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Sheenor's Posts

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Romance › My Ss Class Relationship. by Sheenor(op): 4:30pm On Jan 17, 2015
At SS1 me and my best friend Nicho liked the same girl. She was so iffy about the two of us. One day she would like me, the next day she would like him, blah blah blah.

That's just how SS classes relationships were. The girl FINALLY told me that she liked me more and we ended up dating but she told me not to tell my friend Nicho because she didn't want to make him feel bad. I was real good at keeping secrets too.

He had no idea.

One day, about a month later, she was sick and stayed home from school. At lunch I sat next to Nicho (which I normally didn't get to do because she sat between us) and we were talking about her and how mad we were that she wouldn't just pick between us and I felt so bad

I just had to tell him.

This is exactly how our conversation went.

"Nicholas."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I can't keep this a secret any longer. Keren told me not to tell you. I'm going out with her."

"Oh my God! She told me exactly the same too, said
Nicholas."

*hmmm, some girls sha*

Eleven years later Nicholas and I are still best friends and Keren is now a lesbian.

*Such is life.*
Celebrities › Re: African Artistes Unite For Kefee by Sheenor: 2:34pm On Jan 16, 2015
Okay, rip to her once again sha..........
Politics › Re: How The Elections Are Already Being Rigged - Vanguard by Sheenor: 7:29pm On Jan 15, 2015
MansaMoussa:
Nonsense! While the Average Northerner is willing to stand in the Harmattan Cold from Dawn till Dusk to collect his PVC, His Eastern Counterpart would rather Stay in his Shop and expect INEC to bring the PVCs to him there!

Go and Collect Your PVCs and stop ranting on Media!
Politics › Re: #febuhari T-shirts by Sheenor: 10:43am On Jan 14, 2015
Oh my Oh my......

This is cool.

#GMB/OSIBANJO

#EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY

#VOTE FOR CHANGE
Politics › Re: Please Give Reasons Why Unemployed Nigerian Graduates Should Vote GEJ by Sheenor: 10:41am On Jan 14, 2015
#GMB/OSIBANJO

#EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY

#VOTE FOR CHANGE
Politics › Re: Buhari: Why Yorubas Must Never Forget - Olurotimi Adeola by Sheenor: 10:40am On Jan 14, 2015
juman:
I also don't like buhari (a military general and a man of useless generation), but another four years for pdp in aso rock is no no.

16 years was enough for pdp to put nigeria on the path of greatness, pdp fails.

Another set of people should be tried.

We need 24/7 electricity, a new president is needed to fix the power sector.
Exactly my point sir.

This is my first time ever of public display support for buhari, i don't like that man for one day, buh i recently have change of mind. Pdp has really failed us.

#GMB/OSIBANJO

#EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY

#VOTE FOR CHANGE
Politics › Re: Lets Stop "VIOLENCE/TERORISM" And Not "CORRUPTION" Should Be Our Watch-words by Sheenor: 10:35am On Jan 14, 2015
#GMB

#OSIBANJO

#EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY

#VOTE APC

#VOTE FOR CHANGE
Politics › Re: Most Dangerous Cultural Practices On Earth with pictures:::::::::::::::::::::: by Sheenor: 10:34am On Jan 14, 2015
amsoslim:
Dunno wre dis is but I fink ya shuld al c dis pix...
That should be south africa...

I love it tho. ℓ☺ℓ
Politics › Re: Stella Oduah, Kicked Out Of Anambra Senate Contest by Sheenor: 10:31am On Jan 14, 2015
See her face like that of something i cannot say ℓ☺ℓ....

Thief is clearly written all over her face..

Ole lasan.
Politics › Re: 5 Question Obasanjo Asked GEJ In The Presence Of Two Pastors by Sheenor: 10:27am On Jan 14, 2015
Shame on #Gej


#GMB

#OSIBANJO

#EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY

#VOTE APC

#VOTE FOR CHANGE
Politics › Re: Nigeria Has 68.83million Registered Voters -jega by Sheenor: 10:23am On Jan 14, 2015
#GMB
#OSIBANJO
#EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY
#APC
#CHANGE
Politics › Re: Gen Buhari In A Meeting With Shehu Shagari (Throwback Pic) by Sheenor: 10:11am On Jan 14, 2015
The peoples general.......

