Why does anyone want to return to their vomit?

No gift. . . . . We will only throw it away when we get a new man.

How does my statement fall into ur response?

Besides according to the nigerian men I talk to those old ways, at least for yorubas, are just that old ways, yes the women of old would adress their husbands daddy (insert childs name) and the husbands would adderss the wives mommy (insert childs name),

The old ways r being presented as present day ways which I think is really sad to do esp. When there r people reading here and taking this as gospel. Stop painting nigerian men as mouth breathing basterds.

Inked_Nerd:


And why would she have to verify with you that her hymen was intact? Suppose it wasn't?

She volunteered that information to her father and I on her last physical before she went to Uni. She says she did it as a show of respect for the trust her father and I have placed with her.

If it wasn't then that would have been her mistake for volunteering the information. We never requested it from her. And if it was not intact then we would have had to have a conversation about BC and why she did not get it, because here in the States after 16 medical history is private and she can get BC on her own w/o our knowledge.

If all or most Nigerian men are so bad then why this man in his 40's is so good?

ElRazur:

Hmmm you never heard of Team work? Is the concept of working as a team strange to you?

For example, we may need a new sofa at home, I show girl friend different options we can afford, she picks one, I disagree, I then pick one, she disagree, then we finally reach a compromise. (This is the part the decision is made) and we order the new sofa, job done.

But by using the definition of our culture, a man sees a sofa, he pays for it without consulting the preferences the GF may like because he works for it and simply because he is the man? I think that is the type of man you like. Sorry o.

Actually those small petty things like sofas are left up to me to decide. Do I spend 5k or 10k on that sofa is left for him to decide.

We have two girls. One in Uni, first year, and one a pre teen. And we have been up front and honest with both of them regarding sex. The one in Uni allowed her doctor to verify with us that her hymen is still intact. Being upfront and honset takes the secrecy and deceit out of sex.

Plus they dont learn mis-information from thier peers. . . they learn the truth from us.

I dont believe that there can be equal parties in a marriage.

One person has to make the final decison and has to bear the weight of that decison.

ElRazur:

You are right, it is not a dirty word. But it is a dirty and almost degrading practice.

not if done properly. . . . I am married to a Nigerian man. . . . and I am submissive to that man. . . .yet still I am not a doormat. . . .

These types of things again are discussed during the vetting period in a r/s.

ElRazur:

Do I have to make it clear to you that the definition of submission in our culture is almost like "losing all your self will" and become almost a mindless zombie in order to make things work with your man.

Again this is something that should be discussed during the vetting period.

Submission is not a dirty word.

albridge:

do i really have to say this again? in any organization, in any institution, even in heaven, there is a head. thats the way things were designed for there to be order and progress. either women submit to men or men submit to women. there cant be two captains calling the shots in one ship.    do it any other way and you are asking for chaos. women take note  

[size=18pt]AMEN[/size]

Being submisive does not mean being a doormat. . . .I think too many women confuse the two.

ElRazur:

Try reading the thread, what she said and what was subsequently posted, and BANG, her problems become obvious.

She wants a man to spoil her.  She never said she cant do it on her own w/o his help.  She wants her man to spoil her.

The tone a woman sets in the dating period is what she can expect when you are married.  If he cant do it when we are dating he wont do it when we are married.  Is not the dating period the time to properly vet your mate.

I don't understand the problem.

She wants a man that will spoil her.  So do I and I have one.

My dad was/is the true head of his house.  In being the true head of your house you take care of your wife and children.  So my mom worked and when she got prego each time she took off a year to stay at home with the children and dad held it down.  When my baby sister was born dad had mom take off 5 years then told her she could go back to work if she wanted to.

Mom raised the babies. . . dad brought home the bacon and mom cooked it. . . dad always got the "big piece of chicken". . . .mom did not have to worry about the minor details.

But don't get it wrong when mom was single she did her thing.  College educated, great job, own place, paid her bills and held it down.  Dad came along and wooed her off her feet and showed her what a real man does for his family.

I expect nothing less.  I expect that all the heavy lifting will be done by my husband or soon to be husband.  A man shows a woman his ability  to support his family in the way that he treats her during the courting.

Keep in mind my dad is white and mom is black.

SA Goddess:

Your man status is being reviewed!

Man status is refused. . . . teenager status issued

I believe it is the parents responsibility to give their children and true comprehensive lesson on sex. I believe it is also equally important to have an open line of com muncation with your children so that they will tell you when they are ready or feel comfortable telling you which base they have arrived at.

My son is a teenager now. . . they sex talk was had with him years ago and has gotten more detailed as he has grown. . . he is so comfortable with me that I was the first to know when he saw real live boobs for the first time. . . I keep condoms in the house, in a spot that hubby, him and I only know about and he knows how to put the on because we practiced with a cucumber and I sent him to his room to practice on himself. My children all know that they can come to me about anything and i will not fly off the handle but will treat it as a learning experience.

honesty and open communication are key to sex ed with your kids.

if you keep telling a child something is forbidden w/o going into to detail it will be something they will need to try.

Oko as in what goes in the obo. . . .

--190--:

@sisterwoman
hehehehe, u have started wiv this your OKO and OBO once again,
BTW did you see what your sister Platimunk did~

hehehehehehe. . . . . you know me I keep hubby happy in the bedroom and I stay happy every where else. . . . . .no wahala here


yes you gave me the link

If you are not committed to one person than double dating can help you figure out what traits you want in a partner and which you do not. double dating allows you to keep your options open w/o being tied down to one person too soon.

I think that young people should double date so long as they are honest about what they are doing. There are some rules that should be followed while double dating:
* Honesty
*keeping both r/s seperate and never talking about one to the other
*If the guy is still inclined to pay for all dates then that is ok but be prepared to be go dutch or pick up some of the meals as well
*****and most important. . . dont get in your feelings if they are double dating too.

If you play very well there is no need for tears. . . . tears only come from true pain for me at least. . . . .

His oko makes all his decisons for him anyway. . . LOL

it only matters if his lack education affects his abilty to support the family. . . .

my father taught me thru his actions what a real man looks and acts like.

He told me to never accept any man that could not treat me better than he did.  And that if I had a difficult time figuring out if they were good or not I should bring them home for him to evaluate on my behalf because sometimes love clouds our judgement.

I just went thru this a few months ago when I was clearing out some old boxes.

Anyway I kept all the pictures that had us together doing something and most involved my children, so it is part of their history as well. But any pictures of just him I tossed and although it took a lot of back and forth I tossed all of his sons pictures as well. I had asked him for 2 years to pick up these pictures and since it was not important to him then ultimately it was not important to me. As painful as it was as a mother to toss away this child's pictures I had to do it because that child is not mine and their history is no longer my investment.

So I think it is each person preference and comfortably. . . . just be honest about why you are tossing or keeping.

actually deep soul I would have to disagree that they have low self esteem. . . . I would venture to say that it would take high self esteem to wear what you want regardless of public pressure

Not to say that some dress the way they do to get lots of attention. . . . but u can show skin and still be classy and sexy.

why not show what your mama gave ya. . . . .

a nice v-neck with some apple bottom pants aint gonna hurt anyone, and if you have a flat stomach why not wear a shirt that shows that skin, it can be done very tastefully

i would have to say that women dress the way then men want them to dress, if more men would say no to half clothed women and yes to the fully clothed women then more would dress differently,


I would like to know what you mean by half dressed, are we talking about cleveage, or booty cheeks hanging out.