₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Slayer2 post=62068419][/quote]Hahahahaha

Martin0:
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Since 'how was ur night?' is the most used
question on FB, so can I ask how was ur night
friends? Lol.. Let's smile joor!
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Please,Why is it that when women cut their
hair, their makeup becomes ten times heavier
and the earrings three times bigger? Why?
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If ur boyfriend is using GLO subscription, marry
him, Patience is in his DNA.
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Leggings with no Ass ... Is like a wallet without
cash. Argue with ur ancestors.
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Psquare will be singing 'nobody ugly' as if they
have been to Imo Poly. Umuagwo.
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Ladies, please avoid guys that speak big
grammars. I would have said most of them are
naturally stingy but I dont do gossip.
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Dear Calabar boys, it is ' fifty naira notes each'
not ' pipty pipty naila'.
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Some girls know 1000 ways to catch a guy
cheating, but don't know 5 ways to keep a Guy
happy.
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When you get home and find out that
somebody ate the food you were thinking
about all day.. But why Lord?
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GF: what do you think of our Love
Martin : count the stars in the sky.
GF: wow.. It is infinty.
Martin : No! It is a waste of time.
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Life is too short to ask a stammerer for
directions, my brodas and sistas.
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I know a girl here who used 6,500 naira to snap
studio pictures last 2 weeks just for her
birthday. Up till now, she has just 14likes and 3
comments. It is a pity.
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have you noticed ? Nigerian beggars now sit
close to the ATM machines..
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Please, to all those girls who wear too much
make-up.. Take it easy biko nu.. It is a face not
a colouring book.
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Funny guys are dangerous sha.. You will laugh,
laugh, laugh, laugh and laugh, next minute u
take off the pant.
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You are Tagging Me With your BF Pics, For
What? Am I him? Are Him Me? Me Are Him?
He Are Me? No Wait.. He I am? I he Him? I Me
Him? Answer Me ehn!
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Welcome to strange world of social media
where we open #Facebook, more than
#Holy_Book (Quran/Bible)... May God forgive
our shortcomings.
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Only on facebook here 45 years old man thanks
17 years old girl for accepting his request, but
never thanks his wife for feeding him.
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We live in a strange time where the #rich has
more rooms than children and the #poor has
more children than rooms.
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That same friends that can't #lend you 2000
naira while you are #alive, will #pay 5000 naira
for #RIP_T-shirt when you die. #ThatsLife
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Living in the favourable and unfavourable
situation is called "PART OF LIFE", But smiling
in all those situations is called "ART OF LIFE".
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My Igbo brothers love money so much that
their "morning greetings" is now "Nwanne
money o" and their reply is
now "onye isi money sir".
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why is it that in every zeeworld movies, one
idiot go loss his/her memory? Na so mad pple
plenty 4 india?
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Apart frm kongi and shayo, which other bastard
do u know?
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bros, If u need my number tell me, dont ask
me if am on whatsapp!
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funny how parents become grandpareents nd
all of a sudden, dey realise der ar oda ways 2
train a child apart frm beating a child
mercilessly.
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Nigerian movies av taught me dat one day a
rich woman wud knock me down with his fine
car nd we wud fall in love thereafter.
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My Ex GF be lyk, martin i am dating u, nd it is
only u. The other guys u see or hear about are
the ones dating me, arh swear am not dating
dem back.
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Do you know? Research has proven dat some
evil FB friends will never like ur post even if u
take a selfie in heaven.
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Mums has always been greatest savage..
Martin : mummy I no belle full ooo.
Mum: Drink water !
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It takes divine intervention to differentiate
between 'don't stop' and 'don't. Stop'.
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Guys, do u know dat 75% of d girls u walked
past today stared at ur zip nd imagined d size
of ur hung? Ladies do dis subconciously. Abi na
lie?
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Truth be told, i av neva seen a muslim make
jokes with muhammed d way some christians
make jokes wt our Lord Jesus Christ..
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Dear Nigerian Landlords, it is Quit notice not
Quick notice. Small thing, i go give u quick
notice oo..
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My broda, If a female doesn't inbox u back, jus
know she has viewed ur profile pic and said 'no
no no'.
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A girl is neva single, either u take her frm
some1 or share her with some1.
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In Nigeria, behind every successful man is a
good woman
behind every successful woman is people
wondering who she slept with.
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Bae, please don't fall in love before u pray ova
dat relationship.
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Most Nigerians does not know the diff between
education and schooling.
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U are eating wt ur Boo nd u are tagging me..
Ayam not understanding, am I to wash plates?
Ansa me now..
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Some girls think they are not attractive because
they don't look like the girls that get
worshipped on social media nd that is
unfortunate.
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Girls, dnt u get sad when you open a packet of
peanut, only to find it is 30% filled? That is
exactly how guys feel when they open ur
padded breasts.
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Someone said, 'they will marry one igbo man's
daughter and he will use the bride price to
bring up the remaining 11 children. Ndi igbo is
this true ?
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Boyfriend that can't be snatched isn't a
boyfriend.. Na Goat him be.
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Some girls really think having a big ass is a
Master's degree.
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Come facebook, which one is help fadairo chidi
and 17 others celebrate their birthday. Am I
their father?
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Must you check his DP before u will reply him
ehn Aunty slayMama.
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My neighbour just brought in one fine girl
laidat, nigga is running upandan to be nice. oh
Lord, let the girl be on her period. Fornication
aint allowed. I am not jealous, i am jus
concerned.
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Late replies are actually the worst. U tell
someone u are upset at '07:09pm' and they ask
why at ' 11:36pm'... I am okay now aunty..
Lemme alone.
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Just know you are single when you don't care if
your phone is dying.
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My broda take life easy, jollof rice wey dey for
bottom pot today go dey for top of inside
cooler tomorrow.
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When babe tells u ' u know I love u right?' . Just
ask her how much she wants. No time..
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Even people in Naija with me are updating
'winter is here'. My dear, stop that nonsense.
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Buy flowers for Naija babes and they be lyk,
baby return it nd use d money to send
Airtime.... True or False?
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American mentality..