#GMB
#OSIBANJO
#EL RUFAI FOR CROC CITY
#APC
#CHANGE
Christianity Etc › Re: Sermon That Touches The Heart: The Day My Boyfriend And I Went To Church by Sheenor: 7:08am On Jan 13, 2015
Hallelujah
Romance › Re: . by Sheenor: 2:52am On Jan 12, 2015
Hard luck
Jokes Etc › Re: PHOTO: Direct Road To 'OTUOKE Village by Sheenor: 2:04am On Jan 12, 2015
STARSHYNE:
Hey! Happy new year
Same to you dear, how you
Fashion › Re: Hilarious Photos Of Bride With The Mostawful Wedding Dresses You’ll Ever See! by Sheenor: 6:47pm On Jan 11, 2015
Am seeing things *in wiskid voice*
Politics › Re: Caption This by Sheenor: 6:33pm On Jan 11, 2015
IfyAwazie:
Tales by moonlight.
Indeed
Jokes Etc › Re: PHOTO: Direct Road To 'OTUOKE Village by Sheenor: 6:31pm On Jan 11, 2015
Aww ........lovely indeed.
Politics › Re: Akinwumi Ambode Displays His Certificates To Debunk Rumours by Sheenor: 6:29pm On Jan 11, 2015
Good for him...
Christianity Etc › Re: Religion Is Killing Us..... by Sheenor: 6:28pm On Jan 11, 2015
Religion in this country has cause more harm than good....am still wondering wah happen to Peace and Love. Smh
Nairaland General › Re: So Confused Your Name Or Your Family Or Father's Name which is proper? by Sheenor: 6:25pm On Jan 11, 2015
Am not needed here neither so am gonna leave too cheesy
Politics › Re: A Biblical Analogy In Support Of Father Mbaka's Statement Against GEJ. by Sheenor: 6:23pm On Jan 11, 2015
Prophet Isaiah was sent by God, to go
and meet king Hezekiah who was ill
and tell him that in quote "The LORD
tells you that you are to put everything
in order because you will not recover.
Get ready to die."
This is what King Hezekiah did; Hezekia
turned his face to the wall and prayed
in quote " Remember, Lord, that I have
served you faithfully and loyally, and
that I have always tried to do what you wanted me
to" And he began to cry bitterly.
Now this is the bomb!
The Lord commanded Prophet Izaiah to go back to
King Hezekiah and say to
him, " I the LORD the God of your
ancestor David, have heared your
prayer and seeen your tears; I will let
you live 15 (fifteen years) longer. ISAIAH 38 VS 1-4
Know something new today....hallelujah!
Literature › From Wole Soyinka to Adichie: Top Ten Nigerian Authors by Sheenor(op):
Wole Soyinka and Chinua Achebe are two names synonymous with Nigerian fiction, yet the literary output of the country is far from limited to these two greats. Here, we look at ten authors whose international success and reputation attest to their talent, and to the depth in contemporary Nigerian literature.


1. Wole Soyinka (b. 1934)

‘The greatest threat to freedom is the absence of criticism.’ When Wole Soyinka, a playwright, poet and writer won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1986, Achebe joined the rest of Africa to celebrate the first African to receive the award.

Soyinka’s writing often focuses on oppression and exploitation of the weak by the strong; none are spared in his critique, neither the white speculator nor the black exploiter. Wole Soyinka has also played an important role in Nigerian politics, which has at times exposed him to great personal risk.

The government of General Sani Abacha (1993–1998), for instance, pronounced a death sentence on him ‘in absentia’. His works include novels such as Aké: The Years of Childhood and Death and the King’s Horseman. You Must Set Forth at Dawn: A Memoir is Soyinka’s own look at his life, experiences, and thoughts about Africa and Nigeria.

2. Chinua Achebe (1930-2013)

‘If you don't like someone's story, write your own.’

Chinua Achebe is one of the most internationally- acclaimed writers from Africa, and his death in 2013
saw an outpouring of tributes from across the globe.

Though he has often been called ‘The Father of Nigerian Literature’, he twice refused the Nigerian
government’s attempt to name him Commander of
the Federal Republic – first in 2004, then again in
2011 – in protest against the political regime of the
country. His first novel Things Fall Apart (1958) is an
intimate account of the clash between African native
traditions of the Igbo people in southeastern Nigeria and European colonisation. Weaving together oral tradition with Igbo folk tales, Achebe’s works reveal a tapestry of cultural norms, changing societal values, and the individual’s struggle to find a place in this environment.


