mentally tough and so with this, I start my classification of men depending on their – well, pissing behavior. 1. The Shy Guy This guy is – shy. What he needs is a complete privacy when he does his stuff. First thing he does when he enters the loo is that he checks if the lavatory is almost empty. An empty lavatory is like a dreamland for him. Then what he does is, he occupies the cubicle at the extreme end – the last one. If that’s unavailable, he selects one which has unoccupied nearest neighbors. Once he gets the cubicle of his choice, his gaze is focused on what he is doing. His eyes don’t wander about. Just does his thing quietly and goes away. Problem comes when, out of nowhere, somebody comes and stands besides him. Even worse when the other person starts a casual chitchat with him. Under such conditions, despite the rising pressure, this guy cannot pee. He stands there for a while just pretending that he is pissing, flushes the toilet and runs away. He then comes back half an hour later and goes through the above- mentioned routine again. The fact that this guy could be a cool dude outside the toilet has nothing to do with his toilet shyness. Amongst famous people who could belong to this category are Lynxx, Sound Sultan, Seun Osewa, Davido. This Men, from their previous interview you will know they are shy individual. 2. The ‘Pee’ker This guy has nothing better to do than peek into the next cubicle. He is the ultimate nightmare of the shy guy. I have no clue as to what sadistic pleasure he gets by peeking. Now, he doesn’t stop here. Peeking is still – well, grudgingly acceptable but this guy starts to comment on your anatomy. Its freaking pathetic to hear a comment like “whoa, so big” or a stifled laughter. YUCK! Famous people: Jim Iyke, Olamide, Reminisce. 3. ‘Pee’thovens (alright, sorry for this pathetic pun) This guy creates amazing sound effects in the loo. To start with, he needs a sort of hissing sound to get his leak started – sssss…Then comes a sigh of relief, “AAAhhhh…” like an Arab who’s found an Oasis. The come a “uuufff…” if his job doesn’t get over in 38 seconds. Its a boon that man cannot make all sorts of sounds, or else a men’s toilet would be full of sounds – from a waterfall to a tornado or even an ocean may be. Famous person: Odunlade Adekola 4. The stand backs These guys are like those cricket players who always find a name in the 15 member team but can never break into the playing eleven. Come what may, these guys will always prefer to stand behind somebody who is pissing. Even though there could be six other empty cubicles, this guy would stand in line. The intention of this guy is still not clear to me. It could be a prank or just sheer habit or may be a numerological preference for some cubicle. Famous People: Wizkid, Sina Rambo 5. Flying Zippers The funniest of the lot. This guy is perhaps too lost in himself. Even before he has entered the toilet, his zippers are off and he walks shamelessly unaware of other people’s wild and horrified gazes and begins his job, no sooner has he reached his cubicle. Zero time lag. However, this guy is not a shameless freak. He is plain absent minded. Famous people: 2 baba, D banj, Jim iyke 6. Literature Laureate While his left hand ensures that the lavatory remains clean, his right hand is busy writing/drawing something on the wall. These guys are artists with apparently no muse. Their creativity blossoms only while they are peeing. Most of the drawings they make are ideal examples of female anatomy – men’s toilets are full of such artistic masterpieces. Some of them could even make a biology book bow down in shame. But the real geniuses are the one’s who write. The graffitists. The advices they write about life are worth following. Life would indeed become better. Certain examples of what they write: a) Stop reading start pissing. (wow) b) Turn to your back. (At the back) Turn to your right. (On Right) Turn to your left. (On left) “Dude, life is too precious to spend looking around in a public urinal. Piss off. (How true!) Famous People: Wole Soyinka, Kelvin Okafor, Ayeola Ayodeji. 7. Movers and shakers Now the literature guy also writes “No matter how hard you shake, the last drop is always in your underwear.” This is a fact of life and you have to accept it and move on. But then there is always this guy who just seems so stuck up. He refuses to acknowledge it. This guy belongs to the movers and shakers type. After he is done, he shakes his whatever…vigorously and for a long time. It really looks pathetic from back. Famous Person: Afonja Olaniyi a.k.a Sanyeri 8. Pleeeeeease This guy enters into the loo only in case of extreme emergency and always when the toilet is full. He gives an amazing expression of agony and pain personified and begs others to allow him to break the line. You have to give in after looking at his pathetically distorted face. Famous person: John Okafor a.k.a Mr. Ibu 9. The quick ones Another mystery. How these guys do it, I do not know. They finish peeing in 5-8 seconds. Complete mystery. At times I have wondered if these people really do anything. Could be a shy guy in disguise. Famous People: Van Vicker. 10. Dirty Harry Hate them. They do not believe in the use of good old H2O. They neither wash their own hands nor do they flush. Bad! Bad! Famous People: I don't know Ooº°°ºoo. Right on girls – these are your dream guys. Chose carefully. Guys – these are your heroes. Follow ‘em cautiously. [size=22pt]Note from the author: I would like to apologize if somebody’s religious sentiments are hurt. Comments of course are welcome.[/size] Tags: Seun, r231, Freiburger, farano |
That name Maxwell, ~.•°``°☺нєнєнєнє☺°``°•.~ am feeling the boy tho. |
rapmike:Nah bad, awesome i say....how u doin ova thr |
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 (of 66 pages)