Daughter: Mum, i am going to visit my friend.

Mum: okay darling, dnt forget to get d cookies.

British mentality...

Mum: okay Janey, be home before 8pm
Nigerian mentality...

Daughter: mama, i wan reach nnkechi side oo.

Nigerian Mum: have u done ur home work?
Have u watch the plates? Have you cut the ugu
leaf? The beans i ask u to pick nko? To carry
belle dey hungry u abi? Infact, kneel down
there! Hands up nd close ur eyes.
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Any Lawyer you see that is very smallish in
nature, please fear them o. They can send u to
jail free of charge.
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When a relationship ends, the competition of
who pretend to be happier on social media
starts.. Fact!
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If u are single like me, stop worrying. God is
saving us for special people. People worth the
wait. People who will never take us for granted.
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u tell a Nigerian about ur problem and dey turn
it into 'problem olympics'. Dey be lyk.. 'arrhh,
ur own even better, na my own worst pass'.
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Responsible ladies look attractive not SEXY!
Those are two diff things, guys be careful what
u desire.

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If u av neva been betrayed before in ur life,
then u must be the one who av been betraying
others.

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If she does not kiss you before sex, believe me
she is a runs girl.

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If ur birthday is 9months from your fathers
birthday, just know dat ur mum used you as
birthday Gift.
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Slay Queens will be failing exams like mad but
will be passing pregnancy tests with flying
colours!
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#i greet una ooo
(Lefulefu&shaybbaby)
(Shinarlaura&gypsey)
(Lalas247&Erhm)

Every other friens I hail una ooo;

Lol.. mo be small thing oo

Martin i dey see u

lefulefu:
oh na slim babes be ur weakness?...i see.my own weakness na a round bouncy ukwu.i just love ukwucious babes...i dont know why.make a girl just twerk her azz for my face and i am in heaven

Ass man

Slayer2:
Oh okay, yes I grab now uncle lefu and she is slim. Just the kind of shit when they bring out the beast in me. I can go crazy for a slim chick. I nor know wether them swear for me with them. And this period them come they flock around me like say I be e money, I get like 2 presently when I wan die put there matter, we just they like ourselves like say na government work

Chaiiiii. Na woman matter go kill u

iamJ:
[color=#59576F] I like ladies dominating me too, but i will break u first then allow u to do ur thing

A girl that is not rude and proud can neva understand me

Guy ur problem is not a problem, its a good problem


Nothing gets me hard like wen a girl slaps my face [/color]