3. Femi Osofisan (b. 1946)

‘Nowadays, / When the strong fight the weak, it’s
called / A Liberation War / To free the weak from
oppression.’
- Women of Owu


As with many Nigerian writers, Femi Osofisan’s
oeuvre – encompassing plays, poems and novels – is informed by colonialism and its legacy, and is a clear protest against corruption and injustice.
Nonetheless, his exploration of the themes surrounding the complex history of his country are rarely literal. Instead, Osofisan employs allegory and metaphor, and his writing often has a surrealist bent. His first novel, Kolera Kolej (1975) tells the story of a Nigerian University campus that is granted independence from the rest of the country in order to halt the spread of a Cholera outbreak. His best- known play, Women of Owu (2004) is a retelling of Euripides’ The Trojan Women. Osofisan translates the play to the Ijebe and Ife war that devastated the Owu Kingdom in 1821-26.

4. Ben Okri (b. 1959)

‘To see the madness and yet walk a perfect silver line. ... That's what the true story-teller should be: a great guide, a clear mind, who can walk a silver line
in hell or madness.’
— Birds of Heaven


Ben Okri is a renowned novelist and poet whose written works defy definition. He is often termed post-modern, yet his seamless interweaving of the spirit world into his stories belies this genre. Yet the author also rejects claims that his work falls into the ‘ magical realism’ category, seeing his writing not as a venture into the realm of the fantastic but instead a reflection of an upbringing wherein myths, ancestors and spirits were an intrinsic component. ‘Everyone’s reality is different,’ he once said. His most famous work is The Famished Road (1991), part of a trilogy – with Songs of Enchantment and Infinite Riches – that chronicle the journeys of Azaro, a spirit-child narrator.


5. Buchi Emecheta (b. 1944)

‘God, when will you create a woman who will be
fulfilled in herself, a full human being, not anybody’s appendage? she prayed desperately.’
— The Joys of Motherhood


Born in Lagos to Igbo parents, Emecheta moved to
London in 1960 to live with her husband Sylvester
Onwordi, who had moved there to study. The couple had been engaged since the age of 11, and whilst the marriage produced five children, Onwordi was a violent partner; he even burned her first manuscript, prompting Emecheta to leave him and establish herself as a single mother. Her novels draw heavily from her own life and address gender imbalance and enslavement, and how women are often defined through the narrow framework of sexuality or the ability to bear children. Her most acclaimed work, The Joys of Motherhood (1979), has as its protagonist a woman who defines herself through motherhood, and validates her life solely through the successes of her children. Emecheta was awarded an OBE in 2005.


6. Sefi Atta (b. 1964)

‘She says the lesson to learn is that the world is round, which means that if I run too fast i might end up chasing the very homeland I am running from.’

Sefi Atta is a sensitive writer, who broaches polemical themes in a subtle and nuanced manner. Everything Good Will Come (2005), her debut novel, is the story of Enitan, an eleven- year-old girl waiting for school to start, and her friendship with the girl next door; a relationship that receives little support from Enitan’s deeply religious mother. Set against the backdrop of the military rule of Nigeria in the 1970s, it is at once coming-of-age-tale and quiet campaign against political corruption and the repression of women.

Atta is widely known for her radio plays, which have
been broadcast on the BBC, and her short stories,
that have appeared in a number of journals including the Los Angeles Review.


7. Helon Habila (b. 1967)

‘Life is seen as an ongoing war between art and
philistinism - and although the philistines may win
some of the battles, it is literature that always wins
the war.’


After graduating from University of Jos in 1995, Helon Habila worked first as a junior lecturer in Bauchi, then as Stories Editor for Hints magazine, before moving to England in 2002 to become the African Fellow at the University of East Anglia. That same year, his first novel was published: Waiting for an Angel is a complex book that interweaves seven narratives, collectively speaking of life under dictatorship rule in Nigeria. The book won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize in the African region, spurring the author to greater success. His two
subsequent novels, Waiting for Time (2007) and the latest, Oil on Water (2011) were equally well-received, and the list of awards and honors the Habila has gained attest to his sophisticated and poetic literary voice.


8. Teju Cole (b. 1975)

‘Perhaps this is what we mean by sanity: that, whatever our self-admitted eccentricities might be, we are not villains of our own stories.’
— Open City


Born in the US to Nigerian parents, raised in Nigeria and now living in Brooklyn, Cole’s upbringing is as peripatetic as his career; photographer, art historian and novelist, he is also Distinguished Writer in Residence at Bart College, New York. Open City (2011), his debut novel, is set in New York five years after 9/11, and follows Julius, a psychiatry graduate, as he wanders aimlessly first through the city, then as he travels to Brussels, rootless and on the rebound from a previous relationship. Whilst the geographical locations play a fundamental role in the novel, the narrative above all reads as a mapping of Julius’ inner world, as the divergent references and meandering associations woven into its structure mirror often inexplicable thought processes. He has previously published a novella, Every Day is for a Thief (2007), and he is currently working on a non- fictional narrative of contemporary Lagos.


9. Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani (b. 1976)

‘His advice went in my ear and did a U-turn right out. Like most teenagers, I was sure that my father knew nothing about life.’

Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani is a novelist, journalist and
essayist who from an early age demonstrated an
affinity for the written word, winning her first writing prize aged 13. As a journalist, she has contributed to the New York Times, the BBC, the Guardian and CNN, amongst others. Her debut novel I Do Not Come to You By Chance (2010), is told in a witty and irreverent tone that belies the fundamental issues it addresses.

Opara for his family, the book’s protagonist, Kingsley, is unable to find work, and so turns to the shady world of email confidence tricks. The 419 scams are too often cited by xenephobes and racists as the main export of Nigeria, yet Adoabi addresses this contentious issue with humour and lightness, instead creating a story of family, aspiration and the hard lessons that come with age.


10. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (b. 1977)

[i]‘I think you travel to search and you come back home to find yourself there.’ Chimamanda is part of a new generation of Nigerian authors swiftly growing in reputation, and each of her three novels
have garnered universal acclaim and a slew of awards. Her first two books dealt largely with the political atmosphere of her native country through the prism of personal and familial relationships. Purple Hibiscus (2003), winner of the Commonwealth Writer’s Prize for Best First Book, tells the story of the fifteen-year-old Kambili, whose
father is mysteriously involved with a military coup
that destabilizes the country. The publication of Half
of a Yellow Sun (2006) confirmed the author has a
uniquely talented voice; set amidst the Nigerian- Biafran war, it chronicles the everyday horrors of the war through the differing lives of its four protagonists.

Her latest novel, Americanah (2013), is at its heart an enduring love story between Ifemulu and Obinze, childhood sweethearts who are separated when one goes to study in America; nonetheless, it still manages to take in such themes as racism, immigration and globalization.
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Romance › Re: A Girls’ Guide To Misery And Happy Living by Sheenor(op): 11:02am On Jan 08, 2015
Justeenaleo:
Lol
Artists!!!
I no go ever leave them, they don't talk much, even eyeing one now (not you op)
Haha cheesy, funny you...i get the drift dearie, you don't have to spit it out. ℓ☺ℓ wink
Romance › A Girls’ Guide To Misery And Happy Living by Sheenor(op): 8:28pm On Jan 07, 2015
What I have documented here is a guide for girls to help them live happily. Of course, fathoming a girl’s mind is impossible and I have since long given it up. So what I have here instead is an unofficial classification of guys that you might come across in your everyday life.


This being the season of hook-ups and matchmaking, I thought it might prove to be helpful. However, there’s something that is acknowledged universally – no matter how much you try to make them happy, humans will find a way to misery and sufferings. And girls, being almost as human as human beings, aren’t very different. So although this write up aims at helping the fairer of the two sexes, I doubt if it will succeed. So here we go – the guys classified. Guys who feel they do not belong to any of the categories list, kindly forgive my ignorance.

A word of caution: Girls who fantasize about kissing frogs, swinging with spidermen and galloping with Sir Galahad, the great, better stop right here.



1. The “ITs”:

Ready-made marriageable materials. Never had
an affair with another girl. High pay. Foreign trips guaranteed and will own a car. For girls who love shopping – they are jackpots.