#No Filter Attitude

My ex broke up with me for no reason. He didn't give me any reason so we went our separate ways. After a year, we met again and i asked him why he decided to let go our relationship. He told me that i was too good and calm for him. He wanted a rude girl. Someone who will confront him in a fight. Someone who would at times slap him. I was just like .
Some guys (even some girls) are just like that. So I'm not even surprise

clevervikson:
Beating wey I receive plenty sha both from parent or elder ones or even school teacher. I remember in my Jss1 first term after writing exam I was told i came 5th by some kind amebo girls. me self my gra gra make me tell everybody for house say out of 70 i carry 5th. just for Friday wey i collect result and see say na me carry 10th. the performance although good sha but pain me.
My niqqa wey carry 47th say u make we go change result . na so i follow change my result to 5th. afta mumsy see the result she just tell my uncle to carry me back to school to receive our principal cain. the man flog me like criminal thank God say every student don go house. since then even to tick for my result the hard me

Lol..u were such a stubborn child

AnaCheks:
.... Different kind of beatings..... Mehhnn mine was in primary 3 ooo, i used the money meant for my drawing paper to buy bundle of rubber band, that time i used to be champion in shooting rubber band hanged on any wall. My maid reported me to my dad cos i refused to wash d plates she was asked to wash......
The flogging na Alpha and Omega walahi, i was tied on the center table... I fainted and strokes of cain woke me up again

Hahahahaha

EternalTruths:
No problem even if you are base in Heaven, I will join you there.


So which country are you based.?

Hahahahaha

Cameroun

EternalTruths:
You are beautiful.

Where are you based.?


Would love to hang out with you in order to know you better.

Thank u but i am not based in Naija

Lalas247:
Hey, what’s up ?

I m cool.


I have a very serious gist for u

TEAMvido:
igbo men and ladies take note ...
this is for you ....
una too like money ...??
why ?
ehn...

Lol

Lalas247:
Haha man like lefu :Dmy niggas from another

Hey dear

NLevents:
it will be my pleasure to see you too

yes but not fluent in it though .

Ok but atleast i ll have someone with whom i can speak.

arleck:
This Wan na soldier o!

i'm nt comming anymore

Hahahahaha.. funny u


I'm harmless we ll just enjoy ourselves

NLevents:
yea I'm coming to naija because of the party and you are one special person I wanna see there,at least it will be two of us from a francophone country
lol you are even asking whether I am coming,we get the party.

so I hope you start planning now because I don't want to hear excuses

Ok... let me start preparing.. looking forward to see u..

You speak french right?

NLevents:
naija
and it will please me if you make it to the nairaland get together party we are organizing.

Ok..

Normally i was supposed to be there abt three weeks ago but i had some issues. If i m free by then, why not.

Are u going to be there?

NLevents:
no I haven't

and when will you like to visit

Togo?

Or

Naija?

ProudtobeaMUMUM:
I said you are a patriot not a parrot

Oh sorry..

Don't mind me.

Yeah i am

NLevents:
hey shinar js8 toujour la

so have you been to Togo before?

Non..jamais

Et toi?

Have u been to Cameroon before?

ProudtobeaMUMUM:
You are a patriot

Me?

So i talk too much eh

ProudtobeaMUMUM:
support him on all social media outlets

Ok ooo

Funny guy

ProudtobeaMUMUM:
Hope you are supporting baba

Can a non Nigerian vote?

NLevents:
Let me officially welcome you to the Nigerian forum. Hope you are learning good things about us

Thank u

Oh i ve learned soo much.. i actually know what's happening there almost everday

Drink lots of water and take lots of fruits too

NLevents:
I am based in Togo but I am Nigerian

Ok... that's cool.

I am a Cameroonian

NLevents:
So what country?

Cameroon

NLevents:
Oh, I have been wrong all along

Lol...yeah

NLevents:
Why wouldn't you be able to make it?

Because i am not in Naija

NLevents:
I am inviting you specially Laura

I wish i could make it

It would be a great pleasure

Hmmm.. this one strong oo...

He s a cheat, a gay and cheated on u with ur own brother.. three in one .

I can't say i know how u feel but all i can tell is be strong and go.

Seek the Face of God.

Please God, never put me in such a situation.

naijamakossa:
lol I have noticed that too

Lol.. i thought it was only here

naijamakossa:
hey,how you doing?

I'm cool. It's been a while how's everything.



Goodmorning