However, most of them being Computer engineers, Electrical engineers, Mechanical engineers or some such engineers, they do not really know how to treat girls which can be remedied with a little training. The conversations are restricted to email hacking, job shifting and pay hikes. The most worrying fact however is a recent survey, which indicates a lowering libido in these guys. (WHOOPS!!!)

Hook-up quotient: 7.08714/10

Where do you find them: Every second person you
meet.


The “MBAs and the corporates”:

He is better than what he was before he did his MBA. With training in conversation skills, he will keep you interested.

He is a bit too mechanical and also the smile on
his face is usually frozen. Will have loads of friend-
girls who will be beautiful and smart enough to make you jealous and suspicious. Of course, he will have enough excuses at hands if he gets late and comes home drunk.

Hook-up quotient: 6.333/10

How do you find them: The vernacular simpleton
who now talks only in English.

The “NRN”s (Non Resident Nigeria):

The lucky bastards!! Yes indeed, the luckiest. His
average salary when converted into Naira is
more than that of the IT-guy. Has an accent to
impress you along with the stories that happen
“abroad”.

Being tired of a number of flings with Edo and Ibo girls, the guy wants to settle with a simple yoruba girl. The girl would of course end up being a cook and maid to his house. But that’s the way things go.

Hookup quotient: 9.998/10

Where do you find them: Nairaland.com

The ICD (I care damn) flirts:

The guys the girls will go out with.
Dele and me recently came up with this theory
after some logical arguments:

Me: Girls have a choice to be happy…but they
wont be which is just natural

Dele: yeah I always wonder… why that is so
natural

Me: I guess they have a fondness for misery
It’s like this…
Misery breeds misery.

So the guy become miserable
. Then the girls have someone to be motherly
with and take care of which is again their
natural instinct, I guess.

Dele: yup, we guess.

So this is that guy girls shouldn’t be with but will
always end up being with. The guy knows how to
make the girl happy. Right from the start he will let
her know that he doesn’t believe in commitment.
And all this does is turn on the girl. Good times
will ensure. Heated arguments will follow. You will
break up with him only to realize that he wasn’t
with you at all. The girl will end up marrying the “IT” guy or an “NRN”.

Hookup quotient: 1.665*10^34/10

Where do you find them: The guy riding a bike
with a T-shirt that says, “Denial is a good thing if
used correctly”

The “friend”ly guy:

The most lovable idiot. He will always be around.
Mind you he is in love with you but will never let
you know and get drunk on the day you get
married and some years later will take your kids to
the zoo.

Of course since he won’t be asking you out, there’s
not much you can do. However, if you do like him,
it’s not a bad idea to emotionally blackmailing him
to the limit until he confesses his feelings. Girls
will stay happily ever after but of course that
makes life very boring and these things never
happen. The beer and the zoo take their own
course.

Hook-Up quotient: 1.5521/10

Where do you find them: There’s one around every
girl


The last and also the least:…

The Artist’'s”

Oh, just leave them alone. They are just harmless
souls. The last of all the options and always
available.

Hook-up quotient: minus 85.68825555/10

Where do you find them: Ask yours’ truly ℓ☺ℓ.
Education › Murphy's Law Proved by Sheenor(op): 8:56am On Jan 07, 2015
So someone said, some people have loads of time
at their hands. An hour later, I realized that he was
referring to me. Of course the truth is far from it. i am a terribly busy person interested in how nature works and all that nonsense which goes around. What I have here is a simple proof for one of the laws of nature – The Murphy’s law.


A bit of background:

The law is a very fundamental law of … I am not sure if it belongs to science. I guess it belongs to mathematics and has something to do with probability theory or as Douglas Adams would have said, something to do with improbability theory.

The law has been around for ages just like the law of gravitation. People knew all that goes up comes down (except whatever sticks to the ceiling) but still couldn’t grasp gravity until Newton did it.

Similarly, Murphy’s Law was around for centuries. The simple statement of Murphy’s Law is “If there is something that can go wrong, then it will.”

Ramayan, Mahabharat have abundant examples of
Murphy’s Law. Origin of life, which again according to Douglas Adams was a big mistake, can again be considered as an example of Murphy’s Law.

To cut a long story short, Murphy’s Law has been around for ages until someone figured it out. (It wasn’t Murphy by the way)

Before I give a simple and elegant proof about the
existence of Murphy’s Law, let me put some more statements of this fascinating law.

A slice of buttered bread, when dropped, will
always land butter-side down.

Variant: The probability a slice of buttered bread
falling butter-side down is directly proportional to the price of carpet.

The day you forget your umbrella, it pours with
rain.

Corollary: Taking an umbrella to make it rain will
cause a draught.

For every foolproof system you make, there would
always exist a better fool.

Your printer will always jam the night before
something important is due.

The wind will always blow in the direction of the
non-smoker.

The line next to the one you are in will always be
much quicker.

Variant: The other queue always moves faster.
Murphy’s Philosophy: “Smile…tomorrow will be worse.”

Murphy’s Constant: Matter will be damaged in
direct proportion to its value.

Murphy’s law of thermodynamics: Things always
go wrong under pressure.

So now that you know what is Murphy’s Law, here’s a piece of my brain. The proof for Murphy’s Law.

Statement 1: Every important law that exists obeys
Murphy’s Law.

Statement 2: For every law to exist there is a need for an exception. (Exceptions prove the law)

Statement 3: Murphy’s Law never fails. (Things will
always go wrong)

Statement 4: That means Murphy’s Law doesn’t obey Murphy’s Law and thus in an exception to itself.

So logically connecting Statement 1, 2, 3 and 4 we deduce that Murphy’s Law holds true and exists.


[color=Green]So next time when you publish an article and check for all the spellings thrice and yet manage to overlook a simple spelling, just remember that its nature at its best.[/color]
Politics › Re: Don’t Be Deceived By Osinbajo, PDP Tells Lagosians by Sheenor: 8:38pm On Jan 05, 2015
personal59:
I promise I won't be deceive until I hear what sambo gat to tell me I promise o
grin grin grin
Nairaland General › Ten Classification Of Men by Sheenor(op): 1:31pm On Jan 03, 2015
This one is gross. This could be funny but it’s still gross. Particularly the fairer of the two sexes could find it, particularly gross. So if you are a goody-goody kind of a person who doesn’t like to read gross things – stop right here.

Now that I know that you aren’t grossed out by things that are indeed gross – let’s start.

This one concerns men. Women folks somehow always seem to have a man of their dreams. At times it could be somebody like Davido, Jim iyke, Van Vicker, Dbanj, 2Baba, Seun Osewa, Sina Rambo or Superman – anybody. As far as men go, they want to imitate these men.

Somebody wants to be a Wole Soyinka while someone else might want to become a Ramsy Noah (or Majid Micheal if you are talking about me ℓ☺ℓ) to impress a particular girl of his respective dreams.

Now you’ll say – “well, what’s so gross about all this?”

Well, men and women, as you fantasize and imitate these men, does it occur to you as to how these men behave in a public toilet? Ummm…okay, that’s gross! Right! Stop right here because from next paragraph onwards you are going to be introduced to different types of men depending on their behavior in a public lavatory.

Now, since you are reading this, I assume that you are mentally tough and so with this, I start my classification of men depending on their – well, pissing behavior.



1. The Shy Guy

This guy is – shy. What he needs is a complete privacy when he does his stuff. First thing he does when he enters the loo is that he checks if the lavatory is almost empty. An empty lavatory is like
a dreamland for him. Then what he does is, he occupies the cubicle at the extreme end – the last one. If that’s unavailable, he selects one which has
unoccupied nearest neighbors. Once he gets the cubicle of his choice, his gaze is focused on what he is doing. His eyes don’t wander about. Just does his thing quietly and goes away. Problem comes when, out of nowhere, somebody comes and stands besides him. Even worse when the other person starts a casual chitchat with him. Under such conditions, despite the rising pressure, this guy cannot pee. He stands there for a while just pretending that he is pissing, flushes
the toilet and runs away. He then comes back half an hour later and goes through the above- mentioned routine again. The fact that this guy could be a cool dude outside the toilet has nothing to do with his toilet shyness. Amongst famous people who could belong to this category are Lynxx, Sound Sultan, Seun Osewa, Davido. This Men, from their previous interview you will know they are shy individual.


2. The ‘Pee’ker

This guy has nothing better to do than peek into the next cubicle. He is the ultimate nightmare of the shy guy. I have no clue as to what sadistic pleasure he gets by peeking. Now, he doesn’t stop
here. Peeking is still – well, grudgingly acceptable but this guy starts to comment on your anatomy.

Its freaking pathetic to hear a comment like “whoa, so big” or a stifled laughter. YUCK! Famous people: Jim Iyke, Olamide, Reminisce.


3. ‘Pee’thovens (alright, sorry for this pathetic pun)

This guy creates amazing sound effects in the loo. To start with, he needs a sort of hissing sound to get his leak started – sssss…Then comes a sigh of relief, “AAAhhhh…” like an Arab who’s found an
Oasis. The come a “uuufff…” if his job doesn’t get over in 38 seconds. Its a boon that man cannot make all sorts of sounds, or else a men’s toilet would be full of sounds – from a waterfall to a tornado or even an ocean may be.
Famous person: Odunlade Adekola


4. The stand backs

These guys are like those cricket players who always find a name in the 15 member team but can never break into the playing eleven. Come what may, these guys will always prefer to stand
behind somebody who is pissing. Even though there could be six other empty cubicles, this guy would stand in line. The intention of this guy is still not clear to me. It could be a prank or just sheer
habit or may be a numerological preference for some cubicle.
Famous People: Wizkid, Sina Rambo

5. Flying Zippers

The funniest of the lot. This guy is perhaps too lost in himself. Even before he has entered the toilet, his zippers are off and he walks shamelessly unaware of other people’s wild and horrified gazes
and begins his job, no sooner has he reached his cubicle. Zero time lag. However, this guy is not a shameless freak. He is plain absent minded.
Famous people: 2 baba, D banj, Jim iyke

6. Literature Laureate

While his left hand ensures that the lavatory remains clean, his right hand is busy writing/drawing something on the wall. These guys are artists with apparently no muse. Their creativity
blossoms only while they are peeing. Most of the drawings they make are ideal examples of female anatomy – men’s toilets are full of such artistic masterpieces. Some of them could even make a biology book bow down in shame.
But the real geniuses are the one’s who write. The graffitists. The advices they write about life are worth following. Life would indeed become better. Certain examples of what they write:

a) Stop reading start pissing. (wow)

b) Turn to your back. (At the back) Turn to your right. (On Right) Turn to your left. (On left) “Dude, life is too precious to spend looking around in a public urinal. Piss off. (How true!)

Famous People: Wole Soyinka, Kelvin Okafor, Ayeola Ayodeji.


7. Movers and shakers

Now the literature guy also writes “No matter how hard you shake, the last drop is always in your underwear.” This is a fact of life and you have to accept it and move on. But then there is always this guy who just seems so stuck up. He refuses to acknowledge it. This guy belongs to the movers and shakers type. After he is done, he shakes his whatever…vigorously and for a long time. It really looks pathetic from back. Famous Person: Afonja Olaniyi a.k.a Sanyeri

8. Pleeeeeease

This guy enters into the loo only in case of extreme emergency and always when the toilet is full. He gives an amazing expression of agony and pain personified and begs others to allow him to break the line. You have to give in after looking at
his pathetically distorted face.
Famous person: John Okafor a.k.a Mr. Ibu

9. The quick ones

Another mystery. How these guys do it, I do not know. They finish peeing in 5-8 seconds. Complete mystery. At times I have wondered if these people really do anything. Could be a shy guy in disguise.
Famous People: Van Vicker.

10. Dirty Harry

Hate them. They do not believe in the use of good old H2O. They neither wash their own hands nor do they flush. Bad! Bad!
Famous People: I don't know Ooº°°ºoo.


Right on girls – these are your dream guys. Chose carefully.

Guys – these are your heroes. Follow ‘em cautiously.



[size=22pt]Note from the author: I would like to apologize if somebody’s religious sentiments are hurt. Comments of course are welcome.[/size]

Tags: Seun, r231, Freiburger, farano
Literature › Re: Why I Want To Be Bad - A Story by Sheenor: 10:12am On Jan 02, 2015
That name Maxwell, ~.•°``°☺нєнєнєнє☺°``°•.~ am feeling the boy tho.
Literature › Re: Tade - The Rise Of An Activist. by Sheenor: 9:14am On Jan 02, 2015
rapmike:
Thanks, how is it so far?
Nah bad, awesome i say....how u doin ova thr

